Wounded
by MelloKai
Summary: Sakura a timid nurse is terrified of her abusive boyfriend.Work is her only escape and even that is gone when he finds a job at her work.She's assigned the duty of rehabilitation for a mental patient.Sabaku no Gaara,a mental institution resident.Gaasaku.
1. Confrontation with Current Situation

Sakura stepped out of the shower, grabbing on to the shower curtain when her wet feet began to slide in opposite directions on the wet linoleum floor. But the slick material slid from her finger tips, and she fell , slamming her hips and back off the the shower and the cabinet under the sink.

At least , that was was what she Tsunade-shishou. Tsunade was livid when she saw the bruises, and Sakura's jarring limp.

"Sakura, you need to get rid of that piece of shit, I am _telling _you! " said Tsunade frowning deeply. " This is the second time this month!"

_Only because I was able to hide the the other ones with concealer before I got to work. Goddamit... Why did I have to be running late this morning? " _I know!" whispered Sakura meekly. " But he said- he promised he'd never do it again! And I love him, at least when he isn't drunk. But," she paused to dry her eyes with the back of her fingers, " he's been drinking more and more lately. "

Tsunade sighed heavily, and then dismissed Sakura. Sakura dried her tears and put on her " just fine" smile. The smile that she had manufactured and perfected as a mere child. The red puffiness was gone from her eyes, and cheeks seemed to pull up into a natural smile. To the untrained eye she looked fine, Just fine.

* * *

" Okay, you're all set !" said Sakura smiling brightly. Helping patients was what made even remotely happy. Her job was her escape.

" Thank you! " said the twitching old lady. She had fallen down the steps when she slipped on a file that Sakura had dropped when another doctor bumped into her in the stairwell. Sakura had given her some pain medication for her head, and then healed all the cuts and contusions.

" Miss Haruno, " quipped an elderly woman who found herself to be better than those who worked on the top floor. " Tsunade- sama has paperwork for you to fill out. "

"What!? Forms again?" exclaimed Sakura, her tone aggravated.

"Yes, again. " Said the little old lady before thrusting the forms at her. Sakura grabbed the forms before she could drop anymore, and made the hard journey to the lounge. She was carrying nearly twenty pounds of paper work, and they threatened to spill at any second .

She worked on the top floor, where the "newbies" were almost always assigned. If they were short on a floor, and the "newbie" had just finished medical school with an exemplary record, and grade sheet, they _might be_ appointed to the fourth floor. Sakura worked on the first floor with the less ill patients who had the minorities of the medical illnesses or defects that just qualified people for admission to Konoha's Medical Institution for the Mentally Unsound.

You worked you're way down from the fifth floor. Ninety eight percent of all doctors who worked at the Institute had to work a minimum of ten years to get down there to the underground floor. There were only eighteen known people in the history of Konoha to have gone to the one of the two U-Levels in under five years, and only one to make it in under a year. And her name was Tsunade.

* * *

Sakura stood up and cracked her back and knuckles. She had worked late , and almost all of the other doctor's had left. She had worked all day , almost missing lunch. She had ended up being the last one in line for lunch. The food wasn't that good in the first place, and not to mention the fact that she had to eat the previous day's leftover "Meatloaf Surprise".

She separated the finished and unfinished paper work into two separate piles, hoping to take as much time as possible.

She walked down the stairs slowly, one at a time- her hips still ached something terrible. Sakura stopped when she got to the lobby. He was there waiting for her. Sasuke smiled when he saw her, that hellish smile she had once found quirky and unique and somehow charming. She was now terrified of him the moment it crossed his features. It was a sign that he had been out drinking with his work buddies. And not just wine, hard liquor.

"Hello, _honey!" _he said smiling a sloppy fiendish smile. " Could I have a word with you?"

Sakura gulped, and before she could protest, and say no, that yes she did in fact mind, his large hand circled around her upper arm much like a vice and pulled her along. He had half dragged, half-lead her to the other room where he aimed to talk at her, but when he heard the conversation that the receptionist was having with her boyfriend on the phone he moved forward again. He pulled her further down the hall, and yanked open the stairwell door. Sasuke clattered down the stairs, tugging her along after him.

"Sasuke!" she whispered nervously. "We can't be down here! " her voice was laced with the fear she usually kept tightly coiled in the pit of her stomach.

"Sakura, there is _nothing _I can't do. " snarled Sasuke kissing her almost angrily on the cheek. He stared into her eyes for a moment- and her insides felt as though they were wilting. She could still see the love they shared shining in his eyes, but they seemed to be fogged over and hazy with something else. It wasn't lust- that was for damn sure. He seemed to be... sad. Or at least a combination of sad and furious.

" I got a new job honey!" laughed Sasuke.

" What?" asked Sakura. " You have a job! At the hospital! What's - did you get fired ?--"

" I _did not _get FIRED!" yelled Sasuke , interrupting before throwing her against the wall. " And besides, I was missing you. I never get to see you anymore! You work all the time! So I got a new job. Here, so we'll always be together!" Sakura looked horrified, but she tried to manage a small smile. It look more like a grimace, but she was hoping Sasuke wouldn't notice in his drunken person inside the little cell shouted and began to pound loudly on the wall.

But, he did notice, to her dismay. His eyes were riddled with hurt and shock, and then his anger at her causing him such pain flooded in, drowning out any thoughts of stopping from his mind.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I give you wonderful news and you practically spit in my face!" roared Sasuke, taking a probably drunken swing at her head. He deliberately missed her head, and slammed his fist into the wall, earning a loud howl from the inhabitant of said cell.A sob rung itself from his long neck, and he took a shuddering breath. "Don't you love me!? Tell me you love me!" He swung again, this time like he meant it.

Sakura let out an inaudible stream of curses when he connected with her head, and that was when her instincts kicked in. She kneed him in the the groin, and then took off down the hall, her heels clacking on the steel floor.

She was rounding the corner when the heal on her right pump snapped off, and she was sent sprawling to the ground. She yanked off her right heel, and was tugging off the other one when Sasuke came around the corner. She threw it and watched almost shocked as it smacked him square in between the eyes by the sharp heel of the shoe. She ran, only barely noticing the fact the that floors were freezing, the cold metal stinging her feet as they pounded across it.

" Come back here! I _jusssst _wanna talk with yoou!" slurred Sasuke loudly with that odd calm. She knew she was going to get the beating of her life if she didn't get a miracle sent by Kami himself.

The loud noises were freaking out the patients, who were so accustomed to the silence of the place where everyone talked in whispered soft sounds. They banged their hands and kicked their feet against the walls of the metal cells, shouting and screaming, some even sobbing. Some of them began a crazy, almost satanic sounding chant, and the noise filled Sakura's ears.

This was the second U-Level floor, where the murderous psychos went. The first was the one for those who were of bodily harm to others when they were scared. These were the people who killed because it was fun to them , and because they thought they were out to get them. Killing came natural to these people , it was second nature. As easy as breathing.

* * *

Tsunade excused her self from the young man huddling in the corner . She had just stopped by for her daily inspection. The people on this floor had a tendency to find ways to make weapons out of anything. One had even got so far as to remove the flesh from his finger tips to sharpen the bone beneath, making human claws. These sorts of things used to surprise her .But nearly thirty years down the road not much baffled her. She didn't look like she was in her fifties- in fact, she looked as she did when she first got the job. Thin and slender, full chested, and just curvy enough . Not to mention the fact that her firm cheeks,the icy stern eyes, and blonde hair helped a lot.

She shut the door behind, silently. Whoever was making such a racket would be in a lot of trouble when she found them. Tsunade hoped that when she got in close enough proximity she would not find that there were two patients fighting. However, if the situation did arise, she would kick both their asses and then send them back to their cells. It had been known to happen down here.

But it indeed was not what she had expected. Sasuke had a firm hand on the back of Sakura's neck and he was trying to force her to open the door to one of the obviously worst patients cells. But lucky for her, she didn't know the key combination. Or rather unluckily. He appeared to be squeezing harder and harder as she insisted that she didn't know it.

Sakura's hands were clenched around Sasuke's wrists, squeezing. The red headed young man behind the two inch thick steel door, and bullet proof window was consumed by a look of complete and utter blood thirst. His eyes widened in shock and glee when with a crunch the bones in Sasuke's grip were crushed into pieces by the raw strength unknown to Sakura. Sakura glanced up for a second , as if mystified by his face. The young man froze, no one looked _him _in the face. There was only one person allowed to do that. And this little pink haired woman would surely die at the hands of this big man.

Suddenly the man was gone, sailing through the air headed for the solid steel and it was then that he realized Tsunade had punched the man in the side of the face, and that he was in fact not flying. He couldn't here what she was saying, but he could read lips. Sakura nodded that she indeed was okay, and then she turned back to look at him , but he moved too quickly to allow her to see him again. He'd tear her limb from limb when he got the chance, but not today. Not while Tsunade was watching...

He waited for her to look back to Tsunade who was seriously whaling on the guy, before he let himself see for himself.

* * *

A couple minutes and a lot of bloody punches later, Tsunade watched smugly as Sasuke limped toward the steps having injured it when he was so haphazardly thrown against the solid wall.

"That's right coward! Run!" she said her voice ringing with triumph, and tinted with disdain. " Asshole..."

"Oh my God!" breathed Sakura. She leaned against the door, not noticing as its occupant jumped back. She slid to the ground, and cradled her head in her hands. " What am I gunna do? " She whimpered, and started to cry. " He's going to twist this all around! Shit, I have no home! He has all my stuff, and- and- he's going to freikin' work here! " exclaimed Sakura.

"Not if I can help it!" Said Tsunade firmly, helping her up off the ground. " And you , my dear, are going to stay with me, and we are going to get this all sorted out, key?"

"Ok," said Sakura letting out a held breath. "But what about them? " she asked indicating clearly to the rampant U-Level residents. Although, she had to admit the cell behind her was remarkably quiet, she was just wondering if she had even seen the face in there. She leans forward to investigate, and Tsunade takes a sharp intake of breath. Sakura freezes, and then jumps back when that face appears suddenly and without warning.

She smiled and unconvincing smile, and then stood up straightly. She and Tsunade spent the next hour getting the residents in check, and quieting them down. Tsunade was impressde. sure the girl was nervous, but she was relatively calm considering what had happened. And the fact that she was working with patients on the worst U-Level.

Sakura and Tsunade both got in the car, and both neglected to fasten their seat belts. Minutes later, Sakura had fallen asleep, her head lolling off to the right against the window of the passenger's seat. Tsunade looked over at her, at the woman who had somehow managed to fall asleep mid-sentence, hell she had the audacity to fall asleep mid-word. Tsunade rolled her eyes. With the proper training she would be just fine. As long as she was around to watch her back , she would be just fine. And she didn't intend to leave soon.

**WOHOO! I hope you liked it. I officially promised a GaaSaku story to my Love In Death viewers, readers. I think i did anyway. But it has been floating around in there for a day or two so I though I would give it a shot. This was aspired by Affliction. If you are interested in reading her version, look in my favorites. I really hope you enjoyed it! **


	2. Paper Work

Sakura woke to the rough shaking of her shoulder. She yawned, and rolled to her side to see who it was, and she saw the strange mystified face she'd seen the night before. The mess of red hair seemed to suit him, and she found it odd that she wasn't frightened by him. Surely , as frightened as she'd been of Sasuke, she would be even more afraid a psycho mental patient.

But then it seemed that she was being gently tapped on the shoulder, only to wake up to see Tsunade staring back at her. Tsunade told her it was time to get up, and train.

" What do you mean train? Like study?" asked Sakura dubiously.

"No, I understand that as a kunoichi who specialized in medical jutsus, you don't have much experience in the fighting field, ne?" Sakura nodded, curious to see as to where she was going with this. " So I am going to teach you to stand up for your self. In a few months you'll be kickin' ass an' takin' names!" encouraged Tsunade.

"Ok, then let's get to it!" said Sakura excitedly.

Tsunade called in to work that they would be coming in at lunch that day, she was after the one in charge of the building. But, there was one thing bothering her. She didn't control everyone they hired. if someone other than her hired someone, she could not fire them for no good reason. But, she had resolved that matter the night before when she was lying awake thinking. She was going to make his life a living hell. And if that didn't get him drinking, and drunk enough to do something to lose his job, she would find something that would.

* * *

Sakura was panting, hiding behind the tree on the very advanced training course that was in Tsunade's back yard. Her muscles were going to be unhealably sore, and she knew she was going to have trouble walking upright at work that day. She jumped out of behind the tree to throw a kunai at Tsunade, and scowled when she easily deflected it. She was growing dizzy, and her vision was blurring in and out. She couldn't focus on hitting Tsunade. She had started out good in the beginning, but as she grew more and more fatigued, her accuracy rate dropped drastically.

After a little while more of this, Tsunade called a stop to it, knowing that Sakura had reached her utmost limit. She gave Sakura a couple Ibuprofen to dull the pain , and then they ate lunch. Afterward, they both climbed into the car, and drove to the Institute. Sakura's breathing quickened when she saw Sasuke's car in the parking lot. But the reassuring touch of Tsunade's hand on her shoulder calmed her fears, and she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that she would be safe as long as she was near Tsunade. But there was the ever present lingering fear of pain, like that of being in a car accident. Every time you see a car accident along side the road, you get the familiar rush of fear and panic knowing that could have been you.

But, she did her best to push her fears aside, and put on her "just fine" smile when a patient just inside the door told her a dumb joke. But she laughed anyway, and found she immediately felt better. Her mother had always told her that laughter was the best medicine.

She followed Tsunade to her office, where Tsunade would tell her what floor Sasuke would be working on. That way she could move Sasuke or Sakura to a different floor or section of the hospital where Sasuke would have no reason to go. She sighed and rolled her eyes when she saw that Sasuke would be working on the fifth floor.

"Looks like you're working with me for a while. You are going to be my personal assitant! That's way better than intern, huh? " scoffed Tsunade.

" I- yeah! But, why are you helping me? I mean, I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth-"

"Then don't. " Tsunade interrupted. " I am helping you because you are the only honest person I have seen working here in nearly twenty years. And I don't want you to get hurt .We don't have enough people like you in the world. So I think sparing one even though I like to bitch and boss people around I figured you could use a hand." Tsunade sighed, and rolled her eyes. " I think it's rubbing off on me. I sound like a sappy old fool. Let's get to work! "

* * *

Sakura followed Tsunade down to the first U-Level, the lesser of the two, and waited to be instructed.

"Ok, I have some files for you, and I need you to fill them in ." Tsunade noticed the set of Sakura's jaw, slightly pushed out agitation. "Hey, I never said it would be fun down here. Well it is once you pass up paperwork. But I tell you what. If you get all that filled out properly, I will let you work with a patient, while I am watching in the two way, okay?"said Tsunade, walking off at a brisk pace, obviously expecting her to follow.

"Ok, but where do you think I should go to fill this out?" asked Sakura, hosting the messenger bag of files higher on her shoulder .

"There is an empty cell at the end of the hall. Just make sure that you don't let the door close or you won't be able to get out. I don't want to have to come looking for you. "Tsunade said briskly as she typed in the code on the door to a cell. " Oh, and here you might need these for future reference. " She handed her a keycard. " This doesn't work to open the doors, but if you slide it through the slot in my office, you can get the combinations for the door. I'll activate your card when I think you are ready to begin with the patients alone. When that time comes, you will receive an emergency beeper. We'll go over everything later. "

Sakura nodded her heart racing with excitement.She was finally getting a chance to do the thing she had set out to do since she was five. She had always wanted to be work in a mental hospital. She was a Medical Nurse, specializing in mental illnesses and ailments, but she majored in Psychiatry and Psychology.

She padded down the hall, borrowing a pair of Tsunade's flats. Tsunade had told her that she learned long ago to wear flats. Sakura took off one of her shoes and set it down in front of the door but its enormous weight nearly crushed the shoe. Sakura yanked the shoe out, and slipped it back on her foot while holding the door open with other hand.She reached out to see if she could drag the little night table over to prop the door open, but it was bolted to the melted metal floor beneath it. The walls had somehow been painted to look like a regular room, with a soft off white color, and a faux wood pattern on the floor. She took the paper work out of the bag, and set it on the little table quickly, and then used the messenger bag to tie the door open. She disconnected the over the shoulder the strap, and tied one end to the door handle and the other to the little bedside table's leg. She sucked in her breath and winced when the strap looked ready to give. But it held tight, and the door remained open.

Sakura sat down on the surprisingly comfortable bed , and opened on of the twenty files. They differed in size from tiny to small , to large to bursting. There were no medium sized files, for which she was greatfull. she would rather have ten big files than thirty tiny ones.

The notes in the files were very detailed, they just needed to be put into the forms that were at the top of every file. She filled the smaller ones out first, just to get them out of the way and then started in on the bigger files.

* * *

It was nearly time to leave when Tsunade came in to get her. Sakura was pouring over a huge file, so deeply immersed in reading it that she didn't even notice Tsunade's approach until Tsunade poked her in the ribs. Sakura jolted back to reality, and she just managed to stop herself from throwing the papers on the floor. Tsunade rose a brow, and Sakura stuffed the files back in her bag. She went to grab the strap but then remembered the strap was holding the door open. She held the door with one hand and untied the strap with the other. She held her hand for Tsunade to hand her the messenger backpack, and she refastened the strap to the bag. She held her hand out , indicating for Tsunade to leave first, and then followed her. The day had passed smoothly.

"It's a little early to be leaving isn't it Tsunade. We don't have to leave for another hour or so, right?" asked Sakura

"Yeah, we are going to get your stuff. I got some of my old friends to come and help us move it. " Said Tsunade tugging on her arm to get her to walk faster. She and Tsunade rushed to sign out, and then sped to her old apartment. It had originally been hers, but had recently changed it over to Sasuke's name. She doesn't even remember the reason, or how he gotten her to sign it over, but he had.

It was a quick in and out, and without Sakura's stuff in there the apartment looked rather bare. Sakura removed the couch, loveseat, the china, the cofee table, the 50" TV, her queen sized bed and the frame, all her beauty products,her photos of family and friends, and her clothing and heel collection. And last of, her secret stash of money that she had hidden from Sasuke.At the last minute, on the way out she dumped a bag of sugar on the floor, so that he would get ants and other bugs. She snickered and then drizzled some honey on top. She heard the others calling for her to come on, that Sasuke would be there any minute.

So she scurried down the steps, and hopped into the car laughing. She and Tsunade were pulling out of the drive, when Sasuke's car was pulling in. It took him a moment to recognise her , but when he did he cursed. He jumped out of the car and demanded that she stop. But She flipped him the bird in stead, smiling. She was finally free of him. They may have to work together but they wouldn't be bumping into each other, as long as they stayed on their respected work schedules.

Sakura laughed when she heard the long stream of curse-words that the wind carried to her from Sasuke's mouth. He was gone, his words no longer reaching her. She turned to Tsunade and told her off the surprise that she had left for him on the floor. Sasuke was never one for cleaning, and she knew he would leave it there. She hoped that for Sasuke's sake he like ants. Tsunade and sakura laughed the whole way back to Tsunade's house.

Things were looking up for Sakura Haruno. She didn't know how long they would be looking on the roller coaster of her life, but this was good enough for now. Yes, things were indeed looking up for Sakura haruno.

R+R! To Be Continued

**So do you like it? Read and review, please. Check out my other stories, and ah...I'll keep you posted. I spent an hour today looking up some medical stuff, so I hope you find it worth while in the next chapter! I really do! So- I'll keep ya posted! I worked hard to get the info for the next chapter so you need to tell me if I sound like I know what I am talking about in the next chap, k? Thanks!!**

Lauren/Mellokai

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	3. Check Up on Him

The next morning, Sakura actually asked for more paperwork to fill out, which surprised Tsunade.

" Why- you mean you actually _want _more paperwork?" questioned Tsunade incredulously.

" Yes, I started reading through them , not just skimming through to fill out the charts, and I wanted to find out what made each person tick, the reason for the reason they were here. I mean we all know why are here, but what is the reason behind that? The reason behind reason. I like that..." Sakura rolled her eyes at her own randomness.

"No, I actually have something I think you might like better. " Tsunade led her back down the hall to one of the first doors on U-Level One. She held out her hand. "Give me your keycard."

Sakura's eyes widened with surprise, and she handed it over quickly , with excitement. Tsunade walked back to her office, when she remembered that she still needed to load the numbers onto it. She swiped it through the slot, and then waited a minute as the card was loaded with the digits for the combinations to open the cell doors. She handed the card to Sakura, and gave her a cell number.

"Sakura, you are officially the youngest member of the Konoha Institute for the Mentally Usound's youngest ever U-Level Resident Doctor, congratulations." said Tsunade, handing it back to her.

"You mean I get to work with the residents down here? " asked Sakura beaming

"No, I mean that you are the youngest resident doctor. You are going to be the one to heal and take care of these guys when they get sick." She expected Sakura's face to fall but it didn't. She simply nodded once more before speaking.

" It's better than being an intern, huh?" laughed Sakura. " Who knows maybe I will help someone, anyway." Tsunade nodded with a look of agreement, and then handed her a list of residents who needed check-ups, and the correct procedures to dealing with these patients in particular, and the precautions necessary.

After the first few exams, Sakura was exhausted. Giving the patients their forty mg of Phenorbital to sedate them was always a struggle with every patient. But she persevered, and got through the never ending surge of patients needing exams , claiming her glorified lunch break with a vengeance. Tsunade took in her disheveled look, and snorted with laughter.

Sakura glared at her, and channeled her attention onto shoveling the food into her mouth. She finished her lunch, and then stood up, throwing her lab coat back over her shoulders.

"You mean you actually want to go back there after that?" asked Tsunade convincingly. She was testing her, unbeknownst to Sakura.

"Well, if I don't do it, who will? " laughed Sakura. Tsunade shrugged.

"Whatever. I've been doing what no one else wanted to do for over twenty years. I _think_ I deserve to eat my lunch as long as I please. " Tsunade stated, punctuating it by means of jabbing the chopsticks at Sakura.

Sakura laughed and rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

" Hey, make sure you give Resident #22 an exam. He is over-do. Just make sure you knock him completely out. But save him for a little later. He is quite a handful."

* * *

Sasuke watched her leave, his breath steady and sober. He knew what he was going to do. And he knew how he was going to do it, too. She had what he needed to kill her, without killing her. With any luck, he would be able to do it the next day. But, then his sharp Uchiha eyes spotted the thing that would help him accomplish his goal, and it hug from her neck, swinging with each springy step she took.He vowed to himself that he would take that damned _spring _out of her step. He was miserable without her, whether or not he would admit it, and if he couldn't have her, no one could.

He bade goodbye to the co-worker he had been eating with, and then seemingly innocuously followed her , about twenty feet behind her.

* * *

Sakura opened cell #32, the cell of one of the more fierce patients, and quickly injected the Phenobarbital into his shoulder. He continued to flail for a few more moments, and then he seemed to withdraw into himself, bored and apathetic of the fact he was getting a check-up by a hot nurse.

She performed the check up quickly, and wrote down the proper notes on her check sheet list.She covered him up with his thin blanket, and shut and locked the door behind her.

She turned around when she heard footsteps, and she looked up expecting to see Tsunade-shishou, but she frowned when she saw that no one was there.

She pulled the list out of her pocket, and crossed the last cell number of her list. She sighed when she remembered that Tsunade had added to her list. Cell number 22... She jotted down the number, and strolled down the hall, her soft soled flats making a lazy scuffling sound.

She slid the card through the reader on the door, and her name popped up, and then it faded away and the doors number appeared. She dialed it into the keypad, and then put the card back around her neck. She pulled the syringe of Nembutal out of her pocket, and then she opened the door. She had grown accustomed to giving the shots in the shoulders of paitents, but when she saw the angry red vein pulsing beneath his skin, she injected it into a vein in his hand , much like that of an IV. She had a lot harder time of dodging the things he threw at her, for it took longer to work through his system, but she didn't worry that much.

She was good at dodging, but he took her by surprise when he lunged at her, and his hands closed around her throat, and he started smacking her head against the wall.

* * *

Sasuke watched through the window, and laughed. He figured it was his lucky day. He was getting the job done for him! But, when his voice , his laugh reached the resident within the cell, he straightened quickly, and unsteadily. The medicine was starting to kick in. He lurched forward, knocking into a table. He grabbed the syringe that Sakura had used on him earlier, and then jerked toward Sasuke. Sasuke had already backed away a few yards, watching cautiously. Fighting someone who would feel pain ,or at least scared was one thing. But this guy was psycho, the deranged look in his eye radiating his killer intent. That sadist smile on his lips, and the odd lack of eyebrows, though the obvious furrowing of the brow.

Sasuke turned to run but even in the man's nearly catanoic stake he seemed alert and on edge. He lunged at Sasuke, his arm nearly bending backward in an effort to keep Sasuke from getting away. Sasuke yelped when the needle pierced the skin on his collar bone, and he hollered when its pointy edge grazed the bone . And again when it landed in his shoulder, and near his neck.

There was still a small amount of Nembutal in the syringe, and it rushed into his blood stream. Gaara had rearranged his grip,and pushed down on the piston, and the small amount of the barbiturate was released into his system. There wasn't much but enough to make things seem to slow down , and dull the pain slightly. He didn't move when the crazed man was yanked off of him, he let himself fall to the floor.

The world was spinning around him, and he grew dizzy. He tried to remember the number of the room... 42? No... 12? No! 22? Yes, he thought with a smile. Cell 22. He would get him back for what he did .

* * *

Sakura realized then, as she was dragging the red-haired man back to his cell, that she still loved him. HSe might not love him as much as she used to, but she still liked him. She just wasn't in love anymore. IF he could get his act together, than maybe things could work out... She would ask Tsunade later if she thought it was a good idea.

She had to struggle to remove the syringe clenched in his hand, but suddenly he let go. His eyes opened and he gazed at her, his eyes swimming with hate and loathing, clouded with a killer intent. She sighed and then smiled at him.

"Well, you kind of did me a favor. Now I know how I really feel." she smiled again when his mouth went slack, and his eyes widened. " Yes, I'm thanking you. I remembered that I loved him. This'll be our little secret. I won't tell anyone. It's my way of repaying the favor. " she stood up to leave, but then turned suddenly.

"But, if you ever try to kill me again, _I swear to God! _I will have _it _cut off!" His eye widened.

"I won't try. " he murmured drowsily.

Sakura smiled triumphantly.

"I'll _kill _you. Is that better?" The smile dropped off Sakura's face.

"Keep it up smart ass, and I'll have you put in solitary confinement. " she said visciously.

" Like this isn't solitary enough?" he scoffed. She opened her mouth to fight back, but he appeared to be out already. She scowled, and then slammed the door behind her. Gaara opened his eyes, and smirked. She'd die sooner or later. He couldn't stand the obnoxious pink color of her hair, the way it seemed to mock his miserableness with its bright happy color. He strained against the medication, but it was no use. Any other would have been out cold by now, but he was trying his best to stay awake. He didn't like sleep, and the hellish nightmares that they brought.But eventually he unwillingly succumbed to the power of the drug.

Sakura pulled Sasuke into an empty cell, and cleaned him up. She propped the door open with his body, so she would be able to get in and out. She washed out the cuts. Sasuke, the wuss, had passed out from the pain of the stab wounds. All in all, he had about nine puncture wounds. Some of them the needle had gone in sideways, and when being ripped out had left long punctures to the skin. She patched him up and healed the more serious wounds, and then lifted him up and put him on the bed. She'd let him out when he was awake. She trotted back down the hall and quickly examined Gaara, writing down notes about his behavior, and the awful red veins from repeated injections.

Tsunade had told her she'd be taking a while eating her lunch, but Sakura was getting miffed. She had left Tsunade nearly twenty minutes ago. She had already examined three patients, and fixed up her ex-boyfriend. She wondered if Tsunade was even coming back. Maybe she'd taken the day off.

But, she hadn't. Not five minutes later she thumped tiredly down the steps.

"Sorry, got held up, some old lady was spilling her guts all over a germaphobe. " She noticed the blood on her over coat, and the brusing on her neck. " What happened to you?"

**Author's Note- Sorry it took so long, I had trouble writing it at first , but I got it now. So i hope you like it. Do i sound like I know what I am talking about medicine wise?**


	4. Everyone's Got Some Kind of Past

Tsunade hadn't agreed with her, and she was strongly against her opinion. But when she heard Sakura suggest that Sasuke take anger management classes, she seemed to consider it. Sakura was miffed when Tsunade changed the subject on her.

"Let's go out to eat tonight, what do you say ? "she asked aloofly.

"No! I wanna talk about this! I still love him, I just need him to be the person I fell in love with! " protested Sakura.

"But what if he never was that person? " retorted Tsunade angrilly.

" You don't even know him!" spat Sakura.

"I know him better than you! He's not a good person, Sakura, I can see it in his eyes!" raged Tsunade. She had never been one to take being second-guessed lightly.

"You don't know that! He is not just some patient of yours! He is a human being!" Sakura spewed emotionally.

"What are you implying, Sakura?" said Tsunade evenly.

"That everyone is just some psycho-analysis to you! Pick them apart , find what's wrong, and move on to the next patient! You don' t focus on anyone long enough to make this job meaningful! I cam into this business to change lives, _save_ lives!" said Sakura angrilly, and then her voice softened. " And I wonder if you are hurting just as much as everyone else. I don't understand it. You blocked everyone out, but I know that something happened to make you this way. What made you so distant? " Sakura stopped talking as if waiting for Tsunade to speak.

Tsunade sighed. " Sakura, for a newbie, you're one hell of a psychologist. " She plopped down on her couch, and gripped the bridge of her nose with her index and thumb, pinching it as if to take her mind of more important matters.

"If you really wanna know..." Sakura sat down in the recliner next to her. " I'm not going into details, but... "

" That's ok. I know from experience, it just feels better to let it out." said Sakura soothingly. She didn't even remember how the conversation had gotten so far off task.

"Well, when I was in my late teens and early twenties, I met this guy. Anyway, we fell in love and everything, right? But this other guy didn't want me to be with him, so he killed him. He killed him..." Tsunade looked shocked. " I haven't told anyone, not a soul... In nearly thirty years... " Tsunade held back the tears, as best as she could, but Sakura's light hand on her shoulder told her it was okay to cry. And she did.

She had a good long cry, and when she was through, she curled up on the couch, and fell asleep. Crying sure took a toll on people.

* * *

The next morning on the way to the Institute, Tsunade handed Sakura a huge file.

"What's this? " asked Sakura, flipping it open and skimming through the first page.

"It is a record of a patient. He's been here since he was five or six. I am putting you in charge. I can't handle him anymore." Said Tsunade, her voice wavering.

" What do you mean? How long have you been working with him, a year?" asked Sakura curiously. She shut the folder; she hadn't seen the name of the male patient, or how old her was. For all she knew, he was a child.

"I have been holding onto the past, and secrets that I shouldn't. So I am taking your advice. I am giving you a big piece of my life. I spent nearly eighteen years working on him, and... I shouldn't hold on to things I can't fix. "

"But why are you giving him to _me?_ " asked Sakura , her voice full of awe. Eighteen years?

" I have been to countless therapists, and not one of them in thirty years has ever gotten that out of me. And you , got it out of me in not even a month of working with me. You've got the touch, Sakura. A doctor, a psychologist like this, like you , they don't come along very often. Once in a hundred. I thought I was that doctor, and I realize now that I am not. " Sakura nodded, and Tsunade focused on driving now.

They had almost reached the institute. "I'm sorry about what I said. " said Sakura softly. " About you not being able to keep a patient, and just moving onto the next one. " she glanced over at Tsunade , who nodded in forgiveness. Tsunade made no effort to get out of the car even when they were parked in the parking lot.

" I look like a wreck!" laughed Tsunade thickly. " I need to fix my make-up. Mind waiting on me a minute?" Sakura shook her head no, and she waited patiently while Tsunade applied a fresh coat of mascara, and concealer. She was going over the finishing touches of her lip-gloss when Sakura asked her a question.

" So , when am I supposed to read this all? "

" Whenever you can. I am going to tell him that I am not going to be his therapist anymore. I don't think he is going to take it too well, but there isn't really anything he can do about it, huh?" Tsuande said, tucking the lip gloss into her bra. " Just in case. " she said patting her bosom. " Maybe there will be a hot doctor. "

Sakura laughed lightly and rolled her eyes. They both walked in together, and then they got down to business.

* * *

Sakura spent every minute she wasn't working poring over the near novel of a thick file. She had only barely made a dent by the end of the day. Sasuke didn't show up to work that day, he had stayed home sick as Tsunade had suggested the night before. But she hadn't been thinking about him at the moment.

But Sakura, insisted that they drive over so Sakura could make him a decent meal, since he was "sick and in dier need of a good meal!" as Sakura had put it.

Sasuke was actually polite and rather civil. He let Sakura feed him his favorite food. After they were done and getting ready to leave, Tsunade decided to give them a max of five minutes alone, and then if Sakura didn't come down the stairs she would go up them.

"So , uh... Sakura? " asked Sasuke almost sheepishly. His stubble was growing back in.

" Yes, Sasuke? " Sakura asked slowly. He looked terrible to be honest.

" I threw out all the alcohol. I am not going to drink anymore. I promise!" he begged. " I won't!"

"Well, if we are going to work things out I need you to do one more thing for me. " she said smiling.

" Tsunade-shishou thinks it would be a good idea if you went to anger-management. " said Sakura squeazing his shoulder gently.

"What?"he asked worriedly. " Anger- management? I don't know..." he looked pained and confused.

"Well , think about it. If you want us to be together, you are going to have get your shit together. " said Sakur, " I love you, but I can't live like this. I'll see you around. Bye. "

Sasuke was silent as she left, until at the last moment he called out a goodbye as if he had forgotten. _Poor guy, _thought Sakura, _he's going through withdrawal..._

* * *

Sakura stayed up late that night, reading through the file. It had surprised her earlier that the man she was taking care of wanted her and her ex-boyfriend dead. How ironic.

Eventually, her eyes grew tired and pained from deciphering some of the illegible scribbled of Tsuande when she had written in a hurry. Tomorow was going to be an awkward day. She was going to have an appointment with him, and she hadn't even read his whole file. She guessed she have to play it by ear.

**Author's Note- Wow! Two chapter in one day? Even I'm impressed with me! Anyway, I am going to my Dad's for two days so I thought I'd write something to tide you over. But, anyway. I don't know how I wrote this so fast. It just came to me however repetitive that sounds. Enjoy! Read and Review! Comments or Suggestions, you know what do! Check out mah other stories. **


	5. Things Fall Apart

Sakura shifted in her chair, yawning. She was in an interrogation room of some sort. She was waiting for Gaara to join her. Tsunade was waiting behind the two-way mirror, for Sakura's protection, along with a few other security officials. They were the part of staff that deal particularly as body-guards, and not as medical practitioners . Tsunade had pointed out to her that if he had been heavily sedated when he attacked Sasuke , that in a less sedated state he would be more volatile.

Sakura may have been worried but at the moment she didn't show it. She stood up as Gaara awkwardly waddled in , his feet shackled together, and his arms cuffed behind his back.

"Is that really necessary," questioned Sakura , " Do you have to have him shackled like a prisoner? I think that is a bit much. "

"Miss you are either incredibly naive, or _overwhelmingly idiotic. _Do you know how many people he has attempted to kill? " said the man who had led Gaara in . He roughly pushed Gaara into his chair, not trying at all to stifle the smile that came to his lips when Gaara smacked the base of his skull against the steel back of the chair. Gaara hissed in pain, and strained forward, kicking and struggling, but the large man pushed him back with one hand. " See? All chained and drugged up he's trying to kill me!"

"_I'm _thinking about killing _you_ right now, _pal_. " said Sakura viciously. The man started to protest, but Sakura pushed him toward the door. " Give me your keys."

"Are you insane?"

**"_Give. Me. The. Keys." _**Sakura punctuated each syllable as though it were its own sentence. When the man refused to move, she grabbed him by the collar. " He may be a resident but he is _not _an animal. He's human, and dammit hes going to be treated like one. Got it?" the man nodded his face red. He handed her the keys, and then backed away from the door. Sakura slammed it shut, and then turned to Gaara, sighing heavily.

"If you think this is going to make me trust you, it's not. I could still kill you right now. "

"No, you can't. " said Sakura pointing toward the mirror behind her. "And I do that for anyone. I don't believe in treating humans like shit. "

"Why'd you point a the thing behind you?" asked Gaara, narrowing his eyes.

" Oh, I forgot you guys can't watch Law and Order in here can you?" When gaara said nothing ,she sighed, and then undid his wrist and ankle shackles. " It's a mirror. THey can see you but you can't see them. "

Gaara stood up, rolling and stretching out his joints . He walked cautiously toward the mirror. HIs hands pressed against the glass.

"Woh's that?" he asked, turning toward her, pointing back at the reflection.

"Gaara, that's you." 'You mean they don't even get to see their own reflections in this place, ' thought Sakura shocked.

"No he's not! _I'm right here! " _Argued Gaara loudly, pointing a finger at himself.

"Look," said sakura, " It's just like a picture. If you do something in front of it, you can see it like it happens. " Sakura proceeded to wave and dance a little bit in front of the mirror. " See? That's me!"

Gaara flexed and unflexed his fingers in front of the mirror, his face like that of a young child's who was seeing for the first time in his life. His fingers slid to his face, his features, touching them , studying and remembering them. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning slightly when it seemed to stand on end.

* * *

Sakura watched silently as Gaara started at his reflection in the mirror, amazed. She smiled when he used his hands to pull his lips apart to look at his surprisingly white teeth. He gnashed and snapped them open and shut a couple times. A second later it seemed, he seemed to realize something was wrong, and he started to punch the glass.

"Stop it!" Sakura said trying to grab his hands, and stop the frantic pounding.

"They're looking at me! I don't want -They can't- " his voice dropped to a near dead whisper. "_They're in the glass!" _His voice was hoarse when it went that low .

"No Gaara! " Sakura wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug. " They aren't in the glass! They're behind it! Real people!" Gaara's wild flailing ceased somewhat.

" I don't believe you. " he said coldly, glaring at her through the reflection in the now cracked mirror.

"Look, I'll show you." Sakura let go of him, and yanked open the door nearest to the window, to reveal Tsunade and the security officers. Gaara relaxed, and then trembled , as if remembering to be on his guard twenty-four seven.

"NO! They can't- " Gaara tried to leap at them, but Sakura wrapped her arms around him, trapping his arms at his sides. She locked her fingers together, and tried her best to hold him back. The security officials leapt up ready to take an offensive position.

"Shh-Shh. It's okay, Gaara. " soothed Sakura. " Tsunade, I am going to have to ask you guys to leave. " Sakura somehow managed to keep her voice in that soothing tone, although it was growing more qand more strained.

"But, we're here to help you-"

"Tsunade- this isn't helping him. It's scaring the shit out of him. He doesn't like it. " Tsunade smiled. Sakura actually knew what she was doing, so she should listen. She obliged quickly, and the small party departe by means of the door that led to the hall. They locked the door behind them.

"Shh-Shh. Gaara, they're gone. " When Gaara completely stopped moving, she released her bear hug. It was then that Gaara realized she'd been touching him, and his whole body seemed to tremble, like a cat's shaking water from it's coat.

Gaara crossed his arms over his chest almost defensively as he and Sakura sat down in their seats.

"Okay," said Sakura letting out a nervous breath. She smiled her " just fine" smile. " Now, I am going to give you word and you are going to give me the first word that comes to mind, alright?"

"And why in the hell do you think that _I _would ever do this for _you_?" retorted Gaara skeptically.

"Because I officially control the amount of drugs you are getting. So, I wouldn't like to have to make you take Sodium Pentothal to help you spill your guts. I really don't want to do that. " said Sakura truthfully. "Now, are you going to answer my questions? Truthfully?"

Gaara nodded ever so slightly, his head tilting forward barely a fraction an inch.

"Alright, first word. Gaara."

"Death." Sakura wrote something down in her notebook.

"What are you doing?" questioned Gaara suspiciously.

"I'm writing down you're answers." said Sakura, turning the paper so that he could read it. " Is that ok?" Another nod, and sakura proceeded with her questions. " Orange?"

"Hell."

"Pink?"

"You..."

"Hate?"

_"Pink._" hissed Gaara.

"Lovely," remarked Sakura dryly.

"What is that?"

"What? "

"Lovely? What does it mean?"

"Lovely, is - well lovely means something is pretty. But it also means that you think something is mean, but you say it's nice anyway. "

"Why?" asked Gaara confusedly.

"I - it's complicated. " Sakura sighed. " Now, back on track. Tsunade."

Gaara thought for a moment. "Safe. "

"Syringe?"

_"Evil!" _Sakura stifled a smile, luckily before Gaara looked up from the paper she was writing on to her face.

"You?"

"Me?" he asked uncertainly.

"Red?"

"Blood." answered Gaara quickly his face excited.

"Blood?" asked Sakura. She was wondering how long she could milk this, how much information she could get out of him.

"Fascinating."

"Fascinating?" 'Let's see how much farther we can go...'

"Entertaining."

"Entertaining?"

"Hurt."

"Hurt?" 'Now we're getting somewhere, ' thought Sakura.

"Pain." Gaara's voice was strangled, as if he didn't want to go on.

"Gaara, who causes you pain?" asked Sakura softly, her face kind as well.

"Him, he does." Gaara's voice was barely audible.

"Gaara who is he?" asked Sakura gently.

"I can't tell you!" said Gaara loudly, he curled into a ball in his chair, covering his head.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"He said he'd kill me! He said he let the monster out of my head, and it would kill everyone! He said he'd hurt Temari and Kankuro!" Gaara's tall wiry frame trembled, and he looked near tears. His arms now hugged his shoulders, as if he was holding himself together that way.

"One more question Gaara, okay?"

Gaara nodded widely. "Okay. " he whispered, his voice cracking.

"Was this before or after you came to live here?" asked Sakura. Gaara didn't answer, and she smiled softly, encouragingly. " Just one more. You don't even have to talk. No one other than me can see, just nod. "

Gaara quickly shook his, head, and he wiped his nose with the back of his arm. He hadn't cried, but he had been damn terrified.

"Ok, are you hungry now?" It took Gaara a moment to process that question. Sakura simply dropped it after that one question , like she had promised, but Tsunade always pressed him, and eventually he had stopped telling her his secrets.

He reply, but then he didn't have. His stomach let out a load roar of protest at the injustice of being completely empty. He hadn't eaten the day before , nor today. The food guy hadn't come down to the bottom floor like Tsunade had told him he would. He knew Tsunade thought that he came down. On days that Tsunade worked down there, he would come down. But if she wasn't there, the residents didn't get fed. He had only started about a week or two. He had black hair and black eyes. He was the man he'd attacked.

"Alright, I don't want to , but it's mandatory. I am going to have to shackle you and stuff, but when I get back I will undo you. Do you want me to send Tsunade in?" Gaara shook his head no, and Sakura nodded. She grabbed her purse, a large tote bag-like purse, and then paused, She took it off her shoulder, and then withdrew a thick book. " Do you like to read?"

Gaara stared at her blankly. She shrugged and walked toward him. His hands were in front of him, which she was sure was more comfortable. She placed the book on the edge of the table nearest him, and then nodded, as if knowing that he _would_ read it, even though he acted otherwise. Gaara could make out the title in bold lettering: Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe. It sounded interesting. As soon as she left, he would read it.

Sakura smiled, she knew exactly what he was thinking. " I'll be right back. "

**Author's Note- This would have taken me about an hour less, but I wrote about 1200 words, and then I was trying to pu the wrist support thing back on the keyboard, when it got erased and I ended up back at about 300 words. So... Usually it takes me about an hour or two but I spent about three hours doing this. Sorry!! Read, review, and enjoy! It's not to OOC, is it?**


	6. Bring More Ramen

Gaara uneasily eyes the large bowl of steaming ramen. He fumbled with the chopsticks, cursing loudly when he dropped them. he had always used a plastic "spork" a mix of the spoon and fork. He angrily stabbed the noodles once more,and he jumped back when the hot liquid splashed onto his legs. He crashed to the floor, trying to stop the burning sensation. The bowl had righted itself, so the hot liquid stayed in the bowl for now.

Sakura jumped up and dumped her glass of cold water onto his legs, and immediately stopped thrashing about. Sakura extended her hand but he didn't take it. He pushed himself up off the ground, and then plopped back into his chair.

Sakura said nothing and sat back down. She slurped up a few noodles, then wiped the back of her mouth off with the backs of her fingers.

Gaara carefully observed her movements, and then mimicked them perfectly, flawlessly. Once he tasted the ramen he shoveled it into his mouth ravenously.

"Slow down, you'll get sick!" warned Sakura.

"Hmpghhh." grunted Gaara midbite. A moment later he stared almost sadly at his bowl, then eyes Sakura's, who's bowl was still half full.

"Are you still hungry?" asked Sakura. Living with Sasuke had altered her appetite, and it wasn't nearly as big as it had been. "Just eat mine, I know you want it. " she said when Gaara shook his head no. " I am really not hungry anymore. "

Gaara remained unspoken his only answer a joyful slurp. It was amazing how much ... happier? he felt when he had a full stomach.

Sakura set up the game of checkers, giving Gaara the whites so he could go first. Gaara grabbed the instructions, and then seconds later threw it back down.

"This is stupid! It doesn't make sense!" He said narrowing his eyes.

"What doesn't ?"

"All of it! I mean what is the point?" said Gaara pushing the box off the table.

"I know you can read-"

"Of course I can fucking _read!_ I have probably read more books in the past three years then you have in your entire life!" Gaara sat back in his chair examining a checker closely.

" GOD! Why-" Sakura stopped midsentence and took ten deep breaths in and out. " Ok, Gaara, " she said in a calmer voice, " would you like me to teach you?"

Gaara said nothing, but he watched as she explained how to move the pieces, and why you couldn't move certain ways.

"Wait, why can we only move diagonly? Not veritically or horizontally ?" he questioned with interest, leaning forward on his elbows, so close to the board that his nose almost touched the checkers.

"They just don't move that way, Gaara."

"Well why not?"

"Because!" said Sakura, trying to think of a valid way to explain it.

"_Why?_ I am not going to follow the rules if there isn't a reason for them to be there. And if it's a shitty reason, I break it. Just like the rules here. " said Gaara sitting back, and crossing his arms defiantly.

"Ok, ..." Sakura suddenly sat up straight. "I got it! "

"..."

"It's like trying to bend your legs backward, they can't move like that, unless you want to break them!" Said Sakura triumphantly." So if you move that way you break it! So, say they had a law here ,and you tried to break ,and you simply can't do it!"

"So you're going to break my leg if I cheat?" asked Gaara unbelievingly, raising his invisi-brow.

"No! No, it's a metaphor!"

"Oh,... " said Gaara. " Well then this should be quick. " He reached to move a piece. "

"So, " Said Sakura after a couple of moves. " Do you like playing checkers?"

"I don't _like _anything. It's like trying to bend a leg backward. _It just doesn't work that way. _" said Gaara , his eyes foreboding, daring her to delve deeper for a further explanation. but she did not .

"Alright," said Sakura scowled when Gaara claimed one of her checkers. "What would you like to eat tomorow?"

"Do I have a choice?" snorted Gaara angrily. " You mean for once in this shit hole I get to choose what I eat? How do I even know I am going to get to eat it?" Sakura made a mental note. His thinking is less thought out when he is angered, or distracted by something bothering him."

"Well yeah, " said Sakura confused. " What do you mean by that, anyway?"

"Well, the new food guy skips us every other day, sometimes two, unless Tsunade is on the job.I mean sure the other guy didn't feed us sometimes, but that was because he actually forgot. And when we do get to eat we get the shit that is ready to get thrown out. You can understand why someone would attack him."

"Yeah!" agreed Sakura. He hadn't gone into details and she had no idea who he was talking about.

Gaara smirked when he jumped and took three more of her pieces. " Shit!" She jumped and stole on of his pieces. " Tell you what-"

"What?" asked Gaara angrilly, still miffed about her getting his piece, and he pushed his piece forward.

"If I bring you a good meal everyday, whatever you want to eat, you have to answer all of my questions, so as they don't put you in danger of "him" , alright?"

Gaara's face seemed to freeze over. , and he withdrew in upon himself, staring at his lap, he pulled his hands away from the board. They grabbed onto each other, and he nervously intertwined them, and untwined them. They writhed in his lap like worms nailed to a fishing hook, knowing what was going to happen but still trying as hard as they could to get the hell away.

"Gaara, it's your turn." said Sakura carefully.

"Hnnn..." he groaned, and sat forward. His eyes flicked across the board pausing at random intervals as he took in the sights, and ran a battle plan through his mind. His fingers seemed to flick in some sort of disorganized rhythm as his mind ran through the possibilities. Sakura suspected that he was debating more than just a simple checkers game. His lips parted and he let out a sigh of frustration, no wait-relief?

"Bring more ramen tomorrow. " His checker leapt across the board, his hand following afterward, taking many enemy troops along the way, landing on the other side of the board. She had no pieces left so there was no point in giving him a king.

"You-You! You've never played this before? Are you sure?"

"Yes." said Gaara , his eyes once again narrowing.

"Damn. " Sakura sat back in her chair letting out a low breath. "Nobody beats me..."

"Well , " said Gaara frowning, " I'm nobody."

"Wait? What ? Are _you _joking?"

"No?" said Gaara his face twisted with confusion.

"Okay..." laughed Sakura. "It was still funny though!" she laughed.

"'Hn..." said Gaara standing up , rolling his head around to crack his neck.

"Psshh. Please, I can do better. " snorted Sakura.

"No, " Gaara cracked his fingers, toes, and back in one fluid motion.

"You-" Sakura shook her head and then responded by cracking her knuckles, shoulders, knees ,fingers, toes, and back. Gaara shrugged.

"Alright," Sakura glanced at the clock. " Well, our time is up!We actually ran over a bit."

"How long?" asked Gaara glaring at the clock.

"Oh, one, two, maybe three-"

"Minutes?"

"Hours." mused Sakura. " Actually it was two hours and forty three minutes.

"No! You messed it all up! I'm going to _miss _it!"

"Miss what?"

"The sunset! I always get to watch it with Tsunade!" Gaara buried his face in his hands.

Sakura grabbed his hand, resiting the urge to sigh when he jerked back, smacking into the table.

"What are you doing?" he asked wearily.

"I'm trusting you okay? I've got to trust you to trust me, alright?" Gaara stared at her for a moment, then when she grabbed his hand again , he relaxed slightly under her touch, allowing her to pull him along. For now.

She raced to the elevator, desperately trying to keep up with Gaara, so it didn't look like he was loose and she was chasing him.

They rode to the fifth floor, Gaara pacing restlessly back as forth as they waited. When the door finally opened, Gaara was off like a shot, racing down the hall. Sakura chased off, her long legs carrying her. These had been her breadwinners, the things that had gotten her into college to study medicine. She was a runner dammit, and she wasn't about to be shown up by someone who spent his life cooped up in a cell.

At the top of the stairs there were two doors, one on the left and one on the right. Gaara went to the right. When Sakura got up there, he was sitting calmly with Tsunade watching the sun set behind the clouds. They were inside a spotless Plexiglas box, so that Gaara could not get loose. There was that hospital smell even in here. Sakura vowed that when he was ready, she would _make sure_ that he got to take a little field trip outside.

And so , the three of them watched the sunset, and then when it grew dark Tsunade pointed out the constellations to Gaara and Sakura, but mostly to Gaara. Tsunade was pointing out the consellation of the Eternal Lovers when Sakura remembered. She was supposed to have had dinner with Sasuke, and she was two hours late.

* * *

"Sasuke?" her nervous voice filled his ear .

"How could you? I've changed like you asked, I'm going to anger management, A.A., what else do I have to do?" his voice sounded thick, like he'd been upset.

"Honey, I am _so_ sorry! I got caught up at work, I had this patient. I spent the whole day working with him!" Sakura pleaded into the receiver of the phone, driving as fast as she could to his house on her crotch rocket. She hadn't had to use it in a few months, because she had been using Sasuke's car, and then a few weeks ago she had started riding to work with Tsunade.

"Him?" asked Sasuke nervously. " You're not leaving me are you?" his voice almost cracked.

"No, honey I am on my way there right now! I am coming! " she leaned into a turn." Alright hon I gotta go before I wreck while I am talking to you! I love you!"

"I love you , too."

"Bye, honey. I'll see you i-" and the line went dead.

**_Author's Note- MUhhhhahaha! I bet you are about to yell at me right now, huh? I know , I know. Just wait a day or so for the next chapter. It will come up, I promise! Be xcited! be very excited! Read and review. LOVE IT! _**


	7. Too Much

Sakura cursed as she rounded the bend, and her single went out as she sped through the underground tunnel. She quickly tucked it into her bra for lack of pockets, and then put both hands back on the bike. If she made one mistake inhere, she could end up ricocheting off the walls. The tunnel was very small, and the car behind her was right on her back wheel. She had half a mind to just speed up and get out of the way, but she didn't want her bike to slip on the wet ground.

She let out a sigh of relief when she got out of the tunnel, and then she was off like a shot. She swerved of the road onto the path she had taken so many times before, and then jumped the little hills, realizing the rush that she had been missing for such a long time. It felt good to get out and ride and just feel free again. She felt a pang of disappointment when she turned back onto a real road. The institute was in the part of Konoha that was more like a country side than city. The houses were well spread out, though there were some apartment complexes, but there were only two or three to a complex.

She drove up the short drive, past the stone walls that surrounded the complex. She parked in her "usual spot" or at least it had been. Sakura sighed as she readied herself to face Sasuke. She had checked up on him to make sure that he was actually doing as he said, and he was . He was in Alcoholics Anonymous , and he was taking anger management classes every other day.

She knocked on the door, and a relieved Sasuke opened the door.

"I thought you- the line went dead!" Sasuke wrapped her in a hug and Sakura hugged him back. She glanced at the room behind him, and saw the romantic setting, the obvious effort put into it. She immediately felt worse, and she mentally kicked herself in the face. He was trying as hard as he could, and she was blowing him off. She had forgotten, but she still should of tried harder to remember.

Sasuke gentlemen-like sat her down at the table, and then she watched and talked to him while he whipped up dinner. She laughed at his jokes, even when they weren't meant to be funny. It seemed like being back together made her feel so much better. But something was nagging at the back of her mind, telling her something here was just off. Just barely off, someone else wouldn't've picked it up, but she had.

"So, who were you working with today, that kept you away for two hours?" said Sasuke with a forced calm.

"Oh, this new patient of mine. He is a little bit difficult to work with, but I think it was worth it. " said Sakura before taking a bite of Sasuke's favorite dish. He always said it was her favorite, but in truth it wasn't. ugh, Chicken Fresca.

"So was _he _giving you any trouble?" asked Sasuke, looking her in the eyes.

"No, he was actually pretty good. Usually he is very violent , but he wasn't really bad today. "

" If he wasn't bad why did you stay two hours late?" Asked Sasuke, his hand clenching his wine glass even though his voice was calm.

"I told you , he's a new patient, so I needed to spend more time with him to help him get adjusted. He had the same therapist for almost eighteen years.So , naturally he needed some more time ."

For once Sasuke's face softened. " Eighteen years?" his face was shocked and empathetic. He had lost his mother when he was eighteen, and his dad had moved right on. He also knew that Tsunade was the only one other than Sakura who would do therapy sessions with the U-Levelers. So to whoever it was kind of like losing a mother of some sort. Or so he rationalized. " Well, who is this patient."

"I can't tell you, he is my patient, and we have patient confidentiality, you know that." said Sakura. She forced herself to finish the last bite of her food. She took a swig of wine, " And besides, I don't think you'd understand.

"Is it that guy from the other day?" asked Sasuke, his grip growing tighter on his wine glass. Sakura concealed the need to wince in fear.

"Yes, " Sakura confessed.

"I don't want you to work with him anymore. " The sympathy for the man in cell # 22 was gone.

"Sasuke, he needs me! And I , as a psychiatrist, have a duty to help those in need!" Said Sakura roughly.

Sasuke remained silent and he focused on breathing in and out through his nose. It was like the breathing technique Sakura used, but his exercise forced his breathing to slow down in order to take in enough oxygen.

"Ok, just..." Sasuke paused to think. " Next time we make plans, please don't bail on me. "

"I won't . It's just, he was actually talk today, and I was doing so good! I didn't - I was so focused, I just forgot. " admitted Sakura.

"Oh , I think I'd better go it's late. Do you want me to help you clean up the dishes and stuff?" asked Sakura.

"Uhm, yeah, I would like that." Sasuke smiled.

They washed the dishes together, occasionally splashing each other with the water. When they were done, Sakura gave Sasuke a kiss on the cheeks, then on second though gave him a quick peck on the lips. Sasuke watched as she pulled on her jacket and then waved at him. he waved back , and then she pulled out and left.

Sasuke climbed into his car, and then drove off into the dark. He had something to do. And it concerned a certain someone. The fact that he was going to anger management didn't change a thing. This was personal. And he do it whether he was going or not.

Sakura had left her key-card on his table. And it was time he got back at the resident of cell # 22.

* * *

Sakura realized when she stopped at a stop light that she had left her key-card at Sasuke's apartment. She turned the bike around after the stop light had changed, and sped back toward the apartment, taking her time going over the jumps, savoring each moment.

* * *

Sasuke sped toward the institute, noting that only the night janitor's car was the only one in the parking lot. he slipped in the unlocked front door, and then crept along the hallways. He saw the janitor board the elevator, cleaning trolley and all, and watched the digital readout. He went to the fifth floor. Sasuke smiled. "Perfect." he purred with satisfaction.

* * *

He wasn't home.

"Where is he?" wondered Sakura aloud. "Probably went to the grocery store, his refrigerator was almost bare!"She unlocked the door with her old house key, and then looked around for her key card but it wasn't there. 'Maybe I left it at work...' Sakura climbed back onto her bike and took off for the Institute.

* * *

"Hmm... I think we should use enough to kill you, what do you say?" Gaara looked up at him, terror in his eyes. Sasuke had already sedated him with one dose, and it had started to kick in , and he hadn't fallen unconscious just yet. Sasuke's eyes were widened with excitement, and repulsion at the being in front of him.

"No..." escaped Gaara's lips.

"Yes, _Gaara._ Time to take a little nap. "laughed Sasuke. He plunged the needle into the vein in Gaara's shoulder, releasing the 100mg of phenobarbital ( Nembutal) into his bloodstream. Gaara's eyes fought to stay open, but the world began to swim before him. He felt faint, and scared. Sasuke kicked him in the side, and Gaara slipped sideways on the floor. It took a moment for him to feel the shock. It was hard to breathe, it was like his lungs were falling asleep. He too was falling asleep , too weak to move. His thoughts reeled, scatted and judged poorly.

* * *

Sakura jogged down the steps. She didn't want Tsunade to question her about 'staying late'. She slipped on a piece of paper that the janitor had yet to pick up, and was sent flying down the stairs.

* * *

Gaara's face twitched for a moment and the went still. His breathing was slow and labored. 'Anger management doesn't change a thing. But , then again I never really got angry. Seeing people scream was the fun part... I can't wait to see her face. That'll teach her ... '

* * *

Sakura stood up and groaned, her hand on her tail bone. She healed as she walked, her hand glowing green in the near dark. Even in the dim light she could see a door ajar, and a moment later she realized who's it was.

She saw Gaara slumped over on the floor, the syringe still sticking out of his arm, wobbling ever time he struggled to breathe. Sakura quietly picked up the medicine tray of the table, Gaara's eyes dully following her movements, as if wondering if she was really there. He didn't even flinch when she brought the tray down on Sasuke's head, knocking him unconscious. Sasuke crashed into the wall, and then spun around to face her, but before he could move any further she smashed him in the face with tray, and when he fell to the ground she took another swing just to make sure he was down.

"Are you okay?" she asked Gaara nervously. His eyes closed as he slipped into unconsciousness. Sakura gently pulled the syringe out of his arm, and then carried him like a baby as she ran down the hall as fast as she could to the nurse station.

* * *

Tsunade rolled out of her bed, and made a wild grab for her cell phone. She flipped it open. "Hallo?" she answered groggily.

"Tsunade, you need to come back to the Institute, there is a huge problem on my hands. "

"Sakura?"

"Quickly!"

"I'm coming." Tsunade was out the door in a second, not caring for once about her appearance. She could hear Sakura say his name in the background , trying to coax him from unconsciousness.

**Author's Note- You like? Read and Review! Enjoy it , love it ! Thanks. Seriously, please review, I think the larger amount of reviews attracts readers, because they think it will be good , so please!!  
**


	8. Under Neath it All

Sakura studied his face, the beauty of its relaxed state. The inhibited state of face that he never let anyone see. An occasional grimace or tremor of fear or discomfort crossed it , disrupting the smoothness of his features. Many people had frown or laugh lines, but not Gaara. He had the faint traces of glare lines, where his face pulled together when he glared coldly. But he looked almost like a completely different now. Minus the fact that he was covered in cuts and contusions, he was truly a beautiful soul.

Sakura realized with a pang that he had never grown up... He was stuck here. His whole life, no one to love- Sakura sat up with a startling realization.

"He said he'd kill me! He said he let the monster out of my head, and it would kill everyone! He said he'd hurt Temari and Kankuro!" She remembered the way that Gaara's arms had wrapped around himself, holding himself together emotionally by thin threads. She could see the nearly visible cracks in the walls of his soul, the desperate attempt at pushing away by pushing it back, repressing it. The cold front was simply a lie, an effort not to harm others but to protect himself, and more importantly Temari and Kankuro. And when she found out who they were, she would be able to find out who _he _was. Underneath it all, underneath the underneath.

* * *

At times he heard her talking to him, telling him stories at night, kissing him at night before he went to sleep. Helping him find his teddy-bear , the one he had lost so long ago. He missed her, the way she smiled at him when he did something right. Even the scolding when he did something wrong.

"Mamma..." the whisper seemed to come from no where, and Sakura looked up. Gaara's lips were still parted, the word still clinging to his lips, the precious moment unbeknownst to him . He was out of his prolonged unconscious state, and simply sleeping.

Sakura smiled, faintly. She was tired. Giving blood was hard work...

Tsunade gave her a motherly pat on the head. She loved this girl, more than the world, and she loved this boy. If only... Tsunade shook the thought from her head, she couldn't bare to get Sakura fired. Fooling around with a patient was unheard of... Tsuande sighed longingly. Maybe if she could cover their tracks for them...

Sakura put her head back down on the side of the mattress, where she was seated. Her breathing slowed, and she soon slept.

She had given the blood Gaara needed, a precise match to his blood type. They were pumping her blood into his system in an attempt to flush the barbiturates out of his system, and it had worked, but Sakura was running a little low on blood. But her body would produce more and she would be fine. Sasuke was at the police station, after gaining knowledge of his amazing ability to lie, the police relented and admitted Sasuke to taking a psychological exam under Sodium Pentothal. He might be able to lie, but he would have to speak his mind. And when Sasuke got angry, he'd tell you whatever you want.

Gaara let out a contented sigh, happy only in his dreams. But they were ever changing, and soon the nightmares crept in. They always did. He long ago stopped believing in the fairy tales his mother had so faithfully told him, the different voices she made, the silly faces, and the kiss on the forehead before he went to sleep.The dreams were not dreams at all , but the truth, a scary reminder of the truth.

The dreams started out nice, but always ended with her stretching out into his father, cold cruel, his dark body a silhouette against his wall, emerging into the light, his face unshaven, and his hand swinging drunkenly, the whiskey in the bottle sloshing mercilessly. Splashing onto the floor, onto his father, onto everything. His father would see the mess,and look to Gaara who huddled in a small mass, his eyes peeking above the covers. And then his father would beat him, blaming him for the spilling of his whiskey. One night he had even gone so far as to carve a scar into his forehead. His father said it was the only love he would ever get from him. Blood had been everywhere, and then his father had told him he would kill him if he told. He told him he was a monster,and that was why he beat him.Gaara's terror filled screams and howls of pain had rung out through the air.They had woken up the whole house, and Temari and Kankuro had seen if happen. They had stood in the door way, unable to move, unable to stop their father. Gaara's mother had walked in then, having heard Gaara's screams . She saw what her once beloved husband had done, and she grabbed his shoulder, trying to pull him away from her youngest son, and he did turn from Gaara. And he wildly plunged the knife into her chest, and then he froze when he realized what he had done.

His father had abandoned him here, saying that Gaara had carved the ai symobl into his own forehead, and that his son had killed his wife. He put on a good act, without the alcohol in his system. He played the sob story of how Gaara was always the problem child, when in truth, Gaara was the sweetest kid you'd ever meet. Temari and Kankuro could not speak up and lie, for they knew that they might die, and Gaara had understood.His father had told him he would kill them if he didn't play along. And Gaara knew that he would've just to save his own as. No one even questioned the fact that a five year old could kill his mother. Gaara found this unbelievable, that they would even suspect a five year old could kill a grown woman in the middle of the night. After a while he had stopped believing that there was someone out there who would come and save him from this place. He was tired of being picked on, and eventually he fought back. And after that fight, everyone left him be, they were more respectful of him. No one tried to hurt him anymore.

Tsunade kept him safe, and had taught him to read and write when she first starting working there. And now, years later, there was only one person who had ever managed to delve more than an inch or two into his past. She had wormed her way into his mind, cracking the barriers he had set up to protect himself. She made it years into his past. But he didn't know if he was necessarily unhappy that she had, it felt better to have some things off his chest. It was good to finally have someone who finally understood him. Underneath it all, all those years he had been crying out for help , someone to talk to , and now he had found it.

* * *

Sakura stirred, rubbing her eyes, and looking around, she remembered where she was, and why she was here, and she wasn't happy. She felt incredibly shallow for believing any word that had ever come out of Sasuke's mouth. He was a liar just like her father, and her mother. How fitting that they had ended up together. There was only two things in life that she thanked them for. For giving her life, and for making her a stronger person, mentally and physically. The running from them had put her through college. She was born runner, what could she say. She didn't run from her problems, just them. They tended to be a bit of a safety hazard.

Gaara's face was twitching and convulsing, and she gently shook his shoulder, and he awoke with a start. He looked shocked, for a moment and then he sighed, and pushed his head back into his soft pillow. He looked at a downward sideways slant at Sakura, eying her nervously.

He nodded slightly, his acknowledgment of thanks a high praise for her. She smiled gently.

"Don't worry about it. " she touched his arm, and he flinched. " Chill out, I have to readjust your IV, your getting blood on the sheets."

Gaara's hand stiffened, and jerked it up toward his face. He watched it fascinated, his eyes wide. Sakura pulled his hand back toward her, and gently pulled it out, and then reinserted it into the vein carefully. He sighed and stared at it. He frowned.

"It's not exciting anymore. " He frowned again. " I don't like it. "

"I know. " said Sakura smiling a little bit.

**Author's Note- Mushy for this story, I know! But I hope you like it! read and Review please! Look up avenged Sevenfold, and Synyster gates, Doesn't he look like human Gaara? I mean seriously!**

Mellokai/Lauren


	9. Withdrawal

Gaara struggled to maintain his balance as he walked with Sakura. She was moving him up a level onto the 1sr U-level floor. She didn't think he should stay down there now that he was being cooperative, and was obviously showing improvement in his treatment. He was going through withdrawal due to the fact that Sakura had taken him off the barbiturates once they had worked themselves out of his system. He was weakened and had been vomiting for the past for few hours. Sakura sat through it with him patiently. She once more and mopped the seemingly ever present sheen of sweat from his face. He was too tired to even flinch of protest, his body was simply not up to it. He sat propped up in his bed, his legs loosely encircling the small garbage tin. His arms hung at his sides, only moving every so often to help in his efforts to keep bile off of his new clean sheets. Sakura had brought them from Tsunade's to help him feel better while he was sick. The standard issue here were nasty. She was thinking about starting a petition to get all of the residents nicer sheets.

She was reading him a book, but not the one she had given to him previously he had finished that. She had installed a couple of shelves in the corner of his room. She had bought him a couple of books, and placed them in alphabetical order as he had requested, and she was reading him the first book, A Night in Daneswald, by Barry White. ( I made that up, don't look for it!) As she read her voice changed and shifted with ease, easily flowing in and out of character. He listened with interest, his eyes closed as he watched the story unfold like a movie with people and a narrator. It was like a show put on by puppets, and Sakura was the puppeteer. It reminded him almost of his brother and his seemingly unhealthy child hood obsession with the marionettes. He had played with those for hours, and had gotten incredibly good at it, they had looked like real miniature little people on the stage Temari had built for him. He had loved to put on shows for him, and he seemed to fancy the idea of a normal family. Those were the shows he liked to put on the most, and those were the shows that Gaara had always requested.

He wrenched himself from his memories as he felt his stomach muscles contract and convulse,and he gagged into the garbage can. He had run out of things to puke up long ago, but his body still refused to give in. He gagged and gagged, only coming up with a little amount of greenish bile . The garbage can had been emptied many times, but now it remained, waiting to be half filled again. He hoped the puking would stop, but he couldn't make it. Sakura wouldn't give him anything to stop it, because the last thing she needed was him on more medication. The only medication she would be giving him was something to help him sleep.

Sakura wiped his face, and handed him some water. Gaara's hand seemed to shake slightly as he took a large gulp, and then he sat back against the large pile of pillows. His eyes were barely open, and his mouth hung open just slightly. The light was dim, and the dark made his hair look longer. It hung in his face casting shadows across his fine features. They were miserable, although Sakura had grown somewhat accustomed to his loathing glare. But this was different, it showed that he actually felt, and for this Sakura was grateful. He was sick, and he didn't feel good at all. His whole body hurt, and his eyes were sensitive to the light when it was on all the way. Sakura had agreed to read softly to him, but her voice even then was strong and clear. Gaara listened faithfully, his curiosity at what would happen in the story getting the better of him. For once, it felt nice to have someone taking care of him again.

* * *

As she had hoped it would, the vomiting had stopped. She had given Gaara an Ativan, which was a benzodiazepam, a commonly prescribed call of anxiety pill and/or sleep aid. She had given Gaara three and a half mg, and she read to him while he fell asleep. He looked so much younger curled up in fetal position under the covers. His features once again smoothed out, and she stared at them mystified. He was like a totally different person...

Sakura stood up and quietly slipped over to the desk in the corner of the room. She opened Gaara's thick file, and quietly read through it. She reviewed everything, and she found out who Gaara had been talking about when he said he was trying to protect Kankuro and Temari. They were his brother and sister. She smiled almost when she saw that they wrote him regularly, and came to visit every once and a while. They had been coming less and less lately, but they were still coming at least five times a year, which Sakura could honestly say was better than most people's families.

She never managed to finish reading past that due to the fact that she fell asleep. She was leaning over the table, her head on her arms, when someone startled her. Tsunade put a finger to her lips, and she pulled Sakura from the room, telling her to go to one of the doctor's quarters and finish out the night there.

Sakura grogilly nodded, and padded down the hall silently. She had no trouble falling asleep, it took merely a second. And she slept the rest of the night with a deep dreamless sleep.

When she woke up, she yawned loudly, and then remembered Gaara. She scowled as she got of bed, and her back was stiff. She supposed it was from sleeping while leaning forward like that . She had always had good posture.

She opened the door, and walked into Gaara' room before scribbling a quick note for him. She knew he would wonder where she had gone when he woke and she was gone. She wrote that she was leaving to get breakfast for them , and that she would be back soon. No sooner had she left than Gaara picked up the note and read it his eyes almost apprehensive. He was going to trust her, but things were going to fast and they were scaring him. He had already opened up and then gotten beaten up by some psycho ex-boyfriend. He was beginning to think that that guy was even crazier than he was.

* * *

Sakura showered off quickly at Tsunade's, and then quickly whipped together a lot of pancakes, and put them into a casserole dish. That oughta keep them worm. She put the ones that she had cooked into a lightly set oven to keep them warm, and then when she had a full plate she grabbed the maple syrup and some butter, and then as an after though: forks. She slipped everything into her bag, and then walked out the door, before running back in to grab napkins and plates, and some whip cream. That always made her feel better.

* * *

Gaara devoured the pancakes. He hadn't even realized how hungry he was. He had particularly liked the whip cream. He had asked Sakura what it was, and she pulled out the can of whip cream, and showed him how it worked. He shook the bottle, and pressed the nozzle, and watched as it produced a swirly white blob on his pancake. His eyes widened as a thought came to mind. He lifted the can, glancing at Sakura , who rose a confused brow. He opened his mouth, and then tipped his head back. He pressed the nozzle, filling his mouth with whip cream, and the very tippy top of the mas of whip cream seeped out the corners of his mouth as he slowly tasted it, carefully mashing it against the roof of his mouth, contemplating the flavor. He let out a "hn." of satisfaction, and put another glob of whip cream in his mouth. Before long he had finished the entire bottle, and he looked ready to bounce off the walls. Sakura intervened though, and gave him a paint by number. It occupied him for the betterment of an hour while Sakura read the book calmly.

"Sakura?"

"What. Gaara?"

"It's- I'm done."

"What? Those things take me forever!" said Sakura rising to her feet. She looked over his shoulder, and groaned. It was perfect.

"What, what's wrong with it?" demanded Gaara.

"Nothing. It's wonderful. Why are you so good at everything?" said Sakura running a hand through her hair.

Gaara shrugged and pulled out another and set to work. The things he did never ceased to amaze her. One minute he was angry and the next he was calm and collected. Even content in his work. So, if he like this he would love the painting lessons the other non-U Level patients took. And Sakura had her heart set on getting him there. It would take some work, and she would have to pull some strings, but she could do it.

**Author's Note- Going to Florida may not update soon.Maybe a week or two!. But, I hope you like, and ... Read and review! Constructive criticism appreciated! Thanks!**

Mellokai/Lauren!


	10. The Bugs Crawl In

Gaara stared at the blank canvas in front of him, unsure of what to do with himself. He leaned slightly to the left, his eyes peering insightfully at his neighbors childish work, the thick bold colors, and the sloppy lines. It appeared to be a painting of the center piece on the table in the middle of the large circle of art eisles. The man himself was middle aged, and beefy , apparently still in pretty good shape. he sat slightly hunched, yet defiantly tall. As if he didn't give a damn he was in the mental instituion, infact he gave off the impression that he was proud of it.

Gaara's eyes slid to his right, and he tilted slightly, soaking in the painting. It as a little more well constructed than the other painting, but childish none the less.

He examined the centerpiece carefully, noting the slight tilt to the sunflowers, and the fact that there were five, and he deserately wished that they were four. He even noted the small spiderlike crack on the very bottom of he redish brown earthen ware vase, and the way in seemed to spread out in a web pattern.

He used a little swatch of cardboard to mix the colors, although by the process of trial and error, before effectively concocting the shades that exacly matched same sunflowery yellows, and the stem greens, and the red browns, and the correct colors even for the shadowing areas.

His lines were slow and dilberate, completely concentrated. His hand moved with slight repitition as he shaded in an area.His eyes narrowed so far that it didn't even look like they were open anymore.

* * *

A sudden squeal , manly-though it seemed impossible to her ears, and she looked up to see Gaara hold another patient's head to the ceiling fan. Gaara's wiry right arm held the man, his hand closed solidly around the throat, crushing the wind pipe. His arm didn't tremble against the force the larger man was excerpting as he flailed and kicked in an effort to free himself. His head hovered merely inches from the thick revolving metal panels, his hair growing dreadfully close with every passing second.

What should she do? Move to fast and the man got the better part of the top of his head snipped off by the fan set on high. Move to slow and risk the man's head slowly being blown apart. she scared and surprised at the same time. He had been doing so well...

But more than the fact that he was obviously intent on the beefy man, his face shocked her even more. The whole face a mask of utter nothing, blank space. And yet, the eyes, oh the eyes. Damn those eyes for what they portrayed to her, what they screamed to her. The load roaring of his blatant fury, and the hidden fear and secret self loathing. It was an all consuming fear, and only she knew it because she had lived with it all her life, and thus she recognized it. His eyes slid towards her, widening a fraction as she bored into his soul and mind. She knew he knew she could see it, and then it was gone. He had closed her off once again, his walls rising out of the dust and debris of his mess of a mind. Now only the burning anger remained.

Gaara's hand raised slightly and then the man made his move, grabbing the centerpiece off of the table to his right, and then he swung, bringing the vase down on Gaara's head. Sakura snapped out her trance as the man let out a roar as he did smashed the vase to the side of Gaara's head. Gaara's face didn't registered the pain at all, he simply blinked. His face closed off as it sometimes did, and he dropped the man to the ground, and walked mechanically back to his stool. He sat slightly hunched, his breathing quick despite his blank complexion.

Sakura simply stared at him, her mouth barely agape, and her cotton candy eyebrows woven together. She had heard of patients having mood swings, but, this... This was - was it possible he was bipolar? Sakura shook the thought from her head. She could analyze later, she had to deal with the other patient know. She was getting a little too attached to him for her preference. He was after just a patient, right? He didn't have to intrude on her life everywhere she went.

She glanced at the man who was carefully pulling himself off of the floor, and bending and flexing his limbs and such to assure himself that he was really fine after all. Then he straightened, as if he thought he had won.

" Sir, are you okay? I think you might have some bruising, but other than that-"

" Don't worry about me doll, I used to be a wonderful boxer in my day. I think Rosie over there needs her head examined," he said jerking his head toward Gaara. " They used to call me The Great Bo Biportuso-en Wall! I can take anything! You could've hit me with a bus!" He plopped back in his seat, and swiftly turned back to painting mode.

The woman next to him stared unabashedly at his painting, wistfully. Hers was better, but for some reason she didn't like hers, and she wanted hers to be like his. It was a mental hospital, what could you do...

"You know, back in my day, my paintings sold for thousands of dollars, " he whipered to her, " the next Picasso they said..."

Sakura zoned out on his one ended conversation with the disheveled lady, and she focused on Gaara. She was shocked that he looked no different, h was the kind of person wouldn't take a wrong look sitting down, but an outright insult? Something was definitely going on with him.

* * *

His breath came in short inhibited spurts, his chest locked up. He didn't know what was making him feel this way, but it had happened before. Usually they he was able to ride it out on his own , in his room, but there were people watching him now... And they would be staring at him. Oh god. The nauseous nervousness swept over him, the unidentified feelings of fear and anxiety coming in steady waves, washing over him. The sweat dropped from his brow into his eye, so narrowed with pain and emotion it was barely even open anymore.

He felt her hands on his head, but they were making some of the pain go away and he felt himself relax in just the teeniest fraction, but the feelings grew stronger by the second, and his breathing grew even more shallow. She didn't notice, she was only focusing on his head at the moment.

A startling pain in his chest, and then suddenly he seemed to drift away. He was being dragged along by old memories, down a road he didn't want to go.

**OOOOOOOOOOO**

"Momma? What's wong?" his voice small scared childish even.

"Oh, you know, " his mother let out a high tittering nervous laugh. " You know, that _damn door_ again!"

Gaara knew what she was talking about, it was a secret family code. Everyone knew that that damn door was their father. Her husband.

Gaara patted her back, an acquired motion , though by now it was familiar.he lay his head against her shoulder, an almost sniffle escaping him, and his throat tightened accordingly. She cupped the back of his head with her hands, and rested her chin there.

He knew she loved his father, but he didn't understand it. She loved it , would do anything for him, but in the corner of her mind the thought was there nagging her constantly. Her husband was a raging alcoholic.

She had tried to leave many times before, but he always begged her, pleaded even, and she would always give in.

Gaara had always been terrified the first day his father came home, his mother couldn't see his father drunk,so it was usually Gaara then who exposed to the drunken rage.

His father would go out after his mother had fallen asleep, and then come back drunk and wasted as an old napkin. He'd sneak back in through Gaara's window, always cursing when he smacked his head off his his son's window. Gaara was always light sleeper, woken by this after careful preparation of memorizing the sign. He had to be a light sleeper, if he was to have survived.

Once his father had lit a cigarette, and then he dropped the cigarette onto Gaara's bed and forgot about it. When the sheets caught fire, Gaara put them out, only to receive a dazzling right hook. He'd been knocked out, but in the last few seconds of his conciousness he had heard the muttering " wasted it, dammit!" under his father's breath.

He had loved his Momma , he really did, but he couldn't see why , didn't understand it all. How could you love someone so hard set on killing you?

* * *

"Gaara I am going to patch you up, okay?" Sakura sounded like she wS reassuring herself more than she was Gaara. He didn't move , or say anything at all. His breathing was quick, but she figured it was to be expected. She poured some peroxide onto a swab, and gingerly swabbed at the lacerations that the earthen ware had caused to his head. HIs hands hung limp at his sides, and they stayed that way.

After Sakura had stitched him up, three stitches total, she apprehensively stepped back. It was now that she realized how beautiful his painting was, the attention to detail, and the perfect color match- what was done looked almost like a photo. It was impossible it seemed for him to do something badly. But then she noticed the large red smear across it, and she looked over at the man Gaara had attacked. His flower was red.

She quickly conceived the obvious fact that the other guy, in the childish state of mind that he was in had slashed Gaara's painting with his red paint brush, obviously thinking it horribly wrong.

She glanced at Gaara who hadn't moved from the position he was in, and sighed agitatedly. And to think she'd felt sorry for him. She gently shook his shoulder, ticked off at how well he was playing into this . She shook it rougher, angrier.

"I am not kidding Gaara! You think I am going to feel sorry for yo-" She stopped short when he lurched sideways, and off the stool and to the right , onto the floor merely inches from the lady who sat there.

The lady who sat there jumped back, her crazed eyes gleaming with fear. " SATA! Su toe de SATA! Take him! Evil!" She shreiked, her hands comig up to protect her and she backed away. She was a sixty something individual suffering from moderate to severe schizophrenia. Her medication was working, so long as nothing upset her. " Sata..." she whimpered, curling into a ball on the floor.

"I need a stetcher, _now." _shouted Sakura, all the patients turning to see what had happened. The old man looked happy, which angered Sakura slightly.

Gaara was strapped to the stretcher so that if he woke up he wouldn't be able to thrash around anymore.

"You're alright Gaara, You'll be just fine!" She half yelled after him, as the medical assistants accompanied him on his journey to the institution's infirmary.

* * *

Her voice was odd high pitched and painful, to quick to make sense of, then slow and agonizingly load. It sounded like a monster , out to get him. He was trying to run, but he couldn't move, could only feel himself getting worse by the second. This time it was like nothing he'd ever experienced. Everything magnified tenfold, and his pain seemed unbearable. He wanted to just die, and have it over with. Anything but this. His lungs were on fire, it was like he was drowning on empty air. What little bit he did get made it worse, the burn growing each time.

He could not feel the things which bound him to this now familiar contraption, what was it? A strapper, - no a stretcher! It was stiff and uncomfortable. The lights above him seemed to flicked, and then they burst with colors. And then the bugs came. Crawling out of the lights, and every crack, swarming toward him.

**Author's Note- So I hope you liked it! A welcome back present kind of for myself, it's been floating around for a while needed to get it down! But, uh, yeah. Read it, review it. LOVE IT!! Hope he isn't too ooc, but just watche my master plan is unfolding. Kudos to PhoenixSong4232 for helping me plot this out, and thus my friend this chapter is dedicated to you! WOOT WOOT! Be happy! **

Lauren


	11. A Breech in the System

"Well? What's wrong with him?" Sakura demanded of the intern, her emerald eyes boring into her victim's pale grey ones, possibly comparable to that of a fiery brand being pressed to a protesting cow's ass. Her foot tapped, antagonizing the moment, clearly stating that she didn't have an ounce of respect or hope for the intern.

"Ah- uhm, well other than the fact that he's obviously demented and delusional-" Sakura snorted and rolled her eyes. This girl was an idiot. "H-he had a panic attack!"

"And may we _elaborate _ on the fact that he is "delusional?" She spat the word out like it was poison and foul tasting on her tongue.

"He w-was talking about the bugs, and he said they were crawling out of the c-ceiling! Out of the lights and everything, he said they were going to get him." Her face was stricken; she looked like she was trying to hold back the current of tears that threatened to spill over.

"May I see the chart?" asked Sakura, her hand already outstretched. The girl nodded, and quickly handed her the desired paper, sniffing quietly as she trying to contain herself. Sakura heard the noise and quickly glanced up. She winced as it looked like the other woman had been slapped. "Oh- I- I'm sorry! I'm not having the best day and I just took it out on you... "

The intern nodded, sniffing once more when Sakura put an arm around her. "Did you ever think that maybe he was having hallucinations due to the fact he was having a panic attack and his brain was getting cut off from the oxygen? Gaara is not crazy, he's just... Gaara. He's not like the other patients he's just-..." Sakura sighed then ran her free hand through her hair. "Tell you what. I am going to record a session and you can hear it! I am going to take you under my wing!"

The young intern looked up at her, shocked and thankful. She nodded once before smiling a wavering smile.

Sakura glanced back at Gaara and the young intern's eyes followed. He was stirring but was still slowed down by the shot of Phenobarbital that he'd been given. It obviously wasn't by the girl because she looked terrified of him and wouldn't touch him even when he was sleeping or out cold.

"Alright, tomorrow after work I want you to meet me in Tsunade's office. You know where that is right?" asked Sakura calmly, her voice smooth and soft.

"Yeah. Will you tell her Vera Sumachi is coming to her office tomorrow so she doesn't flip out and kick me?" asked Vera in her odd way.

Sakura nodded and hopped down from the examination table where she and Vera had been sitting. They parted ways and Sakura rolled Gaara along, the stretcher groaning every so often when she went over a crack in the tiles.

As she pushed him she wondered if Konoha was really one of the best facilities in the country. If it was, why would Gaara's father have brought him here? Why treat his son so well since he obviously disliked him, all the more apparent by the way the man claimed Gaara killed his mother.

She mulled this over, trying to find some reason for this to fit, as she rode the elevator down a few floors to the second U-Level. She un-strapped him from the stretcher and covered him, tucking the blanket under the edges of the mattress and looped them through metal frame underneath. He would be able to get free and in the time that it took, she would be ready to face him.

She pored over the file once more, looking, searching for something- anything that would explain why Gaara was here. She studied the admission reports and looked for the court papers. There were none. She frowned. Whenever someone was admitted to a mental institution of this magnitude for crimes such as these there needed to be a court order to prove that he actually was mentally unsound. They would have needed a police medical examiner to ensure that he really was unaccountable for his actions and not just wild with anger. If he had been proven aware of his actions and intent, knowing full well what they would cause, he would've been sent to a juvenile detention center, not here. But there were no test results, he hadn't even gone to court, he was simply admitted. She searched for the name of his father, flipping through the thin pages almost frantically. Was there a chance that he hadn't even committed the crime, that he had instead spent the majority of his life in a mental institution where he didn't belong?

* * *

"What do you mean he doesn't have a court order to be here?!" roared Tsunade. Her eyes were wide as she ran her hands through her hair, pulling it at the same time. She let out a high pitched yell before punching the steel wall with such force it buckled. With a loud screech her fist pushed the wall to breaking point, stretching the whole thing and pulling it outward. Now there was a ragged hole in the wall, the metal peeling outward and curling in upon itself on the other side.

"He hasn't woke up yet, at least he hadn't when I was back there, but I think he has now. What do we do?"

"I don't know! I don't know..." Tsunade's skin was white, all color gone from her face and lips. She bit said lip, her teeth cutting through the soft tissue, blood rising in small stream. The woman looked on the verge of panic. "Eighteen years... Eighteen years? I- how could I not have noticed?"

"It doesn't matter Tsunade, we have to get to the bottom of this." Sakura was red with worry, her fists curled into balls, knuckles white and looking as if they would split free of the skin surrounding them at any second. Tsunade nodded and ran a shaky hand through her messy hair.

"Alright, I am going to need you to check the autopsy file, photos, notes, everything! Do whatever you have to do to get it, then when you figure anything out, call me! I want the crime scene photos as well. You may have to go to the police station to get those but... It's worth it right?"

Sakura nodded and took off down the hall, stopping short when she came to Gaara's cell. He was staring at the file, staring at the furious notes Sakura had scribbled on a piece of paper. She looked at the file in her hands and realized that she must have dropped it in her hurry to get to Tsunade. He stood in the middle of the room, his eyes quickly scanning and deciphering the furious curves, the jagged edges of the letters and words. He looked at the floor where the letter had obviously been, his breath coming in spurts. He nearly fell to the floor, his knees giving out. His right hand instinctively reaching behind him to stop him from cracking his head off of the floor.

"How...?" his speech was pained and sharp, his shallow breaths giving his voice a heightened edge of hysteria.

Sakura stepped forward to crouch down in front of him.

"Gaara, this is very important." She hooked a finger under his chin, pulling his face up to look at her. He jerked his head away and scuttled back on the floor, slamming into his bed.

"NO!" Sakura was confused for a minute. He should be happy they found this out.

"Did you do it?" her voice was soft, yet demanding.

"I-" he looked terrified for once, completely terrified with no trace of anger. His mouth shut, the thin line of his lips trembling, the muscles in his jaw twitching and rolling as he clenched and unclenched his teeth.

"Gaara! You have to tell me the truth!" Her face was pleading, the anger she'd been trying to repress all her life wakening with this outrageous event.

"I- I didn't -" his arms wrapped around his head. "Stop! STOP IT! I can't! He'll do it! He will!"

"Gaara he can't hurt you here, you're safe. I promise!" Gaara trembled, and he tried to burrow himself under his bed to get away from her and her prodding questions.

"Yes he can! You don't know what he's like!" His body was crammed into the small space, a space so small he shouldn't have been able to get under there.

"No Gaara." Her voice was firm and tainted with anger and yet…he found there was a hidden quality in there that he couldn't help but believe. He didn't move or even try to crawl out of under the bed. He couldn't.

"Now, come out from under there and talk to me." The boy let out a protestant gasp. He was still having a panic attack and in his curled up, crunched, and squashed position, he couldn't breathe at all.

"Can you get out?" asked Sakura, already tugging on his arm.

Gaara let out a panicked breath before beginning to gasp for more air. Sakura stood up for a second and then grabbed a corner of the bed frame and tugged as hard as she could.

"Tsunade! Where are you!" she yelled as she tugged, her voice straining with the effort. 'This guy is messed up. He'd rather be stuck in here he's so terrified of whoever hurt him like this. But then who wouldn't be...He'd rather be suffocating to death than think about facing him."

She gave another tug on the corner, trying to loosen it from the floor. When it didn't give at all she yanked the mattress off of the bed, flooding Gaara with light. She took hold of one of the many bars that supported the mattress and tugged hard. It gave a little and with newfound energy and strength she pulled the bar back just an inch as Tsunade burst in, having heard the gut wrenching squelch the bar made.

She sucked in a breath and then tugged on the edge of the bed where Sakura had tried earlier. It took one good hard tug with all her strength to pull the bed from the floor and Sakura quickly pulled Gaara from beneath it, the boy awkwardly trying to move after her and get out of there.

She gently let his head rest on the floor as he took in the air, his eyes closed. The black rims of his eyelids were swollen from lack of sleep over a prolonged period, while the rest of the skin around his eyes was purplish black, a sure sign of his extreme insomnia.

She didn't know exactly what his father had done but... Whatever it was had screwed Gaara up so bad he couldn't escape him at any hour of the day... She walked out of the room, down the hall, up the stairs, and into the pharmacy that the Mental Institute was proud to have. She scanned the shelves and finally found what she was looking for. She grabbed the bottle before walking calmly back down the hall.

Sakura checked the watch on her wrist coolly. She sighed and dropped her arm. 8:32... She'd spent hours on that file and the day was already gone. The young woman had missed lunch and dinner... She glanced to her left absently as she walked quickly down the hall, jumping when she saw Vera sitting at the desk, leaning over some paper work, her hand moving rapidly as she wrote.

"Looks like someone else is working late," remarked Sakura, bemused. She grimaced when Vera jumped in a startled response, spilling her cup of coffee all over her paperwork. "Oh! I am so sorry!" yelped Sakura.

Vera nervously peeked out from under her hair, clearly unsure of what to do. She grabbed a bed sheet and started to mop up the mess as best she could, sighing when she realized there was no hope before flopping down in her chair.

"Well, at least I put the rest of it away. I only ruined about twenty sheets. I had a few more out before but... I put them away a while ago."

"I'm _so sorry!_" breathed Sakura. "We might be able to fix this!"

She started mopping up the wet material and paused when she read what it entailed.

"Is this true? Did it really happen?" she asked curiously.

"Yes, I am doing a report on it. I'm still in medical school, taking night classes. I want to be a psychologist, so I can help people." Vera sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was a red brown color, sleek and straight. She had pulled it into a pony-tail but a few strands had broken free.

"So where did you get the idea for it?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Well, the professor wanted us to write an in-depth essay on the workings of Tsunade, or a specific case that she had done. I decided to take a different more indirect route, an extension of what the mind is capable of when pressured, and then the pressure is released. How they move on." Vera paused to take a breath before continuing on.

"I focused on the siblings of the effected and how they in turn were affected by it. It wasn't exactly Tsunade's work, but it got me interested. They sent social workers to check on them each time and it was odd. I don't even know if they are alive now, but it's possible. I mean it's a fairly recent case and the police station gave me the revised version of the police file. You know-no names or anything to protect the patient and the family."

Sakura flipped open the file, and picked up the pictures. It was a family photo. There were five of them, two adults and three children. There was a tall man with brown hair and broody features, handsome. He had something fierce about him that scared Sakura. The mother was soft looking with warm round cheeks. The little girl to the far right had blonde hair and an outrageous hair do, a double set of pigtails. The boy next to her looked a lot like his father, brown hair and brooding, yet he looked a lot more hopeful. A little less... mean. He had certain innocence about him, the playful child demeanor and yet… All of their smiles were off, some cheap shot at a happy family photo when they so obviously were not. The little boy next to him she recognized immediately. His eyes had lighter lines then, though the same breath-taking blue of his eyes were still there. His father's hand was on his shoulder, squeezing in what looked to be a punishing manner; you could see that his fingers were squeezing so tight they were digging into Gaara's shoulder. Gaara obviously would have bruises in the morning.But even so Gaara had tried to smile the best he could. She sighed, both in relief and disbelief that this could ever happen.

"You don't how much effort you have saved me. Now all I have to do is go down to the station. If they gave _this _to _you, _ they should have no problem handing me the real file." Sakura sighed before handing the file back to Vera.

"What do you mean?" asked Vera suspiciously.

"I'll explain it later. Right now I need to get Ga- my patient to sleep. Insomniac- you know how that goes." Sakura was getting too used to saying his name. She really needed something else to focus on and Vera was going to be that patient even though she was a co-worker. She decided that Vera was going to be her new best friend until she finished this case.

Sakura smiled and bade good bye before practically running down the hall. She had a lot of work to do and a little amount of time in which to do it.

**Author's Note- I worked my butt off on this! So criticism is not appreciated! HAPPY LOVING REVIEWS! I WANT MORE OF THOSE! Please? Pwetty pwease? With a sugarwy cherwy on tawp? Anyway I hope you liked it! P.S. I start eighth grade on Tuesday pray for me!**

Lauren


	12. Books, Blankies , and Teddy Bears

Here Gaara," said Sakura, handing Gaara a glass of water before putting the pills in the palm of his open hand.

"What are they?" asked Gaara looking up at her.

"Lorazepam is the generic name, but this is a brand name prescription for Ativan. Ativan will help you sleep and help your anxiety. After taking them you won't have nightmares any more." Sakura closed his fingers around the pills.

"But-" the words she just said seemed to slap him across the face. "I never told you that! H-"

"You didn't have to. If you were scared enough to rather be stuck in here then face your fa-" The look on Gaara's face stopped her short. It was that of immense fear, though he surprised her when he let out a sigh of relief. He set the glass of water and the pills on the little stand that was nailed to the floor beside his bed.

He let out a low chuckle, his face still a vision of panic. He tried to stifle his laughter, reducing it to snickers and snorts but it was no use. The laughter erupted from his throat, screwing up his face and shaking his body in the process. His eyes were squeezed shut and his face was thrown into a formation that didn't look angry or scared at all. It looked - Sakura took a double take- humored... He was beside himself with laughter, rolling back onto the bed his laughter shaking the bed.

Sakura had moved him to the U-1 Level and she was starting to wonder if it was such a good idea.

"Gaara, what the hell is so funny?" she asked worriedly.

"Don't you get it?" he laughed out.

"What? _Get what_?"

"It doesn't matter!" he stopped laughing, his back resting on the bed as he stared blankly at the ceiling. "He might as well have killed me a long time ago. He can't do any more damage could he?"

"Hn. I guess he couldn't..." said Sakura uncertainly.

"I-" Gaara cut off nervously. "But- I-" He trailed off as reality hit him.

"What Gaara?"

"I'm - sc- I don't want-" He broke off, his face closing in on itself. He stared upward at the ceiling seeing nothing yet seeing something Sakura couldn't see. His eyes only moved in the slightest of motions, like he was watching a television and studying the different parts of the screen.

"Gaara, it's not like this is going to happen tomorrow. It's going to take time and you are going to have to work at it," Sakura said, almost sitting down next to him but thinking better of it.

"I don't care. Sit," said Gaara, throwing his arms up in defeat. Sakura sat, just to humor him and to let him know she was on his side. "Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!" He slammed his fist down on the bed, causing the whole thing to jiggle.

"If you want I can get you a bodyguard or something?" asked Sakura uncertainly.

"Just what I need, someone else who thinks I'm a nut job! I don't need anyone else staring at me like I'm some circus attraction!"

"Well..." Sakura trailed of at a loss for words, unsure of what to do with herself. "You wanna go for a walk?"

"What?" asked Gaara, his eyes sliding over to her, his face unmoving.

"A walk. Don't you ever get out of your room to go for a walk? Just to walk around?" She looked taken aback when Gaara broke into another bout of laughter, though this time it was spiteful and bitter.

"You think I ever get of here? I was put here to be kept out of sight, so no one could hear what I have to say! You think they are just going to let me out of this- this prison? I'm a murderer, I killed people-!" His voice took on a high tittering tone, mocking Sakura's. "You wanna go for a walk? We could stop and I'll watch as you get the shit beat out of you by the security." His voice dropped back to his lower, normal tone. "Right, lady. I'm such an angel they keep me locked up to stop me from making everyone else feel inadequate."

In that moment Sakura forgot that she was the doctor and he was a patient, and she exploded on him.

"Who the hell do you think are? I am here trying to help _you _ out and what do you do? You laugh in my face, you-" she ran a hand through her hair and turned away. Gaara stared at her, his face a mix of shock, hurt, and anger. "Why do you do this?" Her voice was angry, but not as volatile as before.

"Why do _you _ do this?" he asked back angrily. "You think you're better than me, that you are a better person because you have a _certificate _ that says you are- but you're _not. _ You are just like me! From that fake smile to the perfect hair. You're angry and you're hurt- at least I admit it!" He stood up quickly from his bed, and pointed at her. "I think you need to leave. I can't- just get out!"

Sakura stood there for a moment and then took a step toward the stand, pushing the pills back from the edge so they didn't get lost. After this was complete, she turned and left. Gaara stared after her angrily before slamming the door behind her, cursing when he realized she had left it open so he could get out and take a walk.

Gaara scowled and flopped down on his bed, only lying for a few moments before getting up to look through his box of possessions. He pulled out the shirt he had been admitted in when he was six and pulled it to himself, remembering when his Momma had first given it to him. It didn't fit him anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to throw it away.

Gaara brought the shirt to his face; inhaling its scent. It smelled more like his mother than it did him, still smelling strongly of her shampoo. He'd held her in the last seconds of her life, the blood staining his clothing. He pushed the thought from his mind, burying it somewhere deep. It settled somewhere in his stomach, right around his guts, twisting them painfully. It weighed him down, threatening to fell him. He inhaled one last time before folding it and setting it gingerly on the table. He stared at the shirt for a single moment, and then started to go through the box again.

After a long while he had sorted through almost everything, but there were still some items to be put away. He had organized all his trinkets, putting everything where it belonged, giving each and every item a moment of wistful remembrance.

Near the bottom of the box, his fingers brushed a soft smooth fabric, and his breath caught. His fingers wrapped around the fabric, and tugged, his eyes closed. It gave a little, and he tugged once more. It came free, and he opened his eyes to look at it.

Blankie! He wrapped it around himself remembering how it had kept him warm in the early nights here at the Institute and warded off the bad dreams. But long ago it had been taken away from him when he had been deemed to old to have a blanket, a year later he had been moved to the U-Level, and then another year later to the second U-Level. He hadn't been allowed to have more than one item in his room at once, at least, not until recently. He had to admit, Sakura really had helped him there.

He folded the blanket and set it on his bed. After doing so, the boy began to dig through the large box searching for Ai, wondering where in the world he'd gone and if he was even still in there. He let out a breath of relief when he saw him. His poor teddy bear was falling apart but not completely ruined. The eye, a button with a little black stone fitted to it, was falling off while the other eye was white because it was the only stone small enough to fit on the button.

It is said that love was half blind, but he didn't laugh at the joke he'd been told so long ago. He never really laughed. The stitching was coming undone on the sides of the belly as the well. Temari had made this for him when he wa younger, almost a year before he came here. She had a natural talent for sewing. His mother hadn't known how to sew back then, but she would learn. Gaara set it on his bed next to his pillow, all the while eying the glass of water and the pills Sakura had left him. He was debating on whether or not he should take them.

He meticulously organized and put all the other things away. In here, there was not much he could control. It must have been a subconscious thing. He was actually a very messy man, but he needed to have some sort of control of the situation. It made him feel less like a failure to have completed something.

With a sigh he pulled off the scratchy institute-issued shirt and then settled down on the old bed. His toes curled as it groaned and squealed, almost as though it was screaming in protest at the fact of being lain on. Every time he moved in the slightest the bed screamed in protest, bemoaning its injustice. With a sigh of fury he reached up and grabbed the pills from his nightstand and swallowed them, following them up with the glass of now lukewarm water.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling counting tiles, his teddy bear safe in his arms and his blanket protecting him from the evil in his dreams. He grew more and more excited at the prospect of Sakura's words. They rang out in his head, like a metronome to which he could fall asleep. No nightmares, no nightmares, no nightmares. It soon faded and the sound of his own pulse filled his ears, slow and steady. With a grimace he noticed he had left the light on. He tried to sit up but he was already too far gone to get up and turn it off. He was too tired. He resigned himself to rolling over onto his side, his blanket wrapped around him.

It seemed like only seconds later that the black enveloped him, and he knew not of his dreams.

* * *

Sakura unlocked his door, and crept quietly inside; she had seen in the window that he was sleeping. She slipped in before the door could open wide enough to give off a loud squeak. He was stirring slightly, rolling over onto his back and then returning to his side in the fetal position, curling around an object she couldn't see.

Sakura crept closer, her shoes in hand, to gaze into the opening between his arms where he held the foreign object. She realized with an odd pang of jealousy that it was a teddy bear. But, then she shrugged. To each his own, Sakura mused.

* * *

He hadn't woken all day, though Sakura had known that the medicine had worn off hours ago. She hadn't even given him that much. She didn't leave the room for fear of waking him, not even to get herself lunch or dinner. What was a day without food for a day of precious sleep for Gaara?

She had, however, gotten the police before she had come here, spending the day going over notes and reanalyzing the material. Tsunade had actually gotten it for her, Sakura didn't ask how,she knew Tsunade might have done something unmoral or even illegal, but nonetheless the young woman had spent the day working on it.

Nothing added up. According to the angles and calculations of the coroner that had done the autopsy, and given Gaara's approximate height and size at the time, there was no way he could have done it.

Even _if _ he had jumped off of something, he would still not have been able to. For one he was too small, and too short to have anywhere near the amount of force to have shoved the knife into her chest. And for another matter, if she had been lying down when he killed her, as the autopsy so vaguely suggested, the knife would have been thrust vertically into her chest,or rather horizontally if she was standing. Not to mention the fact that, again, he didn't have the strength to force a knife through her ribs and deep into her lungs, cutting and tearing the veins and arteries from the heart.

There were already unexplained cuts and contusions on her battered torso. Some were apparently older than others.

Gaara had been covered in them as well, more so than his mother, and it was reported that he had a nasty self inflicted wound on his head. There was a picture but his head had been too bloody to see it properly. She frowned, wondering how on earth she hadn't seen it. She tiptoed over to him, and leaned over him precariously. He was far back on the bed and she had to stretch to reach his face. She brushed the hair from his forehead with a gentle finger. The scar was a prominent red brown in kanji Japanese. Ai.

Her fingers unconsciously brushed against it, noting that the old wounds had been engraved into his flesh with a sharp object. She traced one of the lines with her index finger, deep in thought. The sharp object had obviously been pushed very hard into his skin, almost to the bone. And yet they were straight and precise. She traced a different, broader line. Gaara's hand snapped up and forced her hand away and only then did she realize she had even been touching him, a big no no in his book. She watched him, her mouth agape with both surprise and disgust. Gaara furiously smoothed his hair down over it, his fingers raking violently through his bangs even long after they were back in place.

"Wha- did you do that?" asked Sakura quickly.

"_No_," spat Gaara, his lip curling back over his teeth which were tinted red. Sakura noticed the deep line in his lip where the teeth had sliced through it.

"Who did?" her voice was almost angry, but he knew that it wasn't directed at him for she already knew the answer.

He didn't answer, but resolved to glare at her and say nothing. Sakura's mouth snapped shut and she wheeled around to turn away from him.

She almost looked like a statue from the back but for her heavy breathing.

"Are you hungry?" she asked quietly, not turning around.

Gaara squirmed uncomfortably, rubbing his tired aching eyes.

"Would you like to try something new?" her voice was louder and steadier.

When Gaara didn't answer she turned around to look at him. His eyes darted to and fro, trying to escape having to answer her directly. He studied her body language and the tone of her voice, as well as the lines in her face. He didn't know if it was a good idea to talk to her right now.

"What do you want? If you don't tell me, I can't help you!" Her voice was harsh, and frustrated, the anger seeping through once more.

He shrank back into the wall and Sakura stepped backwards, realizing she wasn't doing either of them a favor.

"I'm sorry." she said flatly. "I'm hungry. I've been stuck in here all day. "

"Why?" the blanket was wrapped around him again, the teddy bear protectively creased in his arms.

"The door is loud, it would've woken you." She sat back down at the little desk, closing the file.

Gaara's mouth opened and shut like a fish gasping for water. He didn't remember how to say thank you, it had been such a long time. When the words didn't come out he shut his mouth.

"So, you can decide what we eat now. What would you like?"

Now was his chance at some sort of apology, cooperating was a start right?

"I- hn." He was thinking. "Spicy. Something hot and spicy." The corners of his mouth twitched as he thought about it.

Sakura repressed a smile. Finally progress. This isn't so hard, getting him to talk... He just needs some incentive.


	13. Human

Gaara didn't choke or hiss at the hotness of the food like Sakura did. He ate it slowly, chewing forever. The spicy stir fry seemed a waste to Sakura, who thought the hotness of it ruined the flavor, but she didn't mind completely.

The fact that Gaara raised an occasional hand to his lips to feel the burning tingle remained unspoken. The secret was yet another of their secrets that seemed to be compiling on top of one another over time.

She pulled a bottle of Tums from her purse and set it on the table. Gaara's fingers turned the bottle, his eyes quickly reading the back. His hand withdrew and he glanced down at his lap. His hands were odd looking in his eyes but Sakura fond them oddly beautiful, like those of a pianist. The palms were squared off and lined deeply, the fingers stretched out long and delicate, the nails wile and broad on the narrow fingers. They too were squared off, yet naturally more rounded than most nails.

Gaara felt her gaze and his fingers curled in on themselves, much like a flower wilting.

"Tomorrow I am going to bring you something. Do you know what a camera is?" Her eyes studied his face, watching as he swallowed a particularly large bite, his Adam's apple jumping a little.

The movement was ever so slight, as if the acknowledgment that he didn't know would be counted against him as a failure.

"It might be a little scary at first, but I think you'll have a lot of fun. It's just like a mirror, except you can save the pictures and look at them whenever you want." Another bite, another jump. The muscles and veins in his neck twitched and rolled as he cracked his neck.

"I'm going to appeal to the Medical Board about getting you completely out of the U-levels. Once we get that sorted out we can get you out of here completely." Gaara closed off his features, rising from the table in the middle of his room. It was a folding table with matching folding chairs.

He wandered toward his bed, staring at it a moment then lying down. He didn't look at her but instead at the ceiling.

"When I was little," mused Sakura, "I would imagine that behind each tile was a different world that I could escape to."

Gaara's eyes slid from the ceiling to her face before studying the happy yet sad quality of it.

"What were you escaping from?" his voice hadn't changed, the smooth yet somehow rough intriguing quality hanging in the air.

"Well, I guess it's only fair," Sakura sighed, "since you answer all of my questions."

"Come on, then." said Gaara impatiently and Sakura rolled her eyes. The sleepiness was coming back to him but we was trying to avoid it.

"My parents. My father was a freak. Schizophrenia out the wazoo. That's why I got into this type of medicine, to try to save him. My Ma, she just thought it was from the drugs, but I guess it could've been either that got him admitted to the Institute." Gaara looked up nervously.

'Is he here?'

"My mom she's a- she's just crazy. Ever since my father got admitted- to the-" Sakura held up a hand as if to gesture to the institute. "She committed suicide a few years back."

"How?" asked Gaara bluntly.

"Boy, you really don't beat around the bush, do you?" Gaara gave her a puzzled look, and she realized he'd never heard the expression before. She continued. "Okay, we were visiting father and he and I were outside strolling along. She went back inside, saying she forgot her purse, and when she didn't come right back we walked in to see if she was okay." Gaara almost knew what was coming, he could feel it and he wanted her to stop, but he couldn't bring himself to ask.

"She jumped off the roof. The roof! Who does that anymore?" joked Sakura weakly. "She landed two feet from me. Her head was ripped off when she hit the roof, and then she hit the ground in front of me. Her head just rolled around, and it stopped when it hit my foot." She looked faraway, as though she was watching it over again in her mind. "I took off, just kept running and running. After awhile I just went into a whiteout faze. I kept running and I didn't see a thing. Then I passed out somewhere in between here and Suna." She was trailing off, her voice growing smaller and smaller, her face further and further away.

Gaara rolled onto his side, staring at the wall. He waited awhile until Sakura gave in and handed him his medicine and a glass of water.

A knock on the door interrupted their transaction and Sakura dropped the pills into his hands. He downed them and took a cup of water while Sakura answered the door. She shut it but it bounced open, leaving a slight crack in it.

Vera stood nervously in front of her, her weight shifting from foot to foot anxiously.

"What's up?" asked Sakura lightly.

"I need to talk to you." She glanced at Gaara in the window. "Can he hear us?"

"I doubt it." snorted Sakura. "These are three inch thick solid steel walls!"

"Are you sure- I need to speak to you alone."

"He can't- and anything-"

"He won't want to hear it- trust me!" Sakura nodded and they stepped a few feet down the hall.

"Okay, now what is so important?" asked Sakura quickly.

"I was running some tests; you know to help you get Gaara off the U-Levels right?" Sakura nodded suspiciously. "So I ran some tests to see if there was any chance that mental illnesses ran in the family, and..." She trailed off nervously.

"Spit it out, you're making me nervous!" rushed Sakura.

"I ran all the customary tests and I found out something." She handed Sakura a bunch of pictures.

"You mean- did you double check these?"

"Yes I triple checked! I even checked to see if either parent was a match, and neither was! Gaara is not biologically their child. I called all the agencies around where they lived, _and _even sent them a picture of him when he was a baby and when he was admitted. That way they can check through their files. They should have a social worker on his case, if he was adopted, and then we can find his family. It seems the Sabaku's have moved from Suna. That's all we know for now."

Sakura stared at her, taking it all in stride. She didn't even know what to say. How was she going to tell Gaara?

"I-- no...It'll kill him! I can't tell him that!" Sakura leaned against the wall with a loud thump.

* * *

Gaara lay listening on his bed, to tired already to do much else. By the time he was done listening, he was unsure of what to do. Jump for joy because he hadn't really lost his mother, or sob because it was true. Every single thing in his life really was a lie. His father had been right. He was a failure. Such a failure his own Mom hadn't even wanted him. He had been given away like yesterdays trash and taken home by someone who didn't even want him.

* * *

When Sakura went to open Gaara's door, she saw it was already open, and she froze. Had he heard?

She rushed through the door, and then looked sideways to see if he was sleeping. She sighed with relief when she saw that his eyes were closed.

She sat down in her chair and stared at him, wondering what and how she was going to tell him. She turned her head sideways. His breathing was off. It looked like he was holding his breath. She stared a moment longer and watched as he took a quick rough breath. His face was pained, he wasn't even sleeping. Her face fell and she realized that he had heard. His lips parted as he breathed out in a silent huff.

"Gaara?" she tested cautiously.

His face turned to her and his eyes opened. A single tear escaped.

The robot, the bogeyman, the freak, the soulless monster, the monotone, the empty closet, the waste of space, the demon, the dead man walking, blank slate. The doctors and patients had many names for his seemingly soulless personality and yet, here he was crying. He _had _a soul. She stepped forward, and reached out to comfort him. He pressed himself back into the wall, trying to escape her.

"You did this! Everything was fine-" he took a ragged breath inward-"Before you showed up! It's not fair!" Sakura sat down and wrapped her arms around him, mostly in effort to keep him from getting up and throwing things around as he usually did. The other twenty five percent of the awkward bear hug felt sorry for him, a deep empathy. Losing a mother was somehow worse than losing her father. She might have been a crazy lunatic, but she had given birth to her, and before her father had been admitted, she'd held Sakura when she'd cried.

He tried to punch her and push away the best he could but he was too busy crying, and being dragged down by the drugs to fight back for long. He fell asleep, his face still flushed, and Sakura gingerly set his head back on his pillow before covering him up with his blanket. It obviously had sentimental value to him. She tucked Ai into his arms, and covered them back up again. His hair stuck up in odd angles, his scar visible. She smoothed down his hair, covering it back up.

And then she left, quietly shutting the door behind her, ending a chapter in many lives, and starting many new ones. She was going to get to the bottom of this endless pile of shit, to avoid piling anything else on it before it crashed down around them.

**Author's Note- I know you people are saying Gaara is too soft in some chapters, but dammit! He is GOING to cry! I want this way, so don't give me crap! He is just perfect! Wouldn't you be crying right now? His WHOLE FRIEKING LIFE IS A LIE! Sorry, I got a little upset when people say he is OOC. But I think this is natural, so... XD Read it, Review it, Love it, and enjoy it!**

Lauren

**P.S. Special Editing Props to a miss PhoenixSong4232 YAY! I am so happy you do this for me! I couldn't wait to post this and you were nice and understanding to my persistant requests. THANKS!! A round of applause for her don't you think?  
**


	14. Hoot and Holler

Sakura pulled into the drive of the large house, taking in it's odd foreboding. It was a perfectly fine house, the cactus garden was perfectly normal. Even the house color was normal, and the shutters didn't look like they were going to fly off the wall and beat her death. And yet, she was terrified.

She walked up the perfect sidewalk, and stepped onto the spotless porch. A porcelain dog stared up at her, it's fake mouth curled back into a dog-ish smile and it's tongue hanging out. There wasn't a scuff or a scratch anywhere, on anything. She found this a remarkable feet, and yet she found herself repulsed.

It was inhuman. Sakura wondered to herself if they cleaned the dirt. She knocked on the door. She was debating the possibility of this as she waited. The sand in the cactus garden did look a little cleaner, and darker. The rush of cool air on her hot face alerted her that the door had opened.

An immaculately dressed young woman opened the door, and looked her up and down. "May I help you?" Her voice had a certain roughness to it, the only thing that Sakura felt she could trust about this place. Everythign was so perfect, and her voice was just off enough to almost qualify her as normal.

"Uhm, y-yes." started Sakura. "May I come in? It may take a while to explain the whole situation."

"You're not a saleswoman are you? I thought I told them to stop coming here!" said the blonde angrily.

"No- no! I'm not a saleswoman!" Man, thought Sakura. This lady is scarier than Gaara! " It's about your brother."

"Kankuro? What did he do now?" the girls tone was exasperated.

"Not him. Gaara." Sakura got exactly the opposite reaction she'd expected.

The door slammed in her face. She heard loud stomping, and the clacking of heals, then a loud thump and the sound of breaking glass. She backed away when she heard loud voices, the sound of two males and a female.

She was halfway down the walk, and her knees were trembling. She'd never had to face anything like this. She'd rather spend all day with Gaara on a rampage then have to do this again.

"Wait!" It was a male voice, low and rough.

Sakura turned slowly, and he was already jogging down the walk. " Please. We just haven't heard from anyone in such a long time! They wouldn't tell us anything!"

"What do you care? You haven't come to see him in years!" Said Sakura accusingly.

"Only because they never returned our calls when we tried to set up visiting dates!" he said back angrily. " So _don't _say I don't care! We have tried for years to get back in touch, and they won't let us see him. They said they moved him to another faci-"

"What? He's at the same place! Who told you that?" asked Sakura quickly.

"Hang on we have his card." said the tall man. He motioned for her to follow, and he took up a brisk pace and started back to the house. Sakura had to jog a little bit to keep up with his long strides, her heels clacking with low claps on the smooth concrete.

"Temari, where is that guy's card?"

"Who's card, Kankuro?" Her voice was soggy, and her face red with swollen eyes.

"The one that the guy from the place gave us! The one who said Gaara was moved!" Temari rushed to him trying to help him find it, and Sakura had a chance to look around the inside of the house.

"How long have you lived here?" asked Sakura absently.

"Since we were little, it used to be our mother and father's house, but he moved out a few years back." Temari's voice sounded strained, as though she was about to cry again.

"So,Gaara lived here as well?" Sakura's voice was interested.

"Yeah." Kankuro said shortly. "Up the stairs the third door on the left. Feel free to explore."

"So she's the doctor?" dragged a lazy voice.

"Yes, she is. What did you say your name was?" asked Temari , her voice gaining composure.

"Nara Shikamaru." he drawled slowly, extending his hand. Sakura shook his hand.

"Not to be rude, but what connection do you have with the family?" asked Sakura curiously.

"I'm-"

"He's Temari's fiance." rushed Kankuro.

"You mean, you don't mind anymore?" asked Temari, a small smile on her face.

"No..." breathed Kankuro.

"I am going to go check out his room, okay?" Asked Sakura tentatively.

"Sure." said Temari, smiling a congenial smile. " Anything to help Gaara. Take whatever you need. Check out the whole house if you need to!" Shikamaru wrapped his arms around her, each hand giving her arms a squeeze.

Sakura nodded and started up the soft padded stairs. There were many pictures on the walls , but only a few containing Gaara and his family. The house wasn't as perfect on the inside as it was on the outside. There were some brown spotty stains on the carpet that look suspiciously like blood. Sakura stopped and cut a small piece of carpet fragment and put it in a small envelope, about the size of a case of floss.

She walked down the hall slowly, shoes in hand. She didn't want to mess up their carpet.

She opened the door to Gaara's room, and blinked . She couldn't see a thing. She flipped the light switch, and light flooded the room.

The bed was still only roughly made as it had been in the pictures from the crime seen, the blood spatters still in the same place. She roamed around the room, exploring and checking and looking at everything. She was surprised when she pulled back the covers of Gaara's bed and saw that it was covered in large splotches of blood, all of which had been hidden by the comforter in the picture. Sakura pulled the sheet off the bed, and set it , along with comforter, by the door.

* * *

Gaara was a pain to handle the whole day. The room was destroyed only an hour after he had woken up, and Sakura had had to threaten to give him medication. He gave an involuntary shudder, and Tsunade told him that if he was good for an hour she would bring him some paints , a canvas, and all the other necessary things needed to paint. He settled down just a little bit after that. If he could paint, he wouldn't have to think about it.

Tsunade had cried when Sakura had told her what happened over the phone on her drive over to the Sabaku household. It was nearly a day's drive away. But, now Tsunade wanted to choke the life of Gaara, he was driving her up the wall with his antics. He had gotten loose and tried to run down the hall as he hollered and waved his shirt above his head like a lunatic, causing all the male residents to hoot and holler, and the females to whistle and cat call, cheering him on. He made it up three floors,and the nurses and security officials looked mighty stupid chasing after him. The residents and patients all booed when he was halled off in handcuffs back to his cell, and at some point , on one of the upper levels they had started throwing things at the guards.

For once in his life they were cheering for him, not jeering. And he liked it, though he would never admit it. He was going to do this again. As soon as possible.

* * *

Sakura was driving back the twisting , winding rodes, Tsunade's car nearly packed full of people and evidence.

Everyone was loud and roudy, and she had a growing migraine approaching. She put two fingers to the bridge of her nose, squeezing. Sakura turned up the radio, the music blasting. Everyone else flinched, and they immediately quieted down.

"Sorry!" mouthed Temari, her face twisted with the discomfort she caused her. Sakura had noticed early that she seemed to have a major guilt trip, and this confirmed it. She was taking them to see Gaara, as they hadn't seen him in a long time. She wondered if he was going to freak. She hadn't asked Temari yet, but Kankuro had said that Gaara was his brother. He told her the date of birth, and showed her the birth certificate.

The music blared in the car still, Sakura loved this song. Rollin, rollin', rollin'!

Ah, she hadn't heard Limp Bizkit in a while. She smiled. She had still forgotten to show Gaara what a camera was. She'd let him take pictures with his family if he wanted to. She thought he might want to do that. She glanced in the mirror behind her. Kankuro and Shikamaru bobbed their heads in silence, Kankuro playing some kind of video game like a buff over sized child, and Shikamaru filling in some kind of blue print, an immensely bored expression riddling his features as he worked. Sakura caught a glimpse of the work that was literally flying off his fingertips- amazed. It was hard math, it would've taken her hours to do half the work he did in four minutes. She glanced over at Temari who stared out the window, her face blank and withdrawn, deep in thought.

She glanced back at Kankuro, who seemed to be growing angrier at the game by the second. He punched the buttons harder and harder, his face creasing, his eyebrows furrowing. Finally he snapped it shut, and tossed it down on the seat,and stared out the window sulking.

Maybe Gaara wasn't the only one with problems.

**Author's Note- Alright yet another chapter. Expect a montage in the next chapter! OH BOY. Don't be hatin'!**


	15. Scarred

Gaar"Where are we going?" grumbled Gaara , his eyes hidden by a handkerchief. How she had duped him into this he would never remember.

Sakura paused as they came to a door, Gaara growling impatiently as she took her time opening it. With a low groan and a dull crack it opened to it's full swing potential. Sakura gave Gaara a little push and he stumbled inside. She grabbed the back of his shirt, presumably by him to keep him from hitting anything.

"Surprise!" A female's voice rang out.

"Yo." Grunted a young male's voice rang out.

"'Sup short stuff." A second male voice.

Gaara's face scrunched up as he tried to remember where he had heard that before.

"Come on , do you mean you can't remember?" Teased the second voice. " What kind of-"

"What kind of brother are you?" Spat Gaara, his non-existent brows pulling together in cold fury. " I haven't seen you in years and all the sudden you just pop up out of the blue?"

"Gaara! We couldn't! We-"

"What? What demanded that you stop coming?" Gaara wrenched free of Sakura's grip. "You just wanted me to rot in here, and you figured if you forgot about me you wouldn't have to know what you did!" Gaara whirled around, kicking aside a chair, sending it flying into the glass of the interrogation room, shattering it.

Sakura stood frozen in shock as he stormed away, the information sinking in.

"_What did you do to him?" _She demanded, slamming the door shut.

" But what about-" Started Temari.

"What about him? Security will find him. And if they don't, he escapes. What's the big deal. He has no reason to be in here does he?" Sakura glared at them, her face wild with anger, and right at that moment she wanted to rip them apart. Just to watch them bleed and scream, and make them sorry.

"How-"

"It's amazing what _real_ love can do to people!" Interrupted Sakura.

"I've been working with him for over a month, and from the information I have gathered- you have one seriously fucked family."

"I- ..." Kankuro sighed. He glanced over at his sister who was trembling with some unknown emotion, who shook her head furiously no. " Temari we have to tell her. She's going to find out. "

"Alright..." murmured Temari, sinking into a chair. Shikamaru took a breath, thinking to himself ' That woman is damn lucky I love her. So troublesome...'

Kankuro sat down, letting on a breath.

"It's going to be his birthday in a few months isn't it?" he asked curiously, though it didn't seem like he was trying to put things off.

"Yes, in three months."

"Ah, that would explain why it's so damn cold. I thought it was me..." Kankuro shuddered nervously with cold, and then opened his mouth. " Alright, let's get this started."

* * *

**Yay! Montage Time! Behind Blue Eyes, a cover by Limp Bizkit**

No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
And no one knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be faded to telling only lies

He had hidden himself on the roof, watching the stars. He scowled internally as he old memories he thought he had buried long ago came to mind, and burrowed into the cold glass, his breath fogging it up when he exhaled. His eyes seemed to see nothing, yet everything.

But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscious seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
No one knows what its like

"Hold him still!" barked his father at his sister Temari, who was crying. Gaara thrashed wildly about, and he continued to struggle when Temari's hands pressed uncertainly against his shoulders. He tried to scream, but his father clapped a hand over his mouth, not wincing when Gaara bit down on his palm. "HOLD.HIM.STILL." yelled his Father, striking Temari across the face.  
To feel these feelings  
Like i do, and i blame you!  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain woe  
Can show through

Gaara struggled, landing a kick on his Father's leg, and he recieved a swift slap across the face with the hand his father had been using to keep his mouth shut. The hand was back in place before he could even think to scream.Tear stung in his eyes as a large red hand print appeared on his face. "Kankuro, help you're sister."

But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscious seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
No one knows what its like

Kankuro's hands were hesitant, but they applied the pressure. He pinned Gaara's legs with his own leg, and held Gaara's still, pushing them to the ground. "Daddy! No!" yelled Gaara when his father removed his hand to pull out his knife. He had threatened him before, but never...

No one knows what its like  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
Behind blue eyes  
No one know how to say  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
I'm not telling lies

Screams ripped the stillness of the town, and then it abruptly stopped. A hand had clapped over the mouth tired of hearing the sound. A muffled squeal of protest at each stroke of the knife was the only noise he made. Later he would try to tell the police his side of the story, but they never believed him. They said he was telling lies.

But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscious seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
No one knows what its like

Sakura had been the first thing in a long time to make him even remember these things, they had been buried so deep sometimes he forgot why he was even at the Institute. And if he couldn't come up with a good answer ,he'd just assume he _was_ crazy. Even though Sakura gave him love, he knew he'd never be good enough to reciprocate. Love cost him so much, he wasn't sure if was ready to be put through the same pain again.

She had been mystified by his blue eyes a long time before she even knew it, but in time she had come to realize the way that they sparkled just right with that mischievous glow.  
It wasn't evil as she had once thought, but a _very_ rough playfulness was there, and though it was harsh it was there.

No one knows what its like  
To be the bad man, to be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes

Gaara's eyes closed and opened, and he stared at the stars, his blue eyes reflecting the moon. He heard a slight scraping sound and looked over to the door at the top of the stairwell. It was slightly ajar, and Tsunade peered out at him, a sympathetic look written across her face. Gaara's face seemed to have been flushed , the emotion disappearing in one swift swirl disappearing down an emotional drain. Tsunade's face didn't falter, and she sat down next to him.

* * *

"Oh my god..." Sakura buried her face in her arms. " How could you do that to him?"

"They we kids, Sakura!" said Shikamaru angrily. "You wouldn't have done any different!"

"You don't know that! You have no idea who _I _am and what _I've _been through! You think you're the only people in the world to suffer? What about your brother? He's spent his whle life here in this - this - prison! For a crime he didn't commit? You tell me if this right! Cause I sure as hell can't!" She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to control her fury.

A loud sob burst forth from Temari, and Sakura felt like kicking herself. These people were just like patients. And she was being a terrible doctor.

"Look..." said Sakura, her voice sounding as though she were giving up. " I know you had a tough child hood, I did too. It's just that- I don't know. You never helped yourself! I got myself out of harms way, and did something with my life! Do you see what I mean?" She looked up at them, her face pleading for them to understand.

"Yeah. We get it." said Shikamaru dryly.

"Alright, well I am going to leave you to yourselves, and go find Gaara." said Sakura with a sigh. She stopped at the door. " I don't completely blame you. You're father is one sick bastard." Temari tried a small smile, her red eyes crinkling a little bit.

* * *

Gaara was leaned against the cool glass, watching the world go by. An owl hooted dully somewhere in the distance, obviously not too far away if he could here it in here. Tsunade had left a few minutes ago to go find Sakura, but she hadn't come back.He turned when he heard a scuffling sound, a sound he recognized to be Sakura. She was a scuffler, and Tsunade a dragger of the feet, producing a scraping sound.

Sakura smiled a little nervous smile, the apologetic body language apparent. Gaara drew back into a corner; she knew. He had planned on killing her long ago, but he had never been able to pull through with it. He really wished he had, because now _he_ might be the one that had a death sentence.

**Author's Note- Sorry it took so long! Was at my Dads, and you know no computer there! My bro let me on for Twenty minutes, but... OOOH! New Gaara look alike. The Panic!At the Disco Video, I write sins not tradgedies, his name is Daniel Isaac! GOOGLE it , don't yahoo it you won't find ANY pictures that way, only like one or two. SO YAY! **


	16. To Each the Key to the Other's Soul

Hey," whispered Sakura, tiptoeing closer.

"They told you didn't they?" he asked softly. "Did they tell you what he did?"

"Yeah," she sat down next him. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm wonderful. I'm a fucking modern marvel of science, just put me in a cage, and you can get people to pay money to come stare at me and take pictures." He drew an angry face in the glass, his fingers brushing quickly across the glass, curving in and out on the lines of the face. He pressed himself into the glass barrier, the coldness on his skin a reminder of how alive he actually he was.

"Why do you always put yourself down like that?" asked Sakura, her face channeling the confusion and questioning in her voice.

"Beating you to the punch; that way you can't get me when I least expect it." He picked up the hem of his shirt, fingering the fabric with his thumbnails.

"Who taught you that?" asked Sakura cautiously.

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?" he asked, the angry edge returning to his voice.

"Validation? I don't know." Sakura laughed. "My sister used to say the same thing. Ino'd tell me about her boyfriends, and I'd make her repeat them over and over again. Eventually she'd get mad, and ask me why I kept asking. Then she'd call me billboard brow, and I called her a pig! Ahh, good times." She flopped onto her back, her arms behind her head as she stared at the sky.

"What was it like, being normal?" he asked slowly, leaning back on his hands, his face turned down to look at her.

"Almost normal." corrected Sakura with a smile. "Not _too _ bad. Up until I was fifteen. I had a friend, a life, everything regular kids did; I just never wanted to go home. I usually spent the night at my sister and my best friend's house. She wasn't perfect, but she was better than our family."

"Oh." he sounded a bit disappointed, and he looked away, laying back to look up at the sky with her.

"She had this crush on some guy who got sent here after a while. He had P-t-s-d. He got out after a month or two, said he met some guy who turned him around. His name was Naruto." She glanced over at Gaara, her eyes narrowing in concern at the odd expression on his face.

"I knew him." he breathed.

"What?"

"He was my roommate..." Gaara's head was cocked to the side as he remembered. Sakura realized that whenever he was deep in thought he tilted his head to the side, usually the right when he was happy, and to the left when he upset. He had tilted his head to the left when she had confronted him that day in the interrogation room. She just hadn't noticed because he had been so constricted in the chair, and curled up. She remembered how he had painted with his head tilted to the right as he concentrated on his painting.

"So what about him? Did you know him well?" asked Sakura hopefully.

"Yeah... I think I got him out." The corners of Gaara's mouth turned upward, ever so slightly.

"Really? That's great! How did you-"

"I didn't really do that much. He told me what he thought he did wrong and I told him like it was. Anyone could've done it really." And yet, Gaara looked the happiest she had seen him in a long time.

"Well?" Gaara's head turned to look at her, his eyes confused. "What did you say?"

"He told me how he had been playing with matches one night when he was six and he couldn't sleep, and how the house had burned down. Something caught fire and he tried to get his Mom up, but she didn't get up. I asked him if she took a little pill before she went to sleep each night and he said yeah. I told him it didn't matter that he tried to wake her up, because the medicine would have held for another hour. There was no way he could've gotten her out of there. It's his Dad's fault for teaching him fire was this great wonderful thing." His face darkened. "Pyro."

"Wow. He never told anyone else that..."

"He told me that because I didn't ask. I hadn't spoken a word in over a month and he didn't think I would talk to anyone about him. You should've seen him when I asked if his Mom popped pills!" Gaara snickered in remembrance, than sighed. "In the next few days he was there, we kind of hung out. He was - he was like-"

"A friend?" offered Sakura, seeing him struggle.

"Yeah. The only one I ever had." He sighed and put his arms behind his head.

"Hey! What does that make me?" asked Sakura in mock anger.

"I don't know, you're not like him..." said Gaara roughly, looking away.

"Oh..." That wasn't the answer she had been expecting.

Gaara glanced at her and seeing her obvious discomfort, sheepishly changed the subject.

"If you look real close, there's Andromeda," he said raising his arm to point out the stars to her. She raised her hand as well, tracing them with him after a few moments of being unable to find it.

"I never was good at finding them by myself," murmured Sakura.

"Tsunade taught me," sighed Gaara. Sakura repressed a smile as he tilted his head to the right and studied the stars.

"Mhm." Sakura asked him if he knew where anymore were. "I swear they're hiding from me!"

Gaara sighed, a hn of bemused laughter leaving him. He glanced over at her, raising a non-existent brow. Sakura furrowed her brows in anger and pointed to the sky.

He pointed out many constellations to her, her excitement at finding each one a reward for the wait as she strained to see it. She had too much of an open mind to keep her eyes in one spot but she would always find one, and then smile at Gaara.

Sakura yawned, letting her arm drop, bumping into Gaara's. She almost seemed startled when his didn't move away until he realized what had happened. His cheeks reddened slightly, and he pulled his arm to his side, trying to root himself even further into the glass.

Sakura's cheeks had reddened, but she shrugged it off, forcing it back. She hadn't even realized the change in atmosphere, but suddenly she didn't mind. It was nice to finally be able to be the one to just sit back and relax instead of on the go-full of tension, always working her butt off for someone else. She had been apprehensive to take his case on, but now she could see it. She had been meant to find him, and help him. She knew that it shouldn't make sense to her that way, but it did. They were the only people compatible for one another. Like each held a key to the others soul, a key that only they had to scrape past the other's security, to worm their way into each others mind.

She might have been _his _ doctor, the one who was supposed to help him, but he was helping her just as much as she was helping him, maybe even more. She didn't know how exactly this was going to turn out, or why, but all she knew was it was right. It was where she wanted to be more than anywhere else.

**Author's Note- You all have been wanting a moment, so here it is. I hope you like it, and I hope you don't hate it! LOVE IT! I COMMAND YOU! Lol, jk, Anyway! love it enjoy it, read it review it! I try to update fast but I can only do so much!**


	17. So Cold

Sakura had, after the persistent insisting of Gaara, agreed to take the day off. It was late October, November was just around the hair-pin turn. She strolled idly along the road, back to Tsunade's. She had long since grown accustomed to living there in the month and a half since. Sakura was chilly in the knee length thin-flowy skirt, and a high necked sleeveless blouse. She hadn't thought to bring a jacket, because she had been driving in Tsunade's car. She hadn't thought she would get the day off, and suddenly she wished she hadn't.

"Why does it have to be so damn cold?" chattered Sakura under her breath. Her whole body had broken out in goose-bumps, and her lips had paled to an odd purplish pink. She rubbed her arms trying desperately to bring some warmth back into them, clinging onto what warmth, or little to none there of, that she had already had. Her feet were the only things that were even remotely warm at the moment. Her soft flats were almost like slippers with hard bottoms. The bottoms weren't that hard though, every time she stepped on a rock she could feel it pressing into her feet.

She broke into a run, a last ditch effort at staying warm, and she could have laughed for joy when her lungs started to warm up, her breath warming her mouth and nose somewhat. The only drawback was that the more she ran, the more she could feel her nose, and the more she felt her nose, the more it hurt.

She heard a car behind her, and she jogged off to the side of the road, and continued jogging. When the car continued to follow her, the slow crunching of gravel behind her alerting her to its presence, she looked over her should and saw that Ino was trailing her. Sakura let out a sigh of huge relief, and slowed to a walk.

"Why haven't you been returning my calls?" Yelled Ino angrily.

"What?" asked Sakura dubiously, her face confused.

"I've been calling you forever, and you never pickup!" said Ino, her voice strained, the large puffs of air from her mouth fogging her review mirror.

"Oh-OH! I left my phone at Sasuke's! I never thought to get it." It was more to herself than to Ino , but Ino had heard.

"Did something happen? You mean you guys broke up?" Ino looked genuinely concerned, and she was. Sakura had known her Twin had a crush on him, but she had never said anything about it because Ino had always denied it, for fear of hurting Sakura's feelings.

"Yeah, and he is on good. I dumped him, he's psycho. There is something seriously wrong with him." Ino could hear the fear and disgust in her sister's voice, and she seemed to leap back to reality.

"Get in, I'll drive you ho- wherever you're going." Said Ino with a smile. "I'm freezing my ass off and I'm the one in the car. Come on, you know what Mom would say."

"Yeah, " smiled Sakura, " A sick person is a worthless person!"

"No, " said Ino as Sakura walked numbly to the passenger door. "You need to get past those last two years. We used to be normal you know. It's not like Dad was like that all the time, and when he wasn't Mom was normal to!"

Sakura didn't say anything, but stared at her nails, realizing she had been neglecting them lately. The paint was chipped and almost all the way gone.

"She always used to say that 'When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and leave them wondering how you did it!' That always made us laugh, and cheered us up when we were sad, remember?" Ino laughed in spite of herself.

"Yeah..." her voice was full of happy remembrance, and a slight wonder. "Oooh, remember this one? Life's a bitch, then you go through menopause!" Sakura didn't even think the joke was that funny when she was a kid, but now, with her sister it seemed so much funnier.

"Why did we never get that one?" laughed Ino breathlessly, as she shifted the car into drive.

"I dunno!" Chortled Sakura, tears in her eyes.

The girls fell into silence, not an uncomfortable one, but a warm silence. It was the kind of cozy warm silence, when everyone is too tired or content to speak and ruin the moment.

After a while, Sakura gave direction, wincing at random intervals as her numb limbs began to wake up.

000000000

* * *

"So, what else has been keeping you busy?" asked Ino, twirling her hair subconsciously as she thought to herself. " You were totally spacing on me in the car."

"I was?" asked Sakura in a surprised manner. "And hey- like you're not now?"

"Yeah, I guess I am..." murmured Ino. "It's just- nah. You go first!" She smiled hopefully, and Sakura obliged.

"Well, I have been really bust at work., you know I have this one major case," Sakura cupped the warm cup of hot chocolate with both hands, and took a sip. "And this patient, well- he-"

"Oooh! It's a guy isn't it? That's been keep you sooo preoccupied?" Asked Ino excitedly.

"Well kinda, but not really in the way that you'd think..." Sakura took another sip, and told her everything, everything but the previous night's star watch. It had been innocent, in all truth, but she had a feeling her sister might read into it, but... She wasn't ready to admit it, that she might like him.

00000000

* * *

Tsunade never even thought about the fact that Sakura hadn't brought a coat, or that she would be so selfless as to walk the whole way back to the house. She only lived about ten miles down the road, and Sakura was in great shape, but still. And in the cold, it would be brutal. She bade goodbye to the intern she was working with, and told Vera to please get those statistics on a report for an elderly patient figured out.

She plopped down heavily into her car, and put the key in the ignition. Tsunade backed out of her parking space, and then drove out of the small parking lot, marveling at how far from society this place was. Sure there were a few houses and apartment complexes, of a very small magnitude mind you, but there wasn't really that much here. There was tops a thousand people in the one hundred mile radius radius. The town of widely spread houses and tiny complexes was all centered around the Mental Institution.

Tsunade guessed it was all for the better. Her instincts told her that it was far away for a reason, to keep people from getting out, and if they did happen to get out, there are not that many people to get hurt by them. She assumed that maybe, this was for the best, but then there was so much forest that she wondered if it would do any good. The escapees could just hideout in the woods, and then when they called the search off they could go on with their lives. Or whatever was left of it.

Tsunade sighed and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, and called speed dial number one. Sakura picked up a few seconds later.

"Hello?"

"Hey where are you," Tsunade sighed into the phone, " I didn't think you'd be dumb enough to leave without the car and a ride home!"

"Well, I didn't want you to have to walk." said Sakura sheepishly over the phone;it was on speaker phone, and Ino could hear everything.

"And what? I'm too old?"

"No!" said Sakura angrily.

"I'm just kidding Sakura!" laughed Tsunade.

"Oh, okay." started Sakura.

"Chill out. I could've gotten a ride home. Trust me. I got _huge_ boobs! I mean, have you seen them? Who could pass these babies up?" Tsunade laughed, and Sakura and Ino laughed on the other end of the phone. "Alright, I'm almost there. I might as well come home, I mean I'm almost there, and I haven't had a day off in about ten years. So whadaya say? Let's go have a girl's night out!"

"Oh.My.God! Sakura you have to say yes! We could get mani-pedis, and-and.,we could celebrate and help you get over Sasuke! Come, on you need a girls night out!" Ino grabbed her arm, and Tsunade could practically see the wheels spinning in Sakura's head as she mulled it over.

"Alright..." relented Sakura with a sigh.

00000000000000

* * *

The club was loud, and harsh on Sakura's ears, she had grown quite accustomed to the quiet serenity of the Institute. She was trying to have fun, really she was, but she couldn't bring herself to let go. A couple, well really a lot of guys had hit on her that night. She was looking the best she had in over a month, with stylish green swirl peep-toe pumps, a teal mid-thigh flowy sleeveless dress. Her features were adorned with light green eye makeup, and a soft pink lip gloss. Her hair had been straightened to the max, and it hung close to her face, giving her a mysterious look that the men couldn't seem to get enough of.

"Hey sugar-lips, you wanna dance?" purred a man in her ear.

"No thanks." said Sakura softly, with a smile.

"Awww, come on, honey, you know you can't resist a dance!" He was cute, but obviously not Sakura's type. He had a masculine jaw, and dark hair and eyes, and a stubbly face. She was more into a less masculine man, but she hadn't figured that out until recently. She didn't even know it fully yet, but she was getting a vibe, a vibe that said he wasn't the one for her.

"No thanks, really I am not in the mood."

"Look, you obviously haven't got a boyfriend!" scoffed the guy, resting a hand on her high table.

"What makes you say that?" demanded Sakura angrilly.

"You are drinking, alone, and he's not her _trying _to beat the daylights out of me. " The man smirked, nodding at the waiter, and she sat him down a shot of Tequila. He downed it, and shook his head as the burning liquid reached his throat. "And, you look totally pissed."

"Well, maybe it just so happens that I am pissed because you are insinuating that I have no boyfriend,when quite frankly, I think he might be a little hurt by that. And you know what?"

"What?" he asked, sitting down across from her in the stool.

"I bet he _could_ beat the living daylights out of you. So back off , _bucko_." She spat the word in his face, as though it were poison and might just kill him, as though she hoped it would. 'Is this guy gonna take a hint or what? I don't like him!'  
"Well? Where is he, I can take him. "

"He's at the Institute."

"Of what? Technology?" laughed the man, throwing his head back.

"Nope." Whispered Sakura, her eyes blazing with an insane fury.

"O-Oh... What's he in for?" he asked gruffly, trying to hide his hesitancy.

"He allegedly murdered someone. But who knows..." Sakura rose an innocent hand in the air. "For all those idiots know, I could've done it."

"U-um do you mind if use the little boy's room?"

"Sure, but I would suggest that you don't come back to my table." Sakura stat3ed dryly, sipping on her second martini. This night was not going well, but she hadn't had high hopes for it, so what could you expect? She wasn't even drunk yet ,but then who would want to be on a night like this. She'd have been way more miserable right now if she was. Getting drunk was for losers, as far as she was concerned. She hadn't gotten wasted in her entire life. She had never seen the point. A, it was a waste of liquor, and B, it was a waste of money. Money she had never had to waste.

She pulled out her phone, and started a text message to her sister.

'I don't wanna do this anymore, can we leave now?'

She glanced across the room to the bar, where her sister was standing, and flirting with some tall pale guy, with dark hair. He stood tall and straight, even when he was leaning against the bar with his elbow bent. Sakurea saw her sister pull out her vibrating phone, and glance at the guy who shrugged. Her sisters lips moved, and Sakura read them with an acquired ease.

'It's my sister. Do you mind?'

She couldn't see the guys lips, but then she didn't have to. He gave his head a shake, and his hair ruffled a little bit.

'Y?! I cn't b-leve u wanna lev! Cum on! I found this awsum gy!'

Sakura frowned deaply as she spent a moment deciphering the weird message. it was half English-half gibberish.

'You don't have to leave, I just wanna go see and make sure Gaara is okay!'

'Y? Do u hav 2 lev? Plz stay.U'll mak me fel gilty!'

Sakura studied her freshly manicured nails for a moment, sliding her thumb over the smooth polished surface before responding.

'You don't have to leave, and don't feel guilty, I don't wanna stay is all. I am not having fun. That would make you feel more guilty right?'

'Yes. But I really do lik him! I swear!'

'I get it. I am going to spend the night there, you know in case...I really, truly and honestly do not wanna be there!'

''Thx! I luv u! I'll mak it up I promis! TTYL! LYS!!'

'Love you too! Btw, what is his name?' Sakura knew some text lingo, so why not, she figured.

'Sai.'

'Alright. Just curious . I am going to tell Tsunade, and she should give you some privacy if I know her at all!'

'Thx!'

'Your welcome.'

Sakura sent Tsunade a text explain the situation, where she and Ino would be, and Tsunade texted back an accepting text. Sakura responded, asking if she could borrow the car, and drive out to see Gaara and make sure he was okay. She added a rueful lol at the end, remembering earlier. Tsunade responded with a lol-ful text and a smiley face composed of a capital X, and a capital D, effectively creating this smiley- XD. Sakura looked across the room, feeling a little bit repulsed when she saw Tsunade dirty dancing with an older man. She thought she could just take the puke in the back of her throat. But, there was actually something different about her that Sakura couldn't just place.

She walked over to where Ino was, and gave her a quick one armed hug, so as to not intrude. She then gave Tsunade a longer, more meaningful hug. Tsunade brushed a stray strand of hair from Sakura's face, and then sent her on her way. Sakura grabbed her coat and purse, and then walked slowly out to her car.

Even in her awkward position, she had grown to think of Tsunade's place as home. It was almost like having a mother again, someone to confide in, and talk to, someone who confided her. She had started looking for apartments a while back, but she was sure that Tsunade had sabotaged any chance of getting one and her moving out, even though she had no evidence. Her checkbook would go missing, or her car keys so she couldn't get out there and drive. And if all else failed, her purse would disappear, or her workload would increase, and she would lug home tremendous amounts of paperwork. But, it was all just as well. Tsunade was like the mother she had always wanted, the one who never changed, who never seemed to falter in her forward stride.

It was only when Sakura was turning the key in Tsunade's silver Volvo that she realized what had changed. Tsunade's hair was turning gray. Slowly but surely, it was turning gray. Sakura had known that obviously Tsunade was using some sort of anti-aging cream or whatever she used, but this surprised her. Tsunade really was letting go as Sakura had suggested so long ago. She guessed that once she had gotten that file, Gaara's case, Tsunade had stopped coloring her hair. Acceptance. The final stage of grieving.

**Author's Note- This was hard to write! I was babysitting, and I had to get my little brother clothes for tomorrow, and I was freaking out because I couldn't find his pants... OMG. I wanted to cry!And then my little sister didn't want to go to sleep... And I tried so hard to get all of my chores done, and that just ruined it! GAHHHHH! Talk about bad luck, right? SIGH. Anyway, I hope you like it, and uh... Read Sevgi's story and PheonixSong's stories! I am sorry if I forgot someone else's story, but I am tired. So suck it up! Anyway, remind me and I'll add you next chapter, hopefully!  
**

**And NO, Sai is not going to be a jerk in my story! Ino doesn't need that, and in this story , she doesn't particularly deserve it.  
**

**LOVE IT I TELL YOU! JK, sorry if this chapter is boring or weird... XD Forgive me? Please?**

** Read it, review it, love it, enjoy it.**

Mellokai


	18. Chill of the Night

Sakura sighed as she strolled along the path at the Institutes's Garden. She had never known it was here, but now she had found it. She inhaled deeply, the smell of crisp Autumn leaves and fresh dew clouding her senses.She had planed on going inside and checking on him, but now she found herself on this path, following it in the dim moonlight. It cast an eerie film over the Sugar Maples, their orange leaves looked ablaze in the night, all the trees burning endlessly together.

Sakura looked for every and yet nothing at all as she walked along. She half expected somethign to jump out and her and attack her, hooting and hollering like a maniac.A cool breeze ruffled her hair and chilled her cheeks. She pulled her thick coat tighter around herself and shivered in spite of herself. The ground was frozen solid, breaking apart when she stepped on the small mounds, her high heels like a wedge , splitting apart the frozen soil. It would make a slight crunching sound, like that of the thwack! of a rock hitting a tree.

At times her feet wobbled precariously on the rocky path, her high heels a reminder of her soft warm slipper-like flats. Sakura sat down upon the chilly concrete bench carresing the smooth surface with numb unfeeling fingers, her only hints that it was even smooth was that concrete didn't catch on the delicate fabric of her gloves.

Her mind wandered, strolling to and fro as she had been merely a minute ago. The sound of a long owl hoo-ing in the near distance slowly roused her from her thoughts. She rose from her seat, her ankles chilly, and growing numb in the cold, her knee length flowy skirt ruffling in her movements and the slow breeze. She starts her way back on the long walk, absently mindedly swiping at her now-runny nose. Her lips had paled in the cold, her skin flushed with the depravity of the warmth she so desperately craved. Her skin screamed its protest at this injustice every time the slow wind blew, stinging her smooth sensitive face.

She stepped over a particularly large mound of frozen dirt, and continued on her way. She weaved in and out, following the path between the trees, the moonlight fading slowly as it started to duck behind a cloud. She quickened her step, afraid to walk alone in the dark. In her quickened pace, she forgot to watch where she was going, and she tripped over a large pile of sticks that seemed to have been destined to have gotten in her way.

Her foot connected, and she fell, her hands in her pockets, an attempt at warmth. She tried to wrench them free, but she ended up falling headlong into the air, making an amazing nosedive to the ground. She turned her face, and smacked the side of her head off the ground rather than her face. She was attempting to land on her shoulder, but there was simply not enough time to move that far. The coat that had previously trapped her hands had snagged on a tree branch,and the back ripped open, all the way down the middle. She was unconscious now, the blood trickling from her temple slowly forming a thick sticky pool around her face. In a half hour or two, it would become frozen, and later hinder the removal of her face from the ground.

* * *

Tsunade waved goodbye to the man she'd been dancing with earlier from her post in front of the door at the Institute. She swung the door open, and flashed her identification at the night janitor, even though he knew who she was after working there for so long. She whistled idly as she walked to the far back of the Institute, sliding her card through the many card slides at the three solid doors. They provided protection of the patients getting out. You had to go through here to get to the back of the hospital to get to the lower floors, and the patients on the first regular level. Gaara was now on the first U-Level as they still had yet to appeal to the Medical Board of the country. The appeal date had been set for a month from two weeks ago. They still had yet to track down Gaara's father, and his real parents, but she was almost sure that if they didn't, the defense attorney certainly would. The Sabaku's were certainly well off from the look of the house of Gaara's siblings from what Sakura had told her.

They were still going to come in the morning, and this time Gaara had agreed to it. He had been apprehensive, but he had agreed, and Tsunade wouldn't let him change his mind. Sakura was supposed to have given him his medicine, but he was still awake when she got there.

"Where's Sakura?" asked Tsunade curiously, as she started getting him his medicine out of her purse. It was always good to carry tranquilizers around with you, at least that was what Tsunade said. You never knew what crazies you would find at bars!

"She didn't come tonight." said Gaara frowning at her in confusion and hurt. She hadn't come, but she told Tsunade she would?

"She did, the car is here!" argued Tsunade, her voice growing worried.

"Maybe she went for a walk. She was trying to tell me _I _needed to take a walk the other week." reasoned Gaara , an edge of fear coming into his voice. In the back of her mind, Tsunade was cheering and doing a victory dance. He was starting to like her! This was her plan all along, a way to keep the two most important people in her life safe, together, and near her, where she could _make sure_ they were safe.

"Alright... Well... Let's go get her!" exclaimed Tsunade excitedly.

"What? But I am not allowed out!" argued Gaara nervously.

"You gotta get out sometime! And who's going to help me get her? You know how she gets when she zones out and is just watching. She won't hear either of us!" Tsunade's voice sounded serious as she pulled and stretched the truth as far as she could. " You have great eyes, you could find her in the dark, couldn't you? _You_ get a chance to be the one watching and staring this time!"

" What if-"

"_Gaara._" He looked at the floor, the tiles blurring together, spinning in blurs. He blinked, trying to shake the vision. "Gaara, look at me." Tsunade hooked a motherly finger under his chin, and made him look into her eyes. "Nothings going to hurt you, not while I'm around." She felt the muscles in his cheek release as his jaw unclenched, and his lips turned up, just a little bit. His smile had come a long way from the tiny upturned corners, now his lips were curved like a upturned parenthesis. She smiled back at him, and then told him to wait while she got him some shoes and a jacket from the supply closet. These were for the patients who were normally allowed to go out and about in the fenced in property of the Institute.

She gave back with the heavy and uncomfortably lumpy coat and a pair of old battered boots. She thrust the into his uncertain hands, and he pulled the on apprehensively. Sakura had long since known he would rush into things with blind adrenaline, and then when the quick burst of adrenaline wore off, he would pull back, and want out of it.

She watched as he pulled on his boots, and as he pushed his arms through the sleeves of his old parka. When he fumbled with the zipper, his hands clumsy to this foreign task, she reached out and sipped it up for him quickly.

Then she pushed him out of the room much to his protest, and then pulled the door shut behind her. They walked quickly down the hall, and she let Gaara watch as she let them through the first level security. Every other floor other than the first floor had no security. The second through fifth floor were only medium risk patients at most, the worst closer to the 1st floor. There is sense in this believe it or not. There are security stations on the second and third floor, the second floor squad stronger than the third floors. This way, it prevented the patients from getting out. There were guard stations at various points, the number and level of protection determined by the heat of the area. Different areas were different "temperatures". the hotter the zone, the more protection needed. Right now they were at a very "hot zone" and they had to pass through three solid steel doors before they were clear to walk anywhere near the front doors.

Gaara walked at a fixed pace at her side, his stride matched with hers in a what looked to be an effortlessly flowing stride. He was so good at everything that involved deceiving people, thought Tsunade, too good at it. He deceived himself long ago into thinking he was alone.

* * *

Her head hurt, a blinding confusing mass of pain. She was too cold to move, so cold she felt like she was growing warm.Her arms and legs were warm and fuzzy feeling, the ground felt hard like a bench. She remembered sleeping in the train station with her mother as they waited for a train to arrive to take them to Grandmother's house. Her father had decided to stay home and work, it hadn't been so bad then. She was little, maybe six or seven. She remembered it vividly in her mind, the feel of her mother's soft coat around her shoulder, the feel of her mother's leg under her cheek as she lay drowsily. She could even just feel her mother's light hand rubbing her back comfortingly, as if that would keep the bad dreams away. And yet, it had. Sakura glowed with warmth now, the memory replacing the cold scenery in which she really was. Her body was warm, and she felt that light buzz of blissful drowsiness. She was tired, and content to just fall asleep, right here right now.

She almost stirred from her drowsy state when she felt her mother shift in her seat, her head being pulled slightly. She felt a pang of dull pain in her cheek, it felt as though her skin had snagged on something, and was being pulled outward from her face. She let out a distressed breath as the pain slowly grew stronger. It stopped getting stronger at some point, she couldn't remember it seconds later. Then there was a sudden burst of pain, and she almost cried out. Tears stung her cheek as they rolled on down. And then it grew less little by little. It was dulling again. She felt her mother pick her up, rocking her back and forth soothingly.

Her mother stood up and carried her onto the train, where it was no warmer nor any colder than it had been on the platform. She snuggled closer, inhaling her mother's perfume. Something about it was off, the smell just a tad to deep. Her mother had worn an almost expensive perfume, deep and nice smelling. It was like a mix of some lovely unidentifiable smell, and honey.Her mother had some time ago tried to describe it to her, but she couldn't remember the exact conversation. She remembered somehow getting ice-cream, and getting a smear fight with her mother. They had gotten ice-cream all over them... She remembered as she grew even sleepier. It seemed the tireder she grew, the more and more good times she remembered with her mother and sometimes her father.

She was growing warmer now, unbearably warm. She felt like she was on fire, the skin all over her body was burning at the hand of a white hot iron. She couldn't move, her body seemed to have shut down. She tried desperately to cry out, to get someone to stop the pain, but no one could see, no one could here. She was surrounded by a cold lonely blackness, the eerie ringing silence on the verge of making her crazy. And then the burning subsided just a little bit, now almost bearable.

She couldn't feel anything other than the burning fury in her skin, her bones, everything. She was fading, slipping into the black that was so greedily overwhelming her.It was her only solace in this pain, the ability, the gift to slip into the dark and hide from the pain and confusion. She didn't understand, didn't remember, didn't care. As long as she was gone from this.

* * *

"Why isn't she waking up?" demanded Gaara, staring intently at her face.

"Gaara, it is going to take time. " Tsunade's voice was sad and slow, the sadness evident, but falling but falling upon death ears.

Gaara simply stared at her limp lifeless form, the wild shaking had yet to come back. Tsunade said that they were lucky to have found her when they did. When they he had seen her , he had taken off, Tsunade not bothering to catch up. Her coat had someone had been ripped, and had slid off, only her hands still inside the sleeves. Gaara pulled it off, and slipped his own over her shoulders, fumbling with the zipper as he had done earlier. He had no sooner gotten it down when Tsunade caught up. she tried to pull her up, but Gaara had grabbed her arm, and told her that she needed to run back and get hot water, or risk ripping the skin off Sakura's face.

It was so cold it couldn't even snow. Gaara had never seen the outside world without the glass surrounding him before, and though it hadn't registered then, he had loved it. He wanted her to get better not only so he could see it again, but because he'd never had anyone to talk to again. He trusted Sakura with his life, though he wouldn't admit it and sometimes he got scared.

He put a hand to her forehead, with a grimace he told Tsunade she hadn't got much warmer.

Tsunade stood up to go after him, but when she followed him out the door, he had simply gone to the supply closet to get more blankets. She sat back down, and he when he came back, he layered the blankets on top off her, his fingers light.

He sat heavily back in his harsh metal chair.

"You hungry?" asked Tsunade hopefully.

"No." lied Gaara, but Tsunade saw through it.

"Yes, you are. " Tsunade's reassuring hand was on his back as she made her way to the door. "I'll be right back. What would you like?"

Gaara murmured some intelligible words, and she asked him once more. "Ramen." he said quietly.

"Alright. I'll be right back."

She left, and went out and bought him some ramen. The long ride back gave her a chance to think about things. Sakura would be alright, but Gaara needed a rest more than anyone. She would slip him some Ativan in his ramen.

And so she did, and sure enough he fell asleep. She picked him up like a baby, and set him in the rocking recliner chair Sakura had ordered be put in here for Gaara. She had brought it from home, and it was her own. She had said she wouldn't mind him using it, and she hadn't. Tsunade could plainly see it thrilled her to see Gaara happier even in the slightest. She had heard her refering to Gaara as her boyfriend in the bar, and she had to admit she was happy. Maybe things would work out.

She took one of the blankets covering Sakura, and covered him with it, giving him a motherly peck on the head.He didn't stir.

Tsunade settled down, and pulled out the case file, and started compiling her case against Gaara's father. She was going to burn him like the wick of a candle.

**Author's Note- Don't worry Sakura is going to be fine! I am telling you. But, I can't wait for everyone to go to court. You'll love it. Lots of twists and turns in the courtroom. This is kind of like a soap-opera just a loooooooooot less people! Lol. I hope you liked it, and sorry PheonixSong, but I am very ankxious to get this chapter out, so no proof reading! Sorrrrrry. I am really, but I am more excited, like so excited. I started this in Math class believe it or not. UGH. I hate math. TA TA! Read and review it! Love it and enjoy it! Thanks much! Not many people have the name Lauren huh? Raise your hand if you have the same name as me!  
**

Lauren/Mellokai


	19. Suits and Smiles

Gaara burrowed deeper into the soft recliner,the cool temperature of the room chilling his skin. He realized with a start where he was, and he peeked out behind his blanket to look at Sakura. She wasn't pale anymore, but she did look sick. She was sleeping now, her face relaxed, not as pained as it had been the night before. Gaara sighed with relief, the sigh unbeknownst to him.

Tsunade smiled in spite of herself, and then laughed. "You look like a little boy, Gaara, when you just let yourself calm down."

Gaara turned and looked at her surprisedly. She had been silent, and he hadn't even her , not even her breathing.

"It's true. You don't look so scary when you sleep. I think that's one of the reasons Sakura wants to help you. You are showing signs of help. You want this don' t you? To be done with all of this chaos?" Asked Tsunade gently.

He nodded, his cheek brushing the smooth fabric of the chair. Suede? he pondered. He sank into the deep cushion of the chair, wishing he could just disappear into it. He knew she wouldn't stop questioning, trying to squeeze an answer out of him.

"You could do it , you know." Tsunade surprised him with abrupt end of questioning. Gaara assumed Sakura had told Tsunade he didn't like it, and it wouldn't work.

"Mmhm..." The medicine was gone, but he couldn't help but notice the way his eyes seemed to be weighted down. As if by lead weights. "I don't want to go back to sleep..." He murmured aloud.

Tsunade looked down into her lap."Nothings going to hurt you, not while I'm here, I told you that last night, Gaara. I don't care how big you get, you'll always be my little boy. You're like a son..." She looked up and saw that he was already sleeping, and her heart seemed to fall a mile to the ground. But it leapt all the way up into heaven when she saw the small acknowledging smile on his lips, even in his sleeping state.

She smiled back, not minding if he couldn't see her. She silently punched her fists into the air with joy.

Sakura would stir a few hours later to ask about Gaara, and Tsunade told her of what of happened. Sakura felt guilty, but when she saw Gaara sleeping, and Tsunade told her that he didn't have take any medication, she beamed.

She hugged Tsunade, her tears spilling onto Tsunade's shoulder.She was sad and happy all at the same time. She didn't know what to do anymore, everything in her life had been turned up and down,nothing was going as planned.

After a little while, she had fallen asleep again, and Tsunade had covered her up, and marked her page for her. She left a note in case Sakura or Gaara woke up again and then left the door cracked slightly, the loud noise of the door shutting would wake them both.

She was in the staff lounge. The night before, after she had purchased special made ramen, she had bought some instant ramen as well. But, that was not what they needed at the moment. She had put a hand to Gaara's head when the medicine had knocked him out, and we was a little warm. The weather was below ten degrees at any given moment. Sometimes she wondered why she livde here, in the crazy climate. It was overly hot in the summer and unbelievably cold in the winter.

She found a couple cans of soup and heated them up, and made toast. It was almost golden brown, with a thin layer of butter. She liked it that way because the middle of the toast would be soft and springy.

She carried the tray wit the two bowls and sets of toast back to the room and nudged the door open. The sound of the door creaking wide open woke Gaara with a start, and he eyed her cautiously. He calmed down when he saw she was simply bringing them soup. Sakura looked up at her, and then rolled over onto her back. She propped herself up, and Gaara shifted positions in his chair.

"I made you soup. You are getting sick." stated Tsunade to both of them as she handed them their bowls of soup.

"Are you kidding me? I haven't gotten sick in my life." snorted Gaara, slurping up a noodle.

"You haven't been outside in almost eighteen years Gaara. You're going going to get sick." said Tsunade firmly. "Now, you are going to have outside time now. But, you are going to need to shower properly, no more Institute soap. The few patients who go outside have to use regular shampoos. The shampoo the Institute issues does not kill germs as affectively."

"OK, but can I pick?" bargained Gaara, looking up at her as he sucked in another noodle. The expression on his face was priceless as he slurped up that noodle, and she broke into laughter along with Sakura. He had actually been trying to make them laugh, the atmosphere was heavy.Gaara repressed a smile as he basked in his moment of glory.When their laughter subsided he speared a couple vegetables and some chicken. He chewed on them thoughtfully as they debated the actions.

"Yes, but Sakura and I have to come with you. You are going to have to cooperate in the store ok? If you do , we'll take you out more often. You can even get some paper and drawing supplies. I know how you like that." agreed Tsunade.

Gaara smiled triumphantly, a full force smile, and Tsunade's heart soared. Her little boy was actually happy.

"But," she said carefully, knowing this was the best time to get him, "You will also have to take your cold medicine."

His smile didn't falter, he simply nodded, and finished the last of his soup. He started in on his crackers, munching contentedly. He had been unbelievably thin and wiry when Sakura first met him, but Tsunade was proud of the work she'd done. Sakura had gotten him to fill out in the slightest. He was now only thin, his ribs no longer visible through the rough sack like bag.

"Maybe we'll even get you some new clothes..." murmured Tsunade to herself.

"OHHH!" squealed Sakura. "I want to do that! Can we do that?" she asked Gaara hopefully. Gaara shrugged noncommittally, and Sakura let out a another happy squeal. "We need to get you a suit, and then everything else will come."

She immediately regretted her words when his smile faltered slightly, but then it was back. "We're going to kick butt, huh?" Gaara smiled up at her almost rudely, and she looked a little taken aback. You couldn't blame the guy for being mad at his father , but still...

"Yeah. We are." said Sakura confidently. She decided right then and there she decided it wasn't wrong, and that she was going to stick with him through this all the way.

* * *

"Gaara! Put that back!"

"But what is it?"

"_You don't_ _need that!!"_

"But what is it?!"

"It's for women!"

"But, what-"

"You pee on and it tells you if you're pregnant! Happy?"

Gaara stared at the open box in one hand and the pregnancy stick in the other.He hastily threw them on the ground and then shook his hands disgustedly. "IT'S EVIL!!"

He hid behind the rack of greeting cards, almost knocking it over as he pushed himself between it and the wall.

"No, Gaara. It is not!" argued Sakura. "It's perfectly normal!"

She nudged the open case under the shelf and hid it from view. She didn't want to have to pay for it if she didn't have to.

She grabbed Gaara by the arm and yanked him over to the other section of the store. "There. _This_ is what you need!" It was art supply galore.

He drifted towards the isle and she let him. He wandered around here and there plucking something from the shelf. After not to long, he came back to her with an armful of stuff.Tsunade gestured to the shopping cart and he dropped the stuff inside, his face excited.

"When we get back you can use them, now- we've got to get you some regular clothing!" exclaimed Temari, her hands full of clothing on hangers. Sakura sat down in one of the uncomfortable chairs, still drained. She was faking it the best she could, but to be frank she was exhausted. Her head was pounding , the steady beat of pain in her whole head. Her cheek was scuffed iup, but other than that fine. Her whole body ached a little bit, but her head hurt the worst. She felt almost like she had permanent brain freeze.

She heard a grunt of protest and then watched as Kankuro pushed Gaara from the dressing room. She laughed in spite of herself at the way he had his arms crossed protectively over his chest, and was squashed into the wall trying to hide himself.

"Kankuro, you have no fashion sense." She rose from her seat , and walked towards Gaara, aiming to fix the collar of his dress shirt. But Temari had beaten her to it. Temari then turned her brother to look at himself in the mirror.

He stared at the mirror for a long time, checking out almost every aspect of the beautiful suit. The 360 degrees mirror was new to him, but he seemed to be taking it in stride.

"Would you like a picture? It'll last longer." joked Kankuro.

"Yeah." said Gaara seriously, not getting the joke.

"O-oh." Sakura pulled out her digital camera and took a picture. Tsunade had shown him how it worked earlier when she had fallen back asleep after their soup.

She showed him the picture and he smiled.

They spent the rest of the day with him trying on clothes, and then taking pictures of the outfits. At some point she had fallen asleep, but no one had woken her, for none wanted to disturb her. She was sick after all. She didn't even notice as Tsunade picked her up and carried her out to the car after everyone had paid for everything. They all piled into the car, and Tsunade sat Sakura down and buckled her in.

Ino would be waiting at home for them. Kankuro had volunteered to spend the night with Kankuro, but Tsunade had asked all three of them to spend the night with him. They didn't have to stay in the same room, but be there for him just in case. Family was always a help, at least when Tsunade was around. She would make things work, one way or another.

**Author's Note- So my horse-show got rained out... We had our horses loaded and were on the ay over there, we were told that it wouldn't get rained out, right? It did, the whole ring must've flooded apparently. So we turned around and put stuff away... It was a good experience for Slick, my horse though, he is a thoroughbred, and he is used to getting on the trailer and going to race somewhere. But I have been riding him for two weeks now, and the show would've been good experience. But the trailer was just fine. He got to go back and eat his breakfast so... he is huge! I mean to me anyway. His withers are taller than my head! He is light grey, and his right hip is brown for some reason. He was a good racehorse, but now he is eleven and he is done! So yeay! Cheers for horses! Do you think Gaara should get to know horses in the story?**

Read and review, enjoy it and love it!

THANKS!

**Mellokai/Lauren **


	20. Video Camera

"So, I've been wondering, does your family have any special talents?" asked Tsunade as Gaara's hand flew across the page, perfectly capturing the expression of his brother's sleeping face.

"Well, our mother played the piano..." said Temari uncertainly. "But other than that, no one else in the family has any 'special talent' for anything. Other than being uptight."

"Hm..." Tsunade took a breath. "Did you know Gaara was adopted?" She had expected a bigger reaction out of Gaara. Sakura said he had no idea that he was adopted.Gaara's hand faltered slightly, but his grip on the paintbrush tightened and he painted on.

"WHAT?!" Temari screeched, and Gaara looked up in alarm.

"Temari, calm down." soothed Shikamaru. "You had to expect it.He's not exactly similar looking to you."

Temari smacked Shikamaru's hand from her shoulder, and ran a hand through one of her pigtails. "And you didn't even tell him anything?"

"I already knew." said Gaara looking up from his painting.

"For how long?" Demanded Tsunade. Sakura had never told her that Gaara knew about this.

"He kind of heard Vera and I talking. " whispered Sakura hesitantly. "I-"

"This is kind of important, Sakura! You need to tell me these things! He wasn't supposed-"

"He needed to know! And I didn't tell him- he overheard me and Vera!" argued Sakura, her voice cracking with the effort of yelling.

"Hey! HEY!" yelled Kankuro, his voice startling them. "Just cut it out! What's done is done, get over it! He's lucky." There was a hint of jealousy in his voice, but no one noticed it.

Gaara muttered a stream of intelligible phrases under his breathe, and when Kankuro curiously asked him what he had said he stated: "Do you want to go for a walk?"

Kankuro nodded, and Sakura stood up as well. She walked out of Gaara's room with them, knowing it was better to go than to stay here. She would be tired, but at least she wouldn't have to face Tsunade.

"Hey, you girls want to go out to lunch?" She heard Shikamaru ask. "My Dad works at the Institute on the other side of the country. I'm sure we could email him and get some information out of him. He has been looking into Gaara's case since Temari told me to ask him about it. I'm sure we could come up with something." his voice didn't drag so much, he actually sounded like he wanted to help.Sakura let out a small smile. With a brain like his, almost anything was possible.

* * *

Gaara walked between his brother and Sakura, taking in the beauty of the world in daylight. He had only gotten a glimpse that night, as he had slept in the car on the way to the store. But now, it has his full, complete and undivided devotion. He slipped his backpack from his shoulder, to carry it with his right hand. He was tall, yet still so thin, his pale skin blending in with the white sky. The grass crunched beneath his feet, as he thought to himself. It wasn't as cold as it had been the day he'd gone out to get Sakura with Tsunade.

The ground was stiff and surprisingly resilient on his light feet. He was silent, whereas Kankuro and Sakura were almost loud, their feet crushing twigs, smashing the mounds of frozen dirt with loud thacks! of noise.

He brushed a crumbling leaf from his shoulder, and wandered further into the garden, away from the bickering pair. They were arguing over which way to go, left or right on the fork in the path. Gaara simply wandered straight along, through the trees. There were tall Birches and Sugar Maples, the state tree. The birds' nests had long ago been fled for warmer climate. He took in the sky and the whiteness of it, and the way the trees seemed to blow in a spiritual dance when the wind blue. He imagined wild crazy tribal music, and the ancient people his Mama had told him about as a child. They would dance around the fire, stomping their feet, ignoring the cold and enjoying the dance. The wild colors and face paint, head dresses... The amazing scene stopped him in his tracks as he imagined, the colors and feeling consuming him. He set his bag down, plopping himself silently down upon the ground. He was like a shadow, you only noticed him if you really looked for him. Kankuro and Sakura caught up soon enough, though he had already begun his work.

The wild colors were already evident in his work. This time he wasn't looking at what he was drawing. The people were clearly Indians, the wild ones of the past. The ground was frosted lightly, the trees burning like the fire in the center of the painting. The skyline was sunset, the colors blending inter-mixing. His face read something, but they weren't sure what it was.

They stood and watched as he painted away, not even aware of their presence. At some point Sakura got out her video camera and recorded him painting for sometime, the camera wobbling at some points when a strong gust of wind blew by. Gaara was using his bottle of water from his dinner to rinse his brushes, and his napkin for his dinner to dry things off. She only turned the camera off when Gaara finished his painting, and turned to look at them. He looked a bit taken aback by the camera, but when Sakura and Kankuro smiled, so did he. Sakura shut off the camera, and tucked it back inside her bag.

They stayed long enough to watch the sunset, while everyone ate their sandwiches. Gaara convinced them to stay long enough to star watch for a little while, and so they did.

By the time they packed up, the moon had hid itself from them, and Kankuro and Sakura realized that they didn't have the slightest idea how to get back. But Gaara crept silently through the darkness with them trailing behind him as best they could. Every so often they would have to yell for him to find out where he was, but he would stop and wait, calling them with his voice. It took them nearly twice as long to get back as it had to get out there, but they made it.

Tsunade and Sakura apologized upon seeing each other, and then Ino called. She and her new boyfriend were going out to dinner, and they wouldn't be home till late, because they were going to catch a movie. That was just as well, because tonight was the night when patients got to stay up late and watch a movie at the Institute.

Gaara didn't really watch the movie, but drew instead. The glow of the projection on the wall cast his face in an eerie glow, and he looked to Temari like a god sent angel. She wouldn't admit it, but she was terrified. Not of him, but what would happen if he didn't get out of this place. The place itself wasn't that bad, but it _was _the best and most secure mental institution in the country.

His eyes at times seemed to disappear in the black of the dark room, and then he truly did look the hell demon he was made out to be. But his friends, he had told Sakura of his feelings toward everyone, knew better. He wasn't perfect, by any means, but he was closer to good than bad, Sakura knew that more than anyone.

The movie was over after long, and Tsunade, Kankuro, Temari, Shikamaru, and Sakura helped clean up. They left Gaara be, or , rather as Temari referred to it, they left him to his devices.

The sounds of talk and chatter on the patient's parts was loud, and yet contained in an odd manner. Every so often someone glanced back to check on Gaara, and he sat there painting. Aftera while, they figured he'd be fine and that he didn't need immediate looking after.

They picked up the garbage, and took the blanket off the wall, and put the projector away. This all was easier said than done. Mental patients could sure make messes.

* * *

"Hey Duck," called out a male voice, and Gaara didn't look up. It wasn't him name, so why should it concern him?

"Duck!" Gaara flinched back when he felt a heavy unwarranted hand on his shoulder.

"What-"

"You know, you should really think about being a boxer, you know!" said the older man, the one whom he had almost killed. Anger flared up in Gaara. "So, Duck, what'cha gunna do when you get outta here? Everyone's talking about it!"

Gaara was glad to see the man's face dropped ever so slightly when he questioned, "Why do you keep calling me duck? Do I _look_ like _duck_?"

"No!" laughed the man, when he realized what Gaara was asking. "It means get the Hell out of the way! You know, duck, take cover? _Stop- Drop-_and- _Roll!"_

Gaara almost smiled, but just in time he remembered that he didn't even know this guy. He had a rep to keep up, he couldn't be smiling all over the place.

"These people, " he pointed to Sakura and Tsunade," Think I'm not a boxer. I am, though. It's the only thing I ever was. All this other stuff isn't true. I was _never_ a painter, but then you know that don't you?" He smiled, and Gaara nodded back, leaning onto one hand in his position on the floor. "I got a real bad concussion back in the day during my biggest match, and boom! They dropped me like yesterdays garbage."

"How the hell did you get in here then?"

"Oh, I had a meltdown, you see I'd lost my wife and kids, they just left me. I couldn't support her anymore... The medicine they give you shuts you down, but you doing that, trying to kill me, it got me going again. Woke me up. I think you you should do it, it gets rid of anger and anything else real quick. You don't have to think. You should know that."

The man held out his hand, and it wavered in the air, like a leaf in the wind. Gaara could see Sakura running towards him, thinking something was wrong, and he knew she was ready to drag that man away by his hair. Everyone knew better than to talk to him. Until now.

Gaara held out his hand, trembling slightly, to the older man's, and they shook hands.

**Author's Note- Sorry if this is crapness! i wanted to get a chapter out before school, I haven't put one out in a long time because we got hit with the leftovers from Ike last Sunday. Sorry Sevgi, no time to put you in this chapter, but you should be in the next one! Lol. Well, read and love it! Enjoy it and review it! **

Mellokai/Lauren


	21. Hit Me

"What the hell is this?" The man demanded, his slightly aged face wrought with fury and apprehension.

"It's a lawsuit, sir." stated the young woman dryly, having been through this many times.

"What for? Who the hell would file against me? I'm a star citizen!" His face was turning red, and he looked about to lash out.

"Look, sir, all I do is deliver them. You want more information, open it up, read it, and get a _damn_ good lawyer." At that she turned, walking back down the walk, and then hopping into her car. He watched lividly as she drove off, then furiously tour open the manila envelope the lawsuit was in, and quickly scanned through the trext, his eyes narrowing in anger as they were absorbed.

"I thought I got rid of this... I'll just have to squash him into the ground like a little nasty bug..." He muttered under his breath.

* * *

The sweat was pouring off his forehead, and the back of his neck. He put up his arms to block his face, but she surprised him with a upper cut to his stomach. He let out a pained breath of surprise, and wanted very much to curl up on the floor and just lie there.

But Gaara kept blocking, his movements growing weaker and weaker as he tired. He was not used to endurance work. He had been at this for nearly an hour, and he could barely stand now.

"Come on, Gaara!" laughed Tsunade, stepping back, and putting her hands down. "You're slower than Sakura. Come on already!" She held up her hands, as if beckoning him to hit her.

"_You_ come on." he retorted icily, his eyes narrowing in disdain. Tsunade shrugged, and slugged him in the stomach. For once, he swung back, and connected blindly with her shoulder.

She let out a sharp breath, and held up her hand. "I'm an old woman, dammit! Take it easy!" She rubbed her shoulder gently, and glared at him angrilly.

"You told me to!" rushed Gaara defensively, yanking off his gloves.

"So? I didn't mean _that_ hard!"

"Don't stop now," reasoned the old man. Bo, if you've forgotten his name, was actually younger than he looked. He looked about fifty, but in truth, he was only thirty-eight. His face might have once been pretty, but it was far from it now. His nose had once been straight and fine, but it now sat crooked to the left, the after-effect of too many right hooks. His jaws were large at the hinge, as a result of to many dislocations. His eyes were hooded, the swollen effect still remaining. He always looked as though he had black eyes, and his lips were scarred and cracked. It was a face only a compassionate and empathetic woman could love.

"What's the point?" sighed Gaara dejectedly.

"What do you mean what's the point? There is no point to this, it's to help you get better, feel better! If you can't take that, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it! Now put you're damn gloves back on, an show me what you're made of. Tsunade, hand me your gloves." Tsunade obliged, wincing in pain when her shoulder throbbed with a pulsing sensation whenever she moved.

Bo tugged the gloves onto his hands, and then held them out for Tsunade to secure.

She fastened them quickly, and then asked Gaara if he was ready. Gaara shook his head no, and pushed his hands into his gloves and then Sakura tied them and velcroed them to his wrists.He let out a low breath, and wiped a trickle of sweat form his brow.

His fist seemed to come out of nowhere, he was a lot quicker and stronger than Tsunade had been. It was all Gaara could do to avoid that extra punch, and try to get in one of his own. He was getting angrier and angrier as he felt more and more defenseless and useless. He didn't it was there until it overflowed, and he lashed out and caught Bo with a right hook in the side of the head. Bo froze, and Gaara withdrew, realizing he'd hit the man. Bo swung back, and Gaara remained frozen.

"Come on! Hit me again!" yelled Bo. "HIT ME!"

He battered Gaara into the corner, and Gaara tentively pushed him back, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

"There you go, again. I won't get mad, go ahead."

Gaara's hits grew progressively harder and harder as he took in this information. He didn't want to hurt Bo, but his fists were of their own, now. He couldn't stop, they kept swinging. His body was so exhausted he wasn't even tired anymore, a feeling he had recently grown unaccustomed to.

After a while the fatigue returned to him, and he almost instantaneously was sapped of energy. His shoulders sagged, and he stopped swinging. He, after a nod from Bo, yanked ff his gloves, and wobbled over to his folding chair. They were in the institute's gym, and there were folding chairs everywhere. Sakura smiled a knowing smile. Someone wouldn't be needing medication tonight.

* * *

He slept soundly, the medicine not bogging down his dream. He dreampt of relatively good dreams, but they still managed to frighten him.He dreampt of going to court, and winning, but his Dad showed up when he was leaving and shot Temari and Kankuro. He awoke the next morning with a start, and he rubbed his eyes awake almost frantically.

He sat up and looked around him. He remember slowly that Kankuro and Temari had to return home, and go back to work. He struggled to remember where Tsunade and Sakura were, but in all truth, they had never told him. He grabbed his bag, and opened the door. It was always left open a crack to let him roam around. They had put his handprint into the scanners, so that they would let him upstairs but no further.

He made his way to the shower, and then stripped down, and showered. He had to admit, he smelled pretty bad. He scrubbed hard at his head, the smell of the shampoo filling the small stall. He had picked this one out because it reminded him of his mother. It was cherry chocolate, and the conditioner was some kind of fruity shampoo. He didn't care as long as he smelled good. He hadn't had a chance to use it yet, but today was the day. He nearly rubbed his skin raw with the amount of force he used. His rational was the more force, the longer he would smell like his mother. The smell in the shower was calming, it reminded him of his mother.

He knew men weren't supposed to use conditioner, Bo had told him so, but he didn't care. He yawned loudly, and squeezed some body wash onto a pouf. it was called HeMan, and smelled of watermelon. His brother used watermelon shampoo. He toweled off, and pulled his clothes from his bag and yanked them over his head. The "locker room" was empty, and he liked his privacy.

The mirrors were foggy, the steam from his shower misting over them like fog on a creepy October morning. Thanksgiving was in another week, the meeting with the Board had been put off til' after Christmas.He was glad for this, because he was only going along with it for it was what Sakura wanted. He didn't know how to opperate any where other than this, he didn't knwo how he would survive. He pushed the thought from his mind, and thought about ihs Mother. he was rememberieng the good times, with each whiff.

He wandered back to his room, his towel slung over his shouler, and his hair still dripping wet. His face was dripping, no matter how much he dried it., the water from his hair dripping back onto his face.

He flopped back onto his bed, the tiredness he had been outrunning nearly all of his life consuming him once more. This times his dreams were pleasant, the scent of his mother guidinng him gently.

**Author's Note- I am sorry I haven't written in forever. Been busy. Birthday is the tenth of October! Wish me luck! **

mellokai/ Lauren


	22. Lean on Me

They were sitting outside, their jackets tight around them, the sun shining down mercilessly on them. The snow crunch beneath their feet as they were moved to a more conformable position. The snow was falling softly, frosting everything with a light haze.The opened the door and stepped inside, shaking off their coats, and hanging them on the rack. They kicked the snow off the boots onto the welcome carpet, and then got in line.

Soon they were sitting a table, menus in hand.

"You know you're going to miss your doctor's appointment if you don't hurry up and decide!" Tsunade grumbled.

"Fine..." mumbled Gaara with a scowl. "I want spaghetti and meatballs."

"I want... Penne and chicken with Vodka sauce."

"What would you like to drink?" asked the young waitress. She was obviously the owner's daughter.

"Appledew." said Tsunade firmly.

"Isn't it a bit earlier to be drinking?" asked Sakura frowning. "It's hardly noon!"

"Life is to short to wait for a respectable time to drink. I say drink, get drunk, and get down."

"Well aren't you an _incredible_ role model." said Sakura rolling her eyes.

"Eh. I don't think he'll mind. So long as I don't get _vicious," _laughed Tsunade.

"You're already drunk aren't you?" Tsunade straightened up, and Sakura smirked when Tsunade put on her famous "Poker Face."

"Noooo." said Tsunade, looking to the left and then to the right. "What makes you say that?"

"Oh, nothing." Sakura rolled her eyes at Gaara who smiled.

"Um, Miss?"

"Oh ,sorry! Gaara what do you want?"

"I-I don't know..." He admitted sheepishly.

"Will you get him a Coke? And, hmm... Yeah one for me too!"

"Ok, so we have an order for pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, and the penne with Vodka sauce? Two cokes and a Cold Comfort?"

Everyone nodded, and the young waitress of approximately twelve wandered back to the kitchen where her mother was cooking. She was the hotel cook. The hotel served as more of an eating-place than a hotel, though there were some people who lived there.

The trio talked and joked for a little bit till the drinks came back out, and Gaara watched them each take sips of their drinks. Sakura poked him playfully and told him to try it. He dropped the straw into his glass, and took a hearty swig. It was unlike anything he had ever tasted before, nothing he'd ever experienced. It was bubbly and smooth and the same time, cold and yet burning the back of his throat.

"You think that's good? Try this!" said Tsunade thrusting her drink at him.

"You don't have to Gaara." reasoned Sakura, she didn't want him drinking.

"I want to." He took a sip, and tried to mask the disgust on his face. He hated it, the nasty burning sensation in the back of his throat, and the taste of it on his tongue. "Uck!" he coughed a couple of times and handed it back to Tsunade.

"Light weight!" teased Tsunade good-naturedly. He took another sip of his coke to wash down the flavor, and then sat back.

Gaara's head perked up when he heard a song coming from the speakers overhead, and he glanced around as if looking for something. He apparently spotted whatever he was looking for because he rose from his chair, and Sakura followed him. Tsunade remained in her seat, sipping contentedly.

"Where are you going Gaara?" asked Sakura worriedly.

"Over there." said Gaara, turning and pointing. There saw a piano in the corner, a grand piano. The lid was open, and the keyboard as well. Gaara sat down, his hands hovering above the keys as though he was unsure. "I took one lesson before my father pulled me out of it. He said he didn't need people watching me. We owned a piano, but Father never let Mother teach me. He said he didn't need the racket...She wasn't that good though. She had taught herself to play, but couldn't read the music."

"Well, then do you wanna try?" asked Sakura with an encouraging smile. "I played when I was little, my Mom said my music calmed her down when she was sad."

"If I play, you have to play with me!" Bargained Gaara.

"Alright, but when we get back, you have to work with me on something very important, okay?" Gaara nodded, an answer to her question, and she sat down beside him on the small bench. He was near the lower notes, and her with the higher notes. "You start."

"OK..." murmured Gaara unsurely. His fingertips brushed across the keys, and he smiled to himself as remembering a great secret.

He tapped the keys uncertainly at first, the notes short and choppy. As he remembered the notes grew more complex, and smoother. His hands flew across his section of the piano, and he was careful note to intrude on her space.

Sakura realized with a start that she wasn't playing, and she let the harmony flow from her fingers. Gaara's playing was the frontrunner and she was backup. She didn't mind, she rather liked it this way, to share the spotlight for once.

Gaara's fingers were like a whirling mass of excitement, the tune so upbeat and psychotically happy that he seemed unable to contain himself.

"Wow, do you here that?" he heard people say.

"That's amazing!" laughed an elderly woman. "I haven't heard playing that good since I was a child!"

He almost laughed out for joy, his face cradling that gentle smile gracing his lips.

"Could you please, sir, " pleaded another older woman behind him, her wrinkled hand on his shoulder, "Play something slower. My husband and I would like to dance. We haven't danced to a live piano in so long."

Gaara stopped playing and turned, his face soft. He looked her in the face, and nodded, his eyes dancing.

He nodded with a smile, and turned back to the piano, and played a slower song, a love song. The old woman's face crinkled into a smile, and she trotted back to her husband as only an old lady can, and he took her hands.

They danced around the room, the soft lights lighting up her gray hair, and making it look light blonde.

Sakura smiled to herself as the older couple revolved slowly around and around in a large circle, the dance floor slowly filling with couples young and old alike.

She turned back and played along with Gaara, every so often glancing over at him. The smiled that she had recently grown to know seemed to be super glued to his face, that dammed crooked smile. The way it curved to one side of his face, the right more than the left, it was a half smile half smirk. It was contagious, and she found herself smiling as well.

She had realized a while ago that beneath all that hair there was actually a pair of eyebrows. They were very faint, the hair almost blonde, but she didn't find it strange. Oddly enough it seemed to suit him, just for that fact that it made him different.

She could hear him winding down to the end of the song, and she followed along, her fingers stretching to reach the keys for a dramatic yet appropriate ending.

She pulled her hands back and rested them in her lap, and tapped Gaara as the waitress came back with their food. He looked up with a rumble from his stomach, and she almost laughed. He was like a child, excited so by his food.

He stood quickly, and walked back to his seat much to the dismay of the dancers.

"We can play another song when we're done eating, right Gaara?" said Sakura loudly. Gaara nodded enthusiastically as he slurped a noodle, splashing Tsunade with marinara sauce. There were murmurs of appreciation at this knowledge.

Sakura pushed a portion of her food and a quarter of Tsunade's off onto another plate, and put it next to Gaara's. They were in search of his favorite food.

Everyone talked and laughed loudly, the restaurant filling with the good-natured-ness that it had been lacking minutes ago. Gaara was shoveling the food into his mouth, momentarily pausing to savor the food as if taking mental notes.

Sakura hurried along with her food as well, knowing that he wanted to play. It wasn't a big shocker to her that he was good at piano-he was good at everything. Her theory was that he was good at everything that he could do himself, like an eccentric engineer. But he couldn't bring himself to be good with people. He was only good with people who were as messed up as he was. She realized with a pang that it meant she might very well be a crazed individual, but then she shrugged. Everyone was some sort of crazy; others just chose not to show it.

* * *

She sat with next to him on the piano, watching as he tried to figure out what song to do.

"Do what you feel, Gaara." She said softly, her hand on his shoulder as she smiled at him. "You've got a whole life of material, use it for inspiration."

He smiled a little bit back at her, and let out a sigh. His fingers stretched and the flexed and he placed on them on the keys. A soft tune drifted through the air, and the clatter slowed and the chatter was silent. (Think of Leave Out All the Rest on Piano. Just a lot better! Lol. Look it up on youtube!)

He played out the song till the end, not even noticing that Sakura wasn't playing. His appointment was in half an hour, and they would have to leave soon, but he wasn't about to leave before his song was over. He finished, oblivious to the applause until he looked over at Sakura who was clapping She gave him a quick hug without warning, and nearly crushed him in the process.

"That was great!" she chirped in his ear.

"Uhm," Gaara started unsurely.

"Oh, yeah! You're doctor's appointment!" laughed Sakura.

Tsunade had already paid for the meal, much to Sakura's disappointment. She didn't like it when people paid for her. It made her feel useless.

She pulled her jacket on, and tightened her boots and Gaara did the same.

She was tired, but she pushed it to the back of her mind as she drove them back to the Institute. Tsunade was obviously too far-gone to drive. She smiled at that thought.

They made their way up to the fifth floor, where the regular clinic for the Institute patients went to when they got sick. They sat down side by side in the small waiting room, the chairs crammed together.

Sakura let her eyes droop, and she soon fell asleep in her chair. Her head tilted and she drooped sideways onto her neighbor's shoulder. The neighbor didn't move, but sifted give her more shoulder space. She hadn't been getting enough lately.

Gaara watched as the other patients played with the toys that had been left in there, as though they were children. He flinched back as a toy was flung at his face, and he didn't know what to do.

A hand easily caught the toy, and flung it back in the other direction. He narrowed his eyes at the short blonde being in front of him, watching as she reprimanded the child.

She plopped down next to him and immediately starting talking; the overflow of words giving him a migraine.

He sniffed softly to himself, reaching up to brush his nose. The younger girl grabbed his hand, and he froze tensely.

He laughed a little bit when she handed him the tissue, and Sakura lifted her head from his shoulder, and blinked a couple times. He looked at her for a second, and dangled the tissue in front of her face and she smiled. Her eyes were still tired, and after a second, her head plopped back down on his thin shoulder. She was already sleeping a second later.

**Author's Note- I know weird chapter! Bu they it's a little bit fluffier as requested, and I hope you like it! So read and review, enjoy it and love it! HAHHAHA ! I liked writing this!**


	23. Lost

The doctor had ordered the both of them more rest, and at the moment, Gaara was doing just that. He was beginning to use less and less medicine. She would give him on dummy pill, and then one real pill. This way, he was sleeping, and it was apparent to her that the nightmares were psychological. This was a good thing. It was a mixed joy. It meant that , no, he was not crazy, but yes, he was severely traumatized.

She was dehydrated, and needed to be drinking more, and eating more as well. She had been eating better in the last few days, with Gaara and Tsunade. She was still worried about how she was going to break it to Gaara that he would have to have to face his father.

She was going to have to do it in the next two days, but she didn't know how to do it. She would have to do it sooner or later, but she would rather later. She had gotten used to him being more normal than not, and yet, if she didn't tell him, he would probably figure it out. He would know something was wrong with her in the way that she did things.

"I'll do it when the time is right..." she muttured under her breath, her voice barely a whisper.

"Hmmuh?" breathed Gaara, his lips remaining parted after he'd spoken.

"Nothing, just thinking aloud." soothed Sakura.

She rubbed her temples with her forefingers. Her head was throbbing, the kind of pulsing sickening anxiousness coming back to her.

She sighed, and went back to her laptop and constructing a game plan for court. They were two weeks into November, the evenings getting shorter and shorter. Gaara demanded to be let out every day, and when it got dark, he would come inside, and go into the music room. He loved to play the piano in there, and a lot of patients would come watch him play. They loved it, and so did he.

She thought she might get him to record some of the songs for her. She had gotten him with the video camera on multiple occasions in the past month, she thought they might help his case in the court room.He was getting better everyday.

She began to nod, and soon she was sleeping. She was tired all the time lately, she never felt like she was fully awake.

* * *

"What?" his face was stricken. "No-!"

"Gaara, if you ever want to get out of here, you have to do this, he won't be able to hurt you. I'm sure Bo wouldn't mind being your bodyguard." Sakura tried to reach out and touch him, but he smacked her hand away furiously."Don't be mad at me, I'm trying to help you!"

"Really, are you? It seems to me like everything you do seems to make my life harder! It was easier to just be stuck in here, and just not expect anything. But now, what if i don't win? if i get my hopes up- what if I don't-"

"Don't Gaara, just don't! I know you're going to get out of here. " Sakura smiled.

He sighed, and shook his head uncertainly. He grabbed his coat from the chair, and shoved his arms through it.

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk." he said shortly. "Helps clear my head." he said pointing to his head with a finger.He turned and walked down the hall, raising a hand as if to say good-bye. She stared after him angrily, how could he just walk away?

* * *

He wandered aimlessly, his feet carrying him into uncharted territory. It didn't occur to him that he had left the Institute's territory, he just kept wandering. He paid no attention to where he was going, but focused rather on nothing. A very specific nothing, the nothing he was concentrating on was so mundane it forced him not to think at all. He started back when it was visibly dark, and he realized with a start that he was lost. He turned around and took off, hoping that if he would get back to where he had come from. He ran for a long time, the wind stinging on his cheeks. His legs grew heavy, and tired after a long while, and he slowed to a walk. He was growing cold, chilled to the bone. He wanted to get back. He missed his bed, and the warmness of the place. It might have seemed cold before, but now he craved its simple heat.

The sun had almost set, and he was growing anxious. He could hear something in the distance but he wasn't sure what it was. Never the less, he ran toward it. It grew louder on his ears as he ran toward it, the wind blowing it to him. He saw a wisp of pink, and his heart skipped. Maybe he was saved...

But it was not. It was a strange pink bag stuck to a tree billowing in the breeze. But the sound carried to him seemed definitely human. With a start he realized that the wind might have carried it to him from a different direction. He tried to see the way the wind was blowing, but it was blowing in circles about him, whipping him left and right. He ran an un-gloved hand through his hair, sighing with a panicked edge.

He yelled out, no words, simply a loud cry for help. His head was throbbing, the cold pounding against his head increasing the numbing pain. Anxiety gave him headaches.

It was dark and he could not see, the moon was hiding. It peeked out occasionally, but not ever enough to see in a decent light.

He heard a different voice this time, but he yelled out again. He tried to judge the distance and direction,and he wandered toward it. It was growing louder, and he yelled out again. His voice was failing, refusing to be coaxed from the warmth of his throat.

He heard it again, definitely close, and he perked up once more. He wrenched a shout from his throat, and he cried out again in pain when he fell down, tripping over his own numb feet. He picked himself back up and kept on, almost crying in relief when he saw Tsunade and Sakura wandering around, shouting out his name. Bo was with them as well, his face drawn with worry. He let out a feeble shout, and yet they turned away.

"No... No wait! Come back!" he whispered. "Hey!"

They didn't turn around, and his heart sank. They hadn't heard him. He turned looking for something to make a loud noise with.

Gaara grabbed a hold of a tree branch, and wrenched it from the tree with a loud crack .It was heavy in his hands, the dead wood soaked with snow and wet. He flung it against the tree, and it hit loudly, with a dull THOCK!! The others turned, and yelled out at him, he looked up in time to see another branch fall, and he jumped out of harms way just in time.

Sakura yanked him into an almost vicious hug, and then smacked him across the face.

"If you _ever_ do that again, I swear to God!" And then she hugged him again. "Ok, let's go back before you freeze to death!"

"I didn't mean to get lost, Sakura!" His voice was low and hoarse, his face pleading.

"I know. " And she did. She smiled, and pulled off her gloves. She wiggled them onto his hands, his fingers stretching out the fabric of the gloves. His hands were much bigger than hers. "Now, save your voice, or you'll lose it completely."

He nodded, and they led him back to the Insitute, the wind whipping them senselessly.

Gaara welcomed the warm, comforting glow of the fire in the lobby. Tsunade handed him a cup of cocoa, and he let himself drowse in front of the fire. Sakura played the piano in the corner, and soon Gaara was asleep on the sof t couch in the lobby. It wasn't meant for sleeping, but what could you do?

Bo hook an elbow under Gaara's knees and one under his head. Gaara stirred but he simply murmured a shhhh... of comfort,and Gaara drifted back into sleep. He was too young to be Gaara's real father obviously, but that didn't matter. He was like Gaara's adopted father. If that scumbag couldn't take care of him like a real father, he sure as hell would.

**Author's Note- What are good English names for the characters? I am thinking Sarah for Sakura. I need help with Gaara and Tsunade. Would be appreciated. i am nto going to change the story, but I would like to copy this into a book, and keep it that way, and have it like a regular book. So... XD Would be appreciated. Thanks, read and review**! love it and Enjoy it!

Lauren/Mellokai


	24. Parents from Afar

**Thoughts from Marie...**

Sometimes she liked to imagine he was there, next to her. _But, _she thought to herself, _wherever he'd been sent he was better off with them than with me... Even if-_ she broke the thought off simply for want of not thinking it. She focused on bringing the painting in front of her to life, livening up the horizon with colorful strokes of genius. She had been too young, and starting her career... Surely wherever her little boy had gone had been better for the time being, when he had lived.

Her father had signed the boy off when she had nearly died giving birth to him. It had not been her signature on those papers, but no one other than him knew that at the time. Marie had been told that he had been seized by the hospital and child services as they found her unfit and underage, unable to care for a child under such circumstances.

She had loved that child the moment she had seen him, the blazing red hair and piercing sky blue eyes.

She tugged absently at a strand of her own startlingly red hair, remember the child hood taunts of being called "Bloody Marie". To be honest, she had kind of liked that name as a child, it made her different. Before she had discovered her talent in the fine arts, she had been a plane Jane, with no special talents known to her name.

She had held him but once, cradling him close to her, humming a lullaby that she had hummed to him for months when he was still in the womb. And then he was gone, plucked from her arms like a feather from a chicken.

She had been running from the nightmares of her past for nearly 24 years, and she was beginning to grow angry.

Why _her _son? She had done wrong, not he. She knew she should not have been mad at God, but it just seemed so wrong.

When she was younger, off and on at his second birthday, and then everyday starting six years after his birth, when she'd gotten the call say he'd died "tragically and inocently" , she'd starting preying. She'd prey to every god she could think of, hoping that somehow he was alive. Her family had never been religious, but she had been, inspite of her actions.Everyday she prayed for that child to bre safe from harm. To this day she continued praying in the simply hope that he lived a better than she believed, or rather had lived.

She'd never even had the chance to name him...She had wondered what his name had been, but... it hurt her to do so. To think of him, and what could have possibly but had never been. tom imagine him with another family, laughing and having a great time, never knowing of his real mother and father... To imagine such was torture... they had told her it would get better over time, but it didn't. In truth it had gotten worse, and she had been obsessed with him for the past three months. She had even hired a Private investigator to hunt down the parents, so she could see his grave and pay respects. It was the least she could do...

She now had three children of her own, the oldest was sixteen. Cara, short for Caroline. For a teenage, she was rebellious by _not_ going out as her parents begged her to. Marie loved reverse psychology.

Benjamin, who had aquired the permanent name Benji at school somehow, was a fiesty one, but kind and caring as well. The kind and caring part of his soul was derived of his mother, and the lively, mischevious streak from his father. He and Cara had both inherited the red hair and blue eyes from their parents, though Cara wore hers long, and Benji wore his as most thirteen year olds would. Longish medium, with the tips brushing over his ears and eyebrows. Both their eyebrows were thin and almost blonde, a peculiar dominant trait in the Sabaku family ( hint hint they have the same name!!)

Ella, age three, however, had the same blood red hair as her mother. She had her father's blue eyes and defiant chin. She could be a witch when she threw her infamous temper tantrums; yet, if you were in her good graces, ;you'd have sworn you'd died in your sleep in met an angel. She was so cute and cuddly, catering to every three year old accesible need.

Russel, her husband had soft blue green eyes and hair that was a little more brown that red when he stood next to her. He was the most caring, thoughtful person she knew, even after being married since eighteen. He still surprised her with chocolates and romantic walks on the beach and through the park for Valentine's day and her birthday.

She groaned inwardly at the thought. She would be forty-one in two months...She'd had her first son when she was sixteen and a half. She brushed the thought from her mind like a leaf from a lawn, crumpling it and tossing it into her mental garbage bag of undesired "leaves".

Her eyes grew heavy as the sun set lower and lower int eh sky.

Her husband found her sleeping heavily on the lawn chair; her paint brush had smudged dark reds and pinks onto her cheeks and nose, and it looked like she had a colorful goatee.

He laughed and shook her awake gently with a hand on her thin shoulder. She sat up and sighed. She knew it was too late to kiss Benji and the girls goodnight.

Russel helped her clean up and put everything away, for which she was completely and utterly thankful. Whoever said young love was dumb love was an idiot. Love knows no age, it simply loves.

**A Call for Russel...**

Marie didn't feel good the next morning, so Russel put his work in progress down and helped get the kids off to school, and made her breakfast "on the couch", for she was laying on the couch where he could keep an eye on her and keep and eye on her from his office.

He was working on a song. He was a composer, an author of sorts, and on occasion, an artist. He used to write stories for the children when they were little. He had given his vows in song, the words flowing like magic, perfectly woven together with his voice and the magic of his mind.

She kept the garbage can close to her as she dozed on the couch, Russel every so often covering her back up whenever she forgot to or was too tired to.

Ella was quiet, careful not to disturb her momma, all the while fiercely appreciated by her father.

e worked while she slept, humming almost silently to himsel; the music was more in his mind than coming from his mouth.At least, not yet. He wrote it down on a music staph on his sheet of paper, the notes flowing from his hand in jagged yet somehow smooth notes.

A ring from the telephone in the kitchen interrupted his work.

He jumped up to grab it, and then scowled with disgust.

"Look kid, she doesn't like you! If you call here again-"CLICK !! The line went dead. He shook his head and sank back into his chair in his office. That kid had been bugging his daughter for almost a month now. He was in love with her, but she was totally not interested.

He eyed his reflection in the mirror, wondering absently how long the light lines in his face and features had been there. He had slight laughlines, and a browline from furrowing his brows in though so oftenly.

He actually hadn't changed that much, the lines were barely evident. At forty one and three-quarters, he looked a remakable thirty-two, if that.

He turned to look at his youngest, who was flipping through a huge scetch book his wife had done.He watched as she flipped the pages almost bigger than she, the pages making an awkward swishing sound as they brushed against her.

With a start he realized they were all of the same person, a child.He recognized him from the photo the agecy had sent them when they found out he had died. She was obviously hurting...

With a pang of regret, Russel wished he told her to go, made her go...

He'd beenin the hospital with a bad case of the flu and she'd hinted at wanting to go. But her mother had begged her to stay,and Marie had vocally rationalized that her he was sick, and that her mother and father were sick and needed her as well, and there was no way they could afford it, not with all the hospital bills...

He wondered what the little boy in the picture would look like if he were still alive. Would he be tall and muscular, or short and lean... It was physically impossible to be anything other than slim and/or fit. Their metabolisms didn't allow it. His family was loud and rambunctious if they were left to their own, it seemed impossible for them to sit still and be quiet unless the moment called for it. Ella was still quiet on her spot in the middle of the floor. He studied her, pushing the painful thoughst from his mind. He didn't want to think about it...

* * *

The kids were home from school now, the usual loud chatter and fighting between Cara and Benji was an easy distraction. Marie was awake on the couch, the puking slowly ebbing, and now she was watching TV.

Russel set to making her favorite dinner, yet another of his talents. His family was talented even at being talented. They seemed to be good at everything.

The phone rang reverbrate throughout the kitchen, and he answered it after a few rings.

"Look kid! Cara _does not like you!_" he barked.

"I'm sorry is this a bad time?" asked a young female voice hesitantly.

"Oh, Good Lord, I am sorry! i though you were someone- well you know kids!" He laughed sheepishly.

then kindly requested what they needed him. Behind him, Cara and Benji were sitting at the table expectantly, waiting for their food. Their mother had come in and was setting the table while Ella wailed at her end of the table.

"You're son-"

"What did Beji do now?" asked Russel glaring across the room at his son playfully.

"No, no , your other son, Gaara." Gaara... The name rung through his head like a bong in an open feild, shattering the quiet calm with a loud pulsing. He had found out his name!

"Are you still there sir?"

"Y-yes, I am still here." breathed Russel.

"Well, he's making an-"

"He's alive?"

"What do you mean alive? Of course he's alive!" said the woman angrilly.

"They told us-"

"It doesn't matter what they told you, but we need you to come out and help us. Gaara is appealing to get removed to the regular psychiatric wards, from his U-level cell. But contrary to how this sounds, he is _not_ crazy. It's a long story." rushed the girl.

"Then why..." trailed Russel. He was white, and everyone in the kitchen was staring at him nervously. He hardly ever paled.

"As I told you, it's a _long_ story... I can give you the address and you can come see him and we'll fill you in on the whoe thing."

Russel and the girl confirmed a date, and he was told that when he visited he was to tell the receptionist there to see Gaara as requested by Vera.

"Won't she need last name?"

"No, he is well known here in the Institute," said the woman, "When did they tell you died, exactly?"

"About six years after Marie's father signed him off!"

"Her father? Did he sign without her knowledge?"

"Yes, he told us when they sent us the card with his picture, informing us of his "tragic death!""

"Wow, Anyway, when Gaara supposedly died as they told you, he was admitted to a mental hospital by his adopted father."

"Well, we'll be out as soon as we can, I promise him that."

"Thank you Mr.Sabaku."

"Wait- does he have my last name still?"

"Yes, sir. By coincedence, the families have the same last name. Lucky you."

"Thanks..." Click.

"They found him?" Asked Marie nervously. She'd been listening.

"Yeah..." Russel leaned against the wall, exhausted.

**Author's Note- HEY! I hope you liked it, sorry for not posting in a while been busy...**

BTW, Gaara's name will be Liam, Tsunadetara, SakuraSarah, SasukeSteven. Temari and Kankuro Tallie and Kevin, and I think thats it. Thanks! Read and review!

Lauren/Mellokai

P.S. My b-day is on the tenth! Of October! Which is in like...four days! YAY! WOOT WOOT! Where are those chapters you guys promised me??


	25. Ebbing

The thoughts of apprehensive and nervousness pounded against the insides of his skull like a rabid do trying desperately to escape from a chained up prison, snapping and biting.

He sighed, and almost jumped when his wife placed a tender hand on his shoulder, the other on the back of his seat in the car. He sighed, and placed his hand on top of hers, his smilel still not returning,however.

"Come on, Dad," Cara pleaded," Can we see him already? I finally get to meet someone cool! I mean, I never thought I'd know anyone-"

"Cara!" Snapped Benji, after getting a glance at his father."You're not helping!"

Ella unbuckled herself from her car seat, and crawled up to the front of the car, and plopped herself on her father's lap.

"Daddy can we go in, please? I wanna meet my brother!" she smiled her perfect toddler smile, and when he nodded she shrieked with joy, and threw her hands around her fathers chest, trying to hug the big man.He smiled when she had to stretch her arms, and he kissed her on top of the head.

"Alright, let's go meet him..." he sighed, opening the door.

"YAY!" squealed Ella, holding her hand up for a hihfive, which her father wholeheartedly returned.

The walk seemed to stretch on forever from the parking lot to the front door. When they reached the door, Marie and Russel found themselves trembling, and wishing that they were walking back to their car.

When they reached the front door, the aging security officer smiled a smile that seemed to have been battered with age, and he opened the door with a smooth fluid motion.

"The whole Institute is expecting you. this is the best gossip they've had in years. But, don't worry. You and Gaara will do fine!" he half barked after them, his voice delightfully gruff. Ella giggled at the sound of his voice, marveling at how it seemed to jump and skip through the air like a ball on a court.

They stopped at the receptionist's desk, and when she tried to ignore them and continue talking to her boyfriend, Cara amazed her parents.

"Put the damn phone down! And go get the doctors now! We are here to see someone, and if I don't see that doctor in two minutes, I swear to all that is holy- I will get you FIRED!" The other families in the waiting room clapped, for they knew what a pain the receptionist could be.

Cara blushed suddenly, realizing she what she had done. Her mother and father stared at her, and then her mother hugged her to her.

"Honey, I have never loved you more!" she laughed, hugging her daughter tightly.

* * *

The room was bright, a little to bright for Gaara's taste; his eyes were used to a slightly darker climate.But nonetheless, he painted on, looking as normal as any of the Institute's patients can. He sighed every so often, ever so softly.

He was waiting, and waiting, and even waiting some more. They were a little late, he checked the rectangular digital clock on the wall, five minutes and twenty six seconds. Now it was five minutes and twenty six, twenty-seven, and so on and so on. He wrenched his gaze from the wall, knowing that it would only make it seem longer. The other patient in the room giggled to herself, and Gaara glanced over at her.

"Look, doesn't he look funny?" she laughed, brushing her hair back childishly with a palm from her face. The way she was so easily amused seemed to bother Gaara slighlty, but he said nothing of it.

"You know, if you..." He trailed off as he worked on the doll, his paint brush moiving slowly across the smooth wooden face . They were oddly disfigured, the features on the face. Whoever painted them had _not _been going for a look suited to a child. But then what would use expect of toys made in a mental institution...

This was the arts and crafts room, and it was for a specific purpose to make arts, crafts, and things of like sorts. Many a thing were made here, and many a thing ruined. But, also, there was many a thing repaired and recycled.

The face was not sad anymore, but smiling with dignity. It looked almost real, as if the wood would begin to creak and moan, and play a game or two with her.

She smiled happily, and hugged the doll to her, thanking him, after a moment pulling it away when she realized that it might smudge.

"Yes, I think it might be best to wait for a little while before you play with little Lucy again."

"How did you know I like to call her Lucy?" she asked with childlike surprised delight.

"Oh, I just know!" he smiled, and then he laughed."She certainly looks like a Lucy!"

He was smiling and telling her this when they walked in, their coats still wrapped snugly around them, as if they were still freezing.

But in all reality it was quite warm, a little too warm. Gaara felt the blush creeping into his neck and face as he realized who they were, and he quickly put his head down, embarrassed. He knew why they'd come, Sakura had explained it to him, and he was ashamed. He didn't tell her, but he felt as though he'd done something wrong or they wouldn't have given him, given him away.

The blush had burned its way onto the back of his neck, and it was visible where his hair didn't cover it, which was most of it.

He drew with concentration, his eyes following the features, and slowly he began to forget them. A voice over his shoulder startled him out of his calm.

"That's really good!" Her voice was matured, but not completely. He turned to look, to properly examine her for longer than the one second previous look. Her hair was red on her shoulders, long, and her eyes took him aback. They were blue like his, and he realized that they were unsettling. He wondered absently if this was how people felt when they looked at him.

He nodded, slowly, a little late to reply. He breathed out through his nose, one of the calming techniques Tsunade had taught him. Gaara looked across the table, his eyes searching their features. He was slightly taken aback, he hadn't expected them to look like _this. _They were beautiful, not the kind of people you'd think would just leave their child behind.

"Hello, Gaara." whispered the woman nervously, her hands were resting heavily on the table, the knuckles white as she unconsciously wrung her hands.

"Mm?" he sighed as he pulled a new paper to the table. He sharpened his charcoal pencil then glanced back up as his mother spoke again.

"We're so sorry." She didn't reach for his hands, and she was glad he didn't. He wondered if Sakura had told her he didn't like being touched.

"Mhm." he glanced back down, watching carefully as his hand swerved and jerked; ebbed and flowed. They watched, and then withdrew. He could see out of the corner of his eyes as they turned to look at each other, almost sad with pity and despair.

"It's not so bad in here, you know." He saw loftily, without glancing up.

"Oh..." Breathed his mother. His voice was much different from his father's edgy almost rough voice. His was smooth, with only the rough undertones of manliness. "Our baby boy grew all up without us!"

Gaara didn't know what to say so he said nothing. He looked up at her now, and then back down at his paper. He was fealing increasingly guilty, but then he remembered something.

"Oh, Russel, how could he?"

"What?" asked Gaara, suddenly angered. "How could _I_? How could _you_? You gave me up, threw me out like yesterday's trash, and then never bothered to check up on me!" he slammed the pencil down on the table, his face taut,blinking his eyes furiously, as he struggled not to cry, not in front of _them. _They were _traitors_.

"We _never _wanted to give you up!" retorted his mother vehemanently.

"HA! Well that didn't stop you did it?" spat Gaara angrilly." You left me and never looked back! I bet you'd forgotten all about me!"

"My father signed you off, not me! Not a day went by I didn't think about you, didn't pray for you! I loved you Gaara! I never came after you because they told me you died!" she was standing now, her tiny frame trembling with the unshed tears.

Gaara sank back down into his chair, his anger fading like sand in a small hourglass. It drifted away, from the deep pit of repressed feelings, and then simply dissapated and then disapeared all together. He was free of one thing at least...

"So you never even... Wanted to?" He asked slowly, looking her earnesly in the eyes, not bothering to stop the single tear that teetered on the brim of his eyelid.

"No, honey! I wanted you everyday!" And then she took him in her arms, and his father hugged him as well. Gaara sat almost numbly, slowly absorbing the moment. It was what he had always wanted, wasn't it?

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Sakura stepped back from the two-way glass, away from Gaara and his family, and smiled at the other doctors.

"Now that went well didn't it?"

**Author's Note- How did you like it?? If you would like to see the Americanized version of the song, then just pm me and ask me for the link! XD I think you might like it! I need reviews on that one to get people to read it so it would help. ALSO happy or sad ending?? I need help! I am planning for sad, but could be swayed if enough people vote for it. SO VOTE OR BE FORGOTTEN! Well Read it and review it , and enjoy it and love it! It's my B-Day! Where are those chaps?? COME ON! PLEASE?? a bunch of my friends told mah happy birthday, what about you guys?**

Lauren/Mellokai


	26. Opening Arguements

The gavel banged down on its little block as the judge brought the loud murmuring to a halt; his face calm, impassive, and impartial. It was an old face; wizened with time and hardships; weathered and beaten like the faithful baseball glove of a young boy. White hair combed neatly back, with a small beard gracing his lower jaw; he looked a possible candidate for Santa Clause, his sparkling eyes young for years. The watery blue of his eyes got Gaara's, and he nodded knowledgeably. Gaara nodded back. His shoulders sagged slightly forward in his chair; tired yet dignified. He was slightly rounded slightly, a possible grandfather.

Gaara wondered absently if he had a granfather, a real one of his own blood. His father, his real one, gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before leaving him to sit in the audience. Gaara moved forward, Sakura and Tsunade at either arm. They sat at the table to their right,to the judge's left. He didn't dare a glance over at the man supposed to be his father. He had seen him outside the court room, and he didn't believe his eyes. The man he saw before him was not the man he remember perfectly.

His hair was short, and perfectly sculpted into a nice part. His suit was fresh and pressed, perfectly pleated and creased. He carried himself easily, yet Gaara had caught the slightly off composure. He knew his old "father" was hiding somewhere in there, the angry raging man. He shuddered to himself, and ran a hand through his hair absently, an acquired habit.

"Gaara, you're mussing your hair!" fretted Tsunade, licking her fingers and smoothing it back into place.Gaara grimaced slightly.

"I'm not a kid, you know." muttered Gaara, smoothing it down himself.

"I know, I'm just nervous..." confessed Tsunade, "Believe it or not, I've been waiting for this day for as long as you have! I never wanted you to be stuck in that place. No place for a child, it is not..."

"You've haven't been drinking have you? You seem... Very worried. You don't worry when you don't drink." surveyed Sakura.

"Yeah. This may seem weird, but if I don't drink _too_ much, it seems to sharpen everything just that much." Tsunade held up a hand to signify how much, and Sakura and Gaara nodded.

The court room was hushed, and it was only then that Gaara's heart started to race.

"You're fine Gaara, just focus on something else," whispered Sakura in his ear.

He sighed, and pulled out a piece of paper, and a pencil. He started drawing the judge, curving the lines of his face slowly.

"Your honor, are you going to allow him to draw like an infantile while we carry on courtroom proceedings?" demanded his "father"'s lawyer incredilously.

"Your honor, it calms him down! He's just a little nervous is all!" countered Sakura angrily, "That is perfectly normal, and he has a right-"

"That is enough Miss Haruno," smiled the judge, his eyes understanding."You have proven you're point, and I understand that stress in such cases is normal. And, " he chuckled to himself," that is an excellent portrait!"

The defense attorney let out a huff of indignant breath and scowled, sitting down.

Gaara looked up at the judge and beamed, his face flowing into the smile that suited him best; the natural real one Sakura had grown accustomed to.

The judge banged the gavel once more, and Sakura gave the bailiff the necessary papers.The room was relatively quiet as the judge read through them, and when he looked up at the man sitting to his right, he rose a brow. He nodded and the bailiff accepted his papers,and gave them to the judge once more.

Gaara made more adjustments to his picture, and when he looked up again for reference of what the desk looked like, he noticed that the judge's name was clearly displayed on a plaque.

Judge Jeremiah A. Jefferson.

Gaara scrunched his face up in concentration as he painstakingly penciled them in. He smudged the color ever so carefully, his face relaxing with the hard work over.

The Judge Jefferson cleared his throat and Gaara looked up.

"Alright, now, may I have opening argument from the plaintiff?" The jury murmured at this, their voices loud on Gaara's ears. The "jury" consisted of the Medical Board, and a few random people to even out the scale.

"Errr-rrrm." Sakura cleared her throat, and stood up.

Gaara fazed out as she began to speak, his world folding back into his small square, where he drew shaded so he would not have hear, not have to know.

He zoned in to check on her, and see where she was.

"Gaara is bright, he's kind, and loving! He can turn an empty canvas into a work of art, and he inspires love and happiness in the residents of our Institution. As of late, he has improved substantially, and has passed all mental stability tests with flying colors! In the past few months of my working with him, I have been able to find solace in working with him, and I cherish every moment. He even brought a man out of a long period of severe depression. I'm sure that you can accept him, and welcome him into your hearts. He does _not _belong in a mental Institution! He is perfectly capable of living outside the facilities, and with prolonged therapy, and even medication he can survive outside of Konoha's Institute for the Mentally Unsound!"

Gaara smiled to himself, relieved. She had made a good impression, he could tell.

"Now, the defense may rise and give his defending opening argument." spoke Judge Jefferson.

"Thank you, your honor." murmured the man as he collected himself, closing his file. He stood up, his face considering something. He rocked back and forth on his heels, then tucked the pen in his hand into his breast pocket.

"Now, Gaara Sabaku is supposedly capable of living outside the Institution? Well if that were the case, I would gladly oblige, and not have accepted this case. I, too, have an agenda, and I understand some of your discomforts at being pulled away from home and work." He walked towards them, glancing cooly at Gaara who leaned slightly back, neutrally.

"But, Gaara Sabaku is not the kind-hearted artistic being you have been led to be. This man is a cold hearted killer, not the so called "bright, kind, and loving" individual Miss Haruno has depicted. He killed his mother at the age of five, a seemingly impossible task for a five year old, I know. But, nonetheless, true-"

"I object your honor! That is not true, and I have reliable evidence to prove it!" Blurted Sakura, rising from her chair.

"Noted.The jury will now be permitted to view this evidence."

"Your honor , there _is _no such evidence! I have the police reports in my file!"

"The mathematical work done by the police department is bogus! I have mathematically reconfigured the notes taken from the scene, checked and double checked again! There is no possible way that Gaara could have killed her, whether she was lying down as the police report so _vaguely_ suggests! Even if he jumped of of something there is no way he could have gained enough momentum or strength to have stabbed her hard enough to kill her!"

"I want her math checked, for all we know she could have-"

"Mr.Randall! We will not have such slander in my courtroom! Unless you can control yourself, sit back down!"

"I'm sorry, Judge Jefferson." nodded Mr.Randall. "Back to the point, Gaara Sabaku, regardless of the imformation we just discussed, is not innocent by any means. While in the Insitution, he managed to murder another inma--resident, and severely wound an Institute worker, and Miss Haruno herself. This man is a murderer,nonetheless, and we do not want him on the streets where our loved ones could be harmed. Nothing further your honor!" And then he sat down, casting Gaara a smug cool glance as he passed by.

"Now, let the jury be noted that the mathmetical calculations will be looked over by a trust collegue of mine. Thank you for your time. The court will reconvine in about an hour." Wih another bang of the gavel, the court was released.

**Author's Note- You like? Going to tie the story up soon! :D After this I may continue with a different naruto story I have or just write a new psychology story! :D Thanks! read and review, and head over to fiction press and find my story Liam's Story! :D I hope you like it! I have the same penname as i do on here ! :D  
**

Mellokai...Lauren!


	27. Ever So Slightly

Gaara nervously picked through his lunch, his face downcast. The bright dim light of the Italian restruant across the street of the Court House cast shadows across his saddened features.

"I'm scared... What if they don't let me out? I don't want to be stuck in there forever!" murmured Gaara, and Tsunade patted him motherly on the back.

"It'll all work out Gaara! You'll see!" soothed Tsunade, pulling away slightly as his new-found mother wrapped her arms around him and hugged im tightly.

"Do you promise?" he whispered, his voice hushed and low with fear.

Tsunade debated for a moment, a firm believer in not lying to the ones that she loved. She didn't want to lie to him if she couldn't guarantee the outcome...

"Yes, Gaara, I promise, " she whispered, a small smile tugging her aging lips into a grandmotherly smile.

He let out a breath, and his mother smiled thankfully at Tsunade.

Gaara slurped up a noodle then, and Tsunade held up her towel to keep from getting sauce on her light blouse.She laughed, and so did everyone else. It was out relief, and an effort to lighten the atmosphere. And it worked.

* * *

"Now Miss Haruno, is it true that you are Gaara's doctor?"

"Yes, but for the first eighteen years of his life, Tsunade was." confirmed Sakura calmly.

"And is it true that while under her care, he was moody and withdrawn?"

"Yes, sir, but may I ask where you are going with this?" asked Sakura quizzically.

"Why, may I ask, in a matter of months did he seem to open up to you, rather than in the period of eighteen years with Mrs.Tsunade?"

"We have different methods," began Sakura, "Tsunade would continually pursue an answer, and this would intimidate him, for lack of a better word. I have learned that if he doesn't want to answer, I simply drop it after some gentle prodding. And then I can come back to it later when he is more comfortable and ready for such a question."

"Mhm," Mr.Randall paused, then turned around and walked slowly back to his table. "Now, here it says that you graduated second in your class, yes?"

"Yes." answered Sakura narrowing her eyes.

"Now, why my I ask are you staying with Tsunade?"

"My boyfriend of the time, Sasuke, whom I was living with was abusive and overbearing. Sasuke and I are separated, and I no longer felt the desire to be near him." retorted Sakura.

"But it's been months, why haven't you moved out? Were you even upset when Gaara attacked Sasuke?"

"I haven't moved out because any attempt to do so has been foiled by Tsunade, who obviously does not wish I leave. And yes, at the time I did care and was greatly upset. But I don't see what this has to do with the case!" She narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms angrily over her chest.

"Yes, Mr.Randall, where are you going with this?"

"I have a point your honor." confirmed Mr.Randall.

"Well I think that all of us would like you to make it." Judge Jefferson said calmly, sitting forward in his chair.

"Alright, you honor. Now, Miss Haruno, is it true that you didn't punish Gaara attacking Mr.Uchiha?"

"There is no punishment possible for his actions, for he was already in the worse place the Institution could put him. And Sasuke was truly at fault here. He wasn't even supposed to be down there, _he _was breaking laws, rules, and regulations by being down there as well! He was not down there in good terms, either. He was there simply to see me suffer. Gaara was a different person then. " Sakura sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. "I thought maybe Sasuke was changed, but he was not. He is still the vindictive, spiteful man I knew him to be, and that is why I am no longer with him. Did you know that he ifact tried to kill Gaara only a short while later? I think that should be noted to the jury as well!"

"No further questions your honor," sighed Mr.Randall seemingly defeatedly.

"Hello, Sakura," breathed Tsunade nervously.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes, I would expect anyone to be nervous at this moment!" laughed Sakura shakily.

"Alright, now when you first met Gaara what was your impression?"

"I was kind of shocked. He looked angry, at first, but there was something in his eyes, something deeper. I did not know who he was or even his record. I was struck by him though, and could not shake him from my thoughts. He looked like he needed help."

"And, at what point were you given the case?"

"When you felt you could no longer care for him, for he was getting no where with you. You said you thought he could do better with me. You needed to move on and gain closure from you past, and letting go of Gaara would help you to do that."

"Sakura, do you believe Gaara is still a danger to himself?"

"No, actually, I do not. He is off of his medication almost completely. He is sleeping on his own, no longer an insomniac, and he only takes anti-depressants, and vitamins. He is one of our more stable residents, actually." declared Sakura proudly.

"Nothing further!" smiled Tsunade triumphantly.

"You're honor, may I re-question the witness?"

"I don't see why not." drawled Judge Jefferson, and Sakura internally shuddered.

"One of your more stable patients?" he asked arrogantly, a look of fake concern plastered to his white skin.

"Yes, one of more stable ones." confirmed Sakura carefully, her wary glance like one that you'd give a snake coiled and ready to spring.

"So, there are more stable patients than him _not _being released?" You could hear the triumph in his voice as he knew he had won.

"No."

"What do you mean no?" The triumph was gone, anger replacing it.

"No. The others have already had their scheduled releases. There are some less stable being released to their families, with strict contracts biding them to ensure their family member gets their medicine and goes to therapy." Sakura did a dance in her mind. She had jumped, and the snake's bite had missed from afar.

"But, nonetheless, he is not the most stable in the compound?"

"No, he is not. But he is perfectly able to be released. His only mental ailment is the fact that is severely traumatized from his time with Mr.Sabaku. But, therapy will help with that along with family." Sakura looked at Gaara who was drawing with a determined expression on his face, his face serene, the hint of smile turning up the sad corners of his mouth.

"Family? You just claimed that Mr.Sabaku severely traumatized the boy! Are you saying he would be released to his father?" argued Mr.Randall incredulously.

"No, I would never subject Gaara to that! He is going home with his rightful family, his blood relatives! He was adopted, but then Mr.Sabaku bothered to mention that did he?"

"Is this true Mr.Sabaku?" asked Judge Jefferies sternly.

"Yes, sir. It is. I forgot."

"How convenient." remarked the judge dryly, " Next time you withhold information from your lawyer, you will be in contempt of court!"

He nodded meagerly, and lowered his head. His cheeks were flushed, presumably from the rush of blood from his face to his hands which gripped the sides of his seat fiercely as he tormented the chair with his anger. His eyes, however, were shamed, and a deep-seated pain seemed to bee contained there. Sakura winced slightly, ever so slightly.

"Nothing further." Mr.Randall said stoutly.

"You may now call your next witness, Miss Haruno."

"Russell Sabaku, will you know take the stand?"

**Author's Note- I know this is short, but these chapters will be short! Unless I combine them or something, but they are coming quickly, so enjoy them while this spurt of creativity lasts!**


	28. Wanted

Judge Jefferson leaned back into his chair, both groaning with age. He sighed, and then motioned for Sakura to proceed, and her heart thudded against her rib cage, threatening to break them.

She smiled encouragingly at Russel, and he tried to smile, but could not.

"Mr.Sabaku, when you and your wife were sixteen, is it true that you got her pregnant?" Russel's face was shocked, he hadn't been expecting her to be so... against him.

"Yes, but we wanted to keep the baby from the moment we knew."

"Oh, so..." Sakura paused for emphasis, "Did you decide when the baby was born that you did not want him anymore?"

"No! I wanted that baby, and so did she!"said Russel angrily.

"So, how did it come to be that Gaara was to be adopted? I mean, if you wanted the child than surely-"

"Her father signed him off for her! We didn't know until it was too late to find out baby boy!" Russel's eyes glistened with tears, and he furiously gripped the edge of his edge of his chair. "I wanted that child; I wanted him more than anything! Don't you dare insinuate that I didn't love him! Not a day goes by I don't think about him, a day I didn't wonder if he was alive, hope and pray for his sake that he was somewhere safe!"

"Thanks you,Rusell," smiled Sakura. She had achieved what she wanted. To show the jury emotion. Her voice was soft now,"So, how did you feel when you found out he was alive, and that we needed you to appear for court?"

"I was overjoyed, but ..."

"But what?"

"I was terrified of facing him after all these years..." admitted Russel slowly, gazing at his hands that set laced firmly in his lap. "I was sure he would have thought we had abandoned him on purpose. I didn't know if I could face him..."

"But you came anyway, right?"

"Yes, and thank God I did."

"What were your first impressions of Gaara?"

"That he was definitely our son. he had the same hair, the same- everything! He was beautiful, and he was..." he paused searching for a moment for the right word, "Perfect."

"Did he seem erational to you?"

"He was nervous but oterh than that he was fine." confirmed Rusell with a sigh. "When you said he was in the Institution I feared the worst, but this is the best I could've hoped for! He is not crazy, I know it in my heart!"

"Nothing further your honor!" beamed Sakura proudly.

"Mr.Sabaku, are you a doctor?" asked Mr.Randall loftily, as he looked at his case file for a moment longer, "Because it clearly states in the case file that you are a... Artist? And composer?"

"No, I am not a doctor, " said Russel evenly.

"So, you mean that you actually have no medical knowledge of whether or not Gaara is mentally disturbed? Or did you spend time in medical school that we don't know about?"

"No, sir, I do not, but I know it anyway. I can feel it."

"Right. You expect us to believe what you feel?"

"Mr.Randall. Get to the point."

Mr.Randall nodded, and stood up."Mr.Sabaku, did you ever go see your little boy?"

"No," said Russel after a moment.

"Did you ever call him on his birthdays, or even holidays to say hello?"

Russel looked as though he were struggling. "No, I did not..."

"So, as much as you loved him, you never even attempted to contact him?"

"It was against his foster parents' wishes. They didn't want to confuse him." sniffed Russel loudly.

"So you just moved on, and never looked back."

"Your honor, that's speculation!" objected Sakura.

"Let me rephrase," said Mr.Randall lightly, turning back to Russel. "Did you make any attempts at all to see your boy?"

"Yes, I did! We hired a private investigator, and we were trying to hunt the family down when they sent us a letter saying he'd died. We had lost contact with them when they moved, and they didn't send a forwarding address."

"Mhm. How long did it take you to find them?"

"About a year, actually. They moved so far away, it was hard to catch them."

"Did you ever think that they might be moving to avoid you?"

"Relevance, your honor?" asked Sakura flatly.

"Nothing further..." Rushed Mr.Randall, his face slightly flushed.

He sat down, running a hand over his face, his face sagging a little bit, and he looked as though he were struggling.

"Nothing further..." He muttered under his breath.

**Author's Note- Do you like? I hope sooo! I know its unbelievably short, but i ran out of inspiration for Russel. :D Read and review; enjoy it and love it! ;) All my love,**

**Lauren/Mellokai**

**SEVGI! And Amethist Rose Dryconias- Where's my promised chapters? I MISS YOUR WORDDSSSS! NOOO! ITS KILLINNNNG ME! Lol please??  
**


	29. Honestly

Thunk! Thunkit. Thunk! Thunkit.

The pulse of her own frightened and betraying heart thundered in her ears, as it bade her fears hello. She had feared this day, but the fear and reality of it was just now hitting her in the face, but she had promised her little boy.... She was not so scared of the court day but the fact that she would say something wrong,and lose her little boy forever.

She covered her eyes with her hand, rubbing at her temples with unrequited force. The sound of the gavel being drawn to the little block snapped her out of her moment of ignorant and blank peace,and she sat up with a start. Her heart was in her throat now, suffocating her, and she gingerly took a sip of water to clear it.

"Are you ready to proceed?" Asked Judge Jefferson tenderly.

"Yes, I guess I am ready as I'll ever be..."

* * *

"Now, " asked , his voice surprisingly soft and accommodating, " When did you first find out Gaara truly was alive?"

"The day that Miss Haruno called my husband and told him that we needed to meet with out son. " said Marie slowly.

"And, may I ask, do you still have the letter with the picture of Gaara saying he'd passed on? I would like to know, for surely this would be evidence, either way it may affect the case. It needs to be brought into consideration, if we may."

"Your honor, I thought the same thing, and so I have asked her to bring it should the situation arise," spoke Tsunade, rising from her chair.

"Why didn't you tell me? That is a highly relevant piece of evidence!" hissed Sakura, her voice hushed so as to avoid embarrassment.

"I'd honestly forgotten about it, Sakura. I'm sorry!" murmured Tsunade, her voice worried.

"It's okay," Then Sakura spoke loudly, " Marie, if you would give him the evidence to pass along to the jury, then we may have examined by a trusted colleague, if you will, of the Judge. I, admittedly, do not trust the Police with this information at the moment. My apologies, to the Police Force, however, but you can never be too careful with evidence."

Mr. Randall nodded understandingly, and Sakura was taken aback. She wondered if he was beginning to take their side. That would mean he would have to resign, which might not be a good thing if Gaara's father got a vicious lawyer...

Marie timidly pulled her purse into her lap, and daintily fished through its contents, finally pulling out her stylish wallet, and then sliding the old faded photo from her purse, along with the note that was glued to the back. "This is it," She said thinly, her voice weary with worry and a tiredness that denied her good looks and made her seem older than her years.

"So, apparently, this is the company said to have sent this to you?" Asked , questioning in his voice, "Miracle Kid Foundation?"

"Yes, we looked it up, and it's supposed to be a good place for kids, and we thought he would have been happy there, but we guess it didn't work out like we'd have hoped..."

"Mhm, well, it seems they made a mistake, no?" asked , turning the card over to look at the little face in the studied it closely, and then, looked up to Gaara before looking at the photograph again. "Your honor? May we approach? And may step down for a moment?"

"What?" asked Sakura rising to her feet angrily.

"No, no, wait, you're going to want to hear this," said with a nod of his head and his face held a confused pose.

"Alright, then," hissed Sakura, marching up to the bench, her slight heels clacking loudly in the quiet room. The jury murmured to one another as they wondered what this new point in the trial meant."Well? What do you want now?"

"This, this boy in the picture, it's not Gaara!" Said incredulously, "It looks impossibly like him, but there is just something that doesn't fit!"

Sakura shamelessly grabbed the photo from his hands, and stared long and hard at the picture. "May I?" She asked gesturing to Gaara, then the photograph.

Judge Jefferson nodded, and then Sakura jogged lightly back to her table, where Gaara sat drawing, his mind elsewhere. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he jumped a little, then looked up, his face clearly startled. Sakura smiled apologetically, and then held the small picture next to his frowned deeply, and then turned his face to the side, and then to the other side.

"What-" -twist- "are you-" -twist- "doing!?" came Gaara's muffled voice, his eyes confused and embarrassed.

"Aha! You're right! See? The boy here," She pointed to the picture, "Had a rather large freckle right here," She pointed to Gaara's right cheek," Also, his eyebrows are slightly darker, and he also has a wider nose and larger ear." Sakura smiled triumphantly.

"So, in all honesty, , no matter how he may have neglected his son, did not intentionally deceive the birth parents into thinking their child had died. But, rather, a mishap at the Miracle Company occurred, and thus lead to the probable separation anxiety, and etc., of the now-"

"No, if hadn't abandoned him in the first place at the hospital, then there wouldn't have been need for the Miracle Foundation to order he be sent to Konoha!" countered Sakura.

"Order!" Barked Judge Jefferson, clanging his gavel against the block on his desk, " Order in my Court Room!"

The room hushed, as if all the air had been sucked out, and the air was thin with anticipation, the all consuming dread of what was coming hanging over them like a guillotine above a condemned-to-death's head.

", you may return to the stand; Mr. Randall?"

"Nothing further," Said , raising a heavy hand and shaking his head.

"Miss Haruno," Nodded Judge Jefferson, and Sakura rose, and walked calmly over towards Marie, her facial features soft.

"Hi, Marie. How are you doing?" Sakura asked softly, and Marie smiled wobbly, and chuckled a little.

"Well, considering everything, I'm doing, well, not so bad. But, I've seen better days..."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Let's make this quick okay?"

Marie nodded,"It's now or never right?"

"Yeah, it is, " nodded Sakura, " Now, when you gave birth to Gaara, how is it that he was signed away?"

"There were...." She trailed off looking for the right words, "_Complications_ with the pregnancy, and while I was unconscious, my Father was my medical-proxy, because I wasn't old enough. And he, well he signed Gaara off... He thought he was doing right by me, because I'd never really even talked to him about it, I completely avoided the subject. Maybe if I'd just talked to him about it, told him I wanted to keep the baby...

"I never would have let him do it! I knew what _I_ wanted to do, but I never told _him. _He was so sorry afterward.... He kept saying it over and over again..." Marie wiped a tear from her eye, and

"And, where is you father now?" Asked Sakura gently.

"He is in Rome, on an archeological dig." Said Marie, laughing. "Mom used to say he loved those bones more than he loved himself."

"So, was your mother apposed to your pregnancy?"

"At first, but then she saw how much I loved that baby. She was so mad at Dad for what he had done, they got divorced. They got back together a few years ago..."

"Marie, did you ever get to see your child until previously?"

"No, never. We were never given the opportunity, even the chance, or suggestion!" Marie sniffed loudly, and then blew into the tissue Sakura handed her.

"Nothing further your honor..." Sakura walked slowly back to her seat, and sank into it defeated. She couldn't make Marie cry anymore. It was tearing her up to do so.

"Alright, this brings us to the end of our first day of trial. Tomorrow we will reconvine, and Gaara Sabaku will be called to the stand."

"Wait, you honor, if I may- I would like to meet with you and opposing counsel in Chambers. It will not take long."

Judge Jefferson nodded, and then motioned for everyone to sit down.

* * *

"I am morally obligated to resign from this case, as if compromises my beliefs." Admitted Mr. Randall.

Judge Jefferson nodded, and then asked Gaara's adopted father if he'd found a new lawyer. He nodded, explaining that told him he could not handle his case anymore, so had already called in a new reporter that would be taking over the next day.

"And who will be representing you?"

"Salvador Valentino." Grinned , his eyes somewhat sad. "It's a shame, though. I would have liked to of.... Oh, never mind that. The past is done..." and left, and Sakura, Tsunade, and Gaara departed to walk down the hall to where to others waited. This court day would be over soon...

"Valentino is ruthless, Gaara. He's going to try to get a rise out of you, but don't let him. He's represented a lot of opposing counsels on those before who have tried to get out of the Institute through hard work, and honesty, like you. He'll try to make you feel bad, but don't let him get to you, okay?"

Gaara said nothing, but walked on, his fingers pulling restlessly on the edge of his jacket, the smooth yet strong material of his suit rubbing gently against his finger. Absentmindedly, he ran a long-fingered hand through his shock of red hair, and sighed. His eyes were tired, but the dark black circles that had made him look so sick and miserable were fading, though they were still evident beneath his lucid sky-blue eyes.

Sakura carelessly rested her hand on his shoulder, a calming gesture of companionship, and he seemed to calm to a certain degree whiel they walked back to the courtroom. They were released nearly ten-minutes later, and they all went out to dinner together, to the place Tsunade and Sakura had taken him before.

The older couple were there, and they rushed over to him, asking him to play a tune for them. They claimed to have come back every night in the hope that he would play them a song.

Gaara even made some money that night. In his suit, he looked like a professional, and many had thought that he was performing. Many of the customers had been trying to give their waiters and waitresses tips to give him, and they repeatedly told them that he was not working for them. But, after nearly a half an hour of this, they began setting his money aside, and at the end of their dinner, they brought it over to them.

"What's this for?" Asked Gaara, his brows knitting together.

"Your tips sir." Said the waiter with a smile. Gaara's playing had put many of his customers in a mood, and they hadn't been so snippy and rude as they could sometimes be. There were, of course, still pricks in the bunch, but other than that, it had been a pleasant evening, and he had been tipped even more moderately than usual due to his good mood and the light atmosphere.

Gaara's quiet mood had improved, and he didn't seem quite so worried about the future's events. After all, even if he didn't get to leave the Institute, he'd still have Sakura, Tsunade, and his family. And that, in all honesty, was all that he'd probably ever care about.

**Author's Note- I am sorry for not writing so long, writers block- a writers' worst nightmare! D: But, I am back, and hopefully going to be able to continue and finish this story! I am going to change Sakura, Tsunade, and Gaara's names though, so my Grandma can read this, and not think I'm weird, so be prepared for the older chapters to change. I am also going to go through and try to fix all my errors, and blank spots, ok? I've had some trouble with the computer in the past! :D l.o.l. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, so read and review! Enjoy it and love it! **

**Lauren/ Mellokai**

**Go read my other stories please! :D Especially Perfects! I have a writing splurge on that one, too! :D  
**


	30. The Epitome of Betrayal

Marie smoothed the lapels of his suit-jacket, and Gaara sighed nervously. He felt colicky, much like a horse who had just swallowed bailing-twine and was in pursuit to an eminent death.

The car ride was rather quiet, Sakura's voice the only to be heard, followed occasionally by Gaara's mumble of a reply. But, for the most part, her resolved to stare out the window as the colors blurred into each other, and the stoplights strung together in an endless stream. He thought of the little things, and of everything. He wondered if the outcome of this event would hamper his freedom, or rather open it to allow him to explore the world as he had always dreamed.

The good feelings of worry-less-ness was gone from him, and inside he was churning like a ship lost at sea, and he was anxious to get the day over with. Gaara felt his stomach drop out from underneath of him as they pulled into the Court House. Gaara gulped, and swallowed; restraining slightly as Sakura pulled him from the car. The panic was evident on his face, and Sakura oozed obvious empathy and pity for him, which Gaara inwardly craved, but outwardly disdained.

"I don't need your pity, Sakura." He said wrenching his arm from her grip, leaving a shocked Sakura standing to by herself on the pavement as the others marched toward the doors. Gaara looked back over his shoulder at her, and then sighed. With a jerk of his hand, he motioned her to follow, and he nodded his head to acknowledge forgiveness on her part or apology on his. Sakura couldn't tell which, but she didn't really care as long as he was squeezed his hand quickly, before dropping it in case someone were to draw any conclusion from it.

* * *

"Let court come to order, " Spoke Judge Jefferson loudly."Mr. Gaara Sabaku, please take the stand."

Gaara nodded nervously, struggling to make his dry mouth swallow. He rose shakily from his chair, and wobbled over to the chair in the box by the Judge. His gaze was foucsed on Sakura, as he bit his lip nervously. Sakura tapped her lip, and Gaara stopped chewing. Sakura knew from experience that if Gaara was nervous enough he would bite through his own lip without even realizing it.

". Would you mind if I call you Gaara?" Asked the tall old man, his once dark hair graying in large amounts, only the back of his head had any color at all left to it. Gaara said nothing as the man ran a vainy hand over his peppery gray mustache. "All right, Gaara it is!" Smiled the man, as though he were oblivious to Gaara's loathing glare.

"Now, Gaara, where to begin, where to begin, eh? How about, more recently. When did Sakura first become your doctor?"

"I don't exactly remember, maybe a few months ago. They don't really keep us updated on the times in there, and it's a bitch to keep track yourself." Said Gaara coldly, not looking up from the oak wood in front of him.

"How is it that you ended up meeting Miss Haruno?"

"Her b-ex-boyfriend had chased her downstairs into the U-Level. He was drunk, and he was trying to kill her or something."

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean what did _I_ do? I was a in cell for God's sake!" spat Gaara angrily.

"Fair enough." Nodded Valentino, his gray caterpillar eyebrows coming together. "Do you remember why you were brought to the Institution?"

"My Dad- well I thought he was killed my Mom, and got his cop buddies to cover it up. So I ended up there and they left me." Gaara's voice strained a little over the words here, as he struggled to keep calm.

"Why do you think he _framed_ you as so simply put it?"

"I don't have the slightest idea. Why don't you ask him? Better yet, ask him why he gave me that home-made tattoo?"

His adopted father's brows drew together in confusion, and stayed that way even as Gaara pulled back his hair to let his 'father' see the 'tattoo' that had been there so long.

"You mean you don't even remember?" Asked Gaara disgustedly.

"Mr. Sabaku, control yourself."Barked Judge Jefferson.

Gaara's face seemed to shut down and he withdrew into himself.

"Now, Gaara, do you remember when you were put into the U-Level?"

"Yes, I was aroung eight or nine..."

"And why is it you were put down there?"

"I-I...."

"Is it true that you nearly beat another patient to death?"

"He-"

"Is it true, _sir_?" Pressed Valentino.

"Yes! But, he-"

"And is it also true that while in U-Level you got into a fight with yet _another_ patient and this time, you killed him?"

"He started it- he stole-"

"Is it also true that you broke the two way mirror in the therapy room because you thought there were _people _in the mirror?"

"I'd never seen one before!"

"What about ? Is it true that you tried to stab him to death with a needle?"

"Did you forget that he tried to kill me-"

"What about Miss Haruno? Did you not try to kill her as well?"

"Yes." Said Gaara stiffly. "I'd never seen her before, and she was coming at me with a needle!"

"So Gaara, you have killed, and tried to kill numerous people, and yet you believe you should be released from Konoho Institute?"

Gaara's hands gripped tightly the edges of the chair, and his face was livid as he tried to control himself. His lip was dented harshly from where he'd bitten it so hardly.

"Well?"

"Answer the question." Requested Judge Jefferson curiously.

"I wouldn't have done any of that if I hadn't been put in there by him!" Hissed Gaara, jerking his head toward his 'father'. Gaara leaned back in his chair, and resumed his gnawing on his lip.

"I'm sorry to say Gaara, that you have limited, if any, proof of _anything_ your father has done to you, other than be a good father." Valentino said triumphantly with a smile.

Gaara didn't say anything but clamped down on his lip, not even acknowledging the pain as it split open, and blood slowly throbbed from the wound.

"Is it even true that your father did this to you? Or is it some psychotic delusion you concocted to get out of the Institution-"

"You're honor-"

"Valentino! Control yourself, or I will have you thrown out of my courtroom!" Snarled Judge Jefferson.

"Withdrawn." Said Valentino stiffly, his face impassive as his eyes glared at Gaara. Gaara smoothed his facial features, and then breathed stomach churned and he pressed a hand to his mouth to keep from being sick. He hated being in front of scrutinizing people.

"Your honor, may I call a recess. He's going to be sick-"

"Yes, I second that. I don't want him ruining my suit." Said , taking a cautious step back.

"Granted. Hurry, . "Gaara didn't even nod, but rather dashed from the room, skidding on his heels, and then spinning to avoid crashing into his mother.

"Oh, dear," Marie scurried after him, her heels clacking on the smooth marble tiles. "Come on honey! If you're not going in there ,I am!" She yelled back to Russel.

"Coming!" Squeaked didn't want his wife mad at him at a time like this, and besides that, he _was_ worried about Gaara.

* * *

Marie listened to the retching and SLOOSH-ing of her son losing his meal, and cringed. He'd eaten a lot for breakfast, and obviously had abandoned the thought that he might feel sick and worried. Or completely ignored it, rather.

Russel, in the bathroom with his son, patted his son awkwardly on the back. Usually Marie was the one comforting the children when they were sick. He had a tendency to throw up at the sight of vomit, but he toughed it out for his son.

Russel scratched the back of his head, and then let out a long sigh, "So, uh, do you need a towel or something?" He asked, furrowing his brows in embarrassment.

"Yeah..."Gaara scrubbed his face, and then leaned against the wall.

"Don't worry about it, Gaara, it'll be okay, I promise. He's a prick, let's leave it at that. Just, uh, just keep your cool." Russel wrapped his arms around his sons shoulders, and sighed. "When this is all over ,we'll knock back a few beers, and then watch some football. Do you like football?"

Gaara shrugged slightly. "I've never even heard of it."

"Well, Christmas is coming soon. Sakura said the appeal was supposed to be _after_ Christmas, but you know how these things go. So, what do ya say? We'll spend it with you, and we'll watch football, and sing carols, and all of it!" Russel's eyes sparkled as he spoke, and Gaara saw flickers of himself in his father as he watched."What do you think, bud?"

"I don't- well, I think-Mar-... Mom won't mind will she?" He asked, his mouth fumbling over the M-word.

Russel looked a little taken aback, and then he smiled a big smile. "No, I think she'd love to stay- in fact I think she'd be mighty upset if she _didn't _get to!"

Gaara smiled, and then nodded enthusiastically."I'd like that. Can we have marshmallows? I _love _marshmallows... Sakura won't let me eat them..."

"Uhm, we'll have to ask her, she does know best." Russel exhaled deeply."Now, if you can get through today, we can most certainly celebrate together!"

"I'll try." Murmured Gaara, his face crumpling slightly.

"I know ya will, Gaara," Smiled his father.

* * *

"Now, , did you ever try to harm anyone _outside _of the-as- the Institution?"

"Only like little kids do-"

"Right, so did you ever physically hurt anyone?"

"I was too small too-"

"Also, did you ever get put in the hospital as a child? For smaller injuries?"

Gaara paused for a moment, his head jerking back. He hadn't expected that.

"Yeah, a few times, no biggie." Said Gaara suspiciously."Why?"

"Gaara, being in the hospital isn't exactly usual, let alone being there a 'few times'. You were there six times by the time you five, not including your birth. "

"So?" Asked Gaara shrinking back a little into his chair. "Everyone has accidents!"

"Accidents? Really?" walked briskly back to his suitcase, and pulled out a thick file. "When you were one, you 'fell' off the porch of your house."

"But I slipped-"

"Two- you smacked your head off the teeter-totter. Hn, and then again that year it happened again. Coincidence? I think not."

"Temari said I slipped!"

"Hmm, yes Temari, - Temari said you slipped?" Asked .

"Was Temari with you when you fell off the porch as well?" Asked .

"I- I don't know! What are you talking about?"

"When you were three, you- my God, you fell out of the tree house in the backyard?" glanced up at Gaara's whose face contorted as he remembered.

"Yeah, Kankuro was sick, and he needed help, because... I think he was going to be sick. I was going to get Da- _him, _but Temari wanted me to stay. She and I starting argueing and then I just remember falling out. What does this have to do with anything?!"

"Gaara, was your father present when you fell of the teeter-totters?"

"No." Said Gaara shortly, not understanding what was getting at.

"May I ask who was?"Asked , his face complacent as the jury whispered.

"Kankuro, Temari. And, erm, my cousin Marciella."

"Who was on the other side of the teeter-totter?" brushed a hand across his stomach, wiping away crumbs that weren't there.

"I don't see what this has to do-"

"Mr. Sabaku, answer the question." Interrupted the Judge.

"Temari, but she was just playing with me! I didn't-" Gaara took an embarrassed breath, "I didn't have many friends, and she was always there. She always made sure I was happy."

"Mhm. Now, what about when you were five. You seemed to have accidentally ingested cleaning solution?" Mr. Valentino's face was soft and urging, and Gaara glanced uncomfortably to his hands that remained folded in his lap, writhing and twisting occasionally.

"Uhm, " Gaara cleared his throat. "Yeah..."

"Do you remember how exactly you came to ingest that particular solution? States here that it was.... toilet bowl cleaner."

"No! I don't remember! I don't _want_ to remember! Don't you understand that? I want to move on with my life! I don't need this!" Gaara racked a hand through his hair, and it remained ruffled and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"Gaara, it says here that you didn't eat anything other than cereal that day."

"Yeah. Temari said- I mean- I, I meant-" Gaara clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes and rested his elbows on the railing in front of him. He let out a shuddering breath.

", please answer the question." Requested Judge Jefferson.

"I don't want to! It's not fair! They can't do this!" Gaara shook his head violently. "I won't!"

"Gaara, you have to answer the question." Said , his voice steady."If you don't, they'll send you back to where you came from. And you won't get out. Contempt of court is serious."

"Alright." Gaara sniffed loudly, and rubbed at his eyes with the backs of his hands, still not looking up. He mumbled incoherent dribble, and then let out a sigh of frustration when requested to say it louder.

He said it louder when requested, but the words were still inaudible and unrecognizable.

"What? Speak louder, sir. We cannot here you!" Barked .

Gaara snapped, and suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs. "She said it was special! And it would me better, and people would like me and be nice to me!"Gaara lowered his voice and it wavered as he spoke. "You don't know what it's like to be called a freak everyday because you wear weird fancy clothes, and you're this tiny little person and it's so easy to get picked on, and ripped on! And you can't go out to any birthday parties because everyone's too busy! I didn't care what had happened, because where I went, people were nice to me!"

Gaara's hands gripped the edges of his chair once more, and he breathed in and out slowly, and his cheeks shined with tears. Temari had long ago disappeared from the room, and yet there Kankuro stood. His face was shocked, and he leaned heavily against the back wall of the room, his eyes red and worried as he stared at his little brother.

He couldn't believe this. All of his life the sister he loved more than himself, the one he had thought was trying to help him, had been sabotaging him. To get herself noticed as a savior when she figured out miraculously how to help him and what was wrong. He let out a disbelieving sigh and scowled. This was more than dishonesty or deception, no. It was the epitome of betrayal.

"Nothing further , your honor." Nodded . Mr. Sabaku stared dumbstruck at his son. He had simply thought his son a crazed man after his money, and yet he was not. He was simply after the love he'd been denied so long.

* * *

"Do you remember me taking this?" Asked Sakura, gesturing to the video that played on the large screen in the corner of the room.

"Yeah, it was cold that day. I remember you were wearing a huge coat of Tsunade's, an overcoat, I think. It was black, and it had buttons down the front. Kankuro was wearing his red coat. God, that thing was huge on me when he let me wear it. I felt lost in it." Gaara halted his rambling and then looked up to Sakura as if awaiting another question.

"Does drawing calm you down?"

Gaara nodded. "I feel happy when I draw. I feel like I can contribute to something, you know? Kind of like you do when you are with a patient."

Sakura nodded and smiled. "Yes, kind of like that! Do you like to shop?"

"Oh.... Well it's certainly something. Although, somehow I always end up carrying the bags." Gaara's face was perplexed as he said this, and the whole of the courtroom tittered with laughter.

"Well, Gaara, that's usually how it happens." Smiled Sakura apologetically. "Now, what do you plan to do when you get out of the Institute?"

"I wanna go to school! I wanna learn, everything I can about the world! And I wanna spend time with my family, and just be happy, and I wanna learn to-" Gaara blushed sheepishly. "I wanna learn to get along with people..."

Sakura smiled as Gaara rushed on to tell of his dreams and aspirations. The questioning of him on her part was calm and happy, and he seemed at ease.

"Alrightie," Said Sakura at last. "No further questions."

"Okay, that's it for today. We will reconvene Tuesday morning at 11:30." Confirmed Judge Jefferson. "And I would also like this Temari issued, and she is not to come into contact with Sabaku until it is cleared up. She is as of the moment under investigation. You are free to go."

Gaara cast Sakura a nauseous glance, and raked a hand through his hair. "Oh no... What did I do?"

* * *

"You hungry baby?" Asked Marie, offering Gaara a plate of spaghetti that she had cooked up herself. She and Russel were both half Italian, and it was very odd of them to have the coloring that they did, considering their heritage. They were lucky that way. /

"Hu-uh. Not right now..." Gaara sank lower into his recliner, massaging his temples, and focusing on breathing. His chest felt tight, and he feared he was nearing a panic attack. He breathed carefully, remembering the techniques Sakura had taught him to help the panic attacks. She was off getting everyone sodas from the vending machine in the lobby of the Institute.

It was going to be a long-hard wait, but as long as he people to help him, he was sure he could make it til next Tuesday; til the next court day.

**Author's Note, Sorry for the long delay, but I have been really busy with Allstate, and all that jazz plus some writers block. Truths will be revealed about Sasuke in the next chapter, and he will be in court. I am going to actually give some background to the character instead of some boring simple hostility. :D Enjoy! Read and review!**

**Thanks so much for sticking with me! **

**Lauren/Mellokai**

**Check out my other story perfects if ya can! A new House M.D. Story coming soon hopefully, so if your interested in that send me a PM or make a review,and that's that, I'll take some ideas!:D **


	31. Won't Know if You Don't Tell

"Sasuke, when was it that you decided to stop taking your medication?" Valentino asked conversationally.

"Uhm, about a year after I started dating Sakura." Confessed Sasuke, biting his lip and looking up from his hands.

"And, why did you feel the need to stop the medication?" Valentino rose a hand as if to accentuate his confusion. "I mean, surely, if the medicine worked so well for you- why stop taking it?"

"I didn't think it was doing anything. I'd been taking it for so long, and I thought I was... cured, I guess. I didn't even notice a change when I stopped taking the medicine, not until a week or two later. Sometimes if I didn't take my pill in the morning, I would feel different, but I just thought it was because I expected it to be different. Some sort of.... placebo effect or something."

"Now, you did go to medical school, am I right?" Asked Valentino skeptically, raising a brow.

"Yes! I was second in the class." Admitted Sasuke, he was proud of it, and yet sheepishly embarrassed for being second.

"Didn't you know that sometimes that kind of medicine takes weeks to work its way completely out of your system?"

"I did, but I remembered those days when I thought I felt different, and I figured since I had a fast metabolism I'd burn it off quicker than that. I just thought it was you know... normal."

"Manic depression is not exactly a normal state of being,Sasuke. Could you please describe to us life without your proper and diagnosed medication."Implored , Valentino straightening the folds of his blazer.

"Well, some days I'd be really happy, and I'd take Sakura out to dinner. We'd go out to the movies after dinner, and have a good time. I'd tell her I love her- I meant it, too. It was the way it used to be except I was happier. Every time I got down I would be mad and think about how happy I used to be. It isn't normal to be _that _happy so it made being miserable even worse. And I would blame Sakura for all of it, because she was the reason I stopped taking as well. I didn't like the thought of taking pills because there was something _wrong_ with me. She'd come home from work and tell me all about her patients.

'Oh, poor so-and-so... he's making such progress! I feel sorry for anyone who had to go through something like that.

"I never wanted her to feel sorry for me! I wanted her to love me- not someone she thought I was. I saw the way she looked at all of her patients- they were a puzzle she wanted to fix- and I didn't want her to look at me like that. Like I have some kind of handicap. I used to take the pills at three in the morning when I got up for my piss break and she'd never know. I hid the pills in a tile behind the toilet, near the floor. Love her to death or not, she's not the kind of girl to clean behind the toilet."

"Aha. , were you aware of 's mental state when you attacked him?"

"No, sir. I just knew that Sakura talked about him all the time. He drove me insane. Gaara-this, Gaara-that. It was like he was replacing me- every time I saw her face his face took over, and she wasn't even her anymore, but some weird-ass female body with his face plastered on its head. I had to get rid of him. I figured if I did that it could all just go back to the way it used to be."

"Gaara Sabaku stabbed you with a syringe containing lethal amounts of barbiturates, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Is it also true that you tried to provoke him into killing Miss Haruno, and then later tried to kill him by overdosing him with more barbiturates?" crossed his arms over his chest, and cocked a brow as he waited.

Sasuke bit his lip and closed his eyes, opening them only to blink quite profusely. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, and nodded to the tiles above them.

"Do you regret that decision?"

Sasuke bit his lip again and nodded rigorously. "I'm sorry. I didn't- I just...." He trailed off as the tears slipped out and he reddened with shame. if his father saw him now...

"Do you believe would be in the same place as you, should he decide to stop taking his medicine?"

"Yes, it is my medical opinion that it would certainly put him in the same position. But, seeing as everyone knows of his.... _need_ for medication, I'm sure he'll not be coming off of it. All problems aside, he... well I guess he deserves it. You know- getting out. I can accept that I'm going to get the punishment I'm getting- I've done the crime. But Gaara, doesn't deserve it. He's done nothing wrong except be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Gaara's face twisted curiously as he tried to piece together the words coming out of the other man's mouth. He had never felt so close to anyone, not even to Sakura. This man in front of him knew it was like to feel so unlike everyone else and to hate himself for what he was. It was like someone was suffocating him with his surprise as Sasuke's words. He- the very man who had provoked him and tried to kill him- was sympathizing with him. _Him! _

"Nothing further, your honor." Valentino bowed his head, and ducked out of the middle of the room to his table where he placed a consoling hand on 's shoulder. was still just as shocked with all of the events that had happened as the rest of the people in the room. Temari had been taken into custody, and it seemed to be smooth sailing ahead as far getting Gaara out was concerned.

"Mister Valentino, it seems you're doing my job for me! I only have a few questions for Sasuke ." Mused Sakura with a confused but moved expression.

"Sasuke, why didn't you tell anyone of your-" She frantically searched for a word, "Condition?"

"I was embarrassed! I didn't want you to treat me like one of those patients you always talked about, and I knew you'd look at me different. You're doing it right now! _Don't _feel sorry for me! Why does everyone feel sorry for me!? I'm just like you, dammit!" Sasuke's chest heaved as he repeated what he'd already said before and Sakura bowed her head slightly in acceptance of his words.

"Why did you feel the need to rid yourself of me? What would killing me have accomplished for you?" Sakura was now only acutely aware that had this been a real court, it woul dbe extremely unethical- not to mention impossible for her to be questioning this man like this. She was biased in her decision making- and had she been a real law attorney, she would've been removed from the case. But, seeing as she was in the Ethics Court, ironically they only cared about deciding whether or not Gaara Sabaku was fit to leave. Sure, Sakura was off topic, but what could they do unless the judge stepped in?

"Answer the question," Whispered the judge. He was rapt with attention, caught up in this tangled web of emotionally torturous treachery that was better than any soap opera. He was like Maniac Maggee, carefully pulling and plucking the corroded strands of thread from the giant frim-fram ball of a knot and his reward would be greater than pizza for a year, even if less expensive. He would deliver justice where it was due.

"I don't know what it would've done. You ruined my life- I hid the things from you that literally kept me sane, and I abandoned them to keep you happy. What did that get me except pain? I guess I thought if you were gone it would be easier." Sasuke closed his mouth and looked down at his clothes. They weren't what he used to wear before he'd been put into the asylum about three hundred miles away from Konoha Asylum, but he liked them more than his old clothes. Before he'd worn preppy things all the time, and now he wore comfy jeans from American Eagle and a lazy polo shirt under his blazer. He felt more like himself than he had in a long time, even when he'd been on his medication.

"One more question. Are you currently taking your medicine?" Sakura exhaled with relief when he nodded yes, and she nodded. "Good luck to you with your rehabilitation."

Sasuke nodded and stepped down from the stand. He smiled to himself as he realized they hadn't brought up his family once. Things were looking up, even if he was still in the loony bin.

"I would now like to call Doctor Tsunade to the stand." Sakura called out, rubbing the back of her neck with a weary hand. She tried to give Russel a reassuring smile but she was drained- both physically and rose from her chair and Sakura sighed heavily, her cheeks flushing.

"Tsunade, how long have you known Gaara?"

"Since he first came to the Institution. He was the only case I could never crack. I just couldn't figure him out. It's been... nearly eighteen years. yeah, right around there." Tsunade's hand itched to grab a hold of anything containing alcohol and gulp it down. Her nerves felt frayed. Was she going to explode!?

"Why did you pass off the case?"

"I felt it was time to stop trying to help him. What I was trying to do was obviously not working. He needed someone else- someone more equipped." Tsunade stopped rambling and waited expectantly for the next question.

"Um, did you ever refer him to doctors other than me?"

"Yes, many times, but none would take him. No one wanted to take on a patient that far gone."

Gaara bristled at the cool words and clenched his fist and scribbled slightly as he shaded in his pictures. The members of the jury whispered to one another and Gaara tried to block them out. He didn't need their voices chastising him in his head as well.

"Did you ever try to get him moved to a floor other than one than the top security floor?"

"No, never." Admitted Tsunade. "Not until you started working with him. You'd never seen him when he was in a rage- you never had to go through that."

Gaara swallowed, ignoring the curious look Sakura shot at him.

"Did Gaara ever... improve under your care?"

"Yes, within the first few months of him being there. He was steady for a few months, then things just went sour. His father visited, and he left in tears. He couldn't handle that his son was still denying it. After a while though Gaara started saying he did it, and he started threatening other patients. You've been attacked by him yourself, but those weren't rages- that was more of a self defense for him."

Sakura nodded, and turned to go to her seat again and paused.

"Have you ever seen him happy before?" She bit her lip as she waited for the answer.

"Yes, indeed I have. He's the happiest he's been lately, though all of this court matter is really getting to him." Gaara grumbled audibly under his breath. 'I'm fine!' "He's happier when you're around, and I believe letting him out of the Institution would be good for him. He needs to learn to see the world as it was meant to be seen and not how it's been handed to him so unjustly."

"Nothing further." Smiled Sakura.

"You know, Tsunade, from the way you talk about Sakura and Gaara it appears that they are quite close." Observed Valentino.

"Yes, you could say so." Tsunade narrowed her eyes and Gaara hunched his shoulders.

"A little _too _close for client and doctor, if you ask me." Valentino rose a brow and shook his head. "They seem to have quite a ....'_friendship_'."

"I'm sorry but I fail to see what this has to do with _anything_!" Tsunade rebutted, crossing her arms over her ridiculously large bosom. "What are you implying?"

"What am _I _implying? What are _you_ implying? I merely stated that they have a lovely friendship!" Laughed Valentino. Tsunade furrowed her brows in anger, knowing he'd played her.

Tsunade said nothing but simply raised a brow- erasing from her features any hint of remorse at the fact that Mister Valentino was leading the jury to believe that Sakura and Gaara were romantically inclined. But the more she thought about it the more she realized he was right. They were. And Sakura knew it too. Sakura was playing it cool for Gaara's sake, but Tsunade knew her well enough to know that Sakura was probably arguing with herself over whether or not it was true.

"Do you have another question, Mister Valentino?" Asked Judge Jefferson, hoping that he did.

"Yes, actually I do."Valentino smiled to himself and walked closer to Tsunade. "Has Gaara ever actually mentioned that killed his mother?"

"Yes."

"But, was there proof, other than statistical anomalies excluding Gaara from the murder?"Sakura was stunned at his swift change of character.

"No, but-"

"Did the evidence suggest that it was a large man?"

"No..."

"Who did it suggest?" Tsunade looked up baffled by the question. "_Who did it suggest?" _Valentino asked again.

"Uhm, uh- just someone bigger! But they would've had to be stronger than Miss Sabaku!"

"Miss Sabaku was a middle aged house wife. She was by no means wonder woman. It certainly wouldn't have taken much power to overpower her. Do you think it was possible for someone else to have done it?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"Possibly Temari?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes angrilly and clamped her mouth shut. She didn't want to answer this question. Either way it was going to hurt Gaara, and she could see the trial was eating him up inside no matter how much he insisted he was fine.

"Answer the question, please." Order Judge Jefferson, sitting back and putting a thoughtful hand under his chin.

"Well?" Mister Valentino opened his hand wides and sauntered closer. He placed his hands on the wood in front of Tsunade and leaned was trying to intimidate her, but he was actually failing miserably.

"It's possible." With that she crossed her arms and glared Valentino in the eye.

Valentino sighed, and waved an airy hand. "Nothing further."

Tsunade stepped down and took her seat again and sat down next to Gaara as she had been before. She patted Gaara reassuringly on the shoulder, wincing slightly as he flinched away from her touch.

"Is that our last witness?" Asked Judge Jefferson.

"Yes-" "No-" Valentino and Sakura looked to each other, wondering what on Earth the other was thinking.

"Aren't you calling Kankuro Sabaku to the stand?" Asked Valentino raising a curious brow.

"I wasn't going to. He's gone through enough and putting him on the stand when it's clearly not necessary-"

"All right, Miss Haruno, you've made your point." Nodded Judge Jefferson. "The jury will now be presented with closing arguments."

Sakura sat back down as Valentino pushed past her to give his argument first.

Sakura mentally prepared herself for her own speech, only half listening to what Valentino was saying. Gaara beside her was drooping, his head getting closer and closer to his work. She tried to peak over his arm at what he was drawing but he shifted so she couldn't see it.

Sakura sat back, and stared at her hands. Valentino's voice buzzed in her ears, and she pushed it down so she didn't have to hear it. It was her turn now. What to say? What to do!

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to remind you that Gaara in fact did _not_ commit the crime he was admitted into the Institution for, and obviously has no reason to be here..."

Gaara's throat felt like it was closing, like his stomach was caving in and his ribs were cracking. He had to breathe through his nose- gasping for breath would've equated that something was wrong. His lungs were on fire! Spots, dancing, colorful spots- why were there so many? Gaara realized it was the beginning of a panic attack, and he opened his mouth and breathed as silently as he could. Tsunade's hand was on his back again, and this time he did not shrug it off. It didn't bother him anymore- right now he was just worried about not freaking out.

Sakura glanced back to him and gave him an encouraging smile, but he looked down and away. His chest hurt something awful, though the spots and wild colors were fading away. Tsunade's touch was soothing, even though he was mad at her for being so blunt and open about everything on the stand. She'd been talking about him as if he wasn't even there!

In. Out. Innn.... Ouuuut... Their voices faded away and his mind clouded over. His eyes didn't see but he stared anyway.

"Yo, we're done." Kankuro murmurs as he hands Gaara his jacket. Gaara stares at him in confusing for a moment before wearily pulling his arms through the sleeves with great fatigue. Where had the time gone?Kankuro recognized the half-dead tired look on Gaara's face- he shared the same expression, and he knew what it was like to be that tired. He himself was having trouble sleeping. His eyes hurt with the lack of sleep, but he pushed his thoughts aside as he was reminded of Gaara's sleepless nights. The dark rings were obvious in the sallow light of the courtroom.

Gaara opened his mouth to ask of his freedom, but then shut his mouth. The jury was still deliberating and half of the courtroom had filed out, but he knew that somewhere in the back of his mind they wouldn't be ready in a half-hour. They'd be back tomorrow. He remembered dully that they were headed off to his favorite restaurant, but the feeling didn't bring him much joy.

The car rides were silent- tension was thick in the air and seemed to affect everyone. The contagious intensity seemed to drag everyone within their perimeter of glumness and it showed- heads hung low and shoulders slouched. Gaara curled up in the back seat and Tsunade checked back every so often. He didn't look up- not out of anger but out of fatigue. He was too tired to move around much, and he realized dimly that all his strength had left him at the closing arguments.

Sakura slept fretfully in the front seat, yet Tsunade did not wake her but rather let her adopted daughter sleep. She was in dier need of the sleep, and Tsunade would rather it be fitfull than nothing. Gaara didn't seem to notice- he was too wrapped up in his own little mess of thought and sleeplessness. His eyes would drift shut, snap back open and he stare out the window a minute or two before starting all over again.

His brother feigned sleep next to him, his head leaned carelessly against the window, his body loose and untense. His eyes stayed shut easily, though they tensed every so often and his eyes would swirl around and awake he would be. He never really fell completely asleep- Tsunade was worried he was getting as bad Gaara. She'd have doctor Wong check him out later. They needed an unbiased opinion, and theirs- Sakuras' and Tsunades'- would definitely be biased.

They pulled into the restaurant parking lot and Gaara jerked up, the crunch of gravel easily waking him. He looked around, the images blurring together for a moment befre refocusing. His brother rolled easily out of his seat and out of the car, and Gaara rose a confused brow. Hadn't he just been sleeping?! Gaara half-assed a shrug and pulled himself from the car.

He didn't play the piano that night. He ate his meal, laughing only every so often. The laughing was rare, but lately he'd been getting more and more comfortable with doing so. He wondered if it was strange to not remember being a little kid who was happy, or not knowing how to laugh or smile. Marie had promised him that she'd show him how to smile for the camera, but she hadn't gotten around to it. All of the pictures he'd taken so far contained a moody and dark Gaara as a result of that.

Nobody knew when it was that he finally fell asleep, but at some point someone noticed that he was slumped over, one arm extended with his face rested upon it. For the first time in her life, Marie was bonding with her son. She tenderly stroked his hair as he slept, more often than not memorizing his face as she spoke to someone else. Tsunade's heart twisted jealously- it wasn't fair that after all of this time claiming that she hated children, and would never have any that now it was what she wanted most.

Life is full of surprises- good and bad. Only after great triumphs and great losses do you really know who you are. Before the outcome of the fight is when you finally find out how determined you are, and afterward you find out if how much it really meant. Tsunade already knew how much it meant to her. But sometimes things are bittersweet, and you can't help but be sad about being happy, can you?

**Author's Note- So it's been like five months! :P Shoot me. I was so uninspired it's not even funny! I watched an episode of law and order svu- episode abomination- and the actor looked like he could've been Gaara if he changed his hair color. Amazing work! So I jumped on the computer at the nearest chance I had- about six hours later- and began to write. I didn't write none stop, though I got more than half of this done in about one sitting- which was a little over an hour and a half. So be proud! :D **

**Reviews are heavenly- comments, questions, or just plain out suggestions or demands- you know what to do! **

**Also! For the very last chapter of the story I will post separate- alternate- endings. I know that some of you would like to see a happy ending, but I want to do it the way I orginally- and still- see it happening. Because life is not fair! BUT- just for you I will do a happy ending after I write my own ending. :D CHEERS!**

**Mellokai/Lauren**

**P.S. I am officially a freshman! :D WOOT WOOT! CHEER WITH ME IF YOUR A FRESHMAN! :D YEAH! Or if you just moved up from freshman- aw heck I don't care cheer anyway ! :D :D : D  
**


	32. Not You're DoctorBut Something More

Gaara's nervous hands clenched together on the table top, and he stared at them, studying the pale long fingers and square nails. He wondered if his brother had the same hands, or if they were grossly different. He didn't want to move on to his new family and leave his brother all alone with his father. He glanced over at his father, and he offered a small smile. Gaara tried to smile back but he was too tired and weary of himself to allow a full one. His father nodded as if to say it was okay, and Gaara realized his father had only been reacting as one should when someone kills their wife.

He remembered Temari asking him over and over what happened, and when he didn't answer she'd tell him. He hadn't believed her at first, but she was his sister- why shouldn't he believe her!? He shrugs off the thought, and looks up at the door that the jury will soon file through, and his heart races. A trickle of sweat worms its way down his spine, and he runs a hand through his hair despite of himself. He never can keep that damn hair in place. It had a mind of its own, and Sakura would often laugh before she licked her fingers and smoothed it back down.

Sakura and Tsunade both grabbed his hands as the door swung open and the members of the jury slowly filed back through and took their seats. The woman in the front row of the seats, who sat in the corner chair closest to the judge, rose slowly from her chair, the piece of paper clutched tightly in her sweaty palm.

"Have you reached a verdict?" Asked Judge Jefferson, calmly folding his hands in front of him on the desk. His watery blue eyes studied Gaara's face for a moment before he returned his gaze to the elderly little woman who was to read the paper holding the verdict.

Gaara felt a little woozy, but he held his head up as he waited to hear of his chance for freedom.

"We find Gaara Sabaku, of Konoha's Medical Institution for the Mentally Unsound, competent and able to live outside of the Institution on the condition that he be on regular therapy, medication, and checks in regularly with all the proper officials."

Marie squealed with joy, and Russel, being the man that he is, broke down into sobs. Cara, Benji and Ella, who had been unable to come to the previous day's trial, whooped and ran up to hug Gaara. Sakura and Tsunade burst into tears, squealing and hugging each other, and jumping around as if they'd just won Doctor of The Year Awards. Kankuro laughed and clobbered his brother with a bear hug, while Gaara just stared blankly as he was jerked around. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

He'd never thought that he would honestly get out- he realized that he'd thought they were going to vote no, and he'd be sent back there forever. But for once, he was wrong about people. They _did_ have the capacity to be kind and forgiving, and he could deal with that. Gaara broke out of his trance, and laughed for a second before returning the hug to his brother.

Gaara sat back down; he was afraid he would feint he was so happy. Is this what it meant to be a happy free person? This airy feeling that felt sickeningly frightening? He pushed the thought aside, and then rose from his chair. He'd need to learn to get used to walking around with that feeling. It felt like he was... floating!

Sakura looped her arm through his, and Tsunade did the same with the other arm. "What do you say about lunch, everyone? I think a little celebration is in order, considering the wonderful triumph!" Marie laughed as she spoke, kissing her son many times over on the cheek. Gaara leaned into the kiss, probably the first one he'd gotten in a long time. He was bursting to run around and scream and shout and do _something_ to signify his emotion, but he seemed to be in shock- he could barely move!

"Let's go celebrate!" Whooped Kankuro, grabbing Gaara's arm and yanking him out of the courtroom. He glanced back for help but there was none, everyone was following Kankuro. Gaara smiled, reminding himself to be happy. But the more that he thought about it, the more frightened he became.

He was being kicked out of the home he'd known for most of his life, and now he couldn't never go back- not to the way things were. He was getting kicked out of the place that offered him support and help for all his troubles- what if he forgot to take his medicine? Or- or-

Sakura broke into his thoughts and grabbed his shoulders, steadying him. "You alright? You look ready to puke, Gaara!"

"No. I'm... fine. Let's go celebrate." Smiled Gaara guiltily. Sakura smiled back, and out the door they went.

* * *

"Another round!" Kankuro, Gaara, and Russel sat at the bar of their favorite restaurant, while the ladies and Benji sat at the tables.

Gaara eyed the three shots in front of him, observing his father and brother. He'd never had a full glass of alcohol, let alone whiskey shots.

"Look, Gaara, you do this-" Kankuro picked up one of Gaara's shots and downed it in a single gulp. He shut his eyes and savored the burn. "It burns, but you get used to it."

Gaara nodded with a sigh, and hesitantly picked up a shot. Kankuro nodded encouragingly and Gaara downed it. The whiskey burned down the back of his throat and into his stomach, hot and sour. His throat felt scorched and raw, but he was getting a strange little buzz in the back of his mind that made it worth it. It was like when he was on those 'happy pills'.

Kankuro handed him the last one and Gaara accepted it with a smile. "Down the hatch!" He laughed before doing just that with his drink.

* * *

"I'm going to go get Gaara now, okay?" Sakura whispered to Tsunade, who smiled sloppily- it was one of the rare times that she was completely drunk. Quite a feat for a woman with her tolerance. She wormed her way through the crowd, until she finally got to the bar. Russel, Gaara, and Kankuro had their arms around each others' shoulders and were loudly singing a bar song. Gaara apparently didn't know all the words, because he would break into giggles for long segments of time.

"You got him drunk!?!" She yelled angrily.

Russel and Kankuro turned to her in shock, and their mouths flopped open and shut as they searched for a respectable reason. They looked like drunk, stubbly fish.

"Gaara! Put that down!" Gaara set down the shot he'd been about to drink. He sloshed most of it out of the shot upon sitting it down, but didn't seem to notice. Sakrua scowled and snatched up the shot, and downed it.

"How many shots has he had?" Sakura asked the throat still burned, but she paid no attention to that.

"UH, let me check." The bartender flipped open a fancy little pocket book and winced.

"Sixteen." Sakura rolled her eyes and sighed. The bar tender shrugged nervously. "He was all for it, if that makes a difference.

"He's never had alcohol before!" She smacked Kankuro and Russel in the back of the head, and yanked Gaara away from the bar.

"I'm not that drunk!" argued Gaara. And it wasn't a lie- he wasn't piss drunk, much to her surprise. He was just over the line of inebriated. He was free to do as he wished without having the common sense to real it in. But then he couldn't could he? He would remember it the next day, though.

"Yes, but you're drunk." Rebutted Sakura angrily. She'd been more scared than anything at the fact that he was getting drunk. She's had more than enough experience with that- but Gaara was different when he was drunk. He was.... happy. And kind. Just a little sloppier than usual. Okay, a lot, considering he liked to actually be neat.

"Marie! I'm taking him back to the Institution. He's drunk, and it'll be too much of a shock for him to wake up and be somewhere else. " Marie nodded, but first jumped up to give him a multitude of kisses.

Gaara giggled, and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you, Mom!" He shouted as he was yanked out into the parking lot. Marie smiled, and sank into her chair. She couldn't have been prouder to be his mother- he loved her!

"Gaara! Get in the damn car!" Gaara made a face that was meant to be snide but came of as incredibly goofy. Sakura guffawed and laughed heartily as Gaara tried to get into the car. He was laughing too hard- his whole body was shaking which made it hard to get into the car. Sakura was amazed at how good of a laugh he had, drunk or not.

They drove to the Institution in relative silence, apart from an occasional giggle from Gaara. Sakura was warm inside, probably from the three-quarters of a shot of whiskey and the two glasses of wine.

"We're here!" Announced Sakura with boredom as she opened her door, but Gaara had already gotten out of the car.

Sakura wobbled across the gravel in her heels, and opened the doors to the Institution. Gaara wondered around for a moment or two, silently saying goodbye to everything. Sakura opened the door that lead down the hallway to his room, and he followed.

The hallways weren't quiet, but they weren't necessarily loud either. "Gaara, where are you going?"

"I want to go downstairs!" Shrugged Gaara, as if that were a natural request.

"Why?" Sakura asked in disgust. Gaara shrugged again and Sakura opened the doors for him and let him down there. The familiar chill was remarkable- the temperature dropped about twenty degrees. Sakura had forgotten how cold it was at night- she hadn't been down there in a long time."Well, where do you want to go?"

"My old room." Whispered Gaara. Sakura opened the door, and stepped aside to let him in. Gaara ushered her in, and shut the door behind them. Sakura didn't mind that they wouldn't be able to get out until Tsunade came to get them- she figured that Tsunade would know where he was once his new room was empty.

"They took out my mattress!" Remarked Gaara fingered the small cot mattress they'd placed on top and glanced at Sakura.

"They needed it for another patient. He had an... accident on his. Blood everywhere."'

"Hey! Look- they left all my other old stuff. My restraints, my table, my- ewww! Gross they left my pajamas!Haha!" laughed Gaara. He picked up his restraints and eyes them for a moment before almost angrily throwing them down again. Then he smiled again, his past momentarily forgotten in his drunken haze.

"_Wow._" Sakura picked up the restraints that Gaara had set down. "These things are serious. I mean, I know you're strong, but I'd never really picture you to be one who needed tied down."

"There's a lot of things about me you wouldn't expect." Gaara shrugged. There was no true inflection behind the words, but they chilled Sakura to the bone as she realized that he was right. There were a multitude of things about him she didn't know. Gaara looked up, startled by her timid silence. Sakura had unknowingly backed away from him, and she guiltily handed the restraints back to him.

Gaara nodded, mumbled thanks and tossed the restraints unceremoniously to the table. "I'm sorry, Gaara-"

"It's fine." Gaara's voice mumbled. It was Gaara's voice, but not Gaara talking. It was of course, but it seemed so out of character for him to be truly soft and vulnerable without crying or be ashamed, or saddened by something someone else had done to him. But this time it was her, the one person he could always expect and need to be without judgment. And here she was, scared of him for what he had been- what he _still _was. He was still the same broken person, even with the patches covering the holes, rips, and tears.

"Look, I didn't mean to-" Gaara looked up with a weary sigh and just shook his head slowly. Sakura stopped talking, knowing it would do no good. Gaara plopped down onto his bed, staring at the spot where the mattress supports were bent in one spot, and then sighed, dismissing his frustration. So what if she was scared of him? He knew better than to expect anyone to expect anyone to accept him for the monster he was.

"Gaara, Gaara, Gaara." Sakura plopped down next to him, the bed silent under her weight. Sakura sighed and leaned against him, relieve when he didn't pull away from her weight."I can't be your doctor anymore."

"What!? Why not!?" He asked angrily, twisting away from her, and staring her in the eye.

"You heard what Valentino said in the courtroom today. I don't know about you, but I... well I like you too much to be your doctor anymore. It's unethical." Sakura winced slightly as the hurt dawned on his face, and then sighed when he closed his eyes and let his head hang low. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Gaara! This- don't you get it? I... _like you._ I can't like you... well, like _that_ if I'm your _doctor!_ I could get fired!"

"Okay. But how do you know you're not just going off on a whim?" Gaara looked her feircely in the eye, "I'm not a toy! You can't say you want to be with me, and then get bored of me or whatever the hell woman like you do! Women like you- they don't end up with people like me! That's _not_-"

"Excuse me? Who says I can't decide for myself who I love and who I don't!?" Sakura winced when she realized she'd said 'love'. She did love him, that was true- but she couldn't tell someone in his mental state that kind of thing. I would be too much for him.

"Everyone! You know I'd love to be with you- out of anyone- but it's just... I don't know. Aren't men the ones who are supposed to be strong in a relationship?"

"Yeah- if you're living in the fifties! But we're _not, _Gaara. Life is too short to miss out on this stuff, but just long enough for it to pass you by without you realizing it. That makes no sense, but, when you go around thinking you've got the rest of your life to do it- you miss out! And we don't have the rest of our lives- we have _now._" Sakura's eyes sparkled emerald green in the florescent light.

"You've been watching too many movies Sakura!" Laughed Gaara. Her burst into giggles and doubled over giggling like a child. Sakura's mouth dropped open, dumbfounded at the sudden change of character. He was unpredictable drunk, but apparently not a mean drunk.

"Gaara! Get back up here." She grabbed his arm and pulled him upright. "You don't get to do th-"

"Sakura. You're so annoying. Has anyone ever told you that you talk _way_ too much?" Gaara's deadpanned, though his eyes twinkled mischievously. Sakura's mouth jaw dropped open again, and she rose her eyebrows with hurt. Gaara smiled vindictively and then she scowled. What she did next- well, that would've made his jaw drop if his mouth hadn't been so busy.

"I don't know how this is a retort, but I like it." Whispered Gaara.

"Why are we whispering now?" Giggled Sakura, kissing him again.

"I don't know!" Sakura pushed him down onto the mattress, kissing him ruthlessly, leaving the words hanging in the air. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Sakura's words were still leaving her lips when he told her.

**Author's Note: So you hate me huh? Well I might write one- ask me and I can send it to you when it gets published. It's on a different account. LIKE I SAID- friends and family read this and i had a 'friend' write it. :P Whatever. So u want it ask me, or just leave a review. OOC? I hope not, but none of has seen him drunk so.... it could go either way. :D LEAVE ME STUFF!**

**Mellokai/Lauren  
**


	33. I Don't Care

Sakura burrowed closer to the furnace that emitted the delicious radiating warmth, and then jolted awake. Her mind replayed the nights events, and she blushed in spite of herself. Gaara was still behind her, his breathing slow and quiet. His arm was wrapped around her as though she were his precious Ai, and she smiled with the fact that she indeed was his love.

Gaara's nuzzled her neck in his sleep, hunching his shoulders protectively shielding her from whatever it was that he was dreaming. Sakura carefully turned around in his arms, and rested her face softly on his shoulder. She didn't know how she was going to explain this to Tsunade. Tsunade wouldn't be in for another couple of hours though. She would wake Gaara up- she couldn't get out of his death grip- and get dressed so that Tsunade wouldn't suspect anything.

Gaara had puked a couple time during the night as well, and he'd promised her he'd never drink again- begged her not to let him drink again. His breath was stale with the smell of whiskey, but it wasn't particularly strong. Sakura couldn't have been happier about someone puking their guts out because of alcohol consumption. At least she knew he'd never be a rabid drinker. Gaara's eyes were a little puffy from lack of sleep, but Sakura didn't mind.

Sleep hazed the edges of her sight, and she let it wash over her. The feeling of arms wrapped protectively around her was comforting- towards the end of her relationship with Sasuke he had distanced himself from that sort of touching. It was refreshing for her, and as wrong as it could've been, it was right.

Sakura inhaled his spicy male scent that even girly shampoos couldn't change and sighed with a smile on her drowsy lips. At least she and Gaara would never fight over what kind of shampoo they wanted. And he could keep everything he had if he wanted. He didn't have anything that bothered her, save for the restraints.

Sakura closed her eyes, and sighed into his smooth chest as he eyes closed once more.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Yelled Tsunade. She had walked in on Sakura curled up on Gaara's old bed with him, and she knew what that meant- especially when she was still wearing his shirt.

"I-"

"I mean _honestly!_ He's your _patient_!" Tsunade spun away from her, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"_No_-"

"You can do this! You could lose your liscense!"

"_Tsunade!" _Bellowed Sakura, standing up and leaning on the desk lividly. "If you want an explanation _then let me talk!" _Tsunade blinked once or twice and then sat down quickly.

"Then talk."

"Okay- look. I told him I couldn't be his doctor anymore- will take him- he's already accepted Kankuro! I know I can't be his doctor anymore, and you can't either. And Gaara didn't say no-"

"He was drunk!" Interrupted Tsunade in disbelief of Sakura's words.

"Do you want to ask him?" Shot Sakura defiantly. She cocked a smug brow when Tsunade said nothing. "_I _kissed him. The rest was his idea. Valentino was right- I do like. Hell, I _love_ him, but I can't tell him that- not yet, at least."

"Sakura, Gaara is not going to be comfortable with you working down here anymore. He of all our residents knows how wild they can get." Tsunade narrowed her eyes when Sakura shrugged stating that they would 'work it out'. "You've haven't seen him in a rage, Sakura. You don't know what he's like."

"I have so! Don't you remember-"

"He was drugged that time, Sakura. Come here," Sakura stood again, the air cool on the back of her legs. She was still in Gaara's dress shirt- it came almost to her knees.

Tsunade fiddled around with the tapes in the box beside her desk as Sakura plopped down on the little couch in front of the TV. Tsunade selected one and pushed it into the old fashioned screen fuzzed for a moment with static and then a slightly blurry video hazed into view.

Gaara, clear as day, was beating another patient senseless while more than two security guards tried to pull him off. Gaara was hittting the poor patient with every ounce of strength he had and with anything within arm reach. A vicious smile ruined his features- crackled with hate and a crazy emotion Sakura couldn't place. He looked... terrifying.

"I'll kill you, you-" Terrible swears, curses, and insults tumbled from Gaara's mouth- some of them so foul and nasty that even Sasuke wouldn't dare utter them. A syringe was plunged into Gaara's shoulder, and he twitched and convulsed trying to escape the needle."NO! I won't go back!"

Gaara began to swing at the guards, his fist clawing at their faces. He started to laugh when he escaped their grip. "Don't you get it!? _You can't stop m-" _THWACK!

Tsunade had smacked him in the back of the head with a folded up chair. "I didn't want to do that, but you gave me no choice. Act like an asshole and you'll get treated like an asshole."

Sakura looked to Tsunade who shrugged. "Figured you'd better see it and know what your getting into."

"Call me conceited, but he hasn't acted like this once since he's met me- unless he was provoked- so doesn't that count for _something_?" Tsunade shrugged at Sakura's words and Sakura sighed deflatedly. "I don't care. I don't- I can handle whatever he has to throw at me."

"Unless its something extremely heavy like a dresser," Joked Tsunade. Sakura snickered, rolling her eyes. She stood up quickly, gesturing to her clothes. Tsunade nodded and was about to let her go when she grabbed Sakura's arm. "You can't go out there in that, stupid! Half of these men haven't seen a woman's legs in years."

Sakura reddened deeply and accepted the throw blanket, wrapping it around herself before trotting back to Gaara's old room.

He was up, and looked kind of upset that she had gone.

"Where'd you go?" He asked, furrowing his brows together almost angrily.

"Tsunade had to show me something, and yell at me for a little bit." Sakura whispered with a rueful smile.

"Oh.... Sorry."

"It's okay." Sakura plopped down next to him, and sighed a long, languid sigh. "You know, I'm going to move out of Tsunade's place into hopefully an old house- I _love _fixeruppers, you know- and I was hoping maybe...."

"I would go, too?" Asked Gaara slowly, staring at the cracks in the floor. "Why wouldn't I?"

Sakura sighed with relief and then smiled, though it still faltered slightly. "I thought you might want to move in with your parents- oh gawd, how are we going to tell your parents!?"

"If I've learned anything about them since they got here, they'd understand. They'll think you love me because I'm '_irresistable'._" On the last word his voice took on a homo-esqe tone, and he clasped his hands in a mock laughed, wondering if being 'close' to her had relaxed him around her.

"I hope so," Sakura leaned closer, whispering softly into his ear, "And _yes-_ you _are_ irresistible." For the first time she'd ever seen him do- Gaara blushed. Not firey red like Sakura's blushes, but a pale pink that crept across his features. Sakura kissed his ear, and then shivered. "It's cold..."

She unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, trading it in for her own clothes. Her heels felt foreign on her feet- she'd gotten so used to wearing flats.

"Hey, so are you hungry?" Sakura knew from experience that Gaara was especially hungry in the morning- just as she was.

"Mhm." Gaara tugged his jacket on over his rumpled shirt, and glanced down at himself. "I look like a slob." He muttered almost sadly. Sakura sighed and told him he looked fine."They're going to talk about me if I wear this!"

"Would you rather wear your pajamas?" Asked Sakura agitatedly.

"No-"

"Then we're going." Sakura grabbed his arm and pulled the book from between the door and the wall. She looked sideways, and remembered the scanner. "Shit.I forgot they even had those!" Laughed Sakura. "I could've gone and gotten some clothes... Oh well."

Gaara was silent and thoughtful, and Sakura scowled. "I wouldn't have left _you_ Gaara! I was talking about clothes, after last night!"

Gaara didn't say anything, but his shoulders relaxed.

"Oh, and I thought it might be a good idea for you to meet ." (**Author's Note- I'm stealing from Law and Order:SVU. HE ROCKS! :D)**

Gaara nodded," I've met him once or twice, he was interested in me, but Tsunade wouldn't give up my case. He knew she was too involved, but I guess she didn't care. And he wouldn't step in like that unless it was 'harming' me."

Sakura nodded, and then pulled his hand."Come _on! _I'm starving!"

**Author's Note- So it's not as long as the other ones, but.... I didn't feel like writing more. I am inspired to write more, but I have a feeling thats telling me to push it on. Kallou and I have been working on the pros and cons of the sad ending of the story- and we have come up with an ending we like. :) SO STAYED TUNED! **

**Reviews are great, too. You guys haven't been... you know-reviewing! I'll give you virtual cookies! With butterscotch and chocoloate chips? :D**

**Lauren/Mellokai  
**


	34. Appologies Make For New Beginnings

Bo hugged him tightly, and swayed back and forth as if to milk all the love he could from the hug. Gaara smiled, and returned the hug. "I'll miss you, kid. Keep your nose clean."

Bo stepped back, and nodded his approval with a smile. He was about to speak when when one of the attendings started to drag him back to his room.

"But I have to-"

"No! You'll be out here all day, Bo!" Laughed the attending," You don't need to see him leave, trust me."

Gaara watched after Bo, biting his lower lip in sadness, and a certain open nervousness that Sakura wasn't quite used to seeing. She rested a comforting hand on the small of his back, and he relaxed slightly into her touch. Tsunade softened a little at the 'open' display of affection between the two, and Gaara instantly bristled under her gaze. He shifted away from Sakura's touch, causing Sakura to sigh airily.

Many patients that Gaara seemed to have made friends with since Sakura arrived came to see him off, and there were more than a few grown men crying. Sakura had a niggling suspicion that it was because they were gay, and were finally losing hope of being with him. Sakura shuddered at the thought and then forced herself to smile at them and bade goodbye to them all.

Kankuro gripped the neck of a beer bottle in between his teeth and lips as he struggled with a particularly heavy box. He looked up to the sky and took a gulp before moving on with renewed gusto. Sakura rolled her eyes as she opened the car door for him. Kankuro's only response was a careless smirk, which almost cost him his beer.

They were just finishing loading all of Gaara's stuff into the car when a blonde haired young man about Gaara's age walked timidly over. Ino walked close by him, Sai occupying her other side.

"Hey," Smiled Sakura.

"Hi," Replied Ino with a goofy smile of her own.

"Gaara! Remember me!?" Whooped the blonde boy, taking off at a full run for Gaara.

Gaara froze, his mind reeling. Sakura could literally see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to remember. His jaw dropped when he finally remembered who it was. "Naruto!"

Gaara took off at a run and tackled Naruto to the ground, and punched him in head once before resolving to pin him. Naruto's back pack had flown out of his grip upon being tackled, and it now rested ten feet away from him. "You took my socks!"

"That was years ago!" Gasped Naruto, nursing his bleeding nose. Gaara knocked Naruto's hands aside, and pressed his forearm into Naruto's throat. "You seriously care about your socks!?"

"What about my sketches?" Gaara growled, pressing him into the ground.

"I- have- them-" Naruto gasped," Just, please- let-.... go!" Gaara smiled ruefully and released Naruto. Sakura, Ino ,and Sai watched with bemused expressions as Naruto and Gaara punched each other a few more times before getting off the ground.

Naruto pulled the sketch out of the backpack he'd been carrying, and lifted the pack to his shoulders. "Here. I kept 'em safe for you."

Gaara snatched the drawing pad and flipped through the pictures slowly, accounting for each one. He gave Naruto one of his rare fully fledged smiles and Naruto held out his fist. Gaara furrowed his brows, unsure of what to do. Naruto sighed in mock aggravation and grabbed Gaara's wrist. For once Gaara didn't flinch, but allowed Naruto to show him how to "pound it".

"Now _that's_ how it's done." Smiled Naruto, before giggling like a moron.

"Um, why are you so... happy?" Gaara spoke wearily, widening his eyes and leaning back a bit.

"Oh man! It's this new medicine- it's great!" Laughed Naruto. "I feel so happy- it's crazy!"

"Gaara, he has ADHD. It's something you'll need to learn to get used to," Laughed Ino, "He sort of... developed it."

Gaara rolled his eyes, and Naruto giggled , when Sasuke-with security guards in tow, was seen to be walking towards them; and just like that the Gaara they loved disappeared and his hardened side seeped over and dominated his features.

"Sasuke?" Gaara's voice was hard and steady, Sakura the only one to hear the questioning tone.

"Gaara." Sasuke bit his lip and then opened his mouth to speak before slamming it shut again. He took a deep breath and, raised his hands, widening then as if to calm himself as he let out the long breath of worry. "Can we talk? In private?" He asked Gaara nervously. "No funny stuff- I swear. But it's... well it's personal."

Gaara opened his mouth to breath in, and he forced the air slowly out through his nostrils. Gaara nodded, and looked down to the ground before staring Sasuke in the eyes. "Yes."

They walked off a ways to the edge of the flower garden, where they were in sight, but out of earshot. Gaara's muscles tensed at the dangerous distance, and Sasuke did his best not to took another deep breath, and swallowed with great difficultly.

"Look, Gaara. I know we've had our... _differences_... but,... " Sasuke shook his head, and bit his lip. He looked up to the sky, summoning the courage to speak on.

"I _know _you fly off the handle, but with her... you're, well, different. You are kind and quiet...," Sasuke let out a frustrated breath,"What I'm_ trying _to say is... You d-" Sasuke shook his head roughly and scowled. "You d-_deserve_ to be with Sakura. Just promise you'll treat her right, okay? Or you'll have _me _to answer to."

Gaara nodded, his face softening, and his tone less hoarse and tense. "It took courage to come and say that-"

"Don't think this means I like you- 'cuz I _don't._" Said Sasuke shaking his head violently, and crossing his arms over his chest. But then his face softened. "Alright, well I gotta go back soon, so... goodbye, Gaara." Sasuke extended a weary hand, and Gaara in turn eyed it wearily. Sasuke's heart sank, and he realized Gaara wasn't going to completely accept the apology. His hand started to make the swing back down to his side when Gaara suddenly grabbed his hand.

"Thank you, for coming out here... I have so much other stuff to think about and worry about... I know you feel the same way- you want to fix all you can, but there's just so much to do, and it's hard. Fixing this- of all things- took guts. And... I do accept your apology. Other than the fact that your a complete _jackass-_" Sasuke laughed at this, for such casual swearing was unlike Gaara, and it lightened the mood perfectly," You're... You're alright. But I don't like you, either. And if you ever try to hurt me, or Sakura- I won't hesitate to rip your head off. But-" Gaara smiled slightly,"It's good to get this off our chests."

Sasuke nodded, and then laughed, though tears were starting to form. "God- you're so different! I've only really known you as... well... a freak. I'm sorry, but that's pretty much true. I was going through a tough time, and I wanted everyone else to be miserable. Speaking of miserable- if you tell anyone else I'm getting all gushy eyed- I swear! I've just lost something good, man... she was the one, ya know? You'd better not screw it up- she's one in a million."

Gaara nodded, and then held out his hand. "Goodbye, Sasuke."

"Bye, Gaara."

And with that, they parted. Gaara went his way, moving on and out to better things, and Sasuke back inside for the healing and help he so desperately needed.

Kankuro hugged his brother goodbye, tears threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry-" Kankuro gasped a shuddering breath and then let it out shakily. "It's just that this is all so fucked up! I can't take it, ya know?"

"Oh! Kankuro, you know, there is someone I'd like you to talk to. I know you don't like talking to therapists, but it'll make you feel better."

"Man, I don't want to see no therapist!" Kankuro's voice slurred after he took a swig of his beer. "They're just.. they don't listen to me, ya know?"

"You've been to see one?"

"Yeah... _Temari _thought it was a crock, a _sham_ she said- but what the hell does she know? Ya know?" Kankuro took another gulp of his beer, downing it.

"Well, I'd still like you to see Doctor Wong, alright? He's really good- he'll listen to you, I promise." Sakura patted Kankuro's arm and slipped the bottle from his hand. She stuck the empty bottle back into the cooler and help Kankuro force himself into the nearly stuffed backseat of the car.

"So, Ino, I'll see you when we get to the house. Thanks for doing this with me, really." Sakura gave her sister a quick hug goodbye, and then awkardly shook hands with Sai. Sai made a sly joke and Ino giggled before smacking his arm and telling him not to be such a potty mouth.

Sakura and Gaara plopped down tiredly into the car,and Sakura glanced over at Gaara who sagged against the door.

"So, what did you guys talk about?" She asked innocently.

"Nothing."Lied Gaara.

"Well, you had to have to talked about something!"

"Well, we apologized... and that was it." Shrugged Gaara.

"Oh. Well, that's good." Smiled Sakura.

* * *

"Wow. This place looks like shit!" Snorted Kankuro after flinging himself from the back seat of the car.

"Shut up! It just needs some tender, loving, care!" Snapped Sakura, backhanding the back of his head.

"OW!" Grunted Kankuro, turning to glare at her. "That hurts, ya know!"

"It's gonna hurt a lot worse if you don't start carrying boxes in," Laughed Sakura, handing him a particularly one.

"Fine, fine..." Grumbled Kankuro. The sidewalk was long, and cracked in many places. The porch was rotting in one of the corners where it was uneven and the water had puddled. The house was a gorgeous, large Victorian, though it was in serious disrepair.

It resided near the lake front, though the lake was quite a ways down the hill from the house. There was a long windy road that lead to their house, and the railing was gone in some of the more dangerous spots, though Sakura was a great driver and didn't need them.

The house itself was mansion sized, but had come so cheap do it to its secluded location and ridiculously bad shape. The roof was in good shape though, as well as the foundation. They were the only things that didn't need redone.

Gaara eyed the place nervously before picking up the heaviest box he could find and lugging it up the walk. He had a queer, scared feeling, but he couldn't tell if it was because he was nervous or the house scared the willies out of him.

**Author's Note- So they're finally moving on! :D I hope you like it! :) Leave reviews- they inspire me to write! :D ALSO- for those of you who want the happy ending, that can and will be arranged, and I will write a warning for the sad ending. The sad ending will be the 'real' ending, and the happy ending will be the alternate ending. The reason for the happy ending being the alternate ending is that the sad ending is my original idea. I know I've said it over and over again, but I'm just trying to explain myself so you guys don't virtual mob me and murder _me_ for murdering _them. _:) **

**Lauren/Mellokai**


	35. One is Broken as the Other is Healing

Gaara set the box down heavily on the floor just inside the door and looked around curiously. He wandered through the doorway into the dining room, and cautiously smelled the stale air. It smelled old and stale, and the he hesitantly was reminded of his grandparent's home- although it had smelled of flower and cookies, rather than the stale impersonal smell he smelled at the moment. His grandparents had lived in an old Victorian as well.

Gaara slowly ascended the creaky stair case that led to the second floor, taking in the sight of the brown peeling walls, nervously eying the groaning steps beneath his feet that were split and extra in some places. The side rail wobbled nauseously, but he tried not to pay attention. He apprehensively pulled himself slowly and softly on the landing, turning to the left, away from the corner of the wall.

The hallway's faded wall paper peeled in some places, but wasn't in too bad a shape. Gaara silently slipped past the closed door, the only evidence of his presence the rustle of wind from his movement blowing the wallpaper to scratch the walls.

Gaara opened one of the doors, and his breath caught. In the first seconds upon opening the door, he had thought a large coat rack with a blanket hanging off the hook to be a man. Upon realizing to be nothing, he scowled and ripped the blanket off the coat rack.

Gaara had forgotten about going to get more boxes, and was simply investigating and exploring the house. Every so often he would stop and open a door, look inside and sniff the air. Some rooms smelled better than others. At random intervals he would feel the texture of the walls and stop to marvel at the haunting eeriness of the place.

Ino, Sai, and Naruto had left as soon as they helped bring in a few boxes, because Naruto wanted to go see Hinata. No to mention that Ino had a date with Sai- for someone she met in a bar, Sai wasn't that bad. Sure, he told nasty jokes, but it wasn't that bad. Naruto brought him around to a happier side of things, usually. And the look in his eyes when he saw Ino... All Sakura could say was that she approved.

He jumped when a hand pressed against his shoulder, and he spun around to find his sweating brother. "Help me out here, buddy. She's like a tyrant- move this- move th-"

Sakura's fingers gripped Kankuro's ear firmly and she started to yank him down the stairs."I wouldn't nag at you if you didn't ignore me and take forever!"

Gaara shook his head and slowly forced himself to go back downstairs and help bring stuff in. He couldn't bear to stand around, but he was so damn tired... But then again, seeing as there was no where to sleep...

* * *

"Mmm. Mac and cheese- it's classic." Laughed Kankuro, plopping down on a box and shoveling the cheesy pasta into his mouth.

Gaara groggily leaned over his bowl, his legs loosely crossed under him on the only clean spot on the floor. He had insisted on cleaning it before he sat down. His eyes would close sometimes, and his head would start to dip lower before he jerked awake. Sakura would prod him in the thigh with her foot when he didn't wake up on his own.

After so long, he set his bowl to the side, and curled up on the floor. He rested his on Sakura's leg, staring up at her as she ate. Sakura loved to watch his sleep, but she wasn't sure if she loved that as much as she loved watching him fall asleep. He looked so vulnerable, the sleep slowly pulling him under... it made her long to hug him, kiss him- do something! Her heart swelled and she felt like crying, even though that wasn't exactly an expected response to the emotion she was feeling.

After Kankuro finished his mac and cheese, Sakura- as if by a miracle- managed to convince him to carry his brother upstairs to the bed that they had set up just for him. In truth, Kankuro would've done it anyway, but he liked to feel that someone needed him. He wondered absently to himself later, after putting Gaara down, if Doctor Wong would actually listen to him, and believe that there could be something wrong with him. All the other doctors had just dismissed it, telling him he was over reacting.

Kankuro wandered off to bed- or rather the floor in the room he was allowed to sleep in that night, leaving Sakura to slip into bed with Gaara. Gaara opened his eyes for a moment before lifting an arm, prompting her to slip happily under it. She rested her head on his bare chest, sighing contentedly as she let herself drift off. Sleep came slowly, the sound of the house creaking and groaning stirring her often. But, the gently crashing and lapping sounds of the water gently led her down the path of sleep, and she soon fell onto the sleep wagon.

Her dreams were strange, leaving her to think that they were probably a result of moving to a new place, but nevertheless- they scared the hell out of her. She was asleep in her bed when suddenly Gaara started tossing and turning. He got out of the bed, and stood near the window, his eyes still closed. They opened every once in a while, but she could tell something about him wasn't right. After a while, he got up and started to walk out of the room. Sakura rose from the bed, intending to stop him.

"Gaara, where are you going?"She whispered, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He didn't acknowledge her touch, or her words. He just kept walking.

Sakura scowled in the dream, and then simply followed him to wherever he was going. He wandered down the stairs, out the front door, and to the edge of the cliff that overlooked the `water below. Gaara stood there a while, the glorious moonlight redeeming his handsome features, and Sakura could help but feel a pang of lust at the way his beautiful red hair tossed so recklessly in the breezy wind. Her own hair buffeted her face, and she smiled. She could almost picture Gaara sweeping her off her feet and carrying her into the water of the lake.

Gaara began to systematically remove his clothes, leaving only his boxers. Sakura stared on mystified, and then her chest tightened. He was going to jump! Sakura jumped out of the darkness that had concealed her so well, and plowed into his side. Gaara looked up startled, and the looked around.

"Where am I? And ow! What the hell was that for?" Gaara glared at her, picking himself up off the ground. Upon closer inspection, she realized it wasn't in fact Gaara, but Kankuro. What could the dream possibly mean?

Sakura was beginning to worry that she had a 'crush' of some sort of Kankuro- and that could only lead to problems.

The next morning, Sakura sighed as she got out of bed. She groaned slightly, cracking her back as she stood up. She glanced down at the floor, avoiding the large crack in the tile as she made her way across the bathroom to the sink. And she gasped at what she saw.

Her feet were covered in dirt, and her arm was red where 'Gaara' had grabbed her arm in her dream. He had been pushing her away, but when Sakura almost fell off the cliff, he'd grabbed her.

Sakura hastily washed her feet, and then brushed her teeth. She yanked the covers up and off Gaara's feet, only to find them clean. Just as she had thought.

Sakura scurried over to Kankuro's room where he was sleeping on the floor, and nudged the covers back with her foot. His feet were just as dirty as hers had been, if not dirtier. She guessed she had been tired, and her eyes had been playing tricks on her.

She carefully covered his feet back up, and then slowly walked back to where Gaara was asleep. She sat on the bed, turned away from him to the wall. After so long, Gaara sat up and looked at her. He raised himself up onto his elbows and lazily watched her sit there, and after watching her sit stonily for several minutes, he tapped her on the shoulder.

"What's wrong?" It was a question, but rather a demand to know what was wrong with her for her to sit so unlike herself. He pulled himself out from under the covers and knelled behind her, snaking his arms around her possessively.

"Your brother left the house last night. I was half asleep... thought he was you... I followed him out to the cliff. He took off half his clothes, and was getting ready to dive in. I don't know if he was trying to off himself, or if he was sleepwalking..."Sakura struggled to find the right words, and hoped that Gaara could offer some comfort, but she instead felt his arms go rather next thing she knew,he was pulling himself off of her, and flopping deflatedly back onto the bed.

Sakura rolled over, and guiltily snuggled up close to him. She rested her head on his chest, tracing meaningless patterns on his slightly toned could see slight scratch marks where she'd scratched him in her sleep. Gaara's breathing was slow and deep, contemplative and guilty. Sakura didn't know why _he_ should feel guilty- but he obviously did.

"Gaara, I'm sure he was just sleep walking. I'll tell Doctor Wong that he needs to see him today, ok? Just relax, I'm sure it will all work itself out, okay?" Sakura tickled his ribs lightly, hoping to get some sort of response from him. She knew for a fact that he was ticklish, but today he wasn't. He ungracefully shoved her arm away and rolled off the bed. Sakura stared after him longingly as he left- she was reminded of an old saying from somewhere, though she couldn't remember where from.

She hated to see him go, but _loved_ to watch him leave. Sakura slammed her head back onto the bed and sighed. Things weren't getting any easier now that she'd gotten Gaara out of the institution. They seemed to be getting _worse.

* * *

"_Hey, Kankuro...." Gaara plopped down on Kankuro's blanket, and prodded his brother in the side. He could see the dirt on his brothers feet and knew she was right. He had been out by the cliff- the dirt there was different than the dirt in the yard.

"Wha-.....?" Kankuro lazily rolled over to face his brother.

"Did you try to throw yourself off of cliff last night?" Gaara asked bluntly.

"I- wait- _what!?_" Kankuro's face screwed up with surprise, and he stared at Gaara as though he were insane. _"What the hell_ are you talking about?!"

"You tell me. Look at your feet." Growled Gaara, throwing the covers back off his brothers feet. Kankuro had burried them under the covers while talking to Gaara.

"Huh? What the _fuck_! Did _you_ do that? If this is a joke it _isn't _funny, Gaara!" Snapped Kankuro.

"It's not." Sighed Sakura, standing in the doorway. "I wish it was, but it isn't." Kankuro's comprehension of her words dawned on him, and he leaned back onto the floor. He tucked his muscular arms underneath his hed, exposing his hairy armpits to view. His naked chest constricted, the muscles rippling nervously with each breath.

"So... I was thinking, maybe...." Sakura drifted off unsure of how to tell him he was going to see Doctor Wong whether he liked it or not.

"It would be a good idea if I went to see that guy?" Offered Kankuro defeatedly. Sakura nodded her head, and Kankuro nodded with a growl of defeat, yanking his pillow out from under his head and pressing to his and Sakura took this as their cue to leave, and they did.

Sakura closed the door, and was ten steps away when he let out the scream he been holding back. It was the manlier screams she'd ever heard, but definitely not one of the most tortured. Though, it was pretty close.

He'd lost his sister, to find out that he could've had his brother by his side all along, and that the reason he was so miserable was her fault. He and Shikamaru had become drinking buddies- they had been getting trashed more and more often.

Sakura could only hope things got better for Kankuro, and still improved for Gaara. It seemed once one thing in her life was beginning to patch itself up, anothed was smashed to pieces.

**Author's Note- So, hope you like. :) Read and review!!!!! Till next time! Comments and constructive crit ARE appreciated! Thanks to all my readers who stick with the story and review, and all that jazz! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT! :D **

**Lauren/Mellokai  
**


	36. Doctor, Doctor

"Hi, Kankuro." There was the tone of a smile in his voice, but his face remained calm and composed. He had a round nose, and dark hair that was neat and trimmed. He wore a suit, though it wasn't a fancy tuxedo. It was a calm suit, a work suit, and everyday suit.

"Hey." Grunted Kankuro gruffly. He scratched the back of his neck, and agitatedly pushed his sleeves up. He then sat across from Doctor Wong in the light tan swivel chair. His muscled legs took up most of the seat, and he leaned back groggily.

"Are you tired?" Asked Doctor Wong. Kankuro nodded, his head brushing deliciously against the soft fabric. The chair itself had a deep seat, and he liked it. It was comfortable and squishy. "Kankuro, do you sleepwalk often?"

"Huh-uh, only when I was a kid." Murmured Kankuro. Usually he didn't speak about these kinds of things, but he was just so damn tired...

"Do you remember any specific accounts of when you sleepwalked?" Asked Doctor Wong, adjusting himself to a more comfortable position.

"Mhm." Sighed Kankuro. He hooked his arm over his face to make a pillow for it, and leaned against it.

"Could you, maybe, describe it to me?" Doctor Wong's eyes widened ever so slightly in wait of Kankuro's answer.

"Mhm. I was little.... Maybe five... And Temari was... she was doing something. I can't remember what. She was getting him.... she was getting him something... breakfast- she was getting him breakfast..."Kankuro's face screwed itself up as he tried to remember more.

"Why is this so significant to your sleepwalking to, do you think?"

"I don't know. But I remember Gaara going to the bus stop with me, and then he just starting puking... over... and over. He wouldn't stop! He was puking so much he couldn't even breathe!" Kankuro's eyes popped open as he remembered. "That's what it was! He went to the hospital, and they said that there had been traces of... of a household cleaner in his stomach, and his puke. When he was a kid, he had a weak stomach. Hell, he can eat anything now, but when he was little, he had to eat home-made stuff. He was always getting sick when we let him eat cereal and stuff.... But it wasn't the food! It was... Temari."

"Kankuro, did you see Temari put the cleaner in Gaara's food?" Asked Dr. Wong gently. Kankuro's eyes snapped shut again and he pressed himself into the chair.

"I don't remember! Why are you doing this? I don't _want_ to remember anymore! I just want to go lie down somewhere, and never ever get up, that way I don't have to remember! Don't you understand that!?" Kankuro leaned forward, and put his head in his hands. He'd never talked about this stuff before, and it was hard to even think about talking about it. "I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"Okay, Kankuro." Kankuro looked up, surprise riddling his handsome features.

"Huh? You're not going to..." Kankuro searched for the right word, and Dr. Wong waited patiently. "_Make_ me talk?"

"No, you're obviously not ready to talk, so I'm not going to push you. That's not what you need." Said Dr. Wong honestly. "Have people made you talk to them before?"

Kankuro nodded, and scratched the back of his shoulder, clearly embarrassed. "All of the other... _people_ I've gone to see. My Dad actually took me to see them, when I was a kid. He was really as bad as he seemed. Raising Gaara for him... Well, you know. He didn't find out until Gaara was three that he wasn't his. Mom _had _been pregnant, but you know..." Kankuro trailed off, realizing that he'd been talking too much. "He couldn't raise Gaara, knowing it wasn't even his kid. He hated Mom for doing that to him, and... he couldn't be mad at her- he loved her too much. So... he started to hate Gaara."

Dr. Wong nodded, waiting to see if Kankuro would go on. When Kankuro didn't, he asked Kankuro about the new house that Sakura had told him of.

"Eh. It's okay... It's creepy as fuck though- at night it's really... eerie." Kankuro shuddered at the thought, and Dr. Wong smiled.

"When I was a kid, I went on vacation to my Aunt's house, out in the country... That house was older than my Aunt, but just as scary."

Kankuro laughed, and Dr. Wong smiled. "I had to sleep on the floor last night- I don't like sleeping on the floor. Especially when you've moved into a new place. There's dirt and nasty shit down there. But I never get around to being a clean person, somehow. Eh, whatever." Kankuro snuggled up to the chair again and closed his eyes.

His eyes closed for a second, and then nearly a minute. let him sleep, wondering if he would sleep walk. Or at least, sleep talk.

Kankuro sat up straighter, and his eyes only opened half way. "Wong?"

"Yes, Kankuro?" Asked Dr. Wong calmly.

"Do you ever think of... just ending it all?" Asked Kankuro lazily.

"How do you mean?" Asked Dr. Wong, honestly not wanting to hear the answer. He knew Sakura wasn't going to be happy- it meant Kankuro was obviously suicidal, whether he wanted to recognize it or not.

"You know... just, _do away with it?_" Kankuro let out a shuddering sigh, and scowled. "Sometimes it just seems easier, but it makes stuff harder for everyone else. Dying is so damn expensive nowadays..."

"Yeah, you're right about that." Laughed Dr. Wong. Kankuro didn't want to be told he had a problem, he wanted someone to listen and tell him that it was okay to feel that way, and possibly even sympathize.

clapped his hands to see if Kankuro was truly sleeping, and to his surprise, Kankuro wasn't. "What the hell was that for?"

"Nothing. Just caught a fly." Dr. Wong threw the 'fly' at the garbage can, and Kankuro's drowsy eyes tried to follow it. "Okay, well, Kankuro. I'm afraid our time is up. If you would like to see me again, you can schedule an appointment. If you don't want to come back, that is fine as well, but I _would_ like to talk to you again."

Kankuro smiled, and shook Dr. Wong's hand appreciatively. "It was... well, not fun, but good. Thanks."

Dr. Wong nodded, and then Kankuro walked back out into the waiting room, where Gaara was staring boredly at the ceiling and Sakura was reading a girle magazine- **DON'T YOU LOVE THOSE?!!?** :) Sorry. :P

Kankuro cleared his throat, and Gaara and Sakura jumped up. "How was it?" Asked Sakura smiling. Kankuro shrugged uncomfortably in front of the other people, and caught the eye of a short girl waiting in one of the blue chairs. She smiled, and he lifted the corner of his mouth. Sakura and Gaara followed out of the room to the receptionist's desk, where they made him another appointment.

Kankuro plopped down next to the girl, and shamelessly flipped it over so he could read the cover. She rolled her eyes but smiled, and he shrugged.

"What is it with these things?"He asked with a scowl. "I mean really- my sister tried those disgusting diets all the time, and then _I_ had to hear her whine about them. "

"What is with men and porn?" Asked the girl pointedly, widening her chocolate brown eyes innocently. Kankuro smiled with a laugh, knowing he'd been bettered.

"Oh! I see how it is! But seriously-"

"I don't try those crazy diets, you know. I've never been one to be so dedicated. I'm more into... instant gratification. Those things take too long. And I'm betting, that by the looks of you, you don't have an overwhelming plethora of porn." She giggled and Kankuro smiled.

"Uhm, no not really. " He admitted. "But... you know."(**A/N- I'm guessing don't kill me.) **

"Kankuro, it's time to go!" Sakura's head popped through the doorway.

"When's your next appointment?" Asked Kankuro.

"Uhm, two or three weeks. " She smiled nervously, and shrugged. "I'll have them schedule me the same day as you."

"Okay, I'll see you then." Smiled Kankuro smugly.

"Hang on a sec- what's your name?" She asked standing up nervously.

"Kankuro."

"Alright Kankuro, I'm Kai." (See! Aren't I a GENIUS!? Ok, I didn't think of it, but i came from my user name- MelloKAI)

"Bye."

"Goodbye, Kankuro." She smiled and then plopped back down into her seat with a wide smile.

* * *

Gaara pulled the covers over his head, blocking out the light filtering through the windows. His head throbbed potently as bright spiraling patterns of light danced in front of his light aquamarine eyes.

The creaking of the old house sent his delirious mind reeling, and at times he found himself unable to recall just where the hell he was. He tried to get out of the bed, and wander around to find someone, but the strange sickness had coaxed him back into the delicious warmth of the king sized bed.

At times he was so cold that he had broken out in goosebumps, bump then had formed a thin sheen of sweat on top of that. Sakura was back at work, and Kankuro was out at his office job, and then he would be out bar tending all night.

Gaara's stomach gurgled emptily, and he felt sick to his stomach. He wanted something to eat desperately, but he couldn't for the life of him get downstairs. He'd been able to make it to the bathroom a time or two to puke his brains out. He would each time gulp down some water, for the brushing of the teeth had been too much of an effort.

The second time coming back from the bathroom, he had made it back to the bed only to promptly pass out. His dreams were strange, and consisted of dead people coming after him, and his mother chasing him. At one point he was drowning in the tub, and Sakura and Tsunade holding him in the tub of icy water... Such strange dreams...

* * *

"Sakura! We've got to get this fever down- I know it seems awful, but just do it.!" Ordered Tsunade, dumping the bag of ice into the water. Gaara's eyes were wild and confused as he thrashed.

"Lemme go!" he slurred, panic stricken. "I din' do anything! Lemme _go!_"

Sakura had to use all of her strength to hold him still, and even when he grew tired from the sickness and effort he was exerting, he still tried to struggle. He mumbled in his near sleep-like state and finally his eyes slipped closed.

"Quick, take his temperature before he wakes up!" Hissed Sakura, running a calming hand over Gaara's sweaty, warm face.

The minute ticked by dangerously slow, and Tsunade scowled. "One-oh-three. He's _still_ too hot. Put this on his head." Tsunade wet a washcloth and handed it to Sakura. Sakura gingerly placed the cold washcloth on Gaara's head and his eyes opened miserably slow.

"Why are you trying to kill me...?" He asked miserably.

"Oh, honey, we're not!" Whispered Sakura, "You've got a fever, see? We've got to cool you down."

Recognition showed in Gaara's eyes and he seemed to relax. He glanced down at the cool water, however, and then frantically tried to cover himself- he'd been stripped down to his boxers. They were black with little smilies all over them- Kankuro had bought them for himself, but had given them to Gaara upon seeing Gaara's somewhat nonexistent clothing collection.

After what seemed like eternity, Gaara's temperature came to one-oh-one, and they were able to take him out the tub. He shivered as they walked him back to his room, and away from the claw footed tub. Sakura wrapped him in a thin towel, and then handed him some tylenol and motrin. Gaara took them without complaint, and lied down on the bed, on top of the covers.

Sakura lied down next to him, after getting confirmation from Tsunade that she could have the day off. Gaara obviously had no clue how to take care of himself, and nor was he equipped to. He barely had the energy to wave goodbye to her.

Sakura sighed, propping herself up on her elbow, and played with his hair with her other hand. Gaara sighed softly, his eyes still closed and Sakura smiled ruefully. He was like a little kid when he got sick and vulnerable. She didn't' know why, but he was irresistible when he was miserable. She pushed the thought from her mind, because it was grossly inappropriate.

But then, when had either of them ever been very appropriate? She smiled, and rested her head on the pillow next to him and continued to play with his hair. There would be other days for that. But today... she just wanted to be close to him.

**Author's Note- I have finished this chapter! :D I am sorry to keep putting off the ending, but I can seem to bring myself into it. Maybe next chapter. :) Yes, I think I have the idea for it! :D Bear with me. RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DON"T WANT IT TO END!**

**Do you like my character? I just threw myself in on a whim, so don't be hating! ;)**

**Lauren/MelloKAi  
**


	37. Kisses and Cocktails

Gaara lifted his head from the pillow, and then let it fall back. His energy had deserted him- but Sakura hadn't. Her hand still rested on his shoulder, though she was already sleeping. His hair was still slightly wet, and he remembered the ice cold bath. His hair wasn't cool anymore, but warm where it had rested against the pillow. Gaara ran a hand groggily through his hair and then sighed. Sakura rooted closer to the sound of his voice, and wrapped a smooth arm around him. Gaara rested his arm on top of hers, as if to comfort her- even though he was the sick one.

His stomach rumbled loudly, and he winced at the sound of it. It was so loud in fact, that it woke Sakura up. She looked around in panic- for a moment she had thought that there was an earthquake, but when she discovered that it had only been Gaara's stomach, she laughed. "Hungry?"

Gaara pleaded with his eyes, his voice having left him after many hours of retching into that porcelain nightmare. He nodded slightly and Sakura sighed, pulling herself away from him. "Alright. What do you want?"

Gaara tried to tell her, only to find his voice sticking painfully in his throat, and refusing to come out. He rolled his eyes angrily and shrugged. He didn't care as long as he got his damn food. He tried to hold back a particularly painful cough, and then scowled. The only thing good about being sick is how good it feels when your done being sick.

Sakura came back ten minutes later, toting spicy ramen, toast, and a tall glass of bubbly water. Strawberry and raspberry mixed together- it was his favorite. He tried to give her a kiss, but she wouldn't kiss him because he was sick. His brother, who had just been getting home from his office job laughed.

"I'm not kissing you until you get better," Laughed Sakura.

"You just got _shot down_, bro." Laughed Kankuro. Gaara shot him a deathly mad look and Kankuro wilted. He hunched his shoulders slightly and shuffled off down the hall without looking back.

"What did you do _that_ for?" Asked Sakura angrily. Gaara shrugged and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Just because your miserable doesn't mean you get to take it out on your brother. I expect you to treat him like you treat me- kindly, thank you." Gaara rose a disgusted brow and clamped a hand over his mouth.

Sakura, realizing that she had just told him to 'treat Kankuro like her' swatted at him. Gaara swayed away from her, the hand still over his mouth. He started to gag and Sakura rolled her eyes. "Look- I appreciate your new-found humor, but really-" Gaara's eyes bore into hers and she realized he wasn't joking.

Sakura pulled the tray away from him and Gaara was off like a shot. He ran across the room faster than she'd ever seen anyone run, and hadn't even stopped moving before he puked into his porcelain nightmare. It seemed to him that he would forever be plagued with dreams of that damn toilet! Just earlier that day he'd dreamed that the toilet came to life and was trying to eat him. The toilet seat would flat open and shut, as it chased him to and fro, claiming how good he was going to taste and just exactly how he was going to be eaten.

It seemed amazing to him how awful something that had been eaten only seconds ago could taste the second time around. The veins in his neck felt as if they were going to burst open, and the pitiful moans and shivering sounds one lets out after puking embarrassed him. The fact that she didn't particularly mind him being sick and disgusting warmed him somewhat, and the shivering chills he felt seemed to be going away the more time he spent with her.

Sakura sighed softly, getting up from the bed and making her way over to him. She picked up a clean washcloth and wet it, cleaning the puke from his mouth and chin. She handed him his toothbrush, equipped with toothpaste and he vigorously scrubbed the foul taste from his mouth. It seemed to him the harder he scrubbed, the better chance had at becoming better. But, the more toothpaste he tasted, the more he wanted to throw up again.

"So, were being humorous before, or did you really just want to throw up?" Asked Sakura, leaning sexily against the doorway.

"A little bit of both, actually." Coughed Gaara drowsily. He splashed some cold water on his face and leaned next to her, wiping the water away with a towel. His hair had dried some time ago, though it now stuck up in haywire and random patches.

Sakura scowled, kissing him full on the lips and throwing all caution to the wind. It was a quick, but deliberate kiss, and Gaara's eyes widened in surprise.

"I thought you wouldn't kiss me until I got better?" Smirked Gaara, raising a brow.

"_Well..._ Maybe you're better, as far as I'm concerned. I have poor word choice," Smiled didn't quite know what to make of her comment, so he just smiled that lopsided grin and winked at her. It wasn't something he'd normally do, but what did he have to lose other than his lunch?

* * *

Kankuro heard Sakura's giggle, and he was almost proud to say that he knew that kind of giggle. It was the kind of giggle that made other men want to go see what was going on, and if there was any possibility of them being able to help out.

So what did he do? No, you pervs! He left- heading out to the bar. He didn't mind working a double shift if it meant some extra pocket money. He wondered what that girl from the therapists' office was, and what she was doing. But, then he thought again- how good could a girl be if she was seeing a therapist? But then he held back a thoughtful smile.

If he was going to a therapist, what did he have to worry about? And she seemed happy enough. He didn't know that she really was, but that she just went there out of habit, and to have someone that she could really be honest was always a good thing.

Kankuro opened the door of the bar, and high-fived his friends behind the counter. They were a bit surprised to see him, but they knew that this was where he came when he either needed to avoid his troubles or just hang out. They'd only known him for a few months, but they seemed to get him and understand what he was going through. Some of them had tough lives as well, and the others were just the happy-go-lucky guys who could feel bad for you. Granted, there were a few who had regular lives but moped about them, but coming to the bar made everything seem better and they usually left happier than when they came in.

Kankuro leaned into the sink in the bathroom, then scowled, cupping his hands under the flow of the water to bring a handful to his face. He scrubbed soaplessly over his stubble and smoothed down his eyebrows. Kankuro then grabbed one of the paper towels and scrubbed his face vigorously even though the towels felt pretty roughly the same in comparison to sand paper.

He ran a hand through his hair- force of habit- and then exited the restroom. It was the employees' rest room, which was better than the public one. The public one might have more room, and better lighting, but it didn't have the constant flow of drunk people past ten o' clock on their way to vomit.

"Hey, Sakana- where's the wife?" Asked Kankuro curiously. Sakana's wife was co-owned the bar with Sakana, but tonight she wasn't here, which was unusual seeing as she was always there to co-bartend.

"Ramu's down with flu, or something like that. She got it from her sister. I think that ramen I let you have last night was hers. So, uh, don't eat it." Laughed Sakana sheepishly.

"Are you shitting me? I let my little brother eat that last night! I got home and he was watching Tv. He kept stealing out of my bowl so I just gave it to him." Laughed Kankuro. "Oh well. His girlfriend's _comforting_ him, so I don't think _he_ cares."

"My wife had an awful fever, though, so just be careful with him, 'kay?" Pressed Sakana.

"Sure. But I think he's over the fever. His doctor was over earlier. Talk about house-calls. I wouldn't mind a house call from her if you know what I'm sayin'!" Snickered Kankuro.

Tsu-ru high-fived him and declared: "Yeah! I'm gonna get me some _ass_ tonight!"

Kankuro rolled his eyes, knowing that Tsu-ru's nickname suited him. His nickname translated literally to tool. But, the girls he tended to hang around could give a shit less- they were there for the same thing he was.

Kankuro began to wipe down the counter and then set up the drinks for the night.

When he was done, he sat back and sighed. He actually worked at a pretty good bar/club. They had security and everything to keep out the assholes that tried to force themselves on women, and to take people's keys and order cabs to pick them all they had to do was wait.

* * *

"Just one drink,okay? That way I can say I've done it, and you two will get off my back." Laughed a familiar female voice, half way into the night.

'_I know that voice... from where?'_ Thought Kankuro, readying his hands to prepare the girls a drink.

"Okay mister bartend-" The girl cut off, and then shook her head. "Okay, uh... I know you. Wait- don't I?"

"Kai?" Asked Kankuro. "What are you doing here?"

"Girls night out! You know the big G-N-O?" Smiled Kai. "So... uhm, hey- I don't really like the whole hard liquor thing. What... fruity stuff do you have?" She shrugged sheepishly. "I don't think being drunk is very attractive, especially when someone's _holding your hair for you._"

"That makes two of us," Smirked Kankuro, rolling his eyes. "Here, try this."

"What is it?" She questioned, giving it a suspiscious sniff.

"Just try it. I made it up." Kai sighed, then shrugged.

"What the worst that could happen?"

-O_O-

**YOU DECIDE! What did he make? I know the hard liquors- don't like'em. So give me a cute fruity drink that you like! :) **

**REVIEWS! **

**Lauren/MelloKAI  
**


	38. A Crazy Crapper and a Creep

Gaara let Sakura wrap her arms around him in her sleep, and let her press her somewhat dainty head to his chest. She seemed to like being close to him, and Gaara didnt' mind it at all- in fact he liked it when she slept close to him like this. It made him feel human. She sighed softly into his soft, smooth skin and he closed his eyes, beckoning the sleep closer. It came slowly at first,but then swept him under in one feel swoop.

The moment his eyes closed he wished that he hadn't. He was being chased by the damn toilet again! He ran down the hallway, and took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. He was cornered now, and he had no chance of escape unless he was planning on magically teleporting out of there. So what if it was his dream? He had about as much control over that as he did over his bed head. Which was not at all.

"What do you want from me?!" He shouted at the toilet.

"Stop _puking _in me! How would you like it if I puked into _your_ mouth!?" Retorted the toilet, snapping it's mouth open and shut to emphasize its point. Gaara was getting it's point all right, but he didn't think that the toilet cared too much.

Gaara started to nervously back away inch to the right, and the toilet pounced. It caught his head between the seat and started to viscously snap open and shut on his head. Gaara could feel the slapping of the toilet seat on his head, and it hurt something awful.

"Stop! I won't puke in you anymore, I swear!" Yelled Gaara.

Sakura, who had been sleeping on his chest in content sleep had been awoke by the cry of: I won't puke in you anymore! She shook Gaara awake, still giggling like an idiot when he finally came around.

"Y-you are such a dork!" She laughed through giggles. Gaara scowled and rolled over onto his other side so he faced away from her."Oh, come on, Gaara! I was kidding!"

Gaara only grunted in response, though he didn't roll over. He stared angrily at the wall, ignoring her pleading touch and sensual kisses on his shoulder. "Fine. Be a grouch!" Retorted Sakura, rolling away from to face away from him on her side. She toyed with the bed sheet and sighed, wishing she hadn't opened her mouth. Just because he was out of the Institution didn't mean he was automatically cured. He was still touchy and sensitive, whether or not he would admit it.

Sakura traced the pattern on the bedspread and wondered idly what he sister was doing. Probably having a romp with Sai- Sai seemed like the type that Ino would go for. Especially considering the fact that _that_ was one of the main things Ino seemed to go for. But, that was probably why the majority of her relationships turned to shit- she didn't usually look for love in a relationship.

Gaara couldn't believe that she was being so rude as to poke fun at his nightmares, and the awful reaction he was having to them. That was the scaredest he'd been in a long time, and yet she was making fun of him and calling him a dork. Well, he'd deny her the right to even look at him, which he knew she loved to do when she was tired. She seemed to think that if she thought about it enough, just before she went to sleep, that she would dream of him.

He didn't mind the fact that she wanted to dream about him, but he wished she would think before she treated some nastily. If there was thing he hated, it was being made fun of. But, at least Sakura didn't do that _too_ much. God knows his brother did, but he couldn't really help himself. Sakura thought it was good to be exposed to that, because it would mean that he had to learn to deal with it. A lot of his improvements were small and trivial, but somewhat meaningful to him.

He had made one improvement that she particularly enjoyed. Gaara didn't need use of the bonds that she'd made sure he left at the Institution. Thank god for small favors, huh? Though, Sakura _was _worried about one thing. She hadn't gotten her period as she'd been supposed to, but she couldn't tell Gaara, not as fragile as he still wafs.

She could only hope that he wouldn't notice. But, seeing as he was one of the most perceptive men she'd ever met, she could be sure he'd find out sooner or later.

* * *

Kai took a long drag on the edge of the glass, slipping slowly and deliberately. The instant the drink hit her tongue she squealed. She waved her hands around and then flashed him a thumbs up and a smile. "Yum! What the heck is this?! I love it!"

"Well, its close to a Jolly Rancher, but I added some Blueberry Schnapps to it. I haven't got a name for it, but Tsu-ru calls it the Gay Cowboy, because it's all fruity." Kankuro shrugged and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Asked Kai, leaning in and taking a sip of her cocktail.

"I don't know. It's just... I'm trying to have a good time, but I just feel really run down tonight. I slept on the floor last night." Kankuro rubbed at the back of his neck subconsciously, and Kai only smiled.

"You know, my friends tell me I have magic fingers." She smirked, wiggling her fingers. "I'm apparently the best masseuse of all my friends. But, that's kind of awkward, you know..." Kai turned a little red, and resolved to steal another tiny sip of her drink. She was glad she was particularly buzzing yet, because for her it was a pretty thin line to walk on.

"Not really." Shrugged Kankuro. "Now _that_ is odd, haha!" A man, was giving getting it on with woman right in the middle of the bar on the pool table, and Kankuro grabbed his walkie-talkie and order security to come get them.

Kai had turned a deep red, and she repressed a nervous giggle. "What's the world coming to when you can't even find a stall to have sex in?" She laughed, and then added the fact that she was kidding, and then scowled. She was being weird again.

"You don't think before you speak, do you?" Asked Kankuro rudely, unaware of the fact that to any other girl this might be an insult.

"Right to the point, huh? And no, not really!" Laughed Kai. "I'm like a teeny-bopper-fan-girl. Think first, and let P-R do the damage control."

Kankuro smiled and sighed. "_My_ mouth has gotten me into trouble a few- okay, a _lot_ of times. My brother just glares at me whenever I say something strange, or rude." Kankuro shrugged and downed a shot even though he was bar tending. Apparently he was _that_ good at holding his liquor. He pushed her new cocktails, one after the other knowing fully well what he was doing. But, even though she was buzzed or drunk- he couldn't tell- her thought process didn't seem that impaired. **(Never been wasted before, so STFU! I know that's bull, but my body is pretty tolerant and I'm level headed person. Screw you.:))**

"So, how about that back rub?" Smiled Kankuro after hefting a large box of liquor onto the counter. "My back is _killing_ me." He didn't care who she was at the moment- if he could get a back rub out of it-great.

Kai thought about it then sighed. "If people can have sex on a pool table in a crowded room, I guess I can rub your back..." Kai easily pulled herself over the counter, and then gladly accepted the stool that Kankuro offered her. "Deep tissue or ...?"

"Hard." Grunted Kankuro, pouring a scruffy looking man a drink.

Kai positioned herself on the stool behind him, and then placed her small, strong hands on his shoulders and flexed her fingers, testing his back muscles. They were tight, and wrought with tension."You don't do this very often, do you?"

"Never, actually." Confessed Kankuro, shrugging his muscled shoulders. Kai sighed and began to slowly knead his skin and muscles. Kankuro's eyes bulged out for a second at the strange feelings of relief and comfort and then felt his muscles tense as he wondered if she'd felt it. She ran her fingers in a no-nonsense matter down his spine, a finger on each side of the vertebrates, and applying pressure evenly. She worked back up his spine and branch out to circle her thumbs in firm, relaxing circles and when Kankuro remained tensed she scowled audibly.

"Kankuro, chill out. That's the _point_ of a massage. I don't care what you've been told- but you need to relax in order for this to work." Kankuro forced his shoulders to drop, and then had to remind himself every-so-often to keep them dropped down. After a while though, her fingers settled into a rhythm and she was literally turning him to putty. He wanted to lie down so she could continue the back massage- that way he could just drift off to sleep.

Kankuro leaned against the bar, stretching his muscles back out in all its glory, and Kai repressed a smile. She'd never imagined to find the hottie from the psychologist's office at the bar, serving tantalizing drinks that she couldn't turn down. They were too damn good! And his muscles.... She wanted to rip off his shirt and rub oil all over them. But that was neither here nor there.

Kai worked over to his shoulders and sighed, her eyes growing heavy as well. She wondered if her friends had left yet, and hoped that they hadn't. Because that would mean that they took her car... Oh well, she could just hail a taxi. Her hands were slowing down, and Kankuro was taking note of the slower and slower sighs and sometime sudden breaks to crack her fingers of shake them loose to wake them up disturbed the massage somewhat, but his nerve endings were still tingling at the feel of her touch.

"Kankuro...?" She murmured slowly, leaning her head forward and yet resisting the urge to lean her forehead against his back.

"Mmm?" Answered Kankuro, scanning the bad to see if anyone was asking for second shots. He was propped up on his elbows, and whenever he felt her do something particularly good he'd dip his head down and let it hang.

"I'm really sorry, but my hands are falling asleep." She almost-whispered.

"Mmkay." Sighed Kankuro, letting her get down from the stool. "Uh, thanks. That was ... nice."

"No problem, Kanku..." Kai had sat down on the opposite side of the bar near one of her friends and had rested her head was already slipping off into sleep as the girl beside her began to throw back more and more shots. Kankuro sighed, and turned his attention back to tending the bar.

A man of average height plopped down next to Kai and ordered a shot of whiskey and a glass of Scotch. He downed the whiskey and sipped the Scotch, eying the women at the bar carefully. He was hunting. He brushed his dingy golden hair out of his green eyes and sighed. The harsh smell of the liquor on his breath was strong and somehow stale as though he'd been drinking all evening.

"Hey, girls, has she been drinking?" Asked the odd looking man, pointing to Kai.

The girls only giggled and nodded, thinking he had meant the girl behind in front of Kai. "Tsk, tsk. Come on honey. You need to stop drinking so much!" He began to help Kai up and wrapped a protective arm around Kai.

Kankuro eyed her angrily, mad at the fact that she would act in such a manner even if she wasn't single. He turned his thoughts to the shot in front of him and swallowed it wordlessly.

"Who the hell are you!?" Spat Kai, attempting to pull herself free of the strange man's hold.

"Honey, it's me! You've just had too much to drink is all," Sighed the man, trying to look caring. Kai would've broken free, if not for the fact that she was inebriated and impossibly tired.

"Kankuro!" She squealed, still tugging at her arm as she tried to wrench it free. "I don't want... No- stop it!"

Kankuro looked up, at the sound of his name, hearing the urgency behind it. His gaze settled on Kai and he scowled, realizing that it wasn't her boyfriend but one of the weird sickos that picked up drunk girls and guided them out of the bar- even though they had no idea who the girls were. They would be able to look like the responsible caring boyfriend, and the girls would look drunk and out of their mind.

"Do we have a problem here?" He snapped boredly, pulling Kai easily out of the creeper's grip.

"No, my girlfriend here-"

"I'm not your girlfriend! I don't even _know_ you!" Hissed Kai, angrily pushing the man backward.

Kankuro once again talked into the walkie-talkie and a burly looking security guard came to 'see the man out'.

Kai swayed uncertainly, her fatigue washing over her and the dizziness of the alchohol in her system combining together to make a dizzy-bomb. " 'Ro, I need to sit down..."

Kankuro sighed and helped her back to the bar, wondering why on Earth he'd gotten a new nickname. He liked his own name just fine, but at least he didn't have a crazy nickname, like mumbled something incoherent and fatigued, and he just sighed.

He helped her behind the counter, because if she was going to sleep, she might as well leave the seat open so he could get another person to by drinks. At least that was what he told his boss when he asked why there was a young lady sleeping behind the counter.

**Author's Note- So yes, this is sidetracked, and no it doesn't capture the beginning, but I am working on it. SERIOUSLY. I am already plotting it out, and I know how it's going to happen, and who will do what, so please bear with me! Thank you Kallou- I used your suggesiton! :D And thank SuperHyuga YoshiChan, even though that wasn't exactly what I was going for. :) **

**Lauren/Mellokai. **

**P.S. I know I am going to kill them off, so there needs to be a bit more time anyway. :) THINGS NEED TO GROW! :D MUHAHAH!  
**


	39. Lost and Found, Someone Help Him

Sakura stared at her stomach in the mirror, prodding it gently with her fingers, duly noting that it would be a while til' she got big, and also noting that she couldn't quite feel the baby in there yet. Granted, it had only been about a month since they'd... got it on, but, that generally came with the territory of being pregnant. She was trying to bring Gaara around to the fact that she was pregnant, without exactly telling him, but it was hard. She couldn't force a kid on him, when she knew how he'd felt about one of his fathers.

Gaara had been avoiding her all day, thinking that she'd been mad at him for something with all the glares she was shooting in his direction. He was moving boxes in the attic now, just to avoid her. She had been ordering him around all day at a pace that demanded all his effort, and he was still a bit weak from being sick. She wasn't going to get his best, and she needed to accept that right now.

Gaara pushed a heavy box containing multiple other boxes into a corner and then leaned against it, his head spinning as he panted in and out. His hair clung to his face in wisps and a trickle of sweat ran down his back whenever he straightened up. The temperature in the attic was considerably hotter than the rest of the house, and Gaara couldn't stand it for much longer. He felt like he was baking in an oven, but he didn't know if that compared to Sakura's mood and vicious glares.

He heard footfalls on the creaky steps, and then sighed with relief when he realized that the heavy steps were his brother. Kankuro appeared in the doorway, his arm bearing a bookbag and his body bearing cool, casual attire. In his other hand he carried a large pitcher of Kool-aid.

"Yo. Your old lady told me to bring you something to drink." He handed Gaara the pitcher, and Gaara curled his lip up in disgust.

"No cup?" He deadpanned, raising a skeptical brow.

"Oh! Shit, forgot, sorry." Kankuro scowled, unzipping his bag and grabbing a sandwich and a cup. "Hey, look I gotta go."

"Where?" Asked Gaara curiously, ripping a bite from his sandwich.

"None of your business, little man." Kankuro mockingly ruffled his brother's hair and turned to leave.

"Stop it! You _know_ I hate that... So- where you going?" Gaara pressed, smacking his brother's hand away.

"Gaara- you _know _where I'm going!" Snapped Kankuro, turning on heal to leave. "And I'm gonna be late if you don't let me go."

"Again!? I thought Temari said you were a _heart-breaker._" Mocked Gaara back with a smug turned around with a scowl and then sighed.

"People change- and you haven't gotten a massage from this girl." Kankuro rolled his eyes and sighed just thinking about it. "Alright, well I gotta go!"

Gaara sighed and slowly ate his sandwich, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. This was going to take a while.

* * *

Sakura wiped down the counter of the kitchen and then sat down in a chair, fatigue washing over her. She wanted to take a nap more than anything.

And so she did. She laid down on the couch, and put on her favorite show. Her eyes were growing heavier and heavier, and she gladly let herself slip off to sleep.

Gaara would find her later, completely forgetting that he was even mad at her. He would give her a kiss on her forehead, and she would open her eyes and smile. That's was the way things had gotten between them. Angry for only a minute, and then one of them would unknowingly fix the fight somehow.

Sakura draped her arms around Gaara's neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. Gaara smirked, knowing he'd iniated the good feelings fluttering back and forth between them. Sakura had been unpredictable lately- not that he was complaining. He'd never do that, not because he wasn't one to complain- he was when he didn't deserve his mistreatment- but rather because he knew Sakura wouldn't let him touch her.

Gaara sighed softly into his lips, somewhere in the back of his mind wondering if he was depressed. He'd been sighing an awful lot lately. But, then, he'd been missing his real parents and he wondered if that was it. He paused, his lips faltering against Sakura's and she groaned, biting his lip in an attempt to egg him on.

"What _now_, Gaara?" She whined.

"I-I.... never mind. " Gaara moved in to kiss her, now embarrassed to admit that he missed his parents if she was in such a foul mood. His lips met Sakura's resisting fingers and he scowled, silently damning himself to hell.

"Wait-" Sakura softened, and sat up with a sigh. "What?"

"Well... I kind of miss them..." Gaara looked away from her, embarrassed to admit that.

"Miss who?" Asked Sakura, unsure of who he was talking about.

"Mom and Dad. I want to see them, but, I don't want to have to actually talk to them." Gaara looked down at his fingers, and pretended to clean under his already imaculate nails while he waited for her response.

"Well, Gaara, that's what pictures are for." Smiled Sakura. The smiled slope doff to one side, and then disappeared. She leaned against Gaara and closed her eyes, inhaling his scent and wondering what on Earth she was going to do about having this baby.

"Gaara?" She whispered softly.

"Mmm?" He asked drowsily, leaning his head back against the couch.

"What do you think about kids?" Sakura asked traced the pattern of his jeans and sighed softly, hoping he wouldn't notice it.

"Well... they're okay, I guess." Shrugged Gaara, his voice drowsy. "Why?"

"Well... Do you ever think about having kids?" She asked, holding her breath as she waited for his response.

"Yeah, sure. But I don't know if they're for me... I just don't really see my self being a dad." Explained Gaara. He was starting to get a little uncomfortable just thinking about it. He didn't want to make all the mistakes his father had, and he just didn't know if he would _ever _be a good father.

"Why not?"

"I just... I don't know if I'd be a good father, you know? I mean, what if I screw up? What if I get mad and hit the kid? What then? I just- I wouldn't be a good father."

"Why not?" Growled Sakura. "You'd be a great father! And besides, the majority of parents spank their kids when they're bad. Mine did, and that was the only reason I understood you and wasn't necessarily terrified of you. "

"Oh, right. You were scared and you know it." Gaara rolled his eyes and snickered. "You should've seen your face. I remember, I mean, it was all fuzzy because of the medicine, but I can see the expression. Hilarious."

Sakura scowled and batted at his leg, and then sighed. "I'm serious though, Gaara. I think you'd make a great father."

"Thanks, Sakura. " He sighed, resting his hand on her hair, and then sighed again. He closed his eyes again, and let himself slip off to sleep.

Sakura slept happily for the first time in a week or so, glad that she had finally started to bring him around to the fact that he would make a good father, that way when he found out she _was _pregnant he wouldn't flip smiled into his thigh and started to dream of the family they would have was a happy dream that she thought nothing could obscure, but sometimes the very things you love can be your undoing.

* * *

Kankuro scowled, rubbing her foot as hard as he was mad because he had to rub her foot even though he'd been getting off scotch free on the back rubs before.

"What? My feet are cute, for one, and for two, you owe me." Smirked Kai, leaning back on the floor to enjoy to foot rub. Kankuro scowled and pressed even harder on her foot, and Kai just giggled. "Go ahead, keep doing that. It feels _good_." And it did, actually. She was glad she was wearing jeans, because she was getting goosebumps. She hadn't had a foot rub that good in a long time.

"That doesn't hurt? Are you _kidding _me?" He rose his brows with surprise and pressed all his strength into his thumbs. Kai blissfully shook her head and he scowled audibly.

Kankuro sighed, and then resolved to do a good job so that he would get a good massage in return. She still hadn't thanked him for coming to her rescue, other than the tipsy half-hug in the bar. But, he knew she appreciate it because every once in a while when she was rubbing his back and shoulder, she would turn him to putty.

DING! DING! BRING! BRING! The little alarm went off and Kai sighed sadly. "All right, all right-_all right already!_ Turn _off_! Ro, I can't get it to turn off!" She frustratedly held it out to him, her brows furrowing and her lips setting defiantly.

Kankuro rolled his eyes and pressed a button to turn off the alarm. "How did you do that!?"

"Simple..." Kankuro pointed to a button, and Kai scowled. "Man! I hate you, you know that? I can't even turn off a freaking alarm clock!"

Kankuro shrugged and then smiled. "My turn." He reached back with his hands and began to pull off his shirt.

"Wait a sec- what are you doing?" Kai held out her hands as if to stop him.

"Hey, _you_ took off your sock!" Argued Kankuro.

"Yeah! My _sock._ Shirts and socks are completely different, meat head!" Kankuro shrugged and continued to take off his shirt. Kai rolled her eyes, though secretly she was glad he was taking his shirt off. Who _wouldn't_ be?

She rubbed at his back smoothly, and surely, leaning against him comfortably. His hard back yeiled beneath her hands and she felt a sense of control over him. It made her sort of proud, to be honest.

She turned to watch the TV, laughing out loud at the one of the funny bits and she could feel Kankuro quaking with laughter as well. "Have you seen his other performance, where he's all covered-"

"Yeah! Oh gawd, that was hilarious!" Snickered Kankuro.

Kai let her head drop comfortably and she sighed contently, working on one of Kankuro's shoulders. Kankuro let out a huff of enjoyment and Kai smiled to herself. She was going to win him over, even if the relationship was going to start with her magic fingers, and strong hands.

Kankuro's breathing slowed, and he soon began to sleep, and Kai sighed softly. She traced one of the muscles running down his back with a light finger, and she felt Kankuro visibly shive and goosebumps broke out on his arms. Kai smiled and did it again, this time with all of her fingers painting light, airy streaks of delight down his back. She continued doing this until he couldn't take it anymore, and he rolled over so that she couldn't touch him anymore.

"What are you doing." He asked, his voice almost angry. Kai blushed her embarrassment, and shrugged sheepishly.

"Nothing?" She didn't know how to answer, and ended up asking another question instead.

Kankuro wanted her to keep doing it, but could see she was embarrassed and didn't exactly know how to ask. "Hey, uh, it's your turn again." And with that the tension was smiled victoriously, and he groaned.

"I hate you for this."Growled Kankuro, even though he took her foot in his hands without her wiggling it at him.

"I know... but just think, it's all worth it, isn't it?"

Kankuro grunted in reply, and Kai held a hand to her ear in mock innocence. "I'm sorry, hon, I can't hear you!"

"Yes. There I said it. Now just-... shut up already!" Kai smirked to herself, because she was working her way inside. It was only a matter of time now.

* * *

Gaara stepped under the steamy jets of the shower, and let the water rinse off the layer of muck that he felt he'd accumulated. He wasn't dirty per say, so much as fatigued. He was emotionally drained, and he was trying to cope with his losses and work with his wins, but he was beginning to wonder what it all meant. So he'd gotten out of the prison-like setting he remembered as his life, but now what? What the hell was he supposed to do now that he got out of there?

Sakura was on the bed, reading through a magazine and painting her nails a bright, vibrant green. It was sea-foam hue, and it brought out her eyes.

Gaara rubbed the bar of soap over his shoulders and ran it down his chest, thinking idly about her fingers, and her arms, and then her whole body in general. He loved her body, more than he liked being free. But, in away being with her made him _feel_ free.

Gaara scowled, picking at the grime underneath his fingernails and then he leaned against the wall. He was so damn tired all the time now... He wondered if he was getting sick, or if his medicine had stopped working. He made a mental note to tell Sakura, and then he stood up again. He swayed momentarily, and then righted himself.

He shaved the little bit of stubble that had been growing for the past two days, running a hand over his smooth face. He blinked into the spray of water, letting it run down his face. He finally closed his eyes, simply standing in the way of the streams of water, letting them wash away the worry and pain. He felt about to cry, though he didn't know why. It was all he could do to hold back the tears and man it up.

He was lost, drowning in the pool of self-doubt and insecurity. He was so unsure of what to do, and how to act; Sakura had been hinting at children earlier, and he didn't know if he was ready for that. She clearly wanted it; he had seen the pleading and need in her eyes. Gaara ran a shaky hand through his hair, and scowled. He'd dug this whole for himself, letting himself believe that it would all be as easy as Sakura described it. It wasn't going to be easy- it would be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

He was just going to have to make sure it was what he really wanted. And Sakura was going to have to make sure it was all worth it.

**Author's Note- So I wrote a nice long chapter for you, and I am setting things up still, so don't worry yet. Lol, by the time my chapter of death gets up, you'll prolly have stopped expecting it. :P Sorry for that. **

**I need to do things this way, so bare with me. :) The happy ending will come second though, so prepare the cry and cheer. :D **

**Lauren/MelloKAI **

**Reviews are orgasmic! :D So review please!  
**


	40. Wrestling for Peace

"Oh my fucking gawd! You waited til' now to tell me!?" Shouted Gaara, flinging the box of cigars against the wall and storming off. "Fuck you!" Kankuro looked up from his lit cigar and scowled.

"Don't make me go after him." He moaned into his cigar, only earning a pleading look from Sakura. Sakura, who was three months pregnant, and finally beginning to show. She had to tell Gaara before she got any bigger, and she had waited until Kankuro finally introduced Kai to them, hoping that Gaara wouldn't flip out. But clearly, she was once again- wrong.

Kai shrank down into the couch unsure of what to do. She glanced wildly around the room before setling her gaze upon her hands. "Well... That went well."

"Shut up, Kai, don't make it worse." Snapped Kankuro.

"I wasn't trying to make it worse! I was... I don't know- but don't snap at me like that!" Hissed Kai, embarrassment imbuing her cheeks and neck. Kankuro sighed, murming something about crazy hormonal women and scowled before yanking himself up off the couch.

"I'm going to try to talk to him." He said flatly, before wandering off to find him.

"So... Boy or girl?" Asked Kai tentatively.

"I don't know yet," Admitted Sakura. "But, I'm kind of hoping for a boy. I mean, every Mom wants to have a girl, but... Gaara kind of _needs _a boy, you know? Someone that he can father properly, and take care of. I think he needs to realize he has nothing to fear!"

Kai nodded, and then smiled excitedly. "Do you have idea for the name? You know, like a list of girl's names, and a list of boy's names?"

Sakura nodded, and recited the names for the boys and girls. "I'm leaning towards Kallou for a boy's name. I can already hear his Daddy talking to him, and calling out for him to come inside... I never realized how much I wanted a little baby."

Kai didn't know what to say, so she instead said nothing. She jiggled her leg excitedly as she talked to Sakura and listened to her plans for where the baby's crib and other such accesories would go. Sakura would every so often stop to cup her growing belly with her hands, smiling affectionately at the baby growing within.

Kai couldn't help but to be jealous, even though the whole baby making thing wasn't for her. She was too hotheaded to raise a child, and she knew Kankuro wasn't one to like children. She wondered how Gaara was doing, and if he was okay with the baby, though she was guessing she was guessing he wasn't.

* * *

Gaara swung wildly at his brother who raised his arms defensively to protect his face. "Cut it out, Gaara!"

"No! You bastard- you knew didn't you!?"

"No, Gaara!" Answered Kankuro truthfully, ducking quickly. "Come on man, chill out!"

Gaara scowled and sucker punched Kankuro in the stomach. Kankuro dropped down the ground, sputtering for his breath and clutching his stomach. "Alright you little..." Kankuro trailed off, and launched himself from the ground.

Gaara looked up with surprise when his brother leaped at him, though he simply ducked and rolled to the side to avoid the blow. Kankuro scowled and turned again, this time feinting and then pivoting to glomp Gaara and take him down.

They rolled around, grappling and searching for a good hold of the other in order to pin him down. Gaara was the first to the punch, and he pinned Kankuro on his back, bracing his forearm against his brother's throat and pressing all his weight into it.

"What the hell do you want, Gaara?" Gasped Kankuro, his face slowly staining red.

"Tell me why!" Kankuro's eyes rolled around in his head as he tried to figure out what he meant.

"What? Why _what?!" _Kankuro gasped, his voice straining.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Panted Gaara. Kankuro's hands worked furiously at Gaara's arm, as he tried to think of an answer. His oxygen deprived brain couldn't think of the answer fast enough, apparently. Gaara's fist connected with the side of his head, and Kankuro let out all the air he'd been saving. Spots danced in front of his eyes, as he writhed in pain.

"I don't know!" Panted Kankuro. His eyes crossed for a second, and Gaara eased up to let him breath a little bit. Kankuro grabbed his chance and flung Gaara off of him, and then pinned him down using the same technique.

"Why... Are you flipping... out?!" Panted Kankuro. Gaara tried to wriggle out of his grip and Kankuro growled, flipping him over onto his stomach and pinning him down with a knee, yanking Gaara's right arm back behind his back. "Well?"

"I'm scared, okay?" Grunted Gaara, wriggling like a snake."Get off me!"

"So? All dad's get scared! You should've seen Sakana when he knocked up his wife." Snorted Kankuro. His breathing was still labored and his head felt fuzzy.

"Yeah, but... I don't know how to do this!" Snapped Gaara, wrenching his arm free only to have Kankuro capture the other one. "Get off me fat-ass! You're squishing me!"

"No one does- but I _know_ you, and I _know_ that you'll try at this!" Grunted Kankuro, ignoring Gaara's insult, and instead grabbing his other arm. "Look- stop moving or I'll rip your arms out of their sockets, got it?"

"Hn." Grunted Gaara in reply. "Gerroff me!"

"Huh?"

"_Gerroff me! _Can't.... breathe..." Gaara's face was growing red and splotchy, his brother's weight crushing his lungs.

"Oh..." Kankuro rolled off his brothers back, and pinned him from the side instead. "Ha! I'm a wrestling _beast!_" Snorted Kankuro. "I didn't want to hurt you, but you pissed me off. And you deserve. You don't walk out on someone when they tell you that _you're _the one who got the pregnant. I'm an asshole, but I'm no prick. And I know you're not either, so quit acting like one."

"You're not a prick. You're a _jackass._" Grunted Gaara, making a last effort to break free. Finally he gave up and let Kankuro punch him one last time. Kankuro pulled himself up off the floor and then helped his brother up, extending a battered hand.

"Now- You've got to go apologize." Sighed Kankuro, massaging his eye. "Go on- don't make me drag you."

"I'm going, fat ass."

"Hey man, this is all muscle!" Assured Kankuro. And it was, but Gaara would still call him fat-ass anyone. "I'm not fat..."

* * *

"So... Do you think I'll make a good mom? I mean... Gaara already knows what _not _to do, you know? But... I... I don't know. I'll just hope for the best." Sighed Sakura.

"Oh don't worry so much! You'll both do_ great._ They're pretty tough little creatures. I had a little brother _and_ a little sister. Evil little sons-a-bitches, pardon my language. Hmm... Do you think it can hear me there? Hellllloooo little one! Auntie Kai will be your favorite Auntie! I'll make sure you'll cool, and you get the cutest clothes... Awww. You're going to be so cute!"

Sakura laughed. "You have a short attention span, huh?" Sakura was standing next to Kai, facing the wall as they planned out the type of mural they were going to put in.

"Mhm. So do Kankuro, so that kind of works out fine. Man can't clean to save his life though." Kai snickered and then sighed heavily. "Though, that doesn't really bother me. But, I guess in a way you're lucky. You won't be so busy when you're playing with baby. Just... make sure you don't let your cravings and stuff drive Gaara insane. When you're preggers... well, life is tough."

Sakura scowled, turning to look at Kai skeptically, "How hard can it- AH!" Gaara rose a brow at her frightened expression. She jerked Kai in front of her to hide herself and peeped out from over Kai's shouder. "You still mad?"

"No... Um, can I talk to you?" He eyed Kai skeptically, and she rolled her eyes.

"You know, if you want me to leave, _just ask_ next time, okay?" She smiled ruefully and then walked past him to where Kankuro stood in the door way. "What the hell... Gaara, what did-" Gaara turned around and she saw his identical black eye. "_Oh....._ Okay...." She shook her head exasperatedly. "Men!"

"So, uh, you're not mad?" Asked Sakura once they'd left the room.

"No. But why didn't you just tell me? You _lied _to me!"

"Because I _knew_ this is how you'd react!" Retorted Sakura, glaring as Gaara ran a hand through his red hair. His hand came away, blood sticking to it, and she sighed. "Come here, let me look at that."

As she wiped him up, she told Gaara all about the baby, and the plans, and how she hoped that it was a boy. When she told him the name she'd been thinking of, he softened a little bit. "If it's a girl, _I_ pick the name." She could feel the smile on his cheeks, and she smiled as well.

"Yup."

**Author's Note- So this has resolved itself to an extent, and I can go forward into time. In honor of Kallou, one of my most helpful reviewers, I wil name the baby Kallou. :) SO! It's kind of obvious, huh? :) **

**ANYWAY! READ AND REVIEW! Leave me stuff. :) **

**Lauren/MelloKAI  
**


	41. Nightmares and Nuance

Gaara grunted frightfully in his sleep, and Sakura was jolted awake, surprised that even in the near-end of her pregnancy he yanked her closer to him with one arm to bury his face in her neck. He was apparently have one of his nightmares again- his hand traveled to her belly and he wrapped his arm protectively around her, even though his arm didn't reach all the way around her large abdomen. He sort of just draped himself around her, locking her to him to keep her safe with him in his dreams.

"No, no, no... Not her, please anyone but h-..." Gaara murmured, digging his face into her shoulder. Sakura could feel the sweat of fear on his brow, and she shivered. "No- me instead... me instead..."

Sakura felt a kind of proud feeling that raised a lump in her throat. To know he'd willingly give his life for her own. It was beautiful, poetic... and mortifying. It made her realize how quick life was, and how much it meant. Life had once been an immaterial thing to him, like a string that could be quite easily snipped off, and snuffed out. What did it matter to him? Sakura mattered to him, and it was something he knew in his heart, soul, and brain- whether he admitted it or not.

Sakura pushed her self against him as if to assure him all was well, but Gaara simply tightened his grip. Sakura sighed into the arm he had under her neck, wrapping around her shoulder to hold her close. She fingered the coarse spot on the back of his hand, feeling where the needle had been slipped through the skin so many times. She circled her arm up higher, and felt his shoulder, where the vein was even larger.

She traced over it softly, dropping her hand when he hissed in pain and let out a gasp. "No... No!"

Sakura squashed her feelings of pity and tried to sleep, even though she was extremely worried about him. He'd been having these nightmares ever since he'd found out she was pregnant, and the circle and rings under and around his eyes were worsening again. She tightened her grip on his arm again before kissing it once or twice. She hated to wake him up because it was so hard for him to get back to sleep, but sometimes they just got so bad...

She could feel the muted snuffle, and the beginning of a sob rising in his throat. She winced hoping they would subside, and she squeezed his arm tighter, rubbing it soothingly.

"Gahh!" Burst Gaara, the loud scream of pain echoing throughout the home.

Sakura jolted into alertness, and wriggled around in his arm. "Gaara! Wake up!" Gaara's eyes only seemed to clench tighter shut as a sob ripped from his throat, and he jerked his hands free to grab at his hair and smash his head between his could feel the slight splashes of his tears, and she freaked out. Gaara _never _cried- or at least very rarely.

Sakura frantically beat at his chest, sobbing with worry. "Wake up!" Sakura scrambled over to the edge of her bed and grabbed her water bottle from the night before, and popped the top up to squirt him in the face.

Gaara screamed again, waking up even as the scream tore from his lips. He looked around, tears already spilling over. He stared at her uncertainly, biting back the tears he knew he couldn't stop. "I- I thought-"

Sakura dropped the water bottle, and hugged him feircely, and Gaara lay there limply as she hugged him. It only seemed that minutes later that he was able to stop trembling enough to regain control of his body. His breath came unevenly in spurts, and Sakura rubbed his chest soothingly, rubbing it in concise circles that calmed him.

"I-I-" Gaara sucked in a breath, "They were killing you and I- I couldn't stop them! I let you die. I tried- I tried..."

Sakura kissed his chest, resting her head down lightly and continuing her circles. "I'm fine, Gaara. I'm worried about _you_, though. Are you okay?"

Gaara didn't' answer, and Sakura reached up to give him a kiss on the lips. Gaara didn't kiss back but stared straight ahead, his eyes glazing over as he slipped back into sleep. This was rare- in fact it had never happened before.

She was worried that he would have a nightmare again, but there was really nothing she could do about it. Sakura closed her eyes and rested her head once more on Gaara's chest. Her eyes soon closed, and she wasn't woken again through the night.

However, Gaara was. It seemed everything he closed his eyes, his beloved Sakura-chan and her unborn child were murdered, or killed. He woke up many times, though not nearly as drastically as before. He would wake up in that cold sweat he remembered from when he was a child, and he would be panting like he'd run been running for miles in his sleep.

Kankuro, who was in the process of moving out, had been sleeping soundly downstairs when he heard his brother's loud shout. He'd run up the stairs, intending to see what was wrong, but he'd heard what he had never expected. He'd heard the sound of his brother's screams, and his sobbing. Not particularly something he was apt to walk in on. He crept back down the stairs to his room and Kai sat up in the chair where she'd fallen asleep.

"Is he okay?" Kankuro shook his head 'no' and her face fell.

"Well what's-" Kankuro shook his head almost angrily and Kai quieted. "Oh..."

Kai sighed softly, and Kankuro turned to look at her. She eyed him nervously, her face unsure of what to say. Kankuro half-smiled, the only thing he ever really had to do to calm and reassure her and she exhaled her breath.

The house was soon quiet again after that, even despite Gaara's recurring nightmares. Not to say they weren't as bad, he just wouldn't allow himself to scare Sakura further.

* * *

The next morning at the breakfast table, Kankuro eyed Gaara wearily. Gaara ate his oatmeal slowly, his face dipping lower and lower as he ate. Every so often his face would drop suddenly and then jerk up again. After so long, he faceplanted into his bowl.

Sakura sighed, and lifted his face from the bowl, mopping it off with a wash cloth. Kankuro grunted as he rose from his chair, making his way around the table. He gently slid Gaara's chair back and then lifted his little brother into his arms and carried him upstairs. Kai sighed softly, and Sakura lowered herself into her chair. They'd become good friends in the past months, and were regularly chatting over the breakfast table.

"Is he okay?" Asked Kai uncertainly.

"I don't know. He's been having awful nightmares- I don't know what to do..." Sakura put her face in her hands, and scowled. "I'm worried about him, you know?"

"Yeah... Kankuro ran up there to check on him, but... he was too embarrassed to check on him..." Sakura nodded groggily and then she rose from the table.

"I'm going to the store. You wanna come?"

"Can't. I gotta help Ro pack." Sighed Kai rising as well. She gathered all the bowls and plates and was putting them in the sink when Kankuro waltzed back in.

"Hey! Stop- I'm not finished with that!" Hissed Kankuro, moving faster than she'd seen him in a while. "Mmm....." Kankuro snatched the bacon from the plate and munched contentedly. "Ah.... bacon. My one true love."

At that, Kai slapped the bacon out of his hand and stomped on his foot. "Pack your shit yourself, asshole. Sakura, is that offer still open?"

"Yep," Laughed Sakura, shooting Kankuro her best dirty look.

"What the hell did I do!?" Moaned Kankuro, staring longingly at his bacon.

"Women tend to feel more important than bacon, Kankuro." Chided Sakura. Kai turned around and stuck out her tongue at him, and Kankuro groaned.

"That's not fair! I wouldn't care if you said _you_ loved bacon more than me!"

"That's the _point!_" Snapped Kai. "Idiot..."

"Well, you can have everything." Smiled Sakura.

"Yeah.... well." Kai scowled, and plopped down into Sakura's car with a pout. "I mean, is he really that stupid, or am I over reacting!?"

"Well, a little of both." Sighed Sakura. "Be thankful for what you have though," She smiled sadly," Life's too short for stupid shit, ya know?"

"Yeah... I know." Kai murmured guiltily.

**Author's Note- So I kept the Kai-Kankuro down to a minimum, and I offer you this humble offering of Gaasaku fluff, since you've been in dire need. :) ENJOY! :D **

**Lauren/Mellokai**

**  
P.S.-Sorry it's so short!  
**


	42. Baby is Kallou

"Hey, I got the ultrasound, you guys want to see it?" Asked Sakura excitedly.

"Yeah, I guess." Kankuro and Kai were only visiting, seeing as they'd moved out.

"Ohh! Pop that sucker in! Let's see that baby!" Squealed Kai. Kankuro covered his ears, shooting Gaara a death threat with his eyes.

"Okie dokie. Here..." Sakura popped the tape into the old VCR. "It..." Pressed play," Goes!"

They watched in silence as the rainy image of the baby appeared on the screen. Sakura pointed out the head and everyone ooh'd and awed.

"So, uh, is that like the arm, or something?" Asked Kankuro, his expression confused.

"Where?"Asked Sakura, glancing closer at the screen.

"Right there," Kankuro pointed with a lazy finger, and Sakura pointed at the screen, and when she finally found the right spot Kankuro held up a hand. "Yeah, there."

"That? Uh, no, Kankuro...." Sakura trailed off, her facial expression pained.

"Well then... What is i-" Kankuro's face looked ready to sick for a moment and then he scowled. "Jesus! You mean that's his--...?"

"What?" Asked Gaara uncertainly. "What are you talking about?"

Sakura whispered in his ear what they were talking about and Gaara reddened sheepishly. "Oh.. So that's his... _Oh..._"

"Yeah..." Kai said loftily. "So..._ Awkward! _Heh, heh, ah..." She bit her lip sheepishly and then smiled. "Well.... someone's going to be popular, if you know what I mean!"

Kankuro giggled, and Sakura glared at him, then turned the glare to Kai. "I don't appreciate you calling my son a- a whore!"

"Who said anything about whore?" Sputtered Kai defensively.

Sakura sighed agitatedly and rolled her eyes. "You're lucky you're family, Kai."

Kai smiled happily and then ran off to get her present from the kitchen. "Kankuro? Do you want to give her your present now? Or later?"

"Eh, bring it out now..." Kankuro sighed and stood up, going to get his present anyway.

They came back a few minutes later, both toting big boxes. "I humbly offer to you my gift." Kai joked, bowing low.

"Can I unwrap?" Asked Gaara, the excitement showing through. He'd never really gotten to open his presents before, they were just given to him unwrapped.

"I _guess_." Sakura smiled and pushed the large box over to him that Kankuro had carried out.

Gaara, contrary to Sakura's expectations, carefully pealed off the wrapping paper of the present and then let out a whoop at the gift he'd opened. Or rather, two gifts.

It was a large, plain box marked Gaara's, and he already knew what it contained. Gaara yanked the box open and pulled out the pieces of an old crib that had been his as a baby.

"Temari wanted to get rid of them, but I wouldn't let her... I hid them up in the attic." Kankuro smiled softly, at the gleeful expression on his brother's face, and sighed. "There's more."

Gaara rose a quizzical brow and pushed aside some of the pieces of crib. "Aww, come on. Did you seriously do this?" Gaara picked up the carefully crafted mobile, and his face slackened with emotion. Little wooden puppets, strongly secured by fabric covered wire, depicted each and every one of Gaara's family- except for his surrogate father. Even Kai hung from a little string, her face smiling and happy as it always seemed to be. Gaara's face had a mouth with his crooked smile, and cool eyes. Sakura's face was rosy pink, and her mouth and eyes smiling and happy. Kankuro's face bore a goofy expression, and, next to him Temari smiled softly. Gaara bit back a groan of despair at the thought that he would not be allowed to let Temari see the baby, but he moved on around the mobile. Maria and Russel were linked together in a hug, smiling downward as if to the baby. Benji, Cara, and Ella were linked together as well, though they each had individual strings to ensure that the would not fall and hit the baby. Shikamaru's lazy features were pulled into a smirk, and Sakura smiled sadly. She wondered if Shikamaru ever still thought about Temari.

The quality of the work was exquisite, and better than any of them had ever seen. Gaara looked up at his brother, surprise riddling his every feature, and he he let out a soft huff of contented air as he brushed his fingers over the smooth surface. Sakura smiled at Kankuro who sheepishly looked away. He didn't know how to react in a moment like this. He was used to being rather surly and off-putting, and not the center of such lovely gooshy-ness.

Kai pecked him on the cheek and he reddened even further, embarrassed to be kissed in front of his little brother. Kankuro kissed her back quickly and then grunted a manly grunt, as if to dissuade his brother from thinking him emotional."So,... you like it, huh?"

Gaara nodded enthusiastically, and sighed. "Thanks, Kankuro..." Kankuro nodded and grunted, unsure of what to say. So instead he pushed Kai's gift to them, and stiff-armed Kai from protesting.

"Thanks, Kankuro. How the hell am I supposed to top that?" Moaned Kai. Kankuro shot her a glance, and she immediately shut up. He'd obviously be making up for it later. She could read that much from his pleading expression. "Ugh, fine. Open it, already."

Gaara tried to hurry, for her sake, in the opening of the present. He closed his eyes as he peeled away the paper, unsure of what he wanted to see. He screwed up his face with excitement.

"What is it?" He asked. Sakura yanked the box away from him with an exasperated expression.

"It's a... oh, Kai, you didn't!" The box contained all the bedding necessary for the bed, and there were pictures of the nursery. "When did you...?"

"Last night. Ro helped. " Kai cast a triumphant glance to Kankuro who scowled. "Hence the grouchiness this morning. "

Sakura eyed the colorful mural of animals and trees, and flowers. It was beautiful, and wonderfully colored. The details were intricate and yet Sakura knew that they would be comforting to the baby. She study the pic further, and let out a squeal of excitement.

"Did you put in cabinets?" Asked Sakura, eying the picture more closely. Kai nodded, poking Kankuro in the shoulder.

"Ow, cut it out. " Grunted Kankuro stiffly. He rested his head on the side of the couch, and tried to close his eyes. "When we get home, I'm going to sleep. "

Kai sighed and Sakura laughed. "Wow, I can't believe you two did this. I didn't have a chance to see it- no wonder you didn't the surprise to be ruined, huh? Well... I 'm going to go look at it. Tell me when Tsunade and the others get here."

Sakura got up to go see the nursery and Gaara followed a minute later. Even downstairs Kai and Kankuro could hear Sakura's exclaim of delight. Gaara hugged Sakura from behind, long ago unable to wrap his arms around her from the front. Her belly always got in the way.

Gaara smiled, cupping a hand over her belly, and tapping his fingers to the beat of a song, as if her belly was a giggled and turned her head back to kiss him on the cheek, and Gaara kissed back uncertainly.

He pulled back, sighing heavily. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Sakura turned around, her hands cupping his cheeks as she pulled him to her for the kiss that he'd denied. He pressed his lips firmly together, the weight of this whole baby thing finally weighing down on him, now that the room was almost ready for it. Or him, rather.

* * *

"Hey, you two, they're here!" Called out Kai, her loud voice ringing gleefully up the stairwell.

"Ooh!" Squealed Sakura, making an attempt to thunder down the steps as fast as she could. Gaara grabbed her arm and slowed her down, earning a heavy scowl from her.

"Be careful," hissed Gaara shamelessly.

Sakura looked down hastily, remembering instantly about his vicious nightmares. At least it meant that he cared...

"I'm coming! Hang on a sec!" She announced before pulling Gaara to her side and proceding to walk slowly down the stairs.

"Sakura!" Multiple people screamed, squealed, bellowed, and generally reacted happily.

Bo happily stepped forward first, shyly offering his gift. "It's not the best, but I've been working on it."

Sakura ripped the paper off quickly, taking no heed to be neat, causing Gaara to wince. "Oh, Bo, it's beautiful!" It wasn't the best artwork she'd ever seen, but she smiled nonetheless. The picture was of her and Gaara, smiling with their hands linked together. Not the best, but at least they weren't stick figures. Besides- it was a gift from the heart.

"Kai's been coming to see me and help me." Sakura cast Kai a curious glance and Kai shrugged with a smile.

"Thanks, Bo."

"I'm next!" Burst Naruto, offering up his gift.

"Naruto! Can you please give her mine, too?" Asked Hinata nodded, and grabbed Hinata's gift with a single hand, even though the box was quite big.

"Ok, Naruto." Sakura was about to unwrap it when she stopped. "Gaara, this is pretty wrapping paper, you open it."

Gaara nodded wordlessly, and set to carefully and quickly peeling the wrapping paper off. "Ha! Look!"

Sitting inside the small box was a little fox plushy that, oddly enough, had multiple tails. "Aww, it's so cute, Naruto!" Breathed Sakura.

"You wouldn't believe how hard those thins are to find!" Smiled Naruto.

Hinata's box was then carefully unwrapped by Gaara, seeing as it had the same wrapping paper, and then handed over to Sakura to open.

"Ohh..... I love it!" Breathed Sakura again. It contained an electronic swing to rock the baby to sleep, and stuffed into the box was a handmade seat cover to make it more comfortable for baby. "Give me a hug, Hinata!"

Hinata happily obliged to a hug, and Sakura let out a laugh. "Man, I never thought _I'd _be one to have kids!"

"Sakura, I have a present, but I don't know if you want it." Spoke Tsunade quietly.

"Who's it from?" asked Sakura even though she already knew.

"Sasuke. " At this, Sakura glanced nervously to Gaara who shrugged.

"Okay... give it here." Demanded Sakura. She passed it to Gaara who surprised her by carefully unwrapping it. She had figured that he would rip the paper off as angrily and rudely as he could.

He handed the small box with the note attached to it, but then snatched the note off the top to read it.

_Sakura,_

I know we've had our differences, but I still want to congratulate you. He'll probably be better at this than I ever would've. Hope all is well. 

_Sasuke. _

_P.s., Tell Gaara I said good luck. No sarcasm intended. :)The necklace is for him, not the baby... Consider it a peace offering.  
_

Gaara felt the corner of his mouth creep up, and he thrust the note at Sakura before he smiled further.

"What did he give you?"

"His father's necklace. " Sakura looked up to Gaara, who curiously held up the necklace. He shrugged, then easily unsnapped and redid the latch, trembling a little under the unfamiliar feel of a necklace against his skin. He looked up, startled slightly to see all eyes on him.

"What!?" He asked, surprise lacing his smooth voice.

"Nothing..." the entire room murmured.

"Alright- Ino." Ino and Sai stepped forward, Ino beaming ear to ear.

"Check it out!"Squealed Ino. Sai rolled his eyes, and Ino elbowed him. "Come on already! Rip that wrapping paper off!"

Sakura laughed and ripped the paper off the odd object, and then gasped. It was a small chest, brilliantly inked and painted by Sai. Sakura looked up to Sai, her emerald orbs lit with delight.

"Okay!" Shouted Tsunade. "Best for last!"

"Alright, Tsunade, bring it on," Laughed laughed, and then produced an enormous back.

"I hate wrapping presents. Sue me." Spoke Tsunade, and Sakura rolled her eyes before opening the bag.

The contents are as follows: one baby grooming kit, a complete set of five parenting books, a first aid kit, three romance novels, a Baby's First ____ Book, a disposable camera, a few sets of nighties and day clothes.

"Wow, Tsunade... you didn't have to do that!" Murmured Sakura, standing up to give Tsunade a hug.

"Yes I did, Sakura. You're like a daughter to me. It's what mothers do."

"I guess it is, huh?" Smiled Sakura, hugging Tsunade tighter. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," she whispered.

"Like-wise, Sakura." Tsunade truly and honestly didn't know what she'd do if she lost either of them. They'd become her life, for Pete's Sake.

* * *

"_You_ did this to me, you _bastard!_" Screamed Sakura, backhanding Gaara in the chest. Gaara repressed the wince, and stood back as the doctor. Sakura had already requested the female doctor, knowing before hand that Gaara would've been mad at her for letting another man _down there._

Gaara groaned as Sakura let out another moan of pain, and he covered his ears. He could hear her quick breathing still, and see her making such scary faces that he closed his eyes.

He was praying to god for it to be over, not because he was scared for her, but because he couldn't take getting hit anymore. Not to mention that the screaming was driving him insane.

Sakura let out a frustrated sob when the doctor told her she'd almost had it. She was so close!

"Come on, one more push!" Urged the doctor, "Breathe, breathe, now _push!_" Sakura's face contorted as she pushed harder than before, and then Gaara saw it. It was the ugliest, most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

And what was the first thing he did? He threw up, or course.

Sakura ignored the horrid retching sounds, and accepted the baby that had been quickly cleaned off. She cooed and smiled to her baby, and then laughed upon seeing the wisps of its hair.

"Gaara? We're going to have to die his hair when he gets older. He's going to get teased!"Giggled Sakura. She'd never hurt more in her life, but this was the happiest she'd ever been.

"What?! Why- what's wrong with him?" Gaara frantically wiped at his mouth, and pushed past all the leaving doctors to make it to Sakura. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine- look at his hair though!" Laughed Sakura. In deed his hair was quite a sigh. It was wispy and fluffy, with dark red roots. At the very ends of his hair, it was a dark pink. Gaara groaned, and then scowled.

"I had to have a baby with the only woman I know that has pink hair..." Sakura swatted him, smiling at one of his only jokes.

"So... You picked his name, right?" Asked Gaara. It had been agreed that if it was a girl, he would pick the name- but if it was a boy, Sakura would pick the name.

"Kallou. "Smiled Sakura. "His name is Kallou."

**A/N- So, here it is! :D REVIEW BECAUSE THEY HAVE A BABY! :D **

**The end is soon.... ;P BUT i am probably going to start a new Gaasaku fic after this, so don't worry.:D **

**Lauren/MelloKAI  
**


	43. Into the Water

"Alright, alright already." Gaara groaned, leaning away from Sakura's kneading touch. "I'm _going,_ Sakura."

It was the fifth time that night that little Kallou had woken up, and it seemed to Gaara that the only thing he wanted more than sleep was to smother the little brat. It was wrong, but every parent feels that way at some time or another.

"Little man, why don't you ever sleep?" Growled Gaara as he picked up Kallou. Kallou gurgled happily in his throat, and whispered in his daddy's ear.

"Wuv you, Daddy!" Kallou said that as if it was the most obvious thin in the world. "Me _miss_ you."

"I'm always with you, you know that!" Murmured Gaara as he walked around with Kallou, bouncing him gently.

"Nuh-uh!" Whispered Kallou. "You gone!"

"Huh?" Gaara pressed his cheek reassuringly against his son's hair, the warm wispy feel of it comforting.

"You no spinny." Grunted Kallou, pounding slender little fists against his fathers. "No spinny with moo-sic."

"Oh..." Gaara walked over to the mobile, and pressed the button on the side. It was amazing that Kankuro had even wired it for him. "Where's my arm?" The arm that held up Gaara's doll was gone. The mobile itself connected to the ceiling, and not the edge of the crib. It was too big for that.

"Oh, honey that one fell off this morning, remember? Uncle Kankuro still has to fix it." Kallou let out a low 'oh...' and Gaara sighed. "Do you want me to sleep in here tonight?"

Kallou nodded groggily into Gaara's chest, making soft snuffling sounds as he did so. Gaara gently set Kallou in the crib and then plopped down in the comfortable chair that Kankuro and Kai had bought Sakura when they saw it. Apparently, it was the same kind as there was in the place where they went to see their psychologists, and it was very comfortable. There had been a set of two, so now they both had one.

Gaara himself had never sat in the chair, though now he found it was quite comfortable. He lay back in it, closing his eyes and letting himself drift off. It was nice to be able to sleep when he wanted to. And besides, tomorrow was a big day. Tomorrow was Kallou's first birthday, and they were going to have a picnic- party at a nature park about a half hour down the road. Gaara didn't want to go, because it was supposed to rain, but Sakura had argued that a little rain never hurt anyone, but Gaara still had a weird feeling about it.

* * *

"Come on, come on, come on!" Ordered Sakura. "We're going to be late!"

"We're coming! I have to tie his shoes!" Snapped Gaara. He was still pissed off that Sakura wouldn't even think about what _he_ wanted and needed anymore. He felt like the neglected child lately.

She'd been more worried about Kallou, and always denied his attempts at intimacy claiming she was too tired and not in the mood. That pissed him off to no end because he was the one who cleaned the house when she was too tired, and he was the one who woke up in the night to take care of Kallou.

Gaara quickly yanked the ties into an 'x', made loops, and knotted and double knotted each shoe. He jogged out the car, baby Kallou clinging to his daddy's warm hold. Gaara carefully set Kallou down and strapped him in, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He was ready to pull away when he remembered the fox that Naruto had given Kallou. Kallou never slept, ate, bathed, or went _anywhere_ without it in his hand.

Gaara scowled before wrenching it off the floor and hastily wiping it off. "Here." Kallou giggled and Gaara quickly pulled away and hopped into the passenger's seat.

Sakura shot him a worried look, startled to see his mood change so quickly. "Are you alright?"

"Oh_ I'm _fine." Snapped Gaara. He shot her a withering look and Sakura's brows drew together. Gaara growled deep in his throat, twisting away from her gaze. He glared out the window sullenly, his body beginning to tremble. Whether it was from anger or fear he didn't know.

His eyes started to slip down as they rolled over the hills and valleys, the soft pater of rain soothing on his nerves. He let himself sleep, knowing that he could avoid awkward conversation with Sakura if he was pretending to sleep. God knows he didn't get enough of it as it was.

It seemed he had just fallen asleep when he began to have the nightmares again. Over and over, they were all dying again and again. Gaara's shoulders had hunched over as he trembled, and Sakura's reassuring hand met his shoulder, as if to bring him back from that nightmare. Gaara's face contorted as the nightmare worsened, and he whipped his head back and then forth, smacking it loudly off the window.

Baby Kallou had fallen asleep a while ago, and was blissfully unaware of his father's panic.

* * *

_'Rain, rain, go away.... come again another day.' Gaara remembered singing that with his brother and sister when he was little... But he was older now! He could still hear their voices...Why? How was that possible?_

_Where were they going? He could see landscape rushing by, the colors blurring nauseatingly together. Gaara looked down, noting the seat belt strapped around his waist. Chimes rung out in the background and low baritone tones. '_What the hell...?'

_Gaara tried to unclasp the seat belt, but it was stuck. Upon further inspection he could see that the mechanism was rusted completely, and his heart raced at the thought of being glanced around him, and he saw Sakura leaning against the window as she drove, her hair obscuring the vision of her face. _

_"Sakura..." Gaara whispered. He didn't know why he whispered, but he felt it was the right thing to do in a situation like this. _

_Sakura's hair fluttered as she turned to look at him, and Gaara bit back a scream. Sakura's face was nothing but bone, all the flesh had been ripped away. He looked to her hand, and yelped as he saw that it had lost it's flesh as well. He could've sworn it had been fine a second ago! _

_Her emerald green eyes shined with sickening contrast to her dull bones, and he held back a disgusted breath."What's wrong? Don't you _love_ me anymore?" Her grating voice mocked. _

_Kallou giggled from the backseat, and Gaara whirled around, despair hanging on his lips. His baby as well was skeletal, his blazing hair setting off the dull tones of his dark bones. Gaara held back the gag with a hand, then looked out the window, praying that they weren't really what they seemed. When he looked back the skeletal forms were gone, and Sakura and Kallou looked at him quizically. _

_"You 'kay, Daddy?" asked Kallou softly. Gaara nodded shakily, and leaned back into his seat, his facial features twisting. Suddenly, he felt his stomach drop out from under him. His eyes snapped open as Sakura screamed and Kallou shreiked in fear. _

_Gaara looked out the window, his stomach convulsing as the river below rushed up to meet them. He could even feel the impact of his head smacking against the window. _Thwock!

_Gaara's breathing escalated, the freezing water drenching him. They were dying! _

"Gaara! Stop it, Gaara!" _Where the hell was that voice coming from? Gaara looked around frantically, his entire body shuddering. _"Gaara! You're... nightmare... wake... please!"

_Gaara groaned frightfully, trying to wrench his eyes open. He was sick with the effort, but nothing worth earning was ever easy, was it?_

* * *

Sakura groaned with relief as Gaara's eyes finally opened, and he looked around frantically. She winced slightly in wonder as he reached out to pole her cheek. She rose a brow, but Gaara ignored her, and grabbed one of her hands, probing to make sure she was still soft and smooth-skinned. She could feel Gaara's sigh of relief from the other side of the car, and she felt her stomach wobble, wondering just exactly what he'd been dreaming about.

Gaara suddenly twisted around in his seat, and prodded Kallou's chubby flesh, his shaky exhale worrying Sakura.

"What the hell were you dreaming about?" She pressed worriedly.

Gaara shook his head with a grimace, and leaned forward to rest his arms and head down on the dashboard. This was going to be a long day.

"Gaara?" Asked Sakura softly.

Gaara looked up groggily, and Sakura smiled softly. "I know I've been worrying about Kallou a lot lately, but... Well, I'm sorry, okay?" She smiled gently as they pulled into the park, and Gaara nodded, not fully forgiving her, at least not yet.

Gaara pulled himself out of the car, and let the rain wake him up. Sakura pulled Kallou out of the car, and even grabbed the diaper-bag, something Gaara usually had to do.

Gaara waved boredly to his brother who waved back more enthusiastically. Kankuro was waiting for some cake.

Sakura stepped up close to Gaara, beckoning him closer. "Hey, Gaara?" She asked smoothly.

"Mmm?" Replied Gaara, the rain pricking his cheek.

"I know I've been... well, distant. So, I was thinking, maybe tonight..." Sakura's voice turned to a whisper so Kallou wouldn't hear, and suddenly Gaara's face brightened. He smiled like a loon, his face lighting up like a match.

Sakura started off for the area that had been decked out with party stuff, and set Kallou down. Gaara ran over to Kankuro, beaming from ear to ear.

"What's up?" asked Kankuro wearily, unaccustomed to such open displays of happiness from his brother.

"I'm getting laid tonight!" Gaara smiled triumphantly, and Kankuro held up a hand for a high-five. Gaara happily high-fived back, and Sakura shot him a dirty look. Gaara reddened slightly, not because he was embarrassed but only because he was worried he wouldn't get any action later.

"Alright! Let's get this party started!" Whooped Tsunade energetically. "Gaara, your present first!"

"Huh? But it's-" Gaara stopped as Marie and Russel stepped out from behind Tsunade. Gaara dropped the present he'd been holding, and darted over to glomp them with hugs. Kankuro made a wild grab for the present, and ended up falling on the floor to catch it.

Kai giggled and helped him up, earning a hurt glare from Kankuro. Kai reached up on tip-toe to kiss his lips, earning one in turn. Gaara turned upon hearing his mother's questioning of who Kai was. As Gaara explained, he realized that he'd never noticed how short she was in comparison to Kankuro. Kai was only a little over five foot two, and Kankuro was the better half of five foot seven.

Gaara sighed, turning to face Sakura. Sakura and Kai were about the same height, but he was only two inches taller than turned back to his mother, suddenly wondering if she'd heard him talking about getting laid. His face reddened, and he looked away from her.

Marie continued to talk, and Gaara and Russel listened as well as they could, but she just didn't stop! Russel intervened after so long, and led Gaara off for what was supposed to be a man to man conversation. Mostly they just stared out into the water of the lake, sipping beers and sighing contentedly.

After a while of this, Kankuro jogged over to join them, angry because Kai kept slapping his hands away when he tried to steal it got too quiet, Kankuro would burp loudly and the others would try to outdo him. Childish? Of course! Awkward? No way.

"You guys! Quit belching and get over here!"Called out Marie.

Russel grunted as Gaara helped him up, and Kankuro glared at them jealously. His own father had never been particularly close with him, even though he hadn't been as mean to him as he was to Gaara. Kankuro shied from his brother, and skipped around the side of the little pavilion, wondering if it would've been different if _he_ was the one who was adopted. Kankuro ripped the thought away, praying for some chance of forgiveness. It was awful to think things like that- _he_ had gotten off lucky.

Gaara watched happily as his son tore open his presents, a smile perking his lips at the corners. A sudden camera flash roused him from his content, relaxed posture, and he jumped up, his arms covering his face. Gaara sheepishly sat down, realizing that no, he was not under attack, but rather being photographed.

He watched silently as Kallou tore apart wrapping paper and relished his new presents. He sighed, pulling his les up under him as he watched, his cheeks growing slack with fatigue. It was time for cake, but Kallou wandered over to his daddy, tottering and wobbling as he did in his young age. He seemed to have gotten his mother's clumsiness, something Gaara deeply resented.

Gaara leaned against the table, his chair feeling comfier by the second. Kallou patted his father's leg, and Gaara smiled, pulling him into his were only halfway done with the party, but Gaara was drained. Kallou nestled his head softly against his father's hard chest, and let himself drift off to sleep. Gaara soon followed, but this time the nightmares didn't come.

Multiple cameras flashed and caught this moment, and Sakura smiled to herself. This would be the perfect chance to get him back for telling Kankuro of her plans. She carefully pulled one of the thicker flowers from the cake, and settled it gently in one of Gaara's hands. His lips twitched and he made a strange face, and Sakura stepped back worriedly. Marie,Naruto and Kankuro were taping the whole affair, and Sakura snickered gleefully.

She gently tickled his nose, waiting for him to mash the icing into his nose. Sakura tickled him more forcefully when he didn't move, and then squeled with surprise when Gaara wiped the icing on her face.

"I'm not _that_ heavy of a sleeper," chortled Gaara, opening his eyes with a gleeful smirk. "Gotcha!"

Sakura grunted in reply, rabbing a napkin to wipe the icing off her cheeks. Tsunade snickered, her hair falling into her eyes.

"Can we _please_ have cake now?" Groaned Kankuro. "I've been waiting for_ forever!_"

Kallou looked up groggily at the sound of laughter and the pleading of his uncle's voice. "Caaaaake?" Kallou's face lit up and he pounded on the chair. "Cake!"

Kankuro whooped and helped himself to a ginormous piece, and Kai rolled her eyes. "Cake anyone?"

* * *

Gaara sighed, pushing his plate away from him. He was so full of cake it wasn't even funny. He felt so full he was afraid that if sneezed he'd snort out icing.

"How much time do we have left?" He asked groggily. "It's getting dark."

"The sun hasn't even set yet! But," Sakura shrugged, "Whenever you want to go."

"I want to go now. Before it gets dark."

Gaara signaled everyone to start cleaning up, which set Naruto into a cleaning frenzy. Naruto whirled around grabbing garbage and throwing it into a garbage bag.

Hinata put herself in charge of packing things up, and Gaara buckled Kallou into his car seat. Sakura kissed him on the cheek, and asked him to go get the presents and put them in the trunk. Gaara begrudgingly packed them away, glad when Kankuro came over to help him.

"Thanks, _Ro._" Smiled Gaara, mocking the nickname that Kai had given him.

"Shut up." Snapped Kankuro, punching Gaara in the shoulder. "_You_ can't call me that!"

"Hn." Gaara elbowed his brother in the ribs, and Kankuro twisted one of Gaara's arms behind his back.

"Give." Kankuro always said that when he wanted Gaara to give in, but Gaara never did. He'd rather have his arm popped out of it socket than be bested by his brother.

Marie smacked the both on the back of the head and told them to cut it out. Kankuro reddened sheepishly, and Gaara scowled giving his brother a final elbow to the ribs.

"Is that everything?" Asked Sakura, surveying the scene.

''Yup." Chirped Kai, squeezing between Kankuro and Gaara to cram the last gift into the trunk. The rain had started to pour, but Kai didn't mind. She liked to run around in the rain, something that Kankuro would never fully understand.

"Alright. Hugs and kisses, everyone!" Announced Tsunade. Kankuro growled, pulling the camera out of his pocket. He recorded everyone saying goodbye, and had Kai hold the camera while he gave everyone quick hugs.

He then took the camera back and zoomed in and out on baby Kallou's face. When Kai wasn't looking he aimed the camera at her chest, at least of course until she slapped him.

"Pig..." Growled Kai. And with that everyone piled into their cars and drove towards home. Gaara and Sakura would lead the way back to their house.

* * *

Gaara was turned around tickling Kallou, and Sakura would smiled every time Kallou laughed. Kallou took a drink from his sippy cup, and Gaara stopped tickling him to let him swallow.

Gaara's hands were back to torture his son's belly as soon as the drink was swallowed, and Kallou laughed, waving his arms gleefully. He got mad when Gaara stopped and flung the cup at him angrily smacking him square in the eye with the handle.

Gaara grunted painfully, and cupped his hand to his eye. Sakura glanced over to him as they went around a bend and asked if he was ok. Gaara shook his head no, and showed her his eye. The fragile lower lid had torn and blood was spewing blood. Gaara pulled his t-shirt up to his eye to try to stop the bleeding and Sakura grimaced.

"Bad boy, Kallou! Shame on you!" Sakura looked up into the mirror to see Kallou's reaction to her firm words. Gaara shouted something incoherent and Sakura looked to the round. They were approaching a corner, but they were going much to fast to turn. Sakura was going to have to slow down first.

Sakura slammed her foot down on the break, but the cup had somehow been wedged between the floor and pedal. Sakura bit her lips as she tried to turn the car into the side of the hill to keep from going over. The car hydroplaned, and slid across the sheet of the water layering the road, and slid toward the cliff. Sakura and Kallou screamed as the car went over the edge.

Gaara could hear the waves of water crashing against the rocks, and he wondered if this was what it was like to die. Peaceful?

Gaara closed his eyes as the car hit the water, and he grunted as his face smacked off the ceiling. He could hear the water closing in around them as he tried to frantically open his door, but it wouldn't budge. Sakura was yelling, and screaming for help, but there didn't seem to be any.

Gaara could dimly hear the sound of cars screeching to a halt above him, and he heard the slams of car doors. Why did it have to be this way? Why such an awful end to such a damaged life? He couldn't even die peacefully!

* * *

Above him on the road, Kankuro had slammed his car to a halt and had jumped out of the car. "Gaara!"

Kankuro ran to the edge, his face contorted painfully when he saw the car in the water. "Oh my god.... Gaara!" Kankuro started to let himself slide down the hill, the mud coming with him as he went. Kai held back the tears as best as she could, and followed Kankuro down the hill.

Tsunade was already calling 9-1-1, sobs screwing up her voice. Ino was in hysterics, and Marie and Russel were stareing down the cliff wordlessly. Naruto stood beside them, his eyes glazing over with disbelief.

"No... No they're not dead." He smiled, and walked back to the car. "That's somebody else... not them... "

Hinata started down the steep hill of the cliff, her tears silently slipping over and falling down her cheeks. This couldn't be happening.

Kankuro had reached the bottom of the hill by now, and had dived into the water and was swimming to the car. He could see that the car was filling up with water, and he forced himself to swim faster. Kallou was screaming in the backseat, and Kankuro grimaced through his tears as he tried to decide who to save first. Gaara or his nephew?

Kankuro yanked on Gaara's door, a sob breaking free when it wouldn't open. Kankuro frustratedly resorted to punching at the window, the freezing cold water seeming to sap him of all his strength. Kankuro pounded on that window again and again, the skin on his fingers and knuckles ripping off with the effort.

He could hear Kai's voice yelling to him, telling him to be careful, but he ignored her. Kankuro couldn't bite back the pained roar that erupted from his throat as he tried to break the window, and Gaara smiled softly to him, pressing his hand to the window. "Come on!"

Kankuro froze, his blood running cold in his veins. "It's okay..." Mouthed Gaara. Sakura nodded, a dull look glazing over her features. Kallou was gone, his little body devoid of air and life. Kankuro looked at the soft little face he was accustomed to seeing laughing and happy, and his heart sank. It was done. He was too late.

Kankuro, now crying freely, pressed his hand to the window, his large hand dwarfing Gaara's. Kankuro pressed his head against the window, not moving from it as the car sank even lower into the water.

He was underwater with them now, and their hair was swaying around their faces in slow halos. Kankuro held on to the car as it slipped deeper into the water, his needs of air forgotten. Gaara's eyes were growing fuzzy as he struggled to stay alive. His lungs were filling and he was choking- choking in the last attempt he had to get air. Sakura's body went limp as she leaned against the steering wheel, her eyes shut and unmoving.

Sakura's eyes were so heavy... she couldn't keep on. The burning in the back of her throat was more painful than ever, and she couldn't hold her breath any longer. Her head was fuzzy, and everything was growing lighter and brighter as bright spots of light burst in front of her eyes.

Kankuro bit back his cry of anger, knowing his needed his breath to see his brother through. If he went up to the surface for air he might not make it back in time. It seemed to be taking a breathless eternity for Gaara's eyes to close, but Kankuro would have spent forever with his brother down there if it meant that they could live. Gaara's hand was still pressed against the window, and as his hand began to slide down the slick surface Kankuro pressed his hand even closer as if there was some crazy chance that he could get closer.

Gaara let himself go, knowing his brother couldn't hold on much longer. The cold feel of the water was fading, slow at first and then quicker and quicker. He was growing warm and dry,and he could hear Sakura and Kallou calling for him. He took one last glimpse of his brother's pleading face, and let out the breath he'd been holding. His lungs no longer burned with the unease of not being able to breath, and he was light and free for the first time in his life. In dying, he'd been set free.

"Gaara!" Kankuro pressed himself against the window, not caring if he drowned as well. He sure as hell didn't want to live. "Gaara..." Kankuro's vision was blacking, and he rejoiced with the feel of it slipping away. He thrashed when two strong pairs of hands grasped his shoulders, and began to draw him away.

"No! I have to go back!" He cried out breathlessly as he was yanked to the surface. "They need me!" He immediately began to sputter and cough as air reentered his lungs

Russel smoothed Kankuro's wet hair, and wrapped his arm around Kankuro's torso as well. Kai tugged weakly on Kankuro's thrashing arm, as she tried to help pull him ashore. She was still crying and sobbing, even in the water. Kankuro's eyes fogged over as he thought of little Kallou sitting in his carseat, his soft red hair billowing around his face with the current of the water. Kankuro gave a gut-wrenching shout of despair and struggled even harder against his saviors.

Kankuro's body trembled with cold, and yet he felt as though he were on fire. His body thrashed and jerked as he struggled to get away, but one picture remained in his mind, something that he feared would never leave- the sight of their dead bodies sitting in that damned car, their hair billowing withe current, buffeting their lifeless faces. Some would say that dead people looked as though they were sleeping, but he knew better. They weren't sleeping. They looked as dead and cold as they were.

Tsunade stood atop the hill, tears streaming freely down her face as she watched Kankuro fighting and struggling to break free. It wasn't fair. Why did everyone good in her life have to die!? Tsunade crumpled to the ground, her tears creating hot, overlapping tracks, only to be washed away by the rain.

Naruto had gotten out of the car again, his eyes soft and disbelieving. The moment of blissful denial was gone, and he'd thrown himself to the ground. Ino sat there beside him, Sai cradling her as she sobbed. Ino's words were incoherent and hysterical, making no sense as she babbled uselessly.

"My baby boy!" Shrieked Marie, her high-pitched voice rising above the rain and sobs of everyone else.

Russel, Kankuro and Kai were now stuck at the bottom of the cliff, their shoes unable to gain purchase on the slick, dripping mud. Russel pulled Kai and Kankuro down onto the ground where they huddled together, Kankuro's body shaking painfully. "I tried..." He moaned hoarsely, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry!"

Kai rested her head on Kankuro's shivering body, and he tensed for a moment before relaxing slightly. The tears still fell, the little splashes warm on his drenched skin. Kankuro's body gave out to the cold and he slipped under, unconscious. Kai bit her lip and shook him gently, fresh sobs breaking loose as she feared the worst.

Russel patted her head softly, whispering that he was too cold and they needed to keep him warm. Kai nodded, and hugged Kankuro to her, her arms wrapping around his chest. Russel had lost one son, and he wasn't going to lost this one- even if he wasn't an official son.

**Author's Note- So I killed them. I actually cried myself as I wrote this- please review. I need input. Good or bad? Other than the obvious. Did you feel anything? Let me know! **

**Here- have a virtual tissue. I know I needed one. :P **

**Lauren/Mellokai. **

**I'm sorry! Dont' hate me- there WILL be a happy ending! :D  
**


	44. Barely Out of the Water

The rescue team dived down below the water, their light having already been set up. Kankuro was still unconscious, causing Russel to take off his own jacket to wrap Kankuro's torso in it. Kankuro was shivering so violently he looked to be convulsing. The ambulance had yet to get there, but Russel didn't want it to get there yet. He wanted his son to be pulled up first.

Russel was past crying now, his bother devoid of any tears that were to come. His dry eyes ached with the unshed tears, and he would every so often turn his face up to the rain letting the raindrops rehydrate his eyes.

Russel had been waiting for them to bring the bodies to the surface, but when they finally did, he couldn't bear to watch. Kai couldn't help but watch. The bodies were oddly pale, and their skin was dripping with brown water and blood that was seeping out. Kai let out a sob when she saw little Kallou brought up to the surface, and carelessly handed over before the diver went back down.

Russel pulled her close, wrapping an arm all the way around her to Kankuro as well. Kankuro still cried out intermittently, and his breath would hitch unhealthily in his airway.

Tsunade was being comforted by Hinata,of all people. Hinata had hugged Tsunade and was patting her back as Naruto lay in the middle of the road, staring up into the rain. His blood ran cold as he begged a car to come by and plow him over. Before that could happen Sai yanked him out of the street. Ino was still sobbing, her overly energetic personality wilting before Sai's eyes. Sai jogged over to his car and pulled out his jacket and wrapped her in it.

Ino looked up at him, her eyes red and swollen to the point her vision was impaired. Marie sobbed in her car, the doors closing her in and isolating her pain. She didn't want help- she wanted the pain. They deserved that much.

It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to get there, and Kai was near hyperventilation by the time it got there. Kankuro shivered violently under the feel of her warmer skin, and he grimaced often, obviously relieving their death over and over. She was allowed to ride with Kankuro, but Russel had to stay with his wife- by choice not necessity. He didn't know if he could bear the thought of leaving her as well.

* * *

The chaos at the hospital was more than Kai could handle. Kankuro was in his hospital room, and people were running around trying to figure out what they needed to do to help him. Kankuro had been fine for most of the night, but then had suddenly crashed.

Kai curled up in a ball in the corner of his room, her clothing still damp and wet. She shivered in the coolness of the air and let her eyes close. Why did this have to be so wrong? Never more than this moment had she wanted a big, fat rewind button.

Kankuro moaned, straining against the people holding him down, his back arching off bed with the effort. Feverish whisperings brushed from his lips, and the doctor's leaned close to listen.

He was covered with more blankets, and they used a heating pad to warm him to proper temperature again. Kankuro arched off the bed again, trying to avoid the needle but he was too tired. He fervently spoke to them, demanding and pleading with them. Their faces darkened as they realized what he'd just lost, and then they spun around to see Kai, whom Kankuro's eyes were glued to. One of the nurses came over and picked her up by the arm and pulled her over to Kankuro. Kankuro held still for the shot, and then they all left.

Kai leaned her head against the bed, her wet locks cold and damp. Kankuro's eyes were growing fuzzier by the second, and he scowled at the thought of being out like a light again. He could fear her cool hands cupping one of his own larger hands, and he blinked didn't mind sleeping so much, now that he thought of it... Maybe he would see Gaara again...

* * *

Kankuro's dream were strange and obscure, and they only made him feel worse. He dreampt of waking up to the feel of Kai's hand wrapped up in his own, and to the feel of Gaara's face pressed to the bed near his feet. Kankuro looked around, the hospital room glowing hazily, his mind struggling to keep up. He could feel the strong ache of bodily pain, but it seemed far off, like the pain one sometimes experiences in dreams. Usually his dreams were so damn vivid, and the pain was obvious and constant. But this was one of the rare dreams that the pain was obviously hindered by something- leaving Kankuro to deduce that he was dreaming.

Kankuro flexed his fingers slightly as a small spasm of pain dragged itself through him, and he let out a low intelligible stream of swear words. Kai shuddered in her sleep, shifting her body and her weight on the side of his mattress. In doing so, he could see the long scraps and gashes on her torso, arms and face. Kankuro grimaced, lifting his hand to finger the scrapes and bruises, momentarily forgetting that he was dreaming.

"So... bruised...." he slurred. The sound of his voice seemed off. It sounded broken and fragmented, and gravelier than it usually did. Of course had a naturally gravely voice, but it was only a slight rumble. But now.... it sounded like he was grinding rocks in his throat.

"Mmm? Go back to sleep... Ro-ro." Murmured Kai, her face snuggling deeper into the mattress and closer to his hand. "Kankuro?" She asked, realization dawning in her voice.

"Hmm?" Drawled Kankuro, his voice painful to articulate with.

"You're awake! Gaara-" Kai vigorously shook Gaara's shoulder, lurching him from his un-peaceful slumber. Gaara's face broke out in a smile. Kankuro, who had noticed the weight, but not his brother felt his heart stutter.

"Gaara?" Rasped Kankuro, his voice peeling unhealthily from his soft lips. "But you're... you're... This isn't right!" Kankuro frantically jerked the cords and wires from his chest, his mind reeling dizzily.

"Kankuro! What's wrong?" Soothed Kai, her eyes darting back and forth across his features. There was a large bruise starting on her cheekbone that wound around ot her forehead. Kankuro didn't say anything, but reached out and touched it. He pushed hard on the bruise, the soft feel of her skin molding beneath his own real and delicate. "Ow! What the hell- Kankuro. Listen to me. What are you talking about?"

"You're not Kai." Rasped Kankuro, yanking the rest of his wires loose. "I know Kai. You're not her. No... not her... not her." Kankuro wobbily rose from the bed, his back screaming out in the process. Kankuro let out a low moan and then hissed as his shoulder seared with a feeling of pain. He glanced back to see that there was a syringe sticking out of it. This was a really strange dream, as far as he was concerned. And besides- who dreamed about being attacked by dead people in a hospital?

Sakura grimaced as his vision began to sway. "Why? I tried.... to help... you're deeeaad." The last word slurred slightly as he nearly toppled over. But Kankuro righted himself, and pushed off from the bed. "You bastards! You're... not them! Why are you doing.... this." Kankuro growled, snapping around as another needle was thrust into his shoulder. "Stop it!"

Kankuro swung out as hard as he could, connecting with someone's flesh, though he couldn't tell who. His body was screaming with pain, and he would've given up already had it not been a dream. Kankuro continued to swing, and only when he opened his eyes did he realize he was swinging at his brother. His dead brother. Who'd he let die.

Kankuro froze, his vision blurring out- he couldn't tell if it was from the tears of grief or the medication kicking in. Kai was trembling and whimpering, Sakura's arms wrapped around her defensively. Gaara's face stared back at him imploringly, his usually cool blue eyes ablaze with passion. Kankuro couldn't stifle his sob as he realized the only time he ever saw those eyes again would be in photos, film, or staring out of that damned coffin that he had yet to be buried in.

Kankuro's legs gave out and he crumpled to the floor, his mind reeling dizzily. Gaara leaned over him, and Kankuro gasped. Gaara's skin was ghostly pale, and his hair was swimming around him in a fiery halo. Kankuro reached out to touch him, but his hand was halted by something. Kankuro didn't bother to see what it was, but instead tried to reach him anyway. He tried with his other arm, successfully reaching Gaara's face. Kankuro's fingers probed his brother's face, memorizing the shape and saying goodbye.

Kankuro frowned deeply, his vision jumping again. Suddenly Gaara's skin began to slide off, dripping onto his fingers and leaving his brother's face raw and bony. He screamed, grabbing his hands back and staring at them. His vision blurred out again, and then went dark.

"Took him long enough. He sure takes more sedative than you, Gaara." Sedative? What the hell were they talking about?

"What did you do to me?" He moaned. "Kill me. Just.... let me.... die..." Kankuro's would went black, the swirling sickness of the color driving him mad.

And then boom. He woke up.

* * *

"Kankuro! You've been asleep for ever, asshole." Grunted Kai, glaring at him. But then her facial expression softened and she reached over to give him a quick kiss."But- do you feel any better?"

"Huh-uh. I feel worse than ever." Moaned Kankuro. He closed his eyes, letting them stay closed for a few seconds. When he opened them he sighed, whining heavily, "I can't even sleep. It's all my fault..." His voice grew hoarse and his eyes clouded over with tears.

"No it's not!" Kai sighed, resting her head on the mattress to hide her tears. "Just... shut up, okay?" Kankuro nodded, his eyes shut. He blinked away his tears and then looked down at her, jumping when he saw that she was covered in bruises.

"What the hell, where did those come from?" He slurred.

"You don't remember?" Hissed Kai angrily. "Then I'm not telling you."

"I'm sorry! Tell me, please!" Kankuro turned away from her when she didn't answer him, and then he scowled. Leave it to her not understand him when he needed her to the most.

Kankuro's head flopped back against the pillow, the defeat clear in his tone. Kai still only grunted in reply, flipping open her book to read. Kankuro stared at the ceiling tiles, idly counting the little colored speckles on the tiles. There were so many... he wondered absently if this is what Gaara had felt like, cooped up in that place.

His heart seized for a second, and then he pushed the thought from his mind. Not the right time to think about that. Kankuro sighed, turning his gaze over to Kai who looked up at him boredly. Kankuro jumped, the marks all over her body having reappeared. He winced at the withering look she gave him and smiled sheepishly. Kai's expression softened, but she still didn't say anything. Kankuro scowled.

* * *

Kankuro didn't even remember falling asleep, but when he 'woke up' he knew he was still asleep, because Kai was covered in bruises and cuts once again. He could see the blobby forms of two people who slept peacefully in the comfortable hospital chairs, their jaws slack with raw fatigue.

Kankuro carefully flicked his monitors off, unattatching his cords and wires, wincing as they ripped the soft downy hairs that weren't even visible off of his chest.

Kankuro slipped past, wondering if this idea was good, even though he was asleep. Death was a finicky thing...it didn't care who it took and who it left as long as it took someone. Kankuro sighed, waiting for the elevator doors to open up. He absently scratched at his hand, not bothering to look down. It itched something terrible, and his skin was rough and scaly.

'_God. When I wake up and get out of here, I bet Kai is going to be lathering me up with lotion all the time. I'm going to smell like a fucking _girl._ Gaara always smelled like Sakura.... Well then what's so wrong with that?' _

Kankuro stepped into the elevator, pressing himself into the wall and away from the weirdo who was pacing in circles. "Uhm, what floor?" He asked uncertainly.

"Top floor. Top, yes the top will be fine- tippety top!" rambled the young man, probably the same age as Gaara, well at least how old Gaara would be. Kankuro rose a brow, his gaze holding a significance that only someone with the same plan would understand. The young man smiled and nodded, and Kankuro's breath hitched."Excited. Exuberant. Finally ending it!" Splurged the strange man, and Kankuro took a step back. Where the hell was he at? This wasn't a normal hospital, was it? "No more pain. Problems. Life. Floating away! Drifting... soaring... goodbye..."

Kankuro pressed the button, the elevator door having shut a long time ago. He grimaced as suddenly a pain in his arm spasm a few times, and he rubbed at it absently. He mashed himself into the wall as far as he could go, trying to rid himself of the obnoxious entity that was startling him. The strange eyes, monstrously thick eyebrows... and what the hell was up with that haircut? Kankuro grimaced as the guy latched onto his sleeve, pouring out his emotions.

"It'll be beautiful! Pay attention when you go down! It's like flying!" Kankuro's heart was racing, and he let out a low breath as his vision wobbled.

"I don't feel so good..." He muttered.

"Eh. That's just pre-jump jitters." Laughed bushy-brows. "But, uh... you don't look so hot."

"Me? Look at your and your weird-ass get-up. And you wonder why your offing yourself!" Snapped Kankuro pushing the guy away from him. The bushy-browed man slapped Kankuro's hand away easily, and then laughed.

"Me? Have you _looked_ in the mirror?" He retorted.

Kankuro looked down at himself, noting the hospital gown. He glanced behind himself, noting the draft and checking to make sure his ass wasn't hanging out. He scowled upon seeing the bright, neon green of his boxers, and then growled when he saw the little smilies all over them. "Goddamn it. I look like a freaking gay." Kankuro growled, snatching his hospital gown and pulling it tighter around himself, damning Kai to hell for ever buying him those.

"I wasn't talking about your clothes." Snapped the dark haired, young man,"And I don't appreciate you insulting me, jerk!" Kankuro eyes widened and he bit his lip.

"Sorry." Kankuro looked down to see what the hell the guy was talking about, and what he saw astonished him. He was covered in cuts and bruises, his left hand wrapped up in a splint, and his arms bearing gashes and scrapes that didn't look good at all. Kankuro stared into the metal of the elevator, and then yelped. His face was covered in bruises, and his head had a nasty gash wrapped up in gauze, though he could see his blood seeping through.

"What the hell..." Kankuro spun away from the reflective metal with a groan. "This doesn't make any sense!"

"Nothing ever does." Laughed the man, and Kankuro growled.

"Shut up!" Kankuro reached out to punch the man, but then stopped, his fingers tingling oddly. His body was aching, a dull somber beat. Kankuro hissed when the ache increased again.

"You look like your in pain. Is your morphine wearing off?"

"Huh? What morphine?"

"You're not a patient, that much is for sure. So you must be Tsunade's kid, the one in the accident."

"No- he died." Kankuro looked down at his bare feet, suddenly noting how cold the floor was. His fists were clenched at his sides as he debated the meaning behind this trip. It was a dream... but still!

"Hmpf. Well that's funny, because-"

"Funny!?" Kankuro had that man pinned to the wall faster than you could blink. "What's so funny about my brother dying!?"

"But I would've heard if he died! Gaara- he's an inspiration to us all! We would've had him buried _here_ if he died, and we _all_ would've said goodbye!"

"What are you talking about?" Demanded Kankuro wearily.

"You're at the Institution. Ohh. You _are_ the car-wreck son! Tsunade brought you here-it was closer." He rasped, Kankuro's arm squishing his trachea.

"I wasn't in a car wreck, moron!" Kankuro backhanded the man in the face, and scowled. "Gaara was! It _should've _been me,but it wasn't!"

"Oh, how convenient! It's your stop!" His hand darted out and brushed on the button of the slow moving elevator, and it slowly came to a halt. The man shoved Kankuro away and Kankuro smacked against the side of the elevator, a sudden burst of pain reverberating throughout his body. He groaned suddenly as his whole body began to ache.

The man shoved Kankuro out onto the floor and Kankuro landed heavily on his chest. "Oww! Oh my god. Fuckk..." Kankuro let out a loud moan as his body started to beg and plead for some sort of an end.

People had started to gather around him, poking him and touching him to see if he was real. "Oh my gosh!" Breathed an intern, staring at the man writhing in pain on the floor. "He's run out of morphine! Call Sakura-sama- _now!" _

Kankuro looked around dazedly, wondering if this was truly a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. He was thinking maybe nightmares, but usually he never experienced pain quite _this_ bad in his dreams. Kai always woke him up when he started thrashing around and moaning.

Kankuro didn't know how long he laid there, his body's pain increasing sickeningly all the while. He could honestly say that this was the worst he'd ever felt, physically and emotionally. He was so unsure of what was going on. Was Gaara dead or wasn't he?!

* * *

Where was he? Soft hands were on his arms, and then the traveled to his chest, wrapping something around him quickly. Kankuro forced his eyes open, and then scowled. He wasn't even sure if he was dreaming anymore.

"Gaara?" Kankuro said hopefully. He could smell the musky, tangy scent he knew was his brother's it was smooth, but spicy. Kankuro, who was a food oriented person, liked to smell things. Not nearly as much as his friend Kiba, but it was still a way he recognized people. And food.

"Kankuro?" Gaara threw the blanket off himself and lurched over to Kankuro's side. "Are you ok? You've had a bad few days. "

"Yeah. But..." Kankuro's voice wobbled. "Aren't you dead?"

Sakura stopped in the doorway, the tray she'd been holding in her hands slipping out of her grip with the surprise of hearing those words. "Pardon?"

"You're all dead!" Kankuro smashed his head back into the pillows, covered his face with his damaged hand and his good one.

"What do you mean?" Pressed Gaara. Kankuro looked around nervously, spotting his bag that he'd taken to Kallou's party, suddenly remembering that he'd thrown it into their car because he didn't have room for a duffel bag like that. He was supposed to have picked it up to put in the car, but there wasn't room. He'd put it in the backseat with Kallou, because Kallou liked to play with the zippers on it.

Kankuro's eyes roved on and he spotted Kai curled up in the chair beside him, soft sounds coming from her mouth when she heard the sound of his voice. Hey eyes scrunched tighter, as though maybe she thought that she was dreaming, and didn't want to leave him.

"But... "

"Kankuro! What the hell are you talking about?" Pressed Gaara, his hand on Kankuro's bed as he leaned in almost angrilly.

"Well," struggled Kankuro." You two were in the car with Kallou, and it went off that cliff. The one you were saying needed railing. And..."

"Well?"

Kankuro, now too embarrassed to admit his failure, left out the fact that he'd tried to save them. "You died."

Gaara's face softened, and he leaned back. "Even...?"

Kankuro nodded, and Gaara frowned. "But how do I know _this _isn't a dream?"

"It isn't. It's just the morphine you're on. You had a bad reaction to the sedative we gave you earlier." Replied Sakura, her smile of relief widening.

"Gaara! You're skin was peeling off, and you were... gross." Confessed Kankuro loudly, his shout jerking Kai from her dreams. She looked up slowly, her eyes drifting shut a couple times before opening all the way.

"Kankuro! Oh my god! You had me so worried! Are you ok?!" Kai moved to hug him, then stopped abruptly at the bandages in her way. "Sorry, I don't want to hurt you."

Kankuro smiled weakly,and Kai sighed, resting her head near his hand. "Hey, um... Do you think you could see if Dr. Wong could schedule me in some time, like... really soon?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he'd be able to."

Kankuro sighed, leaning back against the pillows. He wanted to sleep, but he didn't want to get caught up in dreams again. So he made a plan. "Sakura,do you have anything that can like... knock me out so I don't dream?"

Sakura's lower lip was sucked into her mouth as she thought, and she grimaced. "I'll see what I can do. Nightmares?"

"Yeah... I don't want to sleep. It's too confusing. You'll have to keep trying to wake me up so I don't sleep when it wears off."

"Why?"

"I'm a bit afraid that I won't end up back here, but that I'll keep switching back and forth between dreamland and reality, you know?" Kankuro confessed groggily, and Sakura's draw dropped. This was the deepest and most emotional thing he'd ever said to her, other than crying his eyes out and moaning about dead people. He was having problems, and she coudn't wait to get him checked out. He needed it.

* * *

"Hey," Nodded Kankuro, extending his hand to Dr. Wong, who smiled reassuringly.

"Hello, Kankuro. I'm glad you came back to see me." Kankuro nodded anxiously, glancing around nervously. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well..." Kankuro was having doubts about coming here. This was harder now than it had been last time. Absently he wondered if this is what Gaara had felt like in front of all those shrinks- wanting to talk but too ashamed with what was bothering him so much."You see... I kinda..."

Kankuro waited to see if Dr. Wong would help him out, but when he did not, Kankuro scowled. No one would help him with _anything_ anymore. "What did you do, Kankuro?"

"I don't really know. We were driving back from Kallou's party, and somehow the car wrecked. I don't even know how... they showed me pictures and stuff, but... I thought that..." Kankuro groaned,looking up to the ceiling to keep himself from crying _yet again._ He felt like a bitch, crying all over the place. Even Kai didn't cry this much, but then that wasn't really her style. She just got frustrated and stalked off, which was what he used to do... but now, it was different.

"Kankuro? Sakura told me about what you thought had happened." Dr. Wong could see Kankuro was having problems coming out with that, and he didn't want to pressure him.

"Yeah... I don't get it. It felt _so_ real!" Whispered Kankuro, his head now cradled in his hands."I can still see them in the water, dying... I dream that all the time, you know? Over... and over! _And over, and over!" _Kankuro flung the box of tissues that sat next to him across the room, smacking a startled Dr. Wong with it. "Shit- sorry, Wong...."

"I understand, Kankuro. It's a perfectly understandable reaction." Dr. Wong was careful to make sure that he didn't say it was alright for him to throw things, because it was not. "Now, could you describe these dreams you're having?"

"Well, it's different scenarios, but they just keep dying. I'm trying as hard as I can to save them, but it never works, and they die... It varies all the time, but no matter what they just- die." There was a certain questioning in his voice, and Dr. Wong knew then that Kankuro couldn't understand why he was having such awful dreams.

"Kankuro, I think you're having these dreams because you've already experienced the loss of your brother and his family- even though it wasn't a real experience it felt like one. I'm going to prescribe you with some sleeping pills. They should stop the dreams, and you'll get the sleep that you obviously need." Dr. Wong nodded, as if to confirm his thoughts, and he pulled out his prescription pad, and wrote down the name of some medicine, and Kankuro grunted heavily.

"Look- I appreciate it, but I'm not taking pills. I just... I want to not feel shitty anymore, you know?" Kankuro lifted his eyes to look at Dr. Wong, a grimace turning down his lips.

"I understand that, Kankuro. Some people can turn themselves around naturally, but in your case I don't see that happening. I'm going to prescribe them anyway. And if you choose not to use them, fine- so be it. But if you do decide to give them a try, what's the harm in that?" Dr. Wong reasoned. Kankuro sighed, and held out his hand to accept the prescription note.

So much for holding it together. He couldn't even sleep on his own anymore- what the hell was his life coming to!?

**Author's Note- So this is long, and yes abrupt and confusing. But I hope you like it. :) REVIEWS ARE AMAZING! Is this a good turn around? **

**Lauren/Mellokai**

**KUDOS TO KALLOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D**

**Haha- P.s. Did you get the Lee reference? lmao.  
**


	45. Isn't This What You've Been Waiting For?

Kankuro sighed, rolling over onto his side. Every single time he'd fallen asleep that night, the first things he saw were their dead bodies. He knew now that their death had been a coping mechanism to keep him from focusing on his own injuries, but now it seemed trivial. It didn't matter why he saw their dead bodies, it was the fact that he saw them every time he closed his eyes.

It was nearly three in the morning, and he had to get some sleep for work the next day. He was going to be able to mess around with graphics on a computer if his eyes hurt from lack of sleep. Kankuro groaned, pushing his head into the pillow. Kai's head popped up angrily and she pinched his earlobe.

"Kankuro, if you don't take those damn pills I swear to god, I am going to knock you out myself. " She threatened, her eyes only half open. Kankuro grunted, pushing her hand away to rub his ear.

"Fine... But you _better _make up for this... _Damn pills._" Kankuro ripped the bottle open and took his dose, and Kai smiled. She kissed his chest, and thanked him.

"I will. Don't worry." She smirked suggestively and Kankuro's eyes sparkled mischievously.

"Yeah. You'd _better_." Snorted Kankuro, burrowing his head into his pillow. Kai rested her head on his chest, resisting the urge to touch him inappropriately. Kankuro let out a low sigh, and then folded his hands behind his head.

"Kankuro, you need to get a fucking shower in the morning." Scowled Kai, yanking his arms down. Kankuro made a hurt noise, suddenly shoving her face into his armpit.

"Argh! You asshole! Cut it out!" Kankuro groaned with defeat, and let her go, his eyes already growing heavy. Kai sighed and closed her eyes, and was back to sleep in less than ten minutes. Kankuro listened to the sounds and sighs she made in her sleep, closing his eyes.

It took a while for the medicine to kick in, but Kankuro was willing to wait. If there was a chance that the horrible nightmares would go away- Kankuro scowled, wondering if he was going to rely on them now. Oh well, tonight would hopefully be a one time thing-he just hoped that they'd work...

* * *

Kankuro scowled, opening the sun shining through the window and directly into his eyes. What time was it!?

Kankuro rolled over, grabbing at the little alarm clock, his body still half asleep. "One!? Goddamit!"

He threw the alarm clock down onto the nightstand, and wrenched back his covers. He swore a couple of times as he quickly threw himself into the shower, not bothering to read the various notes that Kai had taped up in the most obvious places. He was in too much of a hurry.

Kankuro didn't bother to shave, but rather decided to simply towel dry his hair. It'd be dry soon enough anyway. He was about to open the medicine cabinet, when he saw the large note taped to the mirror.

'**No work today. :) I called in sick for you. Figured you'd need it. You're supposed to get at least eight hours of sleep with those, and you took them pretty late, so... anyway! Love ya! Huggles! **

**Kai'**

She'd posted them all over in the most obvious places that Kankuro couldn't understand how he'd missed them. He wandered around the house, pulling them all down and stacking them neatly.

His stomach rumbled and he scratched at it absently, then winced. The broken bone in his arm was still healing, and wiggling his fingers still hurt.

He dug through the cabinets, searching through the biggest bowl he could find, and poured himself a humongous bowl of cereal. He couldn't remember cereal ever tasting so good. He sighed halfway through the bowl, unable to finish it. The pills knocked out his appetite, which he thought was strange- he was almost always hungry.

Kankuro sighed, taking the bowl back out to the kitchen, then plopped down on the couch to watch TV. His dreams were fuzzy, and he they were generally good, though every so often there would be picture-flashes of macabre sights, and he'd wake up in a cold sweat.

But as bad as the dreams were- they were getting worse and worse- he wasn't going to take that damn medication. He couldn't stand being doped up, or trashed. Sure, he liked a buzz,and just past it, but being wasted wasn't really his style. Unless he was in a drinking competition, but even then- it took a lot to get him drunk. These pills made him feel powerless and groggy, as though he was trying to swim against a tidal wave of a current.

Kankuro's eyes drooped lower, right in the middle of a steamy scene of the movie- generally not the best place to fall asleep when you're having morbid nightmares. Which, is suffice to say, he made sure everything was _there _when he woke up. Kai, who had gotten back from work by then, gave him a strange look, and he reddened sheepishly.

"Ah... nightmare." Kai burst into a fit of giggles, and covered her mouth with a hand.

"You're kidding me right?" When he shook his head she laughed even harder until he flung a pillow at her. Her laughter stopped abruptly, and then she burst into a fit of laughter even more violent than before. "You're-" She struggled for breath,"a-" She giggled again," _riot!_"

"I am not! Shut up." Moped Kankuro, crossing his arms tiredly over his chest and glaring at the Tv.

"Oh, come on! Ha! Aha.... I'm sorry, Ro." Kankuro's eyes opened at the sound of her pet name. "Am I still in trouble?"

"Yes."

* * *

**Eight Years Later**

* * *

"Come on, Dad!" Shouted Kallou, his toothy grin uneven- he'd just lost a tooth.

Gaara growled, making his way past the rocks and pretty things on the beach of their lake toward his son. "What, Kal?"

"Look! Uncle's teaching Kabu to swim!" Laughed Kallou.

"What's so funny?" Shouted Kankuro.

"Hold him sideways, stupid!" Laughed Gaara. Kankuro had been holding the baby out in front of him, so that whenever the baby kicked, he was showered in a ray of water.

"I'm doing this on purpose!" Lied Kankuro, sticking out his tongue. Kabu wasn't really his kid, but he'd adopted him from one of his buddies who'd passed away a few months back. The wife of his friend had been unable to look at the child without bursting into tears, so Kankuro- with the permission of Kai, of course- had offered the raise him, and Ubuge had agreed. And now, he had his own little munchkin running around. Funny thing was, it looked like Kai's little brother. Go figure, huh?

The pink had finally grown out of Kallou's hair- it had always been on just the little tips, but now it was gone. Gaara and Kallou _both_ were happy of this, but Sakura was sad to see it go. It was the only thing of herself she saw in him, though Gaara knew that Kallou had her humor, and her eyes, and her lips. Gaara turned back to look at Sakura who was up on the deck of the house, reading a book, as carefree as can be.

He smiled, the wind tussling his hair, and Sakura looked down, as if sensing that he was watching. She lowered her book, and stood up, sending him that smile he knew was just for him, and his chest still had his moments where he flew off the handle, but she always pulled him back down.

Gaara sighed, his hair dropping back down, clearly mussed and out of place. But, that was how it always was, and that was how he knew Kallou's would be. So far, no one had found out that Kallou's dad was a crazy, psycho killler, but, give it time. They already had a game plan for when that happened- so it was nothing to worry about.

He still had to take his medication regularly- they'd tried once or twice to take him off of it, and the outcome hadn't been good. But, even though he still had to be medicated, the years of misery that he'd spent in that damned Institution seemed a distant memory. Kankuro was even back to his normal self- or at least reformed normal self. He and Kai both had sworn that they'd never have kids, yet look at them now.

Having kids had done both of the brothers good, and it made them grow up a little. Okay, forgive me, a lot. They learned about the love of a parent, and how different their child's life was from theirs'. Genes didn't mean anything- parenting comes from the heart, not how you were raised. At least, in their case it was.

Sure, not everyone got a happy ending. But them.... They deserved it, didn't they? As cruel as the world was, and as many happy endings were denied- they were greatful for theirs. There were still bumps and accidents along the road, but they were all living normal, happym, lives. And shouldn't that be enough for anyone?

**Author's Note...So sadly, this is the end of it. :P Sorry for cheasiness, but yeah. :) Reviews are _orgasssssmic!_ So leave me some, please! :D I am going to have another Gaasaku story- Behind Locked Doors- up soon. :) It's a institution fic as well, but all our favorite characters are in the institution, and Sakura and Gaara _both_ will be playing patients- so will Kankuro, Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Shikmaru, and- me- because I can't help myself, and my faithful helper- KALLOU!!**

**So, if you want more Gaasaku, or just another fic by moi- sorry for being conceated, lol. :) Go check it out! It'll be up pretty soon! :D **

**Lauren/Mellokai  
**


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